[Rant] I am an Incel?

[Anonymous]

I am 23 years old with Asperger's syndrome, been severely bullied
I workout 4 days a week.
Every girl I have approached has rejected me in a really harsh way, one girl accused me of sexually harassing her despite learning PUA.
Don't tell me that bullshit "Just be confident" confidence comes from having constant positive results, telling an incel to be confident is like telling poop not to stink.
Every time I see PDA it feels like torture, makes me feel depressed
One time I was at a party, a drunk girl I know and some other acquaintances told me : "You look like you have never kissed a girl or a kissless virgin", I lied about it but told that she is being a bitch.
I tried lowering my standards, but even the ugly ones think I am a creep.
I cringe when my parents for being disingenuous about my looks they think my looks are an 9/10 but I am barely a 4/10 on my best day.
One time I got a tinder match, we agreed on a date but she never showed up.
This is how I look on my best day
https://imgur.com/dhsn8NT

[MlleCake]

With Asberger's you have a genuine reason why it's harder for you to attract a partner. It's not your fault. It's just they way people on the spectrum look at the world is kind of different from how everyone else does. This isn't a bad thing. It just takes some adjustment.

I don't find you unattractive in the least.

I think you can get help with interpersonal communication from a therapist who specializes in this sort of thing.

Here are some sites with information on how to make dating a little easier for you.

www.kennethrobersonphd.com/.../

www.npr.org/.../advice-for-dating-with-aspergers-dont-call-100-times-a-week

https://uneepi.com

https://www.aane.org/dating-scene-interested/

https://iancommunity.org/cs/articles/relationships

I know several people with Asberger's who have managed to find love in this complicated world. I hope you won't give up. I think it's a matter of skill building when you get the right kinds of instruction.

[IHateBeingaMan]

ya, people with autism/aspergers, physically they are born normal, they don't have any physical deformities on their bodies, it's more they can't communicate, socialize normally compared to people without autism/aspergers

[turnmypainintopower1]

I mean your not the most hansome guy ever but you ARE NOT ugly in anyway I swear to you and confidence does come from compliment and that type of thing but you have to have some of your own confidence you can't let people bring you down and trust me I have a brother who is 20 and has austism so I speaking from experience just try your best to keep your head up high

[btbc92]

Celibacy is a choice just like sex and everything else is a choice. If you already think like this, buddy, just give up already. All I see is somebody who has a serious problem and needs counseling. It's sad you have Aspergers but grow up, please. It's not the end of the world for you.

[Anonymous]

Probably no but it will be hard. To be very honest with you. dating is hard even for the good looking ones. There might be someone out there for you but you just have to keep on trying. There is no magic way to just be able to find the one.

[Asker]

There is someone ou there for everyone is like gambling

[Opinion Owner]

well dating is like a gamble, when you go on a date you don't know you will find the one or not, no guarantee

[Asker]

I might as well give up on dating and love.
Better give up than waste my time and risking everything.
by the way romantic love is just a chemical reaction that has a function to reproduce.

[Giggletr0n]

Well you definitely have some of the hallmark traits of an Incel for sure; not all but some!
I know it must suck to have never been laid and yeah SOME girls are pure bitches to people the are obviously virgins but dude, fill your life with other things and it will happen if you stop chasing it! Maybe work out more and make body building a hobbie? Not for the girls but for you!
Be honest we all know that no matter what people say you are not gonna believe it or take it on board; that's the Incel mentality!

[englisc]

The trouble with PUA stuff is that a lot of the so-called "experts" are just charlatans looking to scam men into buying their bullshit products. A small number of PUAs are good, but if you learn from the wrong ones you just end up even worse than when you started because they're just as clueless as you are. That's probably why you're creeping girls out.

Who did you learn from?

[Asker]

Neil Strauss AKA Style

[englisc]

Jesus Christ... That guy is a fucking idiot. One of the worst. This is why you're creeping girls out you're following bad advice.

[catmandoes]

I know a lot of people who look worse that are Heartbreakers. All about confidence, all about being genuine, all about being welcoming. You could be David Beckham but if you are slouching and shy and say inappropriate things you won't get laid.

[Asker]

I never say inappropriate things.
I have a decent job, and continuing my masters degree in Computer Science and Robotics

[catmandoes]

Didn't say you did. But what isn't inappropriate to someone might be inappropriate to someone else. Even asking what job someone has could be inappropriate.

[Zimthewrath]

I’m an aspi too. Find rsdtyler on YouTube and listen to his stuff. He is very successful with women and there’s video proof around YouTube. He’s 5’9 bald, fat and a ginger. He runs a fantastic pickup company. Take all rsd advice with a grain of common sense, socialy we’re blind men and you think running around unfamiliar territory is a good idea. It’s not. Tread consciously. Negative reinforcement is like our biggest minefield.

[Zimthewrath]

He has Aspergers as well

[kittyluv]

You don´t look bad at all. So it´s got to be about behavior, not looks. Maybe you would be eligible for councelling, given your diagnosis?

[Asker]

I did see therapists, but they put me on medications which made thing way worse like sucidal thoughts

[kittyluv]

I´m not talking about meds or such, I´m talking about someone to help you improve your social skills.

[Dog19]

What would you do if you saw your friend looking like he was about to cry?

[kittyluv]

@Dog19 Kill him?

[ashleyb93]

I personally think you're cute. Dont buy into the incel mentality... itll only hurt you. It just sounds like maybe you have some self esteem issues. Maybe try talking to a therapist?

[Rangers]

You're not an incel bro, you have plenty of time to turn things around

[Calzone2018]

I am sorry that this happened to you but how about you find a girl who also has asperger's?

[Anonymous]

If you gotten laid before no. I once was asked what’s it like being a virgin by a girl at a party. I’ve been with over 20 women at that point I so it’s not like you like an incel

[Anonymous]

thats why it bothers me that guys have always been and probably always will be, have to be the ones to initiate the interaction

[YeetMama]

Enlighten a poor soul... Tf is an incel?

[Asker]

Someone who can't get laid but wants to even though they tried really hard

[YeetMama]

You can't "can't get laid". Honestly, don't try to get laid and I'd guarantee it is more likely to happen. A girl can tell someone being natural apart from someone desperate. I'd rather be attracted to someone because they are friendly and making an effort to know me rather than just know my body for a night or two

[Asker]

by the way incel is much more than sex, it is about having someone love you

[YeetMama]

I'm pretty sure deep down most, if not all, people dream of that

[Dog19]

Sorry you are a Incel