Am I the meanie?

[Anonymous]

I (21 F) want to start this off by saying that I really do love my boyfriend (22 M) with all my heart but he never really stands up for me towards his older sister (26-27 F) because she starts problems and he doesn't like conflict with his family members which I understand but it just sucks... then there are times she is nice to me but then she'll be really mean to me… (she compared me to my boyfriends best friend’s girlfriend and told me I need to be more like her… When I was doing my makeup she told me “You’re pretty but you not that pretty”, “My brother likes a traditional woman you need to step your game up.”, “Quit using school as an excuse” (which I really genuinely don’t), “You need to grow up.”, etc..) But then she'll definitely go back to being mean to me... I give her so many chances... but she says she's my "sister" so she can speak to me like that... And I did try standing up (in the kindest way) for myself but it always "you're too sensitive", "you need to grow up", etc... plus she will never really hear me out she’ll just yell at me… Also, I'm an older sister and I don't speak to my brother like that. My brother and I rarely ever fight... May I ask what can I do? I know this is going to sound bad but I did go through my boyfriends phone because I had a gut feeling that she was talking about me and I was right. After I stood up for myself she called me a stupid b—tch dumb and told him that I should switch college majors and get your dumb stupid b—tch girlfriend… then she called me fake, a stupid b—tch again… There are times she is nice (not a lot but she can be nice) to me but then she’s gets really mean to me out of no where even when I try to help her with things she asks for… but it makes me think does she really like me or is it an act? What should I do? Thank you to anyone who read all of this and for helping me!! I really appreciate it I just really have no one to go to… to talk about this situation…

[Saiesh30]

I'm not sure what your future plans are with your boyfriend but if it entails marriage, it's not gonna be a fruitful decision as it seems.
His sister is a toxic personality and honestly there's nothing you can do when a person doesn't like you.
She's being mean to you openly and your boyfriend doesn't say anything.
Going through his phone wasn't a good idea really coz now you know what she thinks of you but can't really bring that up as they'll say you spied on his phone.
Pray she gets away from him lol else just do everything that you could think of doing. Leave nothing that would make you regret later. And if you see no result, it's best to move on.

[molonski2]

I can't really see any way around this without seriously standing up for yourself , this " sister " is a classic manipulator and she is never going to be nice to you , its just never going to happen , classic case of pure " Cattie " , she is just being a bully , so you simply have to show a tough exterior that you are not going to take this sht any longer , and he , he needs to grow a pair and join your side.

[Anonymous]

Well. You need to stand up for yourself. Stop being a little bitch and Handel your own business.

[Staximus]

You should tell her to fuck off