If you were a transsexual woman what would you do to make your heart hurt less?

[ElizaPam]

My heart hurts so bad every day!! 🥺Not just because I feel awkward in my body but because people are super mean!😭 Over the past 12 years that I’ve been living as a girl people have said the cruelest things to me even my mommy! She used to call me a freak and tell me she should’ve aborted me. 😭 She’s not mean to me anymore but the memories still hurt. So many people have fun hurting my feelings I don’t even know why.

I barely have any happy memories but a lot of sad ones, so I make my own happy memories 🤗 as long as I have an imagination I can have happy memories like a cis woman. Like prom! 🥰

It breaks my heart how guys stop being sweet to me and get mad at me and uncomfortable around me after they find out I’m trans! 😢 I promise them that I’m 110% woman on the inside but they don’t care.

What would you do if you were a special girl like me to stop hurting? I know in heaven I’ll stop hurting because I won’t be in a boys body anymore and all the meanies will say they’re sorry but I wanna stop hurting NOW! I want to stop being an oddball RIGHT NOW!! But I’ll always be this way until I go to heaven and people will always have fun making me cry😭

[BeyondCuriosity]

I want to open this by saying that I'm not trying to change your mind about anything in your life. You get to be your own person, and you should be able to feel proud about the person that you are. I don't say any of these things to try to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad, so please don't take it that way.

Being openly trans is going to be a responsibility and sometimes a burden. Trans people are not the only people who are going to feel pressure over something that's not in their control. You will have the extra burden of people arguing that what you do to yourself physically IS in your control, which is true to a point, but it doesn't change how you feel mentally and emotionally. Basically it boils down to you having the option to hide yourself and suffer internally to not be bullied, which you shouldn't have to do.

A lot of men will be uncomfortable with you, and a lot of times this is more a matter of them being uncomfortable with themselves. Some people don't believe that trans women are women. If they find themselves attracted to you at any point, that threatens their masculinity, or implies that they are gay. They can't handle that, and they will blame you for causing them a confusion about themselves that they can't cope with. Also, some people just feel a need to hate trans people. I don't understand it, the same way I don't understand racism, but it's a truth that's out there even if it doesn't make any logical sense.

You specifically have the extra challenge of being strongly republican. While I find it very confusing that you would be republican, I'm not here to condemn you for it or change your mind about it. The thing is that the vast majority of people with republican views are not likely to approve of your choice in this matter. I think you're going to struggle a lot trying to find like minded people, either because they can't accept you for being trans, or they can't accept you for being right leaning. I think it's going to be very difficult being in both of those categories at once, and it's going to take a lot of patience and heartbreak before you can find people that you can call your own, but please don't give up. I know what it's like to feel isolated, even if it's not for the same reasons you do, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

You will never stop being an oddball. I think understanding and accepting that is going to help a lot. I gained a lot by not holding myself to other people's standards and by asking myself what my own standards were. Try to remember that being different is difficult, but has the potential to be much more rewarding than blending in. No one ever became great by being average. What people think is odd can differ from place to place quite a bit too. What region of the U. S. are you in? Is that part of the problem?

One other thing I want to bring up that only you can try to answer for yourself is: Are some of the people who are hurting you trying to give you "tough love"? Your mom, for example. Was she maybe saying those hurtful things because she believed she had to bully you out of doing something you would regret? Was she trying to protect you at heart? It doesn't make it right to say those things to you, but maybe it might take some heaviness off of your heart to know that maybe some people are being cruel with the intention of protecting you from something worse.

I have a load of advice for trans women that I think is good advice, but I'm not in your position and I haven't been through it, so I won't go into all the extra stuff you haven't asked about. I really do hope things get better. I ask you again to not give up, and I hope this helps.

[ElizaPam]

I’m from Tennessee and yeah it’s a problem where trans people are almost always left leaning it’s hard for me to make trans friends. All my friends are cis. That was really good advice especially from a cis man and I would love more ❤️

[BeyondCuriosity]

Sent you a message. Hope that's okay.

[DaMack999]

Don't let some insecure guys make you feel less then you are. You're beautiful. You're awesome. You need good friends on your side. Trans community is huge don't be shy to get to know them. I feel bad for you and what you had to experience. any man would love a trans women as his woman. Including me.

[ElizaPam]

Guys have told me I’m gross, a monster, a Frankenstein, a guys worst nightmare, and they’ve threatened to hurt me and kill me. So guys like you mean everything to me, thank you for being sweet! 🤗 it’s easy for a girl like me to forget that not every guy is a meanie.

[DaMack999]

Definitely. I appreciate you knowing not all people are the same. People do become mean once they don't understand you. I understand trans community my best friend is one. So I find them more living and caring then other people. People run away from people just because of their sexual orientation or religion or whatever else they hate them for "just because" ideas.

[DaMack999]

More loving I meant lol

[HappyLeng]

Don't mind them, anybody who's unhappy with their lives tend to say nasty things to other people. I know what it feels like when you said your ma was mean to you because I grew up with my mom comparing me to other kids, how other kids are smarter than me or that I'm fat even though I'm a size 8-10. Believe me, even if she's your ma, her (not so good) opinions don't matter. Live your life to the fullest, fuck the negative people in your life, your happiness doesn't depened on their approval or acceptance of your sexuality.

[Virgo31]

It’s okay, there are tons of people like you. It’s wrong to be cruel to someone because of their gender and I hope you feel better.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

I hope that you see a Dr.(s) for medication and therapy. You're in a unique situation that most people dont have to deal with. Can you find support in the gay community or the transgendered community.

Even if you find it online it might help

I would recommend being up front with guys about your situation. That will reduce the chances of them beiung mean because they're angry that you hid something from them

[Anonymous]

I think you have to accept yourself as a man and only that away you can be completely happy inside and outside because it is your real nature, good luck

[ElizaPam]

I’m not a man I’m not capable of being one if being a man was possible I would be one but it’s simply impossible for me to be a man. These feelings have been with me since my earliest memories.

[Opinion Owner]

Have you tried therapy to to feel a man and accept yourself? I think you should try to do that because it is you nature and I think you can feel pretty better accepting your nature, I do not want to hurt you I am just telling my thoughts

[ElizaPam]

No I tried prayer and trying to find a way to be a man that I’m happy with but I never could. I’ve never heard of therapy for trans people to make us cis. Thank you for being respectful.

[Opinion Owner]

Ahh I get it, well maybe you can try to go to therapy and say “I want to try to feel as a man and try to accept my nature, can you help me?”, maybe a therapist can make you see good things on being a man that you cannot see alone 🤔 and maybe you can find yourself that away, I am sure God will help you, keep praying for the best!

[Anonymous]

Just ignore the negativity. You're not answerable to them. Whatever you do is for yourself. Your happiness is for you. You don't need negativity from third parties in your life.

[Juxtapose]

Do you know how many people fucking love trannies? I would just get a protective harem lol.

[ElizaPam]

I wish they told me sweet things as much as the meanies tell me mean things.

[Juxtapose]

It's a known fact that negative experiences will stick out in your mind more than positive ones.

Just tell the assholes to go fuck themselves and move on, they're not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Why make fun of someone for their gender identity, that's dumb.