Should I just accept being an incel?

[Anonymous]

I don't feel entitled. I understand I'm not very high value in a relationship and nothing can really change that. The bar for men is so low and I can't even meet that. I've been a burden in every relationship I've ever had. Is it time to give up?

[whirled_up_girl]

I don't know you so I can't say whether you are being too hard on yourself or not. I have been there though, having the feeling that your not good enough for someone else. My advice is to figure out why you feel this way and there is something you can do to change it, then change it. If there is nothing you can do to change whatever it is then keep looking till you find someone who is willing to accept you for who you are. I've tried the angry bitter thing, and it takes a lot of energy and doesn't lead to any better place emotionally than just plain being single and alone without the anger and bitterness.

[MarkRet]

Relationships require work, compromise, and consideration towards the other person to keep it going. In my teens and early twenties, I didn't consider myself worth anyone's time, so I didn't even try going on dates. I figured it just wasn't going to happen for me, so I didn't even think about any kind of relationship, but at the same time in my early twenties, I started doing things that interested me, like ice skating lessons, which expanded my horizons and self-confidence. I broke out of a lot of shells along the way without even realizing it. It wasn't long after that, I ended up getting married. It was like everything just kind of fell into place.

Maybe you should work on bettering yourself, and things might fall into place for you.

[Bluemax]

Why do you feel you aren't very valuable in a relationship?

May I ask what you are doing in life? Are you employed? Are you working to better yourself?

[SecretsofKB]

Why do you feel that you are the burden? Is this a self-imposed feeling or so you have tangible instances where you are the burden?

[Asker]

Most recent ex always seemed burdened doing stuff for me or like I was a cause of stress

[SecretsofKB]

That doesn't mean that you are a burden. That just means that that relationship wasn't meant to be. Keep trying. Once you find your one, you will know you're not a burden

[Asker]

I have nothing of value to a woman that a better man doesn't already have

[SecretsofKB]

Doesn't mean someone can't love you.

[dustybiker]

Would you date you?
I’m always working to better myself and been in a long haul relationship. Always room for improvement. The more you like yourself the more others like and appreciate you.

[dustybiker]

Not to be confused with ego.

[Anonymous]

you realize that nothing you said makes you an incel and if you give up on women that also does not make you an Incel cell

inCel is just a word used by pissed off females who don’t like having the truth about their actions and consequences of their actions pointed out to them.

[Truthatanycost]

We are what ever we think we are. We become our most common thoughts. We can choose strength or weakness..

[SnakeBoop]

Time to seek therapy for your self hate

[Asker]

I don't hate myself

[SnakeBoop]

You think of yourself so little. That's hating yourself.

[Asker]

Acknowledging I'm inadequate in a relationship sense isn't self hatred. I'm a completely normal person otherwise.

[SnakeBoop]

Like I said, self hating.
But whatever.

[rabbitzzz]

Yes.