Why is my man insecure about me losing weight?

[Harlana]

I am by no means overweight but I could lose a few pounds. My man has been getting insecure about it. He asked me why do I need to do that when I have him? What’s his deal?

[desidoll]

Oh damn my man is the same way. I have gained weight recently after this end of year holiday and many of my clothes don't fit me. I told him I am working out and dieting to shed some pounds and he tried so hard to stop me saying I look good and he likes my thick thighs. I look good with clothes on, not naked. I am not sure if their definition of fat or chubby is different than us women, but assuming they are insecure, they feel like if we are slimmer, we will get more attention from the men. They don't like it.

[Harlana]

Right? That pisses me off!

[alwayswrite]

Sounds like he doesn’t want you to start getting attention from other men.

If you do decided to work on losing weight tell him you’re not doing it for him, you’re doing it for yourself!

[Harlana]

I have told him that. I think he’s still worried though. He’s very attractive so I’m not sure why he’s so insecure

[alwayswrite]

I’ve learned that people don’t always see what we see (I know a girl whose drop dead gorgeous and for some reasons she’s insecure)

But if I were you I’d still work out and better myself. Your man will be fine!

[Harlana]

Yes that’s very true. I will! Thank u. I will just have to include him and pay extra attention to him

[Ripper_E]

Maybe he thinks you'll look even more attractive, attract other men, and leave him.
Makes no sense, because you can't look at it that way every time your partner looks good. Y

[Harlana]

I guess so gosh when he tries to get home. It makes me wonder if that’s why he thinks

[Ripper_E]

Assure him that it isn't the case. Not in words though, because some people don't hear it.

[Harlana]

That’s very good advice thank u

[Ripper_E]

You're welcome

[ForteExe]

Sounds to me like he thinks you're getting ready to trade up for some reason.

[Harlana]

What makes guys do that?

[ForteExe]

Probably the same things that make girls do it. What would make you worry that your boyfriend was getting ready to leave you for some other girl?

[Harlana]

No I actually don’t

[ForteExe]

I wasn't asking if you do or don't. It's a hypothetical.

[Harlana]

Ok I’m sorry I misunderstood.

[ForteExe]

Lol it's fine. No need to apologise.

[I_smell_Ducky]

He seriously said that? Does he actually think the only reason to take care of your body is to get into a relationship? Not sure if that's sad, or funny TBH.

[Harlana]

I know that’s what I’m wondering!

[I_smell_Ducky]

How long have you been with him?

[Harlana]

10 months

[I_smell_Ducky]

I'd get out of there. But. That may just be me.

[Harlana]

Well he’s a good man. I won’t up and leave because honestly we all get insecure about weird things

[I_smell_Ducky]

Yeah, that much is true. I suppose if you are more comfortable with him than alone it's worth staying.

[markscott]

He might wonder if you are losing weight to attract a new guy, or other guys. Or he may be too heavy himself, and feel left out and insecure if you lose weight and he doesn't, again, maybe ending in you becoming interested in someone else who is not heavy.

[slatyb]

1. If you are overweight (BMI > 25) then do it for your health.
2. Exercise for your health anyway.
3. He seems to think that you are doing to make yourself more attractive to guys. He's comfortable with your appearance now but he's afraid that if you lose weight that you will be attractive to more guys and will choose them instead. This is his way of saying "I'm not all that great but neither are you. If you improve yourself I'm afraid you will outgrow me." Maybe you already have.

[s2firestar]

Lol you are one of the first girls who have a healthy self-view here about their weight. Props for that.

Otherwise, the reason is obvious. You lose weight, you become even more attractive. And from here, it's really not rocket science.

[YaGirlKatie]

He might be into slightly larger women. I’d say you do you. If you want to lose weight and get thinner then do it. You’ll be better about yourself and more confident. And when your boyfriend sees your more happy, then he should be happy for you

[DDpsy]

That is quite strange what usually happens is that you magically end up with twice the wife or girlfriend and you are the monster if you say anything.

[Harlana]

Sorry I’m confused

[DDpsy]

Some women will take commitment to mean a pass to put another 100pds on. Men disapproving of the new situation will be considered quite vile.

[DetroitGirl36]

He is afraid you will be to good for him.

[Harlana]

Have u ever delt with that?

[DetroitGirl36]

No I haven't dealt with your exact scenario. But I've been in relationships where the guys wanted me to dress down when going out. They didn't want other guys looking at me. At the core of it, he is probably just afraid of losing you, a new wave of guys looking at you, etc... I think some guys might think if their girls get attention they might think they have better options? Maybe he thinks you are doing it to attract other men? Especially if he is insecure about himself?
The only thing you can do is prove to him otherwise.

[Harlana]

Gosh that seems to be what everyone is saying. Thank u for the thoughtful response

[Caunsos]

because he feel you could do better then him

[Harlana]

Gosh that’s not true :(

[AtomicCheesing]

Maybe he likes you as you are.

[Harlana]

He does but I’m doing it so I can feel more confident and healthy

[AtomicCheesing]

He should back you 100% but he may feel this way on the inside for a little while

[Harlana]

Gosh I have never encountered this

[LastNightmare]

That's fine. You look great

[Harlana]

Why is he so insecure? And thank u☺️

[LastNightmare]

Because be must be insecure about losing you

[Harlana]

I don’t understand why that would entail losing me

[LastNightmare]

You look cute but if you're losing Weight there's much chances other guys hitting on you and you may fall for someone eventually and he lose you

[Harlana]

Gosh so if I’m skinnier he thinks I will leave him?

[LastNightmare]

That's how it goes. He's insecure and that's what I can figure out

[OtakuNeko666]

He probs want you to be happy with your weight?

[numerouno85]

Maybe he like a pregnant looking stomach

[Razal]

Probably he likes chubby girls.