I hit my girlfriend, and I don't know how to make it up to her?

[Anonymous]

So she started pushing me pretty hard and screaming at me before anything happened. I walked away and she was still pushing me real hard as I'm walking away. I let her calm down, came back up to the apartment, and she pushed me even harder against the window and it really sprained my thumb by pushing it back. It's on a slit right now. Being a combat veteran with PTSD and a trained fighter, something snapped... and I punched her in the face twice really hard and very fast, and she hit the floor. She was still fighting me so I held her down by the neck and when she tried to keep hitting me I kicked her in head.

I'm not trying to avoid responsibility by saying this, but something snapped and I felt like it wasn't even me. I felt like I was on deployment again, and just responded the way I was trained to when I'm being physically threatened and hurt. The thing about combat is that you say you'll do this and that, but when it actually happens, you rely on muscle memory. I finally snapped out of it, and saw her crying and she was saying she forgave me before she even apologized.

I saw the bruises and I immediately broke down and just started crying and apologizing. I felt so dirty and wrong, and couldn't believe what I had just done. I'm supposed to protect her, not hurt her. She's scared that I could possibly kill her if she ever got me to that point again. I feel so shameful and I can't even sleep. I know she looks at me differently. I've been holding her non-stop and being as gentle as I can.

I just don't know what do or how or if I can fix this. She forgives me and keeps saying it, but I know she's looking at me differently. I know I'm wrong. I feel out of control. I planned a therapy appointment for myself to work on this.

Updates

+1 y

Before I* even apologized.

[MementoMori_]

Oh man. I hear your pain but can't hit a woman bro... no matter what. If you feel you are going into that mode you have to just walk away as fast as you can and stay away until it passes.

I am not blaming you. And thank you for your service to our country. I have sympathy for your issue and hope you can get the kind of help that will get you past it. I'm sure it must be extremely difficult.

Convince her you are going to get all the professional help you need and work very hard to make sure this never happens again. It's more about making her believe you are doing everything you can because you love her than apologizing for what already happened and can't be changed.

I wish you all the best my friend. God bless you.

[Anonymous]

She was shoving you... and YOU have to make it up to HER?

You're not out of control, you're under control.

Ditch that bitch and find a woman who knows what respect is

[Asker]

I took it way too far.

[Opinion Owner]

Bullshit. You walked away.

When you came back, she shoved you again. That's premeditated assault. You defended yourself against it, and she kept trying to fight.

She's scared that you might kill her if she ever gets you to that point again. Pay attention! SHE DIDN'T SAY THAT SHE WOULD NEVER PUSH YOU TO THAT POINT AGAIN!

She's manipulating you and laying the groundwork to ruin your fucking life. This is HER fault, and it was probably planned. She now knows exactly what buttons to push to send your ass to jail. Get your head screwed on straight and see this for what it is.

[Secret6620]

This broke my heart💔💔💔 I am also a veteran with PTSD and I have abused my man before. I did get help. I was hospitalized for six months. Please get the help you need. Talk to the VA. And use the suicide hotline if you need it. 😢

[Secret6620]

Thanks for mho!

[yasii]

I mean she was kind of asking for it to be honest. Yes it was definetly to much but she's at fault too

[Logorithim]

Therapy is the best step you can take to show her you are serious. Plan a fun acitivity with her and buy her a small present as well.

[Clowr]

Thats basicly the only thing you can do. Show her that you try and better your self. Then she know you know your self it was wrong and what to take action for it.

She was wrong too. So I think she should do the same tbh. There is never a reason to hit one another in a relationship.

As I have said before, it is never her vs you. It is you two against the problem. Team effort to find the correct answer that work for all.

[Cavecoleman757]

Best thing is to leave. She shouldn't be hitting you and neither should you. Fuck your PTSD motherfucker.

[Cavecoleman757]

Ahh look ah the butthurt faggots haha

[DollarBillcheapman]

Get therapy both of you. If you both work hard, maybe it can be salvaged. As long as nothing was broken, no concussion, you didn't cut off her air and do permanent damage, just apologize and move on. Neither of you is perfect. If it gets worse, then you gotta leave. Maybe try to warn other guys bout her.

[Celtero]

Just break up with her, it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship if she's pushing and shoving you around.

[Anonymous]

Good on you, dont take that shit off her. Women want equality, then there you go, if she's willing to throw em out, better be ready to take em.

[Anonymous]

This is self defense. If she pushed you against the window first you're justified and she can go fuck herself

[6Death6]

Um you shouldn't apologize it was her fault

[Asker]

I took it 10x further than she did.