Why do I never get approached by guys?

[Anonymous]

So I'm really tired of being single, and I feel powerless because I don't feel like I can do anything about it. People tell me I'm attractive, but guys literally NEVER approach me. Zilch. Nada. People will say things like "Why don't you approach them?" but there are TONS of other girls around me who get approached by men and asked out all the time without having to talk to them first. So there's clearly something wrong with me. If I am really so attractive, why do guys seem to ignore my existence?

[TheOneAndOnlySimon]

I'd say it's probably more a personality/lifestyle thing than an issue with your appearance.

Would you consider yourself to be more of the shy type? Do you spend time being involved with others and generally see yourself an approachable person, or are you more quiet and secluded around these guys?

Most relationships don't just happen off a whim. If a guy likes a girl, and he either has the opportunity to talk to her/spend time with her or at the very least she seems energetic and approachable then they're more likely to go after those girls if they're interested. Guys can be shy too, so there might be someone out there who IS interested in you, but if you're the type of person who mostly keeps to yourself they might take that as a sign that you're not interested or they might have more an issue building than confidence than they would with someone else. Body language and communication is a big factor which can be difficult if you're more along the shy type but ultimately they make the difference.

And there's nothing wrong with a girl approaching a guy as well too- if you're an attractive girl and you make the effort to talk to someone that you think is cute, chances are you'll get a good reaction from them even if ultimately they aren't interested. Confidence, personality, etc. are just as important when it comes to first impressions as looks are.

I'd say just spend time working on yourself as well, doing things that you enjoy, being sociable and meeting new people- and then the guys will take notice of you.

[Passinggas]

I get approached sometimes and I get a lot of flirty bs compliments at work and it is not that I look like a model but I talk to everyone and just keep people laughing. I give compliments and some get returned. When I go out I just talk to anyone around me, it doesn’t matter sex, age, looks, fat, thin, whatever. People see this, women see this, and some come over to talk also. I see so many go out and just sit there like cold cool stones and if I am within talking range I will talk to them but many just don’t get out of their socially frozen state and it is obvious when I look at them. It tends to drive others away.

[LuminousMind]

I feel you. I think I'm not really approached that much because my lack of confidence shows. I feel like everyone's constantly judging every single action I make. I'm trying to work on it. I also do tend to have a bitch face sometimes, but mostly out of nervousness. Maybe you have a lack of confidence in yourself?

[LauraS345]

Yeah, I understand that. Here's the thing, sometimes attractive women/smart/successful women actually NEED to be more assertive with guys. Guys are people, too, and they'd feel much more confident trying to go after someone they thought was "get-able" than someone that WAS a really high value woman.

[lucazafer]

Perhaps they don't think they will meet your standards , in a positive way it means that the right person will soon show up and appreciate you or you need to put yourself out there more, online dating etc

[FirmlyAboveAverage]

You don't have to ask out guys if you're being playful or flirty in a conversation and you're actually attractive you'll get asked out plenty

[LtJackass]

Bitchface probably. But that's something I like about being a guy. If you don't do anything, nothing will happen.

[LuminousMind]

@LtJackass
I was wondering if you wouldn't mind answering some questions of my own? I like your advice! Do you think you can follow me so I could message you?

[outside_Toronto]

It must be something you're saying or doing... or not

[Sweatyotterr]

Most guys don’t just randomly approach girls

[thisguy007]

Hard to tell with out seeing you