Would you date someone who isn't completely over their ex?

[Anonymous]

Would you date someone who isn't completely over their ex?

[Thisgirl1997]

I tried it and it didn't work, he cheated on me with her both physically and on the internet. He even cheated on me with a girl that was engaged to another guy, like she would say “do this and that to your hair” and he would, just to impress her, him and her went and laid in a dark room and i found out they did things, while i was in the house the whole time. So not only was he cheating on me with his ex, he was cheating on me with a girl that was engaged to another man. He made me feel like a 3rd wheel all the time and when i told him i knew about him chatting his ex up on snapchat he lied and said that he never had her on his snapchat at all, but came up to me one day saying his ex cut herself and sent him photos on snapchat. The guy was messed in the head completely, i wouldn't date a guy that has baggage, still contacts their ex or has their ex on social media or isn't over their ex like they claim they are. After he broke up with me, he got back with her 3 hours after. doesn't worry me, they are both fitted for one another 😂

[Anonymous]

Yes I would. I’ve been that person. When I first started my relationship with my current boyfriend I still had feelings for my ex. My ex was my first love and after he dumped me I felt really empty and I was craving any form of affection. When I first met my current boyfriend we started off as friends but we very quickly became friends with benefits. I wasn’t really ready for a relationship but I liked the feeling of having sex with somebody and being touched and being wanted. The more I got to know him the more I realized that I liked him. One day I overheard other girls talking about how they had a crush on him. I realized that I didn’t want anyone else to have him, so I asked him out. I still had feelings for my ex then too. We’ve been together two years now and I’ve never cheated and my feelings for my ex have faded dramatically. I still think of him sometimes but I would never jeopardize my current relationship for my ex. I know what it’s like to be that person, so I can’t really judge other people for that.

[Felinegirl]

Depends. If they still have feelings for their ex and would rather go back if they could, it's a no.

But everyone has baggage at some point. If they just have an ex who they sometimes want to talk about, or if they still have some minor frustration over being hurt in the past, that's okay. I've been hurt in the past, and I like being able to share that with my boyfriend. My ex made me feel insecure and invisible, I had some left over 'not good enough' feelings when I met my current boyfriend even though I was completely over my ex otherwise.

[Anonymous]

No. I already have and he cheated with her even though she was engaged and she had cheated on him 5 times in the past and she wasn't even attractive. Didn't have a good personality either (obviously). I think he was secretly gay though so that's why he holds on to her because she doesn't mind. He once said i'd look hot in a beard and she has a very boyish face.

[Flamdring]

Not anymore. I've dated multiple women who were not over their exes and they ended up hurting me due to their unresolved issues. The biggest problem is that it is very hard to see that a person is not completely over her/his ex during the initial dating phase. Usually it comes out when you are already together. If the person is mature, it may be possible to work everything out together, but I hate to say it, I am not going to try it again. We live only once and I do not want to be someone's punching bag, shoulder for crying or mental coach just because they have unresolved issues they keep dragging with them.

[Anonymous]

Nope

[Mickey9999]

Depends. There are some people that are over the relationship, have fond memories, and are still friends. I think that’s fine. I look at it this way... i have unresolved feelings good and bad regarding my late husband. But he’s still the father of my children and it’s not fair to them to never speak of him again so I would hope my SO would be considerate of that and not jealous of the time he and i had together. Of course he passed away so there’s no chance of physically cheating but it’s the memories that we speak of that hurt our SO’s and can jealousy. Too much reminiscing can be cruel too. So, is anyone ever really over their ex? I truly don’t think so unless it’s been a decade or two and even then possibly not. How many stories have we heard about people going back to their high school reunions and hooking up with an old flame. I don’t think it’s impossible but in most cases I don’t think people completely get over them

[Aethereal]

No, that would make me something of a consolation prize, or rebound. There's also the very real chance that they'll run back to their ex if the opportunity appears. Don't get yourself into situations you know will result in you getting hurt. Never be just an "option".

[nortyyee]

I have and I would. I hope someone would do the same for me. If it ended badly and she is willing to start over with me and give me the chance to prove to her that I am better than her ex (which in most cases I am 🤷🏼‍♂️😜) then I will do my damn best to make her forget she was even with him

[Mazeda]

As someone who still cares and wishes the best for everyone I've been with, because it's never ended on bad terms, yes. But those feelings need to be of friendship or of loving someone, but not BEING in love with them, as it's an important distinction.

[RussellTheSheets]

Hmmm... that's hard. As someone who went through a very scarring breaking up, I definitely wouldn't want to date me. I think that if you are willing to work with them maybe... but they are still only looking at that one person. I wouldn't want to hurt them or be hurt by dating someone like me

[Browneye57]

If you truly loved someone you never get over them. EVER.
And while old memories are replaced by new ones, the old ones don't just somehow disappear.
So quit holding this over people and let them deal with their issues their way - mind your own fucking business.

[cherryqueen01]

You can care for someone still, but be over them as in knowing you wouldn't want them back... But that's not what the question asks.

[Browneye57]

@cherryqueen01 - So, it's a trick question?
Doesn't even appear to BE your question.

[cherryqueen01]

Personally I interpret "not over" someone as wanting them back and taking them back without a doubt if they came back for you. Just because you will always care for, or love, someone doesn't necessarily mean you want them back and that means you're still over them. I'm pretty sure no one still loves every single one of their exes as in taking any of them back if possible.
But yeah I agree with your statement. I think in a way love for someone never fades entirely unless they were truly horrible to you.

[Browneye57]

@cherryqueen01 - Personally... I don't. :)
Since the question is by a pink-anon I have to assume she's judging some guy that was heartbroken by some dumb bitch. And the way she's going about it is a sure fail from the get-go. I would tell her to piss up a rope.

[Spiritwander]

No. I'd have more respect for myself, my ex, and my current interest than that. If I still had "a holdout" for an ex, I'd figure out how to get closure for reals before steppin to the new heartbeat symphony as it picks up pace

[lightbulb27]

It's a bad idea. I might hang out or talk a bit, but I wouldn't get emotionally involved. I actually question hanging out and talking unless it's over.

I had this scenario recently... I backed away. I've done this before and it was a mistake. I

[Vick2727]

By not being selfish. Falling in love. Yeah your eye is going to wonder every now, and then doesn’t mean you should check them out in a sexual way. One bad argument shouldn’t ruin the relationship. Always tell the truth too.

[markscott]

No. They need time to process the grief and loss. Otherwise, they are not fully able to engage in a new relationship, and it tends to leave left over baggage.

[boombapbasterd]

I'd help them work through it. But nah if they mention their name more than once a week, they're mind isn't focused on me it's focused on that other guy.

[AustinMan]

Absolutely not. Stay in touch but until they can think of their ex without sadness/longing, they aren't ready for another relationship.

[Lynzerilee]

If they keep bringing them up, compare us to their past relationship and make zero effort to get over them, then No.

[Channing5000]

That's not ex, that's still in the relationship.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

No that's a can of worms I don't wanna open, they should figure their shit out on their own and then decide do they want the ex or someone knew. None of this "one foot out the bath" crap

[Maryvas]

Well that's not going to be a really healthy relationship

[kinggeorge007]

I have been there. I would rather say no. But as someone else mentioned, it's good to start as a casual relationship and see where it goes. If they are willing to forget their ex, you're good to go.

[victordave]

Yes. The point of this date after realizing that they're not able to get over their ex will be to get them over their ex and get into me... (Emotionally)

[paronomasia]

Probably not. That means that either it's too soon for them or they have unfinished business with their ex.

[lenlenxyz]

Nope never. If I didn't want the guy who's interested in me date me because I haven't moved on yet, then I definitely do not want to date a guy who hasn't moved on from his past relationship either.

[TheKack]

No. That's asking for issues. They can care and be over them. If they have more than a concern for their general welfare, then you should just avoid that.