Would you date someone who isn't completely over their ex?

Question

Thisgirl1997 · Accepted Answer

I tried it and it didn't work, he cheated on me with her both physically and on the internet. He even cheated on me with a girl that was engaged to another guy, like she would say “do this and that to your hair” and he would, just to impress her, him and her went and laid in a dark room and i found out they did things, while i was in the house the whole time. So not only was he cheating on me with his ex, he was cheating on me with a girl that was engaged to another man. He made me feel like a 3rd wheel all the time and when i told him i knew about him chatting his ex up on snapchat he lied and said that he never had her on his snapchat at all, but came up to me one day saying his ex cut herself and sent him photos on snapchat. The guy was messed in the head completely, i wouldn't date a guy that has baggage, still contacts their ex or has their ex on social media or isn't over their ex like they claim they are. After he broke up with me, he got back with her 3 hours after. doesn't worry me, they are both fitted for one another 😂

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes I would. I’ve been that person. When I first started my relationship with my current boyfriend I still had feelings for my ex. My ex was my first love and after he dumped me I felt really empty and I was craving any form of affection. When I first met my current boyfriend we started off as friends but we very quickly became friends with benefits. I wasn’t really ready for a relationship but I liked the feeling of having sex with somebody and being touched and being wanted. The more I got to know him the more I realized that I liked him. One day I overheard other girls talking about how they had a crush on him. I realized that I didn’t want anyone else to have him, so I asked him out. I still had feelings for my ex then too. We’ve been together two years now and I’ve never cheated and my feelings for my ex have faded dramatically. I still think of him sometimes but I would never jeopardize my current relationship for my ex. I know what it’s like to be that person, so I can’t really judge other people for that.

Felinegirl · Accepted Answer

Depends. If they still have feelings for their ex and would rather go back if they could, it's a no.

But everyone has baggage at some point. If they just have an ex who they sometimes want to talk about, or if they still have some minor frustration over being hurt in the past, that's okay. I've been hurt in the past, and I like being able to share that with my boyfriend. My ex made me feel insecure and invisible, I had some left over 'not good enough' feelings when I met my current boyfriend even though I was completely over my ex otherwise.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No. I already have and he cheated with her even though she was engaged and she had cheated on him 5 times in the past and she wasn't even attractive. Didn't have a good personality either (obviously). I think he was secretly gay though so that's why he holds on to her because she doesn't mind. He once said i'd look hot in a beard and she has a very boyish face.

Flamdring · Accepted Answer

Not anymore. I've dated multiple women who were not over their exes and they ended up hurting me due to their unresolved issues. The biggest problem is that it is very hard to see that a person is not completely over her/his ex during the initial dating phase. Usually it comes out when you are already together. If the person is mature, it may be possible to work everything out together, but I hate to say it, I am not going to try it again. We live only once and I do not want to be someone's punching bag, shoulder for crying or mental coach just because they have unresolved issues they keep dragging with them.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Nope

Mickey9999 · Answer

Depends. There are some people that are over the relationship, have fond memories, and are still friends. I think that’s fine. I look at it this way... i have unresolved feelings good and bad regarding my late husband. But he’s still the father of my children and it’s not fair to them to never speak of him again so I would hope my SO would be considerate of that and not jealous of the time he and i had together. Of course he passed away so there’s no chance of physically cheating but it’s the memories that we speak of that hurt our SO’s and can jealousy. Too much reminiscing can be cruel too. So, is anyone ever really over their ex? I truly don’t think so unless it’s been a decade or two and even then possibly not. How many stories have we heard about people going back to their high school reunions and hooking up with an old flame. I don’t think it’s impossible but in most cases I don’t think people completely get over them

Aethereal · Answer

No, that would make me something of a consolation prize, or rebound. There's also the very real chance that they'll run back to their ex if the opportunity appears. Don't get yourself into situations you know will result in you getting hurt. Never be just an "option".

nortyyee · Answer

I have and I would. I hope someone would do the same for me. If it ended badly and she is willing to start over with me and give me the chance to prove to her that I am better than her ex (which in most cases I am 🤷🏼‍♂️😜) then I will do my damn best to make her forget she was even with him

Mazeda · Answer

As someone who still cares and wishes the best for everyone I've been with, because it's never ended on bad terms, yes. But those feelings need to be of friendship or of loving someone, but not BEING in love with them, as it's an important distinction.

RussellTheSheets · Answer

Hmmm... that's hard. As someone who went through a very scarring breaking up, I definitely wouldn't want to date me. I think that if you are willing to work with them maybe... but they are still only looking at that one person. I wouldn't want to hurt them or be hurt by dating someone like me

Browneye57 · Answer

If you truly loved someone you never get over them. EVER.
And while old memories are replaced by new ones, the old ones don't just somehow disappear.
So quit holding this over people and let them deal with their issues their way - mind your own fucking business.

Spiritwander · Answer

No. I'd have more respect for myself, my ex, and my current interest than that. If I still had "a holdout" for an ex, I'd figure out how to get closure for reals before steppin to the new heartbeat symphony as it picks up pace

lightbulb27 · Answer

It's a bad idea. I might hang out or talk a bit, but I wouldn't get emotionally involved. I actually question hanging out and talking unless it's over.

I had this scenario recently... I backed away. I've done this before and it was a mistake. I

Vick2727 · Answer

By not being selfish. Falling in love. Yeah your eye is going to wonder every now, and then doesn’t mean you should check them out in a sexual way. One bad argument shouldn’t ruin the relationship. Always tell the truth too.

markscott · Answer

No. They need time to process the grief and loss. Otherwise, they are not fully able to engage in a new relationship, and it tends to leave left over baggage.

boombapbasterd · Answer

I'd help them work through it. But nah if they mention their name more than once a week, they're mind isn't focused on me it's focused on that other guy.

AustinMan · Answer

Absolutely not. Stay in touch but until they can think of their ex without sadness/longing, they aren't ready for another relationship.

Lynzerilee · Answer

If they keep bringing them up, compare us to their past relationship and make zero effort to get over them, then No.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

No that's a can of worms I don't wanna open, they should figure their shit out on their own and then decide do they want the ex or someone knew. None of this "one foot out the bath" crap

Maryvas · Answer

Well that's not going to be a really healthy relationship

kinggeorge007 · Answer

I have been there. I would rather say no. But as someone else mentioned, it's good to start as a casual relationship and see where it goes. If they are willing to forget their ex, you're good to go.

victordave · Answer

Yes. The point of this date after realizing that they're not able to get over their ex will be to get them over their ex and get into me... (Emotionally)

paronomasia · Answer

Probably not. That means that either it's too soon for them or they have unfinished business with their ex.

lenlenxyz · Answer

Nope never. If I didn't want the guy who's interested in me date me because I haven't moved on yet, then I definitely do not want to date a guy who hasn't moved on from his past relationship either.

TheKack · Answer

No. That's asking for issues. They can care and be over them. If they have more than a concern for their general welfare, then you should just avoid that.

TheRealTayler · Answer

No. Because a piece of their heart belongs to someone else and they are not able to give their whole self to you.

Katebfun · Answer

Nope. I deserve thier undivided attention and if a man I'd not ready to have a future with me then its bye boy.

morimeme1 · Answer

Nope, I don't date if one of us is not fully committed.

Channing5000 · Answer

Yep. I will cause her to forget about him. Gotta have some confidence in yourself and go full speed ahead to take her attention off the loser.

CapnHawk · Answer

Not interested at all. Cut the cord, for crying out loud.

Samhanks · Answer

If i really like the person and she likes me, there is no reason why she would not date. And with this newfound happy relationship it becomes easier to slowly forget the ex. Time heals everything !

tonicandgin · Answer

Sure. We can be rebound pals with the understanding of the rule "no jealousy"

jjsyke · Answer

Yeah, been the person not over their ex. Still liked the girl i was dating but the ex bothered me

Christopherthrob · Answer

Hell no your just asking for it. Heart brake hotel for real unless you’re a gambling gambler then good luck

Adam1978 · Answer

Yes but I would have to go slow both for my sake and hers.

GraveDoll · Answer

No. Noting worse than being a filler for an old cavity  so to speak.

brathwaitereginald74 · Answer

It's a waste of of my time even thinking about it, so the answer is no.

MrGrey240 · Answer

Not at all. The moment I find iht someone isn't over their ex, I'm gone.

biffthewonderdog · Answer

Yes loyalty of caring about a person is no shame

Pinay_ako · Answer

Sorry, I am no rebound.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

No way. Clean up your house before you invite someone in it.

TheRealNatalie · Answer

Not at all i was talking to a guy and he said he want to be my boyfriend but he got back with his ex. And he still text me sexual stuff even dick pics while he was with her. So hell no I'm not taking a chance of getting hurt again.

maxambit · Answer

If they aren't over there ex it almost certainly would be a fling or a short term rebound but yes.

megaman242 · Answer

I would consider it a casual relationship in the beginning. After a given time if I feel like they still are not over him, I would just end it.

fmycsmith · Answer

No, it will always lead to complications such as unfair comparison to the other person. It can really make something g nice into something tragic.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

Sure. As long as she's spreading her legs for me I couldnt care less what she's thinking about, I'm not planning any great future for us anyway. She's never your girl, it's just your turn.

riot98 · Answer

No not really. Because during almost half the time you've spent wif them, they're still thinking about their ex then which is simply not doing justice to the one they're with at that point in time..

aaronbw · Answer

Nope. Its not really dating if they aren't invested in you

nicks939s · Answer

No because there is still a chance that they go back to them

Dat1Nigah · Answer

Yeah, but not so sudden. I would rather let them bring up a relationship between us when they were ready. No pressure

Anonymous · Answer

If I wanted to hurt myself, then I would say totally, but I do have some respect for myself. So I would say no

Anonymous · Answer

No, been there she decided to go back to him after some time. So I was just left without even sorry...

jasco · Answer

I have and sometimes it work out and sometimes it didn't

Maggsxo · Answer

No, what the point if their full attention isn't on me. ? It’s about me boo! Sorry not sorry!

lcafer · Answer

Try it and find out how wish washy and pathetic they are. And always remember that you are a side dish

Bismarck_96 · Answer

No that’s a completely turn off my ex kept pictures of her ex still I had no choice but to leave

Askawayask · Answer

No, if she is not over the ex i will always worry about her leaving me for the ex

Mother_of_All · Answer

No because there is a big chance that he would cheat on me or even go back to her

dragoblack · Answer

No, because it means I'm a pallet cleanser to make her forget about her ex which won't happen

MrsDahmer · Answer

I would but most people shouldn't for the sake of their own mental health.

Firthy21 · Answer

Nope, I mistakenly ended up in this position where it was rather awkward being there while they were crying over missing their ex

ANNASALLYLAY · Answer

I'd never do such stupid thing If you feel as second hand person then crave second hand emotions

akajoker7 · Answer

Yeah... And reason is cause when you truly love someone you can't bring yourself to hate that person

UnknownToucan · Answer

It's complicated. Sometimes you can't help what the heart wants

halfsen · Answer

Yes, actually, because I they could be great partners too

Would you date someone who isn't completely over their ex?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Would you date someone who is still not over what happened with their ex?

Would you date someone who isn't completely over their ex?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Would you date someone who is still not over what happened with their ex?

We're glad to see you liked this post.