Ladies: what attracted you to your "rebound" guy?

[madness483]

So I get approached by quite a few women in bars/clubs. Nearly all of them ALWAYS tell me they just got out of a serious relationship.

Ladies, have you ever had a rebound guy?

For those who have, what initially attracted you to your rebound guy?

And is there any chance that a rebound guy can be long-term relationship material?

I don't understand why these completely random women always approach me right after a serious relationship. I like to pursue some of these women, but I feel like it could turn out poorly for me if I fall for any one of them...

What's the deal?

[helpingjessie]

they are looking for comfort and stability. they don't want a real relationship with you, they just need someone to fill the void to realize they only THOUGHT they were into you. I'm not trying to be degrading, NONE of this is because of you, its THEIR problem. you can let them talk it out with you and things like that but don't get emotionally attached.

i did this once to a guy without even knowing it and after we broke up I finally realized what happened and I felt so guilty afterward. knowing what really happened I would never do it again.

to answer your question, the reason they are attracted to you is because you seem like a very nice guy. they also subconciously will find traits in you similar/polar to the guy they separated with. depending on the cause of the separation, she will find either of those traits attractive.

WARNING: she most likely will find you attractive, not because you are a good guy but because they see the traits in you that have to do with the good parts of her ex. and could possibly continue their previous relationship they had with the first guy, with you. thus, falling in love with her ex all over again instead of thinking she's falling in love with you.

in the end, it does not turn out pretty so please don't think it is different with you or whoever the woman may be. if she is at a bar and drinking alone, she's obviously stressed about something and when she's talking to you about it then she's definately not over the ex.

[smilesgirl]

I'm in a similar situation, just got out of a L-O-N-G relationship, but already fell hard for someone new...I have wondered if he's also concerned about being "the rebound" guy , but I don't necessarily believe all the stigma or whatever you wanna call it...maebe the girl is more emotionally sensitive after a relationship? & maebe a lot of them have emotional issues they still need to deal with from the dissolution of the previous relationship--& it ends up effecting the new one--- I dunno...since women are different, they could have lots of different reasons for being drawn to you on "the rebound"--could be they just want hot strange sex, or maebe you seem like a truly good guy & they feel safe with you...I don't recommend, however, rushing into a serious relationship with someone after a recent breakup...that way, hopefuly, if it eventually does go there you can feel more confident it can/will last. :)

[me-girl]

Personally I think that a lot of the time the rebound guy displays either similar characteristics

(if you don't hate your ex) or completely the opposite characteristics (if you do hate your ex).

Therefore it could work out with a rebound guy if every relationship they've had previously

has been with one type of guy and they really should be with the complete opposite.

Likewise if they have been with the right type of guy but he did something

Stupid like leave them for another girl and she sees the good parts of her ex in you then

It could work out too.



But have you thought that maybe the reason all these women talk to you is because you're really hot :)

[Anonymous]

I've had bad luck with dating and the two I felt closest to were both on the rebound and had a lot in common with me. The first one I was super naive about what a rebound was, the 2nd time I found out late she was on the rebound, was cautious and still managed to get fucked over pretty bad.

Not worth it. Plus when you date someone on the rebound, you may end up in their shoes in the sense that you're now using someone to get over the person who used you.

[Dutchie1987]

I fell for my rebound guy because he was fun, a charmer and cute. They kind of guy that would be dating material if he were maybe older, but now still in his partying period of his life :) If he would have shown me he could be mature as well, I'd totally consider a long term relationship. But he def was too young for that :) I can only speak for myself, but I don't kiss/hook-up with guys that I don't really like in the first place, even if my intentions aren't to marry the guy.

[diamond3]

i don't believe in rebounds.. it is not fair to the other person for you to play with their emothions

[kiss_me_Kate]

nothing,

convienence