Alright ladies and gentlemen. Let's start a conversation. Im just asking out of general curiosity. I am an addict now recovered for nearly a year. I ask this because I want an honest opinion if you could date someone that was once addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Could you be with someone knowing that you could never party with them or even have a beer with them? No drunken bar crawls or drunken karaoke. No smoking weed. No nothing. ( Sobriety means sober from everything) I'm so curious.
ALSO: (if relevant) have you dated anyone that was/is an addict and what happened? ALSO: where my brothers and sisters at on here that tryna live sober?
Yes. I could. As long as the are better now
No. I couldn't. Too much baggage.
I would try it
Strong no. Just. No.
Other/results (if you pick me. Please elaborate)
I have experience with this.
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
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Recovery: would you date someone in recovery from drug or alcohol addiction?
I am a recovering addict. I have two years behind me now and I have to say I would date a recovering addict. But I also know from experience that the worse thing an addict can do is to start dating or get into a serious relationship while in the beginning of their journey. Addicts are thought this from day on. Starting a relationship while in recovery is one of the , most common things that lead us back into using, it may be the stress of a relationship or the failure of one but odds are it will lead you to using again. I know it's tough to be alone while your trying to learn to live again but I also know it's a fast pass back to your drug of choice. Wait till your stable and confident in your recovery
I didn't post this because I was interested in dating. I dont date for that very reason. I have enough friends that my life is very fulfilling. I posted this just out of curiosity what the rest of the world thought and also to see who else on here is in recovery. I was interested in seeing the stigmas on addicts, and what normal people thought. Very interesting so far.
I mean, if they are trying, i dont see why not. I consider myself an alcoholic... a functioning alcoholic, which is probably the worst kind there is. I've been trying on and off for quite a few years to stop functioning off it, not stop drinking, but stop using it. So i know how difficult it is especially if you have to go it Completely Alone. While still facing the same issues that started the drinking in the first place. Now if someone i was dating was trying to do the same... we could be each others rock and eventually overcome it.
Yea... i hear about all these "blessings".. those never happen to me. I guess because im a hardcore recluse/hermit/introvert naturally or at least became that way. My motto for the most part, is "i dont want to (insert any act/activity/event)" But im the life of it all after a little sippy. so see.. like i said, the worst kind. the good thing though is that i dont do anything else.
I was like that too before I got clean. I lived very solitary because I never fit in anywhere except in bars. In case you haven't noticed. Bar friends aren't all that reliable or fulfilling. Now I have more friends than I know what to do with. Lol. But I get where your coming from. My strive to fit in is mainly what lead me down such a dark path all along.
My brother was a heroin addict after living through it I'd be hesitant not because I don't believe people can study sober just because of my emotional baggage. I wouldn't date anyone that hasn't been sober for few years. I've seen to many relapses in the first couple years. As for having a drink people vary on their on opinions on that. If they were a former acholoic I'd say no I wasn't comfortable. Past that I guess it would on a person by person basis. In general though because of my history I'd be super cautious.
Yeah we unfortunately are no longer close. He's sober which I'm glad for but we never resolved the anger from the stunts he pulled. From stealing money to throwing a party while I was asleep upstairs and I was nearly raped.
Thanks yeah it sucked. He really did sacrifice everyone and everything in his life for his addiction. It was incredibly painful to go through as a family.
My boyfriend was in recovery. No longer sober. Our conversation was pretty much to each their own, and do what's best for you responsibly. He's well aware I ain't his mother or therapist or any of those things, nor am I willing to forgo my life or family for him if he drowns. I won't ride another roller coaster with an addict. Sometimes we do dumb shit when we're young or go through tough phases in life.. as long as we're working towards the best version of ourselves things should pan out alright.
This is a difficult subject, honestly I dated a hard drug addict for 4 years, almost had a kid with them and stayed with them through multiple stints through rehab and the hospital and I wouldn't do it again. Too emotionally draining if the person doesn't truly want to get better BUT, that being said. I have friends who were serious drug addicts and when they chose to get sober, they actually stuck to it. So I guess it really depends on the person, you can always tell when someone is actually trying to get better or in a vicious cycle
Five to ten years "sober," if we had a lot in common, and I felt she wasn't likely to relapse, (like her triggers either weren't there any more, or she had learned to deal with them in a constructive way), I could see dating a woman who once had something going on. But someone who has a few months to a year... I think it's still too new for me, and the changes are too new to know if they'd last. Plenty of people relapse after a few months... or after a year. Probably too fresh for me, and I don't want potential stress of a relationship to get her going back.
Alcoholics and heroin addicted (even if dry or in therapy) aren't people I can trust. I don't want love someone when I have to build a wall inside me to preserve myself. I don't want to be a part of their game of self-victimization and displacement of the responsibility on others inclusive me. Those people have very opportunistic and egoistic personalities, with the tendency to abuse others emotionally and financially. Every addiction is self-abuse in higher or lesser extent, but for alcoholics and junkies exists nothing else as their self-satisfaction even if they know they are hurting others. It doesn't matter they don't do that anymore, there is no other option than to say thank you and to go away.
Your still young in this thing. You'll find when your sobriety grows up the your the one that has to be able to go out with your friends to a restaurant, bar, pick Nick, family gatherings pepole are partaking. There not the. Ones that need too chance there lives your the one with the addiction you get five years under you belt things will change then ten then twenty. Life becomes normal again there's just. A few thing you should do if you want to keep doing the right things. Any way good luck hang in there it gets better. It even gets normal.
I actually love my life right now. As I've stated. I dont date but I asked this out of curiosity from other people. Interesting responses so far. Thanks for the advice and wisdom. ❤
It depends on how long they were an addict/alcoholic, and how long it's been since they were clean. I don't care for their past, as long as it's really in the past. If it's only been a year, I would consider that kinda borderline.
I've done a lot of drugs and drank a lot myself. After I quit, I was with someone else who was still heavy into it. I won't go through that again. I have to be convinced they've really quit. If they ever relapse, they need to quit again real darn fast. Otherwise I'll wish them well, but I won't be a part of it.
I have story. My cousin was a drug addict first used weed than she got on harder drugs. She took pain pills and drank narcotic cough syrup , she said , that is how she got high.. She shot up any where she could use to get high.. She had a doctor as a boyfriend who gave her own prescription pad and she wrote medications ( xanax , narcotics etc ) Yes my cousin had a life to this day she's still on methadone. So for me to date a girl who was a former addict yes i could give it try. I can't judge her cause she was a former addict. My cousins , daughter is off of alcohol and was addicted to it for several years.. My Father was addicted to alcohol but i think he came clean he is age 78 my late Mom never had addiction. But i believe everyone deserves a chance.
No. I rarely drink any alcohol myself, so that wouldn't be a problem, but after my experience with my last girlfriend, I'm not willing to date anyone dealing with serious problems. If she had licked the problem already, yes.
Gotchu. Sometimes they go hand and hand. I dont know about mental health issues too much other than my battle with addiction. A lot of my friends are co occurring and struggle with both mental health and addiction and luckily I am just an ex junkie. Thanks for the input.
1. Absolutely. My girlfriend smokes and does occasional hits of acid and stuff of that sort. She used to be an alcoholic and is around a year or so sober. 2. Yeah. I’m an isolationist, I have no interest in parties or bar hopping. If I feel the need to drink, I’ll do so on my own. 3. Not counting my girlfriend, a former lover of mine was briefly addicted to morphine and my ex boyfriend was/is an alcoholic.
Yes, people are more complicated than an issue they have.
I have known a lot of people who suffer from issues similar and exactly this and there is always more to it than meets the eye.
We all have our issues! At least we would actually know what one of yours is. It is not hard to be supportive and it is not hard to be there for someone when times get rough. That is kind if what relationships are like. It is not always sunshine and rainbows. So far as baggage goes I think that is ealisy a carry on!
I probably wouldn't as I believe for a happy long lasting relationships to exist then both sides have to be happy in life and have their own lifes and I feel in most cases that partner would see me as "ill be happy with him" kinds thing even tho you should be happy by yourself beforehand :) I've personally never taken any substances of any kind nor intend to so its hard for me to understand that kinda shit. Exception would be if they do have a successful happy life and theyre trying their absolute best to battle it.
Hell yes. And I’d wait until I had got them liking me and needing the sex on the regular, and then told them... let’s test your asshole tendencies about stereotypes. Cause id guarantee, I would change it for them.
It depends. Alcohol? Yes. Drugs? No. I could try and date a man who is dependent on alcohol. It reminds me of a very sad story of a 30 something year old man who told me that he was able to drink a 30 pack in 24 hours easy. His addiction started when he was 21 and he lost 10 years of his life to it. So a recovering alcoholic I can deal with.
I will not deal with any former drug addicts though.
Interesting that you say no to former drug addicts. One question... If you were talking to someone for awhile. A potential love interest, And you liked the person. But later found out that they used to be addicted to some form of illegal drugs. But they have been clean for awhile. Would you stop talking them? Or continue? I'm just curious. Also, thank you for the support. You are very sweet.
You're welcome! That would still be a no. I can't do former or current drug addicts. I have a brother that is going through it so I don't want to have to deal with what I've seen him do to others if the man falls off the wagon.
Assuming I'm available to date someone, I might just stick around to help a recovering addict or alcoholic without misleading him to think that there are any romantic hopes between us. He can rely on me, a friend, to help him through difficult times. Nothing more.
There’s a guy who I met online (a Christian dating site to be exact lol) he was super nice and sweet. Then one day he sent me a long ass text telling me how he was an addict for x amount of years and he was on his journey to getting clean and that he spent like 12 years locked up. I applauded him for wanting to do better for himself, but unfortunately, that is an excessive amount of baggage I am not willing to be apart of. It just freaks me out for some reason.
Yeah I’m happily sober 🙂 drugs and alcohol got boring and tiring. Also my ex was a coke addict and that relationship made me realize life would be better sober and away from her lol 💚
I am also a recovered addict (cocaine and pills (prescription and uppers, ecstasy and downers) so I would be fine with dating someone in rehab/recovery as long as they were better now. I do still drink alcohol occasionally but never get drunk
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