He cancelled our first date last minute, should I give him another chance?

Question

I’ve been talking to this guy for a few weeks and we set a first date for tonight about a week ago. The last few days he’s been acting differently and taking days to respond to my texts.

This morning (the day of the date) I get a long message responding to my previous text and in between ‘I’m sorry please don’t hate me, I’m really sorry something came up and I can’t make tonight. Can you please do any days next weekend?’ ... so no explanation really..

I sent a response saying I couldn’t do the next weekend and to let me know what other days he can do. He has messaged since saying ‘apologies again, I feel really bad now, can you do a day during the week?’

Now I don’t know what to think or do! This combined with his different behaviour over the last week has confused me. We’ve never met and this was meant to be our first meeting/ date!!
Some advice /opinions would really help...

Bella9191 · Accepted Answer

Um..
Firstly, he doesn’t owe you an explanation, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, it’s a first date. Your not best friends and your not his girlfriend. So the fact that he isn’t giving an explanation is not a bad thing. It’s a sign he has self confidence actually and doesn’t need to explain himself to a person who he has only been talking to for a few weeks. No one owes any sort of explanation to someone they have known for that’s length of time.
Secondly, he has made SEVERAL attempts to reschedule with you. If you keep trying to make him feel bad and almost beg to see you again he is never going to want to make a plan with you again because if he can’t come you are going to make a big deal of it. The fact he is trying to see you again really bad shows he is Interested in you. Something probably did come up, maybe with someone he has known for years and sorry girl but that takes priority over someone he has known for three weeks.
So forgive him, stop making him feel bad, and say sure no problem let’s do bla day, and put a smiley face, xx

jazminburchell03 · Accepted Answer

This is real life things come up. If it's personal he doesn't have to explain anything unless he wants to seeing as this is the first date he might not know you well enough. Everyone deserves a second chance plus him attempting to reschedule comes across authentic to me. Reschedule and don't ride him about it if he feels like telling you what happened let him do so of his own free will. Don't jump to conclusions too fast he may be going through a loss or anything. If you're still interested then be interested. Best of luck

Magicstar · Accepted Answer

Different behavior usually indicates (for me at least) something has changed in them, and for "me" to choose again.. the short version of this is "move on, next" . If they canceled this early, especially without explaination, like death of parent, it's a control issue. They may not consciously know they are commiting this behavior, so. Move one. You have more value than having to reschedule your life for someone who is changing unexplainably. You are no one's number two.

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

Did you know that a person is 100% more likely to screw up a first impression if it's their first time trying to make it?

He probably feels like shit. Maybe he had a crazy friend with a bad problem, or a test for school. Or a career opportunity. I doubt someone would cancel last minute to just sit at home and eat on the couch.

Either way, it's worth the risk

jennifer_bloom · Answer

My cousin told me her friend was always dating very rich guys and the guys would only date her during the weekdays cause they wanted to save their weekends for other girls. Get a guy to meet you on the most important days of the week - a Friday or Saturday or Sunday - if he can only meet you at odd times - its possible he has other girls he's juggling.

Account · Answer

LOL. Definitely not. Don't be silly

Kobe8201 · Answer

Give him another chance. Something came up; and he doesn't trust you enough to tell you what it is, since y'all aren't dating, or have not met yet. Something really personal or a family relation came up. Most likely, he'll tell you on y'all's next date if you give him another chance.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

I'd hope to think that he works on weekends. That should have been easy to say without feeling guilty at all but he didn't explain why he cancelled. Therefore, I'd suspect he stood you up because of selfish reasons. If I were you, I'd want an explanation for the cancellation. Until I get that, another chance will be far from my mind.

rgb008 · Answer

I wouldn't, unless he's in the hospital or someone died lol.
I think its very inconsiderate to do that on the day of the date.
If he had cold feet, he could have cancelled days before.
And if you let this happen, he will learn he can cancel last minute on you often and you'll let it happen. AND you haven't even met yet.
Not worth it, in my opinion.

Anonymous · Answer

1). Calling you the morning of the day you are going on an evening date isn’t last minute. Disappointing maybe last minute no

2) he doesn’t really owe you an explanation other than what he gave you. He contacted you well before the date and offered another time

3). He sounds like he may be busy but whether or not that’s enough of an issue fir you to not go one one first date is up to you.

chantrllr · Answer

Sometimes things come up, don’t be harsh. We all deserve a second chance, who knows why he canceled the first date could be something personal or embarrassing. But come on it’s not like he ran over your cat, I’d give the bloke a chance 😂

nachosaresexy · Answer

I can understand why you'd be frustrated but I think you should definitely give it another chance. What type of date activity are you guys planning on?

HeavyRoller · Answer

This means that someone he thought he would like better came up and he wanted to go out with her first. Then that fell through and he wants to pull you off the bench. Otherwise he would have explained what came up. in my opinion.

sudheer33 · Answer

No buddy. He is not completely interested to meet u. May he just with another women when u planned for a date. Or else he just not interested or in mood at that time. So he didn't show up. I hope u better not give another chance. All d best

HarrisSteve · Answer

If the reason for canceling was genuine then yes. Why should he give you more importance when its only a first date and otherwise there was an urgent matter that required his attention

cavmanier · Answer

No I don't think I would. It sounds like he cancelled plans with you for another person.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I'd give him one more chance I mean sometimes stuff does come up that has to make you cancel plans, that's just part of life. I've had to do that plenty of times with work unexpectedly or something else may happen.

Screenwriter · Answer

Another chance seems fair since you've never met and have no idea what's going on with him. Try to meet during the week and see if you have a good date and enjoy each other.

spartan55 · Answer

Don't waste any more time on him, you will only be disappointed if you do. He broke my cancel rule that would have been it for me. See ya.

VIVANT · Answer

I’d give him a chance. Even if you have doubts.. at least if you give it one more Chechen, you will know for sure.

COMMODOREII · Answer

Without knowing what happened i would give them at least one more chance. Life has a way to change our plans for us and hopefully he will tell you what happened on the second date.

xyz94 · Answer

No I wouldn't, not unless he's promised to take you on a super extravagant date and pay for it all, to prove he's interested. Otherwise he's probably just a player.

markscott · Answer

With the overall context of what you said, I think I'd just forget him.

slatyb · Answer

Things do come up You don't know enough to make a decision. Make a new date.

He cancelled our first date last minute, should I give him another chance?

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