Once a player, always a player. True or not?

Question

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

I feel like a lot of sayings are sayings because they sound catchy, not because they’re necessarily true. This would be one of them.

I played the field through the better part of my 20s. I don’t know if was a “player” in the sinister sense of the word, I wasn’t duping any girls and lying to them. I was honest about not looking to be tied down at that point in my life. I wanted to experience life and women and all that, because I knew it’s not something you can always go back and decide to do later in life. The time was then. Then I met one I wanted to stick with, and we’re still going 12, pushing 13 years later. She’s been very sick the last few years, and she’s basically sexually unavailable. She even says she would understand if I hooked up with other people, even said I could full-on see other people until she was better, she just wouldn’t want to know about it. But I’m not out there pursuing any of that, even though I have license to be a player again if I wanted to, and that’s really all I could be to another woman at this point. But that just seems like more trouble than it’s worth. I had my time in the sun, I’m letting the young guys run wild now, it’s their time now. Not to mention the women my age these days are more often than not unavailable, or if they are, chances are they’re undesirable to me, not because of age so much, but they’ve just let themselves go. So that leaves me with younger women, and I remember thinking even 30 was ANCIENT when I was in my 20s, so I’m guessing most of the young and most widely available women probably aren’t looking for a guy my age, even though I’m usually guessed to be much younger. Eventually they’d ask and I wouldn’t lie about it, and I figure the ride would come to a stop at that point anyway😂 So those days are probably behind me, haha. And I’m good with that, I was a bad motherfucker in my day, and I can just live off that old glory for the rest of my life lmao.

Thatsamazing · Accepted Answer

Other-- the term "player" is fucking dumb and people need to stop using it, since it doesn't mean anything. If a guy wants to fuck a girl, and she wants to get fucked by him, then cool. If he doesn't, or she doesn't, then don't do it. Cool.

*After the fact,* he does not like owe her, or something, with a relationship or "I love you" or anything like that. She, as a person in charge of her own body making her own decisions with it, chose to have sex with him. If she doesn't like what happens regarding his attitude AFTER that, then, okay-- don't have sex with him again or keep talking to him, if she doesn't want to. This is really, REALLY simple. Guys can only be "players" if girls can be sluts.

MzZeplyn · Accepted Answer

I believe that a guys maturity, sexual experience level, andnpast relationships all have a part to Play in whether or not he will continue his player Ways. Some men cheat because they get a rush out of it, some because they are terrified of commitment, some because they've been hurt by a heartless using and manipulative woman in their Past. In all of these things do play in to whether or not a man will choose to be faithful in a new relationship or a renewed relationship. But we have to realize that cheating is not just the fault of the one performing the action, sometimes we as women enable such behavior because we feel as though maybe we deserve it or maybe we won't ever be able to find someone who satisfies us the way that the cheater does whether that Be either emotionally or sexually. But we are still left with the question is he going to continue? Now I am in no way saying to lay down and allow someone who shows consistently that they really don't care about How their actions hurt you and destroy your world, But what I am saying is that if there is a genuine remorse and a genuine desire to change and to be a better man, Then you are just as responsible for the relationship at that point as he is. So quit throwing his past in his face, all that does is show him you still want to live there, so he will continue to chest, believing in a twisted fashion, that this is what you want. I'm not saying forget the past, but somehow learn to forgive and make a real honest effort to move on and grow WITH him. If the both of you truly desire the continuation of the relationship, then it's on both of you now to make it work.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

I don't have any stats on how often players stay players or when or if they retire. I'd THINK being a player is a young man's game. He's trying to feed his ego. Mature guys who know who they are and what they're good at, don't need to have their egos stoked. I think it's possible for a player to retire. I'd think being a player is ultimately exhausting. Hard to keep all those balls up in the air. But if you've run into a current player, I wouldn't wait around for change. Find someone who isn't one.

AbleLearner · Answer

You may as well assume that to be the case, because human beings rarely experience true "Moral Epiphany", even most people who claim to be "Born Again Christians," for example, have likely never experienced true Moral Epiphany: Based on the material evidence in Western Civilization, I would say almost none of them ever have had such an experience.

So you may as well make the assumption that a Player will never change, nor is any other type of man (or woman) ever likely to change in any substantive way. If they had multiple sex partners before they got married, then they are highly likely to have multiple sex partners after they get married too... which is one reason why I don't believe any moral person should practice premarital sex.

VikingDude · Answer

Between 25-35 I was ravenous. At one point I was with 4 different girls on the same day and this would happen regularly. I thought I found my ideal lady and vowed that I wouldn't cheat on her. I got bored or chasing girls. And now I'm single again I'm still attractive and have a great body for my age but then that's all girls seem to see these days... My age !!!

DWornock · Answer

Typically a player is a very good looking guy (or maybe girl) that likes to party and is not ready to settle down. However, after a few years the party life can get old and become tiresome. Then he or she might be ready to settle down with someone that is dependable and always there for him which can be better and more satisfying than expending the time, money, and effort required to chase after meaningless brief relationships.

spartan55 · Answer

I was one in my teens and twenties and I certainly am not one now. It's called growing up.

loveslongnails · Answer

There are exceptions, but you got the numbers correct I believe.. 10 out of 100 players will stop playing when they "find THE ONE" or they just get tired of it, or they become too old and unattractive.

Aquariusgangsht · Answer

I just think a player would settle down for the right one and if he’s playing you then you’ve simply got your answer.

OddBeMe · Answer

Statisctallh there are always exceptions but yes, I think “playas” will always be playin. It’s probably an addiction like drugs and alcohol. Great movie with Fassbender. Can’t remember the title...

sonofsam · Answer

I would say if you become/or still am a player while becoming an adult it's harder to stop but if you change your mindset it could possibly change in my opinion

humanearth · Answer

Not always. Some do want to settle down when they reach a certain age. Fear of dying alone I call it

JDB1997 · Answer

There are cases where people can and do change but old habits die hard

TheFlak38 · Answer

Yes. Also once a whore always a whore. Gods good grace cannot make you a virgin again to marry a high value man.

broncobryan · Answer

I think it depends on the women we meet along the way. My wife and I started off as friends with benefits. But she's my one and only now.

Alex_988_2 · Answer

Umm yeah they change... but only when they find her intelligent enough, as most girls are not really rational so they don't catch real feelings

Slim57 · Answer

No most people eventually grow out of being a player or a whore just like they do partying, but there are exceptions of course

Exorcist_Rampage · Answer

Probably true like 95% of the time. Too much to risk them doing it again.

Anonymous · Answer

If they cheated on you, they'll continue cheating on YOU

LordSnuggles · Answer

No. People change throughout their life.

zaharaa · Answer

nah I wouldn't say so

20yearsolder · Answer

Usually yes but some do settle down

Pamina · Answer

Nah, there's always such and such.

CandacePerry · Answer

Yes, in my past experience.

Avicenna · Answer

I think lots if them age out of it.

Keith469 · Answer

I changed as I matured.

ZeussLightningBolt · Answer

False. People can change

Torari · Answer

Nope. People change and their values change.

lsjr16 · Answer

A person can change. their past don’t define them

Jasongurney · Answer

Trick

Once a player, always a player. True or not?

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