She flirts with me yet just wants to be friends?

So there's this girl I like alot, we have been friends for about 3 months now. At first it was great we where just friends but it quickly grew to be more than that, we had half ass talks about liking each other we would hold hands, it never really went past that. We where also seeing a lot of each other. The first 2 months or so we hung out on our off days, we practically gad the same schedule, we texted constantly, an we saw each other 7 days a week. She flirts with me all the time at work and ill flirt back. We recently took a trip to

Al, an after the trip she sent me a long ass message on fb saying she need a break, we needa focus on ourselves more. So we hardly speak for 2 -3 days after that, everything kinda goes back to normal, I talked to her about it, an she basically told me the opposite of what she sent me in the message. She still flirts with me at work just not as much, an she says all she wants is a,friendship. She says she gets crowded easily, I'm thinking we got to close so she backed out. To protect her feelings an emotions I'm guessing, she's never had a boyfriend. Friends in her past have droped an left her. I can understand her getting scard, but why still flirt with me like you want more, but back out when I get to close? An I know she won't admit she's scard. I just don't know, she's amazing. but she givws me all these mixed signals, she holds my hand, when I go to hold hers she pulls hers away. She makes it so obivious she likes me alot... And now we hardly text any, we hang out maybe twice a week, an both our scheduals changed randomly.. I just don't get it.?

I forgot to add I text her goodnight\ morning, she picks an chooses when she replies. Should I stop txting her this?
Flirting isn't the only way she makes it obvious, and I do have a life outside of her lol. I get what ya are saying, thanks for tha advice! Sometimes in friendships emotions just get attached without trying, but I'm not going to let that happen..
The funny part about all this is I've never really had problems with girls, shs came along and was just amazing. I fell for her, then she just up an changed her feelings I'm guessing an it through me for a loop, kinda like a slap in tha face that stuned me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • i think there's 3 conclusions in my own opinion based on my own experiences...

    1. she is afraid you will hurt her the way she's been hurt in past relationships

    2. she isn't ready for commitment and wants to be with a few people at once and play

    Around.. and is possibly putting you on hold or adding you to her mix..

    3. she doesn't know for sure if she feels so strongly about you anymore or has found

    another guy

    • I know its not another guy, but everything else is pretty posible... How is one to figure out which of these it is?

    • hm well if you become really close with her and she feels you're trust worthy she will most likely tell you about how hard past relationships have been on her..and that would go along with not being ready for a commitment too. get close to her you might have to play the friend part first. and best friends CAN become boyfriends so don't let the friend zone thing scare you.. that's only in some cases but I know tons of girls attracted to their good friends.. just too shy to speak up..

    • Thank you. lol I think I feel better bout all this.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • shes probably playing around and likes the attention. she may just have a flirtatious personality. I know I do. I have been known to do some of the very same things. yet you should still ask her about this because you never know

    • Idk.. The distance seems like its helping a lil. I'm just gonna ride through this an quit being her yoyo. I don't even see why I care so much... I should just move on an accept the friendship. I just get all foggy headed, an idk.. Around her.

What Guys Said 1

  • if flirting is "making it so obvious that she likes you" you're wrong and I hate to admit that...girls flirt for many reasons but the numer one reason (IMO and from expierence) is simply for attention. Not every girl that flirts has any intension of hooking up.

    Anyways here is my advice, if you like her then give her the space she has asked for. Don't pester her with texts or calls all the time to see how she is...just every now and then send a text and say "hey". Keep it SHORT AND long stories or any of that crap, unless your in person and you two are hitting it off...but look, you like her, you know what you want, she doesn't know what she wants so now its your turn to protect your emotions. Be a gentlemen, show her you can be friends and you aren't just gonna run away, however if you get real close to her it can be bad, like I said before you want to protect your emotions first - SO if you cannot be friends with her currently then don't be...if she yells at you and says blah blah you need to tell her the truth...that you like her, yet with her mix emotions and not knowing what she wants it pushes you away, not because you like her less but because you're protecting yourself (just as she is with herself right now).

    Hanging out with her is good, just don't see so desperate, don't go telling her how much youve missed her and all that crap, just play it haven't even gotten to college yet, you're gonna want freedom then anyways...think of it this way - a girl wants to be with a guy she can tell everything to, her best friend, someone who she can trust and knows will be, be her best friend, there is obviously more than friends here but I suggest holding yourself off until AFTER college...being friends with her and maybe even hooking up can play a huge benefit. Although it can also leave you in the "friend zone". See if what you are saying is correct with ehr not trusting a lot of people and people constanly leaving her, then be her friend, stay around for the years, let it play out...after college and all those years of being such good friends maybe she'll realize you're the one for her - but if you meet someone else then so be it - if its meant to be you two will be. DO NOT put your live on hold for anyone, especially at such a young age. Just be who you are, if you can't be only friends then you need to tell her that - at least you're being hoenst with her...but if you can deal with it, the both of you potentially seeing other people but always being there for one another then I think you'd be paving a good path for yourself if your information or assumptions are correct

    take your time, it was the turtle that won the race, NOT the rabbit...

    hope this helps, good lucK!

    • as for your update...yes stop being so available...have a life outside of her...youre making yourself readily available...girls like a challenge, not a guy who is going to throw themselves at them every second...i know you're trying to be a nice guy, but until you get her, nice guys finish last

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