I dealt with someone who wanted to move super fast.. then actually another person after that.. they were both narcissistic sociopathic liars... very manipulating... soooo sweet in the beginning then things became too suffocating... but this guy you are seeing may not be the case.. when some people are single they know what they want when they find it. Maybe he just feels like he found a keeper. If you like this guy, My suggestion would be to say yes to exclusivity. If he begins to demand too much of your time or you see yourself giving more emotionally and physically.. then just part ways. A person true character ALWAYs comes out... with narcissistic people, when u see glimpse into their true personality that's when u start to see the bad they've been hiding... narcissistic sociopathic people dont like when people dont see them as this bundle of perfection n it's almost like you see a total opposite side of who they showed u before.. main thing is, if it goes bad or u see sure red flags-dont ignore them! Be strong n walk away!
No? If you feel that you're not ready to date then why you're dating? 3 weeks is not that you want to make a decision whether or not if your there is about a person. He may be ready, but if you're not ready then just let him know that and take your time. When men are certain about what they want, they tend to not turn back from their choices. They usually think long and hard about what they want. Trust me when I say, you would know a person whose only rushing if it's in 1 day. And it's very rare to know right away who you going to be with.
I think that’s normal after six dates. It would be for me. I usually try to make a move by then and if the girl lets me I will ask to be exclusive because I’m not the type of guy to get sexual with more than one girl at a time.
I ask for the exclusivity so she understands that she’s the only girl I’m focused on and that I want to be the only guy she’s focused on. I only get exclusive after things have been taken past friendship though. By date 6 I should have already kissed her and gotten sexual with her in some way. For me, asking to be exclusive by date 6 is normal.
You're overthinking, i'd say going exclusive in 3-5 dates is very normal, or it's unlikely to happen/someone is dragging their feet.
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I mean, I don't want to say it's too early because everyone moves at their own pace - I would be worried if it was three dates, more. I'd say just be cautious, see how it plays out before you jump to conclusions.
If you're trying to find love, don't half ass it. Always dive in. You said you like him. Don't complicate it more than that. 3 weeks if you've seen each other most days of those 3 weeks is plenty of time to get to know whether you're okay to try a relationship with them or not.
Exclusive can be for many reasons. One is safety like you've both are clean std wise and you are only sleeping with each other. There's some comfort in that. Doesn't mean it's going to lead to love quickly or marriage but its a bit easier if two people can get to know each other in a trusting situation.
exclusive only means you and he are only going out with each other to see if it will work and you won't have sex with anyone else.
Well I had a guy taking for granted we were exclusive after three dates so... I don't know what's up with some people. And to answer your question, it depends. It could mean he's really desperate which also means he'll be clingy and probably struggles with insecurity (desperation shows he has a hard time finding someone which would make him insecure) and insecure people often act controlling because they're so afraid of rejection and that you'll find someone better. So taking all that into account i'd tread forward carefully and not promise him anything until you know him better. You shouldn't have said yes if you're doubtful in the first place though.
That might happen yes, it might also happen that you decide your not into it and given that women have a far easier time dating today than men do, that women are far less invested in relationships than men are in general then I'd say it's he that should be worried not you.
Why do people on here insist on making broad sweeping generic statements about genders? Can you back your statements with statistical proof that women have an easier time dating than men? Because I definitely have not had a walk in the park when it comes to relationships.
You have the option of choice, for every man that you match with you'll have rejected at least 10-20 other men, nicer problems to have I'd say. I don't understand why you are then complaining when you and most women have at least more matches than they can feasibly cope with, a veritable line of men then buy of course that's an issue now. So you're not happy when nobody pays any attention to you and your not happy when you have more than enough.
no, why would that mean that? I choose to be exclusive IMMEDIATELY, it has nothing to do with "whirlwind romance" or anything like that, it has to do with the fact that I like to focus my entire effort into what ever relationship I am in and the sooner I can do that the better off I am (seems stupid to split your time and energy amongst multiple people, you start off the relationship already having your foot out the door.).
Asking to be exclusive is no big deal? Its just tht you enter a relationship together and not date others at the time. It doesn't make you have other obligations like yoy can't eat cereal in the morning. If it doesn't work out you can just break it off and go back to date others again, dont stress it too much
Three weeks sounds about right for two people who can agree that they have feelings for each. If you say "No I don't want to be exclusive" you're basically saying "I'm not so hot for you, I'm keeping my options open for someone better." Tell him exactly how you feel, make sure its for the long run and serious. Also find out about his past relationships through his friends or ask him.
do not be excusive with any man , especially if you have just dated him for three weeks ! for he is up to something with either you , the money you may have , house or car that you may have or he thinks you have ! Thanks
Yeah he knows I’m broke lol
I like the Idea of Exclusive if you Both really enjoy each other Here, dear. However, Go Slow with Joe and Find out if it is Everything you Both want. xx
Seems a little soon to me, like by a year or so! But, hey - I'm "old school", so maybe you can pull it off sooner.
Just be sure to be in each other's company, in a variety of situations, over a long enough span of time, to get a gauge on how he thinks, responds to problems, etc., and a true level of your compatibility.
Maybe he's worried about losing you to someone else, and that's why he's wanting to be serious so quickly
In my opinion, 3 weeks is too soon to become serious with someone. It takes longer than 3 weeks to get to know each other.
Be honest and tell him you want to take it slow. But reassure him you are exclusive with him ( only if that's what you want too)
Well normally if you are sating someone you can see after one or two dates if he suits to you or not. If you are fallen in love to him or not. So dating though there are no feelings for him is strange. And yes you two should be exclusive after this time.
Wow I would expect you to be exclusive within one second of us dating, when I date it is totally monogamous
Yes you should be worried, it means he is started to get bored from you, these type of people are childish and don't stay attached to people once their needs are fulfilled.
If you think this is because we haven’t slept together, that’s not the case. We’ve had sex multiple times.
I'd say you've run into something called a red flag. What IS the rush? You don't know this guy well enough to be exclusive. You might want to rescind that...
So you've been dating six weeks? Do YOU feel comfortable with being exclusive in this time scenario? Nobody's going to really look BAD after only six weeks, for sure, unless they admit to being a "furry" serial killer and start beating you.
@0112358 I like that 60 hour bottom line: the number of hours you need to spend together to establish a "friendship." Six dates sounds like 25 hours. Not even halfway there yet. (4 hours per date sounds about right... if she's spent more time together with him... not talking about sitting in movies... but actually talking, engaging in enjoyable activities together... being at each other's homes, cooking together... going on short trips) About three months should be in the ballpark. But anyone could do it sooner to concentrate on one person if that suits them. It's an individual thing. I think six weeks is quick, though.
Three weeks is so vague because three weeks could mean it’s been 9 dates or 3. but it’s all up to you, when in doubt always trust your gut.
It’s been about 6 dates.
6 is i’d say the average amount of dates most people become exclusive. if you feel you know and trust him so far then I think you should definitely go with it, it shows he is serious and interested and clearly doesn’t want you to get snatched up by anybody else.
I would trust your gut sense instincts. There is nothing wrong with caution and trusting your senses. But that alone, is positive to me.
I would advise all females on planet earth, to become familiar with human trafficking issues that are prevalent in society. There's a few sick guys out there that are abusing females. They put on a great act for 6-12months... You gotta really have your game on these days. wish you the best.
I don't see a problem. You are showing how culture has shaped attitudes towards avoiding monogamy.
If I feels the need to ask that.. it's not a good sign, my reply would have been very harsh, maybe break-up right at that point
Keep going in stages. Yes you can go exclusive but do not give him everything all at once. With sex the last stage you will see if he really likes you for you.
Three weeks, eh personally no I'd wait a bit longer. That's just me tho.
Oh, yuck! A guy wants to be exclusive, be with you only and work towards an actual mature relationship! That sick perverted fuck, not only should you be worried - I'd report him to the police.
There’s no need to be rude about it.
Well, there was no need to be stupid about it either, but that seemed to have eluded you.
Is being an internet troll fun? Pure curiosity here
Probably not as much as being a stupid little attention whore talking nonsense for likes. :)
I hope you have a great day
Being exclusive doesn't mean you have to move fast. They say after 8 dates is best. I been told "I Love you" by a guy from Poland when I was lonely in UK after 2nd date within 1 week. That when you need to worry. He asked we move together. He tried to rape me to bring him a child. He posted my picture on his FB without my permission. He cries bc I rejected him. He stalked me all time. Needless to say I moved to a place where he can't find me.
He lied to his friends that we are a couple. I told them He's Not my boyfriend.
If you are uncomfortable, that’s an indication you migHt not be ready. Maybe just talk to him?
You should be exclusive from day one. Who the fuck date or seek multiple people at the same time?
Lol we live in a world where "exclusive relationship" is a scary concept.
And people wonder why soceity is falling apart.
Just make sure his actions are the same as his words. If he is saying one thing and doing another, get rid of him and find someone else. Unless you like the drama lol
Exclusive? If that's the word he used yes, you should be worried, look at this way exclusive means restricted, he sees you as a possession, not the gift that you are.
No that’s not the word he used exactly, it was just the best way I could think of explaining the situation
Even though my philosophy in a relationship is from the wisdom of Lao Tzu of the Tao Te Ching. The great way to live. One should allow their woman to go where she wants to go and be inclined to do what she wants to do without interference from their man. A woman should feel the wind in her hair and the breeze on her face, this is true trust and true love. It is from the feminine we are all created. Respect your woman is the morals I live by. Then true love will last.
My ex asked me the same, exactly after 3 weeks. He ended up being manipulative and a pathological liar. Not everyone is the same, but it's a bit of a red flag. Time will tell tho
He’s none of those things. He’s a kind man that’s been really understanding of my independent nature and thinks I’m beautiful... I don’t know why I’m questioning it. I really like him.
I WOULD ASK A WOMAN TO BE EXCLUSIVELY MINE AFTER 2 DATES
Guys tend to make up their minds faster than women do. Are you still wanting to see other people?
No, and I told him as much. The last guy I was seeing lead me on for six months without telling me what we were doing. It just threw me.
Weird that it would be 3 weeks. I wouldn’t stay if you were dating someone else.
He wants to be with you and only you. That's a good thing. Take it slow and build your relationship
Further evidence girls are NEVER happy.
It has nothing to do with not being happy. I’m very happy with him. He’s one of the kindest men I’ve ever met and is super supportive of me as a person. He thinks I’m beautiful and makes me confident. I don’t want to loose him either which is why I said yes.
I’m allowed to be scared of a new thing because in my generation, not just women, have proven that they are rarely satisfied.
You can understand that there’s a difference between a female gripping and entering a relationship with caution.
Plus with my generation, not just females, there seems to be a need to find the next best thing—so again I’m nervous and think it is unfair to clump an entire gender together in such a generic statement.
It's hardly a generic statement, but it doesn't matter.
The reality is if you want a committed relationship both parties have to be vulnerable to each other (in reasonable stages of course) allowing yourself to be vulnerable exposes you to the possibility of being hurt.
Is the guy hitting that milestone fast? Hell yeah he is, but that doesn't make him any more or less sincere about his feelings for you.
I mean, that’s a valid point... I’m letting my past experiences blur my judgement
What is that? You see, it’s all these terms and possibilities that get me so freaked out. How are you supposed to trust someone?
It’s definitely not that. He says cheesy things sometimes but nothing extreme.
Clear your mind and give it a Chance, you may never know what will happen
You have to comete at some point just don't let them own you tell what you can and can't do
Nope, you should be worried if he did not.
I don't think that's weird?
Is it something wrong with you?
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