Does he want to be exclusive or is he letting me down easily?

[Anonymous]

So I’ve been on about 6 dates with this guy. The first one being in October of 2022. Fast forward to now. During a conversation, I stated that I really liked him and wanted to be exclusive and that I hope to be married someday and wanted to work towards that with someone. And asked what he thought about it at the end. His reply was, “I’m open to that.” I then asked what he thought about dating me exclusively and he said “Im open to being exclusive.” I feel like he was letting me down easy and now just want to tell him I’m moving on. Opinions?

It’s been a while but we haven’t had too many dates tbh. Before we met, I had planned to host Thanksgiving and Christmas, planned a trip, and traveled for work for 1 week twice in the time afterwards. However, I did state this at the beginning and put forth effort to plan ahead to see him and stuff.

[Guy13]

Chill out and enjoy your life with snd without him. I can feel the stress and pressure even through this. I’m sure he can too.

I would give him space to be him while you are being you. Stop forcing definition snd filing everything. It’s too much. Chill a little bit 😊

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice i wasn't trying to pressure him i just want to know where i stand i guess and should’ve just stated that id like to be exclusive to see where things go. I don't know. Whatever.

[Guy13]

There you go. If you back off a little he knows you have relaxed and he will MISS you... It isn't games just respectful and little bit manipulative within allowed amounts. ;-)

[PrettyPriya]

I think you are misinterpreting or thinking way too much into what he said. How is him agreeing and saying he is open to both things you suggested a negative? You are going to move on from him because of that? Yikes.

He simply said he was open to the things that you want. I don't see that as anything other than good. What was he supposed to say that would have made you think differently? Marriage is a HUGE step. To just send that out there might have caught him way off guard.

He might have had no clue that you were that serious and had no idea what to say to that. You need to give him some time to process all of that. It isn't exactly like discussing a weekend trip. You are talking about getting married and you aren't even exclusive.

Even though you say "want to be married to someone" you are really directing that at him. If you had no intention of marriage with him (possibly) you would not have mentioned it. He probably was in a bit of shock.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice. That probably was shocking, didn't mean for it to be. i had wanted to see where he stood. I also asked to be steady and exclusive not him to marry me. I was just saying that it was still a goal of mine after being in a relationship for a while. Maybe I should’ve waited until he asked me I don't know

[PrettyPriya]

I think start with the being exclusive part of it. There is plenty of time to make that work and see how things go. It takes time to really figure out if you are the one for him and he is the one for you.

Plenty of time to think about marriage. Start small and build on that. Seems like he is open (by what he said) to being exclusive with you. I think that is a great first step.

[WhitneySnow]

He’s saying he likes the idea of being exclusive with you and maybe marrying you someday. This is a good thing!

[Anonymous]

Has your relationship included sex or is that something that is not on the table yet?

[Asker]

We’ve kissed and touched and stuff but not like full sex. We’ve slept over. Me at his once. And his at mine the last time we went on a date

[Opinion Owner]

Is that something you would do if you were both committed to dating exclusively?

[Asker]

Yeah

[Opinion Owner]

"When I told you that my long term goal was marriage, I didn't mean that I think we should get married. f it sounded that way, I'm sorry, but that's not what I meant. No, we're just getting to know each other and we need to spend much, much more time together before we ever consider something like that. I just don't want to be wasting my time if that's somethng you would never consider. And I don't want to move forward with a sexual relationship and then find out that this was just a casual fling for you. So, if you feel or whenever you feel ready to say 'let's date exclusively,' just tell me and my answer will be 'yes.'"

I think that would tell him all you need to say and put it all in perspective.

[Asker]

Thanks for this! It lets me leave the ball in his court since he didn’t exactly say yes and I probably scared him with the marriage thing.

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck!

[Karl3285]

Di u have sex with him or not yet

[Asker]

We’ve kissed and done oral stuff like once