Why would someone put a massive amount of effort into the chase/seduction, then ghost the person when they make a move?

[StevieBlunder]

A couple times in my life, women have put a huge amount of effort into the chase/seduction, showing every sign of comfort, excitement, trust and sexual anticipation: including handwritten letters and little gifts. Then when I make a move *poof*, they've vanished like a ghost, to avoid me after that.

When that happened, I felt kind of crazy, like I'm lacking social awareness, like maybe I have an overactive imagination and imagined things that weren't there; and that self-doubt can take a toll.

When that happens, should I assume they have emotions baggage that has made them neurotic and distrustful, or they are narcissistic and lack the ability to see anything except what is in their head?

Updates

+1 y

Women who have done that have told me I'm the whole package and trustworthy, and have idealized me.

[VIVANT]

Maybe they just liked you and were not advertising sex?

im not sure what they did maybe they write letters about sex in which case what I’m about to say will be way off the mark. but I know For myself I can be interested in a guy, show interest including ask him out, and I won’t be thinking of sex for several months or more.

If he took my interest in getting to know him as my searching for and or offering sex and suddenly made a sexual move , I would be incredibly shocked and uncomfortable. Though most likely unless he was really inappropriate, I’d probably talk it out not just ghost. But some people enjoy a chase.

[StevieBlunder]

Well, I never talk to women about wanting to have sex or get laid, or how hot their body is, and women have told me I make them feel like they're worth a lot.

[VIVANT]

That’s good. 😊

What were the moves that you made?

It can be that just enjoyed toying with you

Or genuinely liked you but for whatever reason they changed their mind

[StevieBlunder]

This isn't every time, but the ones I'd been most optimistic about, where everything seemed to flow naturally and organically, and the women were conveying signs of falling in love. I don't really have moves. Just as I thought I was good at connecting with women, *bam* the door got kicked shut in my face and they ghosted me. It happened twice in a row.

[Secret6620]

Probably got scared off 🤷✌️💜