Haven't kissed yet and I've already gone on a date with this girl 3 times. How bad is this?

[Anonymous]

Basically what the title says. She still says she wants to see me and asked when she can see me again. We are both kind of shy and she's the first girl I've ever dated, so I am completely inexperienced with this stuff. What should I do on the fourth date?

[AmandaYVR]

It sounds like both of you are overthinking this. But how to stop?

Make another date. Maybe have a couple ideas, but keep it loose, you both should be flexible and adaptable. Share what you love. Even if it's as simple as your favourite drink somewhere (but hopefully it's more interesting than that.) Or as inexpensive as a walk or hike somewhere pretty, where you can experience nature and have lots of time to talk. That small amount of activity can get the blood moving, which might possibly unblock both of you a little.

You can try and counter the nerves with natural chemicals from within. Right before you leave your house to go meet her, play your favourite song (or in your headphones or car, etc.), something really energizing, blast it loud. Get pumped. Maybe have some caffeine. You're a bit young so I won't suggest other things in that vein.

You need to stop the hamster wheel and just let things flow. Have a few questions in your head, at the ready, to get conversation going in the directions you would like. Bob and weave, whatever she throws at you. It's not all your responsibility but try and steer the ship a little, or as much as possible. I recommend personality questionnaires. You can look some up before you go, have them on your phone. Even a simple word association game will help you to get to know each other. People like talking about themselves, and your interest and curiosity will be appreciated.

Don't be fatalistic with how you contextualize this in your head, or fixate on timelines here. If you both are new to dating, it's probably just nervousness, why you haven't kissed yet. I'd suggested a goodbye kiss at the door, or even better, do it earlier in the date so there's not such a big build up/question at the end. Try sitting somewhere close together. Make contact gently, touching arms (accidentally-on purpose, type of thing) and see if she moves her arm away or not. If your skin is touching, and bristling from the electricity, you're good to go. Go in 80%, pause, and see if she meets you and fills in that remaining gap.

Ok? Just have fun. Whatever happens, they're memories. Nothing is the end of the world. If something gets awkward, just try again the next time.

[Stonernights]

there's no time limit to this stuff. Just keep up the communication. Do not compare dating in real life to what you see on tv or even what you have had in the past because everyone is different. I didn't learn that until later. Not everyone doing all the stuff you think they are. I met a guy who didn't kiss anyone until he was late 20s.

[Sg1989]

Hi there, I wouldn't stress much about a kiss I mean I remember back when I had my first kiss but at the moment you are probably both really shy and no one wants to make that first step, but if she is saying she wants to see you again and you have already seen each other a few times then she is obviously interested in you and the kiss will come just dont put pressure on yourself or her, try even holding hands as that is always easier and less pressure and from there you may get an idea if a kiss is a good idea in that moment or not, but good luck we have all been there.

[Asker]

Alright yeah I suppose. I wasn't the one who brought up meeting again, she was the one so she must still be interested. On the other hand I have no idea what to do with her because all non-essential places have been closed due to the virus in my state, so there isn't really anything to do.