Can rebounds ever work? What exactly is a rebound to you?

[eazycat]

So basically I'm seeing a guy who's recently got out of a super long relationship that he ended. He seems genuinely into me for me. He feels it's not a true rebound because I'm not there to just fill a spot and because our chemistry and relationship has been very natural. We have also been very communicative about eachothers feelings and what we each of us want out of this with updates. Do rebounds ever work? I know he doesn't consider me a rebound but the timing worries me.

[CallMeDave]

If you're considering it a rebound simply because of the time since the end of the last relationship, then I can tell that yes indeed that can work.

My girlfriend and I both got divorced at about the same time and we got together sooner that most people thought was good. A lot of people thought it was just a rebound relationship and that it wouldn't last. We both believed that it was not a rebound relationship, but was based on seeing a lot of things in each other that we wanted in a partner and believing that we could have a long term future together. I would consider it a rebound only if the primary reason for the relationship was avoiding loneliness, wanting to prove to yourself or your ex that you can find a new partner, or wanting a distraction from thinking about your ex.

It turns out that in my case the doubters were wrong and we were right. We are now in a long term relationship and have been living together for more than 4 years.

Based on my experience, here's what I would say about your situation. If he really means it that you're "not there to just fill a spot" (which would be a rebound) and he sees the things in you that he wants and feels the chemistry, then I think it could work and that you should move forward as you would in any relationship. There's a chance I suppose that he's just telling you that and doesn't really mean it, but I think you'll be able to figure that out before too long if that's the case. So my opinion is that you should just continue the relationship. Be alert for any signs that he just wants a relationship with anyone and not specifically with you, but if you feel that he does really like you for you then it could turn out just fine. Good luck!

If you have more specific questions about this, let me know and I'll try to give you my opinion on those too.

[eazycat]

great advice, thank you, and I'm glad you and your current partner worked out!

[CallMeDave]

Hope it works out for you too!

[Purpleronnie]

I wouldn’t be in a hurry to call it a rebound , I don’t agree that’s the right term. If what he says is true then I’m sure the decision to end that long relationship did not come easy and well he did end it. I’d say he just wants to move on with his life. There is no limit of time that’s needed after a relationship it’s when the person is ready to move in and I believe it could just be that simple. My advice listen to how he talks and measure that with how he acts, pay attention to the detail , this will all give you clues as to whether he has hang ups if at all from his ex but don’t be suspicious unless you have cause. People are allowed to move on quickly after all when it’s right right , time doesn’t wait 😊👍

[Mollynotgemma]

Yes they can! People often meet someone very soon after they’ve split up with someone and whilst most would worry that it’s a want not to be single... who has the right to say how anyone feels! Why do people say you need to be single for a while after a break up! How stupid people are to say I’m going to be single for a year and then start dating again! I’m sorry but you can’t choose when you’re going to catch feelings! Some relationships fail... some don’t! People whose relationships fail that were from a rebound are always remembered as opposed to the relationships that happened after people being single for a while!
People only remember the rebounds!

[Dchrls78104]

If you get involved in a relationship while still missing your ex, you're on the rebound. Rebounds are an injustice to the new partner; you may make the same mistakes you made with the ex or even project your issues with the ex onto your new partner. Ultimately, I don't think that they ever work.

[Avicenna]

I suppose they could work. Haven't heard any success stories, though,

[demonintheback]

Rebounds can totally work as long as they're 100% over the last person, which isn't usually honestly the case. But if it is, clear communication can still definitely help to make things work.

[Anonymous]

I was the rebound but we lasted awhile then i got bored so i ended it lol

[CuriousMufuxka]

Yeah, it won't work. I mean go ahead and have unbelievable sex for a couple weeks, but he will still be wounded.