That’s not a mixed message lol that’s just passive aggressive non committed person.. I mean uncertainty can last for many reasons weeks maybe months, but YEARS ~~ no way lol 😛😊😊A mixed message is when you are not dating and you ask someone how they feel about you and they pause or avoid answering, but then still act as if they really like you
@VIVANT That TOO, is a mixed message... but you can not justify saying " JUST a passive aggressive non committed person.. " is not also giving you a mixed message! It's a more intense mixed message, for sure, but it's still a big one.
Hmm yes I see.. I really actually just meant that as I see it, mixed messages are when you can’t communicate and are left to guess, such as initial dating period. Once you are in a real relationship and communication is basic fundamental part of the relationship, I dont see it as mixed message. The message is clear. It’s only mixed if it’s ambiguous. A person you are supposed to marry, is just avoiding marriage. But you’re right thats my opinion and it doesn’t mean other people feel that way.To me mixed messages don’t exist once you are dating. It’s something you experience prior to being shoe to fully communicate bc you Dk if they want to even date you.Adults Should be able to talk things out once together. So I do see mixed message as simply manipulative or indifferent at that point. If someone I’m committed to is playing Games , that’s clear.Whereas if you just met someone you really Dk if they are playing Games or just uncertain.Whereas many people jump too quick to assume it’s a Game in the beginning but hold on too long to b s once it’s begun. in my opinion once you have communicated very clearly how you feel what you want, any confusing communication is intentional. Bc there’s no excuse for it.
@VIVANT I understand your point that a mixed message is more apt to occur in the courting process, or dating process, when you don't understand one another well as yet. I see that point clearly. But I don't quite understand this - " once you have communicated very clearly how you feel what you want, any confusing communication is intentional. Bc there’s no excuse for it." I don't think, even in a relationship, that all communications "sink in" with the other person, even though YOU believe you've communicated very clearly.
you are both correct lol...just two different stages. if both not on the same page, things will get messed up regardless of the term. Someone has to make a decission otherwise, their will be resentment/hurt feeling on one end.Don't we wish things are more simple?
@midnightmoon05 It is simple :) I just won't say it in this thread, but you can message me. LOL
I notice that I remember things my girlfriend told me in the first few weeks of dating only once, I just felt this was the case with everyone, after all she's my first girlfriend.
It's quite possible you didn't make your interest clear. Let's say you keep sneaking glances. We may not catch you doing that. The point of sneaking glances is si nobody knows you're doing it. Let's say you laugh at a stupid joke. A lot if people do, that is the main reason it's funny.
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I agree with Lightbulb27. Nothing is ever black and white and simple when it comes to dating, and that line is blurred even more as you get older. Dating becomes more of a challenge and you have real adult expectations. Sometimes you meet people that have attachment issues and keep everyone at a distance. Being newly single, feelings of un-worthiness all come up. I guess it would depend on how often the mixed signals happen and the types of mixed signals they do.
Sorry for wrong spellings and wrong words , I didn't read it twice and I was multitasking
I agree. It’s still bad but I still prefer info
I agree that happens sometimes. But I think people who are usually shy let the other person know that they are-- and that communication is enough to show they aren't mixed signals.
okay. i can agree with that.
Right? When you're excited about someone, it's obvious! The other person won't feel like there is uncertainty.
@SydneySentinel For me, though, there will always be uncertainty. Because I'm kind of a sordid character. (Low income, rough past, poor health.) So I expect ALL women to have hesitations about marrying me.
@Jamie05rhs Jamie i didn't mean that some of them ladies or guys who send mixed signals weren't interested. They could be just shy. Or they could be hesitant based on their past. Either way why open yourself up to that heartache
@ChiTown33 The context of my comment was replying to what @SydneySentinel said specifically. Focusing on the key word "uncertainty." That was the main theme of what I was trying to say. Does that make sense?
@Jamie05rhs i find it stranger that you jump straight to marriage. All women will get cold feet when it comes to marriage i mean if you're doing it right you're planning on being with this person for the rest of your life. And of the things you listed i just see it as you need to find a woman that doesn't judge harshly on those things. Than again maybe it's an age difference at this point between us. It's not like i don't want a relationship with a woman. But i'd rather be alone for the right reasons then with someone for rhe wrong ones. So if her and i don't share the same life vision i'm completely fine with being single. It's better than being together and making each other unhappy.
@ChiTown33 Why would I not jump straight to marriage? I'm a straight-talker. I tell it like it is. I don't bullshit anybody or beat around the bush.I believe in marriage, and that is my end goal. I don't want to waste my time with any woman who isn't looking for a long-term, monogamous, committed relationship. I'm not interested in messing around with people who want to mess around. I'm a serious guy. I know what I want in life and I'm going to go after it."And of the things you listed i just see it as you need to find a woman that doesn't judge harshly on those things." You're right. But she might judge at first before she gets to know me. You can't blame her for that. It's only reasonable.And yeah, I would prefer to be single, too, as opposed to being with the wrong person. Why do you think I'm still single now, at age 33? Hello. I must have swiped left on like 5,000 profiles so far.
@Jamie05rhs wow just 5000?
@ChiTown33 Lol shut up. But yeah, close to that haha.
@Jamie05rhs I understand what you mean about sordid characters and Chi hit it right on finding a woman who doesn't judge as harshly on thosethings. I'm sure if you're open and honest, it still takes processing time for another person understand and consider if they want to continue on. I have that too with my past. If people could just say "hey I need to process what you've just told me," that's not a mixed signal. I think actually this is a matter of open communication between both parties. In a world where people follow silly rules like "let him do the chasing" or "don't call until 3 days after you get her number because you'll look desperate," there are going to be stupid mixed messages.
@SyndneySentinel "I need to process..." I had someone say that to me, but then they just dragged it on and would never give me a clear answer either way. So eventually I just had to end it.
Sorry I fucked up your name, @SydneySentinel. Lol
@Jamie05rhs I'm sorry to hear that. I think in that situation, you did what you could and she took the cowardly way out by not responding.
Thank you, @SydneySentinel.
Depends on the specific situation.
I agree. When I say I agree, I’m referring to “ No they aren’t always clear...” I don't know what the response is to that, bc whoever responded blocked me. I’m only consciously agreeing with first anon statement.
Exactly. Mixed signals feels like some game. No one wants or needs that. Don't waste people's time.