2.1K opinions shared on Dating topic. I would say that it is a POTENTIAL red flag, but there could certainly be reasons that most guys wouldn't care about.
A guy looking at you as a potential relationship partner is going to want to know that you aren't afraid of him, that you don't have commitment issues, that you aren't asexual or aren't against sex, and that you don't have serious mental health issues. Those would be red flags, and certainly some women in your situation would have one or more of those things. But some just didn't prioritize relationships, or had other outside influences or situations.
The biggest potential red flag is that you are so used to being alone that you are unable or unwilling to change and adjust and sacrifice (usually in minor ways) to be able to live with another person who grew up with different parents and different rules and expectations about things. Everyone has to make adjustments and give up minor things - and occasionally major things - for the long term health of the relationship.
Those things aside, guys are going to be far more willing to overlook inexperience than "too much experience."19 Reply
Asker+1 yI am used to being alone. I can’t really bring myself to even try.
- +1 y
It's your life, and you can live it as you see fit, but you're going to find that while it's easy for women to be single in their 20s, and even a bit into their 30s, when you hit 35 or so, and realize that all you have to look forward to is another 30 years of going to work, and then coming home to watch TV, you're going to wish you had a partner. It's rough going at life alone, especially when big challenges come your way, and really especially if you start having health problems.
Plus, there's the financial issue. If you don't have anyone to share bills with, then nearly all of your income usually goes to your living expenses, which means you aren't saving nearly enough for retirement, which means you won't be able to retire, and if you do get sick, you could end up in some state-run nightmare of a facility since the decent places are private and quite expensive.
As I said, when you are young, being single isn't that hard, but it gets much harder as you get older, for women especially.
Asker+1 yAm I suppose to be scared or something?
Asker+1 yAlso, is that only reason I should be in a relationship? Use my partner to help me with bills?
- +1 y
No, it's to have someone to share your life with. To share the important moments of your life. To have someone who understands things about you and with you that no one does. To have someone who puts you above the world - someone who would sacrifice for you, defend you, protect you, and who wants to make your life better in every way he can.
Look - I'm not trying to talk you into it - if you want to be single forever, that's nothing to me. But YOU should at least understand the magnitude of the decision you are making, and REALLY think about the full consequences. As long as you've done that, then whatever you decide is fine. Just don't complain to anyone about the consequences of the decisions YOU made.
Asker+1 yWhy are you so concerned?
- +1 y
I just think people in general should be fully informed when they make major decisions about their lives. And because I dislike it when people make such choices, and then blame other people for the consequences, or expect the world to bail them out and take the responsibility that they didn't take for themselves.
Asker+1 yIt’s not like I’m taking drugs or anything. I’m just not afraid of being alone and I’m not going to hop in a relationship when I feel scared.
As a matter of fact, I can easily tell someone that they’ll get cheated on and I can tell them the same thing about not blaming others for their choices.
Asker+1 yTo be fair, men never found me dateable and desirable when I was in my teens or my 20s. If they didn’t find me dateable/desirable then, they’re never going to now. A lot of people aren’t meant to be with someone. And that’s ok.
Most Helpful Opinions
- 1.1K opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yDon't worry, you're not the only one. I have never had a relationship, and I've only had sex 3 times. I'm DemiSexual, DemiRomantic, and Demipleasure, so being demi is super hard in the dating society where people mainly get into relationships via hookups, don't talk about themselves, lots of insecurities & paranoia, and ghost at the slightest awkward and/or inconvenient moments. With the fact i have very little experience with romance, it comes across as a red flag and creates awkwardness, because it makes their paranoia kick in giving a lot of negative reasons in their mind, when the reason for my single life is due to, the lack of women finding me attractive, the lack of mutual attraction, and really bad luck when it comes to romance. Because I've had a lot of time being single i have worked on trying to get rid of my insecurities, get a better understanding of what a healthy relationship is, and the dos & don'ts in a relationship.
Sadly from talking to many women, they find a healthy supportive relationship with little to no drama and/or abuse boring as hell. I've learned to just accept my single life and enjoy life when I can. So, cheer up, your frustration is valid. Focusing on it only brings depression.00 Reply
- 617 opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yNot everyone. You’d be surprised how many men haven’t had experience either. I wouldn’t consider being a virgin a turn off. Some men appreciate that you haven’t slept with many or none. If people would wait until marriage to have sex and be more careful there would be less abortions. Besides that being single is amazing and not everyone is meant to be married or have kids etc. If you feel the need to want to start dating then be honest with them from the beginning and that way you’ll know the ones that want to stick around and not waste your time. You’ll need someone who doesn’t care if you are a virgin and wants to get to know you, for you
20 Reply
1.8K opinions shared on Dating topic. I'm the same situation as you. I used to be bothered by it but now I don't care. I'm not interested in dating guys from where I live, so dating at this moment is not an option.
Also, I need to focus on myself and changing my life. Sure, I would like to have a boyfriend but I must be kind to myself instead of rushing and ending up dating the wrong guys.
I understand why this might be a concern to you, but I guess it's not a big deal for some men. If they like, they will like regardless of you having experience or not.
00 Reply
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
36Opinion
7.5K opinions shared on Dating topic. I am going to be honest, okay… This is not directed at you but generally true.
If never married at 30 then Damaged in some major way that I am missing. Still enjoy harassing you at Indoor ⚽️.If 30 and divorced “no problem” as she was able to commit and possesses a character and personality deemed worthy to marry. Investigate.
30, never married, two divorcees then definitely or likely S O with realization ALL assets, that are not shared, will go to children.
20 Reply- 12.7K opinions shared on Dating topic.
u +1 yIs your concern about dating experience or sexual experience?
15 Reply
Asker+1 yBoth
- +1 y
I'm in a committed relationshp now, bt I was dating until December 2020. Of course, at my age, women who have no dating or sexual experience are very unlikely to put themselves out there and try to date. When I was younger, if I met a girl who I liked and I learned that she had no dating experience, I would think that it was possibly related to earlier trauma, social anxiety, perhaps a very oppressive upbringing, extreme religious views, etc. but it woldn't be an automatic turnoff or a deal breaker. It is something that I would want to learn about when the relationship had developed sufficiently that she would trust me to discuss the issue.
If I learned that she had no sexual experience, that would make sense because she had never dated. The fact that she was willing to begin a relationship with me - a relationship that miight lead to sex and the loss of her virginity - would be very flattering.
Of course, not every guy is going to have a patent and understanding attitude, but you only need to find one good guy to have a satisfyng relationship.
Good luck!
Asker+1 yHonestly, our world is scary. Because practically everyone has experience and those who don’t are heavily looked down upon and shunned.
- +1 y
Most men I know kind of like that type of innocence so I wouldn't beat yourself up about it if I were you. I felt kind of special that reserved women trusted me enough to have a sexual relationship with me.
- 1.1K opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yDefinitely. It’s not necessarily about a lack of experience though. You’re kind of like a home skooled kid showing up to public high skool for the first time. It’s strange and unexpected for everyone involved. People won’t know what to make of you, or vice versa. It’s probably going to be awkward, and you’ll likely encounter some internal and external pressures to prove you’re not damaged or defective. The good part is that everyone kind of has to do that early on in dating. So you’ll at least have THAT in common with everyone else despite having very different experiences. Good luck!
01 Reply
Asker+1 yI’ve decided just to not do it.
I used to see that as a red flag, but I'm changing my stance on all that stuff.
Lack of experience could definitely be a red flag, but I've also discovered that there are plenty of people who have lots of experience dating who absolutely cannot handle romantic relationships. So, it turns out that the immaturity, poor sexual performance, and other concerns I had about dating women without experience; 1000% apply to women who have experience.
So... don't be insecure... there is a lot of really shit dating out there.
00 Reply
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yYou can look attractive. You need something done with your hair. I don’t know you need to find a good stylist and salon that will transform your hair. As well as take good care of it.
A makeup artist and good makeup. Maybe even using a lot. As well as good clothing.
Almost anyone can look attractive on the outside and on the inside. But many people never put the time, money, effort, or energy into their physical or inward appearance.
You look like a lot of beautiful women without makeup on. Honestly. If you seen ugly to beauty transformations.
10 Reply
+1 yI know people in their 50s who have no idea what they want. Granted usually by the time a person is in their late 20s and above they have some experience and a general idea as to what they are looking for, but there are also those who were more concentrated in reaching other goals like their careers and dating was a back burner thing for them. I don't see anything wrong with that, but I would caution these folks to be careful once they do begin to date because there are a lot of people M/F out there that will take advantage of them.
00 Reply
+1 yRegardless how scary it is, you just have to experience it. I know most of the time, people say "I'm better off being single"... but they say it because of an experience too. It's part and parcel of life. You can't always have what you want, and nothing is perfect also. You just gotta try and see.
04 Reply
Asker+1 yThing is I don’t really want to try.
- +1 y
Sorry to sound rude as I don't want to. But I believe you have some confidence issues. That's what's keeping u back
Asker+1 yI just want to be a good potential partner. But, I don’t know if I will be.
Asker+1 yIt’s why I prefer to just stay single.
+1 yI'm 24 and barley getting a real serious relationship since 2 years ago with my current boyfriend tbh and I know people my age who already have kids and I'm sure the pressure is so real since you're 30 and its a huge milestone but I'm sure something will happen soon and someone will like you for you:) my boyfriend Is 20 and I don't have a whole lot of experience intimately but he doesn't care.
00 Reply
+1 yNo of course not maybe the person is just ugly or shy or both. One of the sweetest girls I know used to be 300+ no guy would ever date her now she’s lost over half her body weight she’s always been super pretty and now guys want to date her left and right. It’s a reality there’s nothing wrong with her. Now she’s suspicious of guys
00 Reply
+1 yIt’s not a big deal for me. Although I’m 7 years younger, I also have almost no dating experience and am long past the age where it’s expected for me to have some, and it’ll probably be a bit longer before I start trying to put myself out there again.
00 Replyit is not a red flag. after all, I started dating at 34. My boyfriend believes he found a rare gem. he could not believe it when I opened up that he's my first guy. Then he started wondering if I had done "bedmatics" (my term for sex) before. and at first I wanted to lie but I had to come clean that I'm still a V. He was stunned and started calling me baby girl. it was funny but he loves me to the bone.
10 Reply4.5K opinions shared on Dating topic. At some point though, everyone has no dating experience. It's equally possible that the person knows exactly what they want and hasn't found anyone who encapsulates it. In that way being single is a choice and until they find the right person they'll stay single.
00 Replyno to be honest some people prefer there freedom from lovers to do what they like instead of trying to get told what to watch or hardly getting to do what you like freedom is amazing u can just be free to do what you wanta do
00 Reply
+1 yYou’re fine. You shouldn't have to impress anyone or be the one who feels the need to. Its like having no credit. The sky is the limit compared to us with poor credit. That shit is a curse to come back from
00 ReplyI wouldn't consider it to be a red flag. I myself being almost 30 do not have any dating experience. But I really don't feel bad about it. You're perfect even if you do not have any dating experience.
P. S. it's better to stay single rather than dating someone wrong.00 Reply
+1 yI'm age 54 and never had sex because I want to find the right woman/girl, but I have been on one date and the girl talked about this crush she had the whole time so that was no more with her and yes I'm a single pringle.
00 ReplyIf she asexual then yes, but many men prefer an "inexperienced" woman, as she not a ho.
02 Reply
Asker+1 yEven if she’s a ho, she would know how to satisfy you way more than an inexperienced woman. You would have to teach an inexperienced woman and I don’t think you want to waste your time doing that.
- +1 y
She worth my time if she is not a ho, and sex is not rocket science, and I don't trust hos.
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/no_hymen,_no_diamond
- 3K opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yI was in same position at in my 30's. It's not easy to start dating but in my experience people are pretty understanding. If they aren't then they aren't the person you're after, just move on.
00 Reply Both my husband and I were virgins at the ripe old age of 21. If we married at 30 and he was still a virgin, I would have still married him.
00 Reply
+1 yYeah but you also don’t have a ton of baggage and wouldn’t be with someone just because your scared to be single.
00 Reply
+1 yNot at all, in fact a lot of men prefer women with little to no dating experience in this modern era. Men are increasingly becoming more aware of the negative affects of party culture and social media's influence on hookup culture
00 Reply837 opinions shared on Dating topic. Not for me, I'm 40 and never dated. Too many coincidences and obstacles. Without Jesus no real relationship can exist.
00 Reply
+1 yI don't think so but then again I am a virgin still and don't talk to anyone. I have been alone all of my life so I'm getting used to it I guess 😕
00 Reply8.5K opinions shared on Dating topic. Everyone has different life experiences and situations. I would not care if you have never dated.
00 Reply34 and limited experiences dating men there's not enough suitable dating partners for me and my beliefs. Now I don't want a relationship.
00 Reply- 2.7K opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yNo, it's not a red flag, virgins are preferred, and people can know what they want without experience.
00 Reply 711 opinions shared on Dating topic. Not really, its not a job interview. To me it would be a matter of what you want out of it if anything. It take two to tango. If you both want the same thing you're good to go.
00 Reply
+1 yNah! Everyone starts from somewhere! Go out and have some fun ;)
00 ReplyIn the USA it's smart. Actually, it's about the smartest move you can make. Many other countries have a collectivistic mindset in their culture though, so you actually do get real support from one another. In the USA, you'll sink. Fast.
00 Reply
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yThat rule only applies to men. Women can do whatever they want. You have more privileges than a man. So no need to despair
00 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yYes, it is, but I think it is worse for men than it is for women.
01 ReplyI think it depends on the person but I would say no it isn’t.
00 Reply
+1 yI'm 54 and in the same situation. It's a wonder I haven't turned into an incel...
00 Reply800 opinions shared on Dating topic. I fear that this is the case for society unfortunately. It definitely hasn't helped me land any relationships.
00 Reply- 551 opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yNot alone I'd say, I'd wonder what the reason was probably
00 Reply - 5.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yDefinitely rises some concerns and suspicions. You will have to have a good explanation as to why..
00 Reply Not at all since I'm the same way, it just means you haven't found that special someone yet, by the way is the you on the profile picture?
00 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yMore for men than it is for women since the burden of leadership has always been and probably forever will be on men's shoulders
00 Reply
+1 yNah, maybe they're just shy.
00 Reply- 3.6K opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yNo. I never had any until I was at least 28.
00 Reply Relationship is not a Job.
01 Reply
Asker+1 yBut, wouldn’t it be easier to have someone on the same level as you?
+1 yI say just need some training 😏
02 Reply
Asker+1 yEh, too time consuming.
- +1 y
Sounds like fun
Anonymous(25-29)+1 yWhat about sex experience?
06 Reply
Asker+1 yThat too. I’m curious if being virgin is a red flag to men.
Opinion Owner+1 ySorry I pass you than
Asker+1 yHonestly, I don’t blame men for that. You want a partner who can satisfy you and virgin can’t do that.
Opinion Owner+1 yGood girl
Asker+1 yOk, I’m starting to get troll vibes from you 🙄
Opinion Owner+1 yThan I salute your intelligence
I would love to date you
00 Reply
+1 yNot a red flag.
00 Reply
Is lack of dating experience a red flag?
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!
Girl's Behavior
Guy's Behavior
Flirting
Dating
Relationships
Fashion & Beauty
Health & Fitness
Marriage & Weddings
Shopping & Gifts
Technology & Internet
Break Up & Divorce
Education & Career
Entertainment & Arts
Family & Friends
Food & Beverage
Hobbies & Leisure
Other
Religion & Spirituality
Society & Politics
Sports
Travel
Trending & News