If a guy doesn’t pursue you, does that mean he’s not attracted to you?

Question

Some of my coworkers and I had this discussion and we had many different answers.

I personally feel like yes. If a guy doesn’t pursue me, he’s not attracted to me. Simple as that. Some of my coworkers said that’s not always the case and maybe sometimes guys are insecure around certain girls.

What do you think?

mk200195 · Accepted Answer

If a guy does not chase you, it has little to do with who he is and more to do with your love language. There are no rules when it comes to dating. Sure, there are things that people do when they are interested in dating you. However, if you do not know what love language someone speaks, it’s hard to know how they show interest. The best thing you can do if you’re interested in dating someone, is to ask them if they are interested in you, and then tell them what you need, want or require. Just as you are not a mind reader, neither he is, so go ahead, bite the bullet and tell this guy what you want.

JamesBlackDragon · Accepted Answer

Not necessarily but it's a possibility I didn't pursue my girlfriend she pursued me

DrMeow · Accepted Answer

If they don't pursue you, in context that they have feelings for you, they probs just shy or don't want to do much about it yet/at all? Some might not feel like they're ready to pursue/start a relationship or they probs don't want to. Doesn't always mean they don't find you attractive.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Exactly, that's not always the case. I don't pursue anyone I tell you what's up how I'm feeling and if the vibe I get back isn't clear I'm out and you forgotten.

TJFreshman22 · Answer

For high school boys most of them are dumb as a sack of potatoes and completely insecure around girls (I know because back in high school I was one of them). A lot of guys find it really difficult to know when to approach a girl especially if your in a group (watch Harry Potter 4 during the yuletide ball - spot on).

If you want a certain guy to date or have a crush on him, the best thing to do is ask to speak to him off on your own. Then directly tell him you think he's cute, or funny, or whatever it is that makes you like him, and chances are he'll be super pumped. Then you can ask him what does he think of you and you can go from there. Us guys tend to put on a hard face but where super pumped like it's Christmas on the inside when we get excited around a girl.

pajamasam · Answer

Some guys need to pump themselves up before they approach you, they may be nervous or insecure and they need to get in the right head space to make a move.

A guy could be crushing on you hard but hasn't made a move yet because he is building the courage.

However this is kind of a trap, if a guy wants too long a girl will assume he isn't interested or some other guy will swoop in and take her before you build up your nerve

MotorcycleMan · Answer

Definitely not cast in stone. There may be many reasons. Maybe he's not ready yet. Maybe he think you are not into him. Maybe he doesn't want to face rejection. Maybe he has other commitments. Maybe there is some other reason or perceived reason why you may be "out of bounds", like you work together or are friends with someone he used to date, or his friends likes you. I could go on, but the point is just because a guy isn't pursuing, doesn't mean he's not attracted. Probably, but maybe not. ;)

r3or3o · Answer

Have you yourself never found someone attractive that you didn't actually want to be with?

A guy can feel attraction and not pursue for a number of reasons. He might not pursue you because of other qualities he might value other than merely attraction, or he could be a pansy, or he could be a MGTOW, etc.

perfectchaos · Answer

For sure it is definitely not a lack of attraction all the time. My senior year in highschool I fell for a really nice girl. She gave me signs that she liked me too. I didn't have the balls to ask her out. :( one of my regrets now.

Lj1234567 · Answer

Im an introvert so i dont chase and tbh its always my biggest mistake bit talking to women but at the same time i and other guys don't chase because we're far more likely to be rejected then be accepted. Once youve been rejected so many times you just give up

Bhavin2184 · Answer

Some are really shy to a point that even though they like a girl they just don't approach because of self esteem issues and rejection fears so there are some guys who won't approach a girl even though they are attracted to her.

OlderThanILook · Answer

I don't pursue girls I'm attracted to, and I'm sure other men are the same way. I think attraction isn't the only thing that dictates whether or not a man tries to get with a woman.

ecfresh · Answer

Nope. I think some guys see you as out of their league and would fear rejection even if they like you.

SilverRain92 · Answer

I agree with your coworkers. It's very difficult for guys to find a difference between pursuing and annoying girls. So sometimes guys wouldn't pursue a girl evrn if they like her if they are not sure how she views it

Wealthydentist · Answer

I’ve been attracted to many girls and never bothered approaching. Who cares? I can’t be asked, it usually happens when I’m just content outside enjoying myself. I know I’ll end up with a quality woman one day

Truthatanycost · Answer

Sometimes the girls I'm attracted to are not worth my time, therefore do not get any of it...

KrakenAttackin · Answer

If he doesn't pursue you it is either because he isn't attracted to you OR he thinks you will just shoot him down if he makes a move.

abc3643 · Answer

Well, I think his wife or girlfriend my have an issue with him pursuing you...

Liam_Hayden · Answer

I'm an extrovert, so if I'm not pursuing I'm either not attracted or am currently attached or on a date. But a lot of guys are so afraid of rejection that they fail to approach.

cush_ebo · Answer

So I think that you are still on follow me I unfollow you Game.. please feel free to tell me I find me attractive, so I will get on point for romance. It will be better you see?

Anonymous · Answer

He could be shy or he has certain anxiety issues in social situations, not that good of a conversationalist.

oncpl · Answer

The guy may be an egoist.

pocketman · Answer

It means he's holding back for some reason.

Hotboy_booblover · Answer

Yes.. he is not interested

If a guy doesn’t pursue you, does that mean he’s not attracted to you?

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