With the way people view dating/relationships these days, has it turned you off dating/relationships completely?

Question

gabrial97 · Accepted Answer

Yes and yes, people these days have commitment issues not just in relationships but in all things that need patience. And they also made sex seem like an activity that passes time their motto "no need for feelings to have sex" this introduced the concepts of friends with benefits/open relationships and if someone wants a serious relationship they will get cheated on because they seemed clingy or traditional. Believe it or not this mentality didn't exist in the past ofc there were exceptions but it used to be defined as whorism in the old days. We are living with the worst humans that ever existed on earth.

DocT1977 · Accepted Answer

Though I am a married man and don't have any reason to be out there looking, I will tell you what I would think if I were single. I would take a pass on today's dating scene quite easily. There are so many aspects of today's dating scene that I want nothing to do with. Too many people are putting the cart before the horse in these scenarios for my comfort. People honestly don't even date anymore. It's just a big sexual free for all.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

Girl I gave up on dating years ago!
Dating has always been terrible, but nowadays it seems worse! Dating apps and peoples selfish behavior aren't helping matters either.

People expecting sex on the first date, yet they barely know anything about you. Being ghosted instead of them just saying they're not interested in you like a mature adult.
And let's not forget about the ones that claim how special you are, or you're the "only one," as they're talking to/sleeping with 2 or 3 others on the side 🤦‍♀️

I got sick of the games and nonsense: most sensible people are! Why dig for a needle in haystick knowing the chances of finding it are minuscule? Yes, it's doable, but is it worth it? Meh. Debatable.

Everytime I consider giving dating a chance again, I just come on here and read some of the questions or mytakes on here... and remind myself that being single is so much easier! Lol

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I still believe good guys exist but its made me realize how unimportant money and status is when I consider how high income guys are treating woman like trash

AmandaYVR · Answer

Yeah the climate sucks out there.

Desconhecida · Answer

Dating became a game, a dangerous one.

Qiyndall · Answer

No! I just have to re-learn the rules, then realize there are more exceptions to the rules, than rules, then realize there are sets of rules for different groups & that at any time a woman can change groups, change rule sets or simply re-write the rules altogether.

Then, I must be a mind-reader to guess which set of rules/relative guidelines I am expected to follow, in order to be semi-successful in today's dating gladiatorial arena.

I must also be an expert in all electronic communication methods, a super-fit athlete but a well-educated fellow, a witty jokester but a classy "Red Baron," a gentleman but a champion MMA fighter, a soft sweetie pie but masculine & strong, a man who takes charge but a man who worships his woman, a man who knows 100 pickup lines but is not a player, a man who who is great in bed but not a man who has practiced with many women, emotionally available but not a overly emotional, dedicated but not obsessed, fashion-conscious but not shallow
... (I am sure I could go on a few pages with some thought)

Ok, F*CK all that. I choose to be myself. I choose to be honest because 1. it is too exhausting to track bazillions of lies, 2. I would despise myself if I became a liar 3. if a woman wants me, she must know ME, not some fairy tale I made up.

I ask HARD questions & thank a woman for her time when we learn we are not completely compatible. I offer my friendship to those whom I like but find not perfect for me. I thank a woman for asking me hard questions, but CAUTION her to be careful what she asks since I promise at first contact to tell the truth.

I once met a redhead I found attractive. Gingers are not exactly my love map. I told her what I liked about her & confessed that the feature most men found attractive with her is what slowed my passion. It surprised her that I was so open, & offended her a little bc she was used to her red hair & pretty face being an automatic man-slaver. We had a little fun together but parted paths with a handshake & an awkward friendly hug.

Dating is not meant to be fun all the time. If you can have fun, GREAT! I prefer not wasting time with those not worth my time, over seeking to be fun all the time for everybody. I am not an amusement park!

("Do you like this wart/mole on my face?" is probably not a good question to ask me. Instead, try, "does this x/y/z completely repulse you?")

Did I answer acceptably?
No, I choose not to be celibate & not to settle for a mediocre woman. I choose not to hunt for the prettiest girl I can catch. I want the RIGHT girl. A successful man is a flexible man with a rigid sense of self & rigid principles.

Unit1 · Answer

I am completely turned off by women, who put no effort on their side.
That could be any of these

Ignoring me / not responding
100% of all times making me the initiator and never initiate themselves
Are not trying to keep the entertainment alive, thus, "forcing" men to prove themselves OR they reject absolutely all plans
Think it's men's job to do X, Y, Z (asking her out, paying for everything, proving his worthiness, so that she can judge). Then what is the women's job? Pregnancy and childbirth ON THE FIRST DATE? I believe it should be then OUR job to decide to continue seeing them or not and that alone is looking towards the door.
Are ALWAYS so "very busy" (or that is what they say) that they never text, yet their last seen status changes often enough. And I don't mean within 24 hours or something but I mean generally overall. Makes me want to say "oh? nothing hun. Just keep being busy. I'm busy talking to the ladies".
Redirect effort into lies (for example their bio says I HATE SMOKING and in the next picture you see them with a hookah or a cigarette)
Are glued to their phones and there's no normal reason to be on it for long periods of time DURING DATES!!!

Gah! Women. I mean not to bash them as a whole unit but it can get that frustrating and quite discouraging. As we say it's more effort than it's worth it. It's really so much easier and more attractive going to the parlors, where beautiful women greet you with a charming smile and get on with it. Down to business. THAT'S approximately HOW DATING SHOULD BE - AMONG GROWN ADULTS at least (minus the sex on the first date part of course)!

JSmuve · Answer

I don't know how women view dating/relationships these days, but I am turned off by how a lot of women behave. With all the social media and dating apps that essentially cater to them, dating has never been easier for them in terms of choice. And with all that choice, they've just let it go to their heads. They don't feel the need to meet a guy half way because there are dozens of guys throwing themselves at them online, willing to put in all of the effort. Because of this, they expect guys to do this and that, while not really offering much themselves or appreciating the guy's efforts. It feels like we're just a circus animal performing tricks for them.

A lot of them don't even act feminine anymore either and forgot how to actually treat a guy properly, or never even learned in the first place. They treat us as disposable, probably a result of their abundance of choice mentality, and would rather spend time on their phones updating their social media than actually meaningfully engage with a guy. And their personalities are either flat, too masculine, or they come with so much emotional baggage that you either can't connect with them, or you're running for the hills.

I think a lot of this could be corrected if guys 1) stopped throwing undeserved attention at women, and 2) had higher standards for what behaviour they'd accept from women. But in this day and age, if guys did that, I'm not sure how many women would get a date. Relationships would probably grind to a halt.

ineedatan · Answer

It's finding someone who shares the same values as to what "dating" means to them that's tricky. See, issue is, that many like to keep their options open when dating and love to dragggggg it for weeks on end to call what's going on as "official". How I view and vue dating is, that if I date you, my goal is to marry you. As I'll put the work to grow and build what we have, I don't wish to date as a "hobby" or to "pass time". I haven't given up on relationships, it's just that I haven't found a guy who has the potential.

BCA6010 · Answer

Eh not necessarily. The fact that so many women are so overtly just looking for sex and nothing else makes it easy to pass them up and not waste my time.

On the other hand, I do think that the sheer volume of men and women who are just looking for hookups has increased substantially, and that in turn has disuaded a lot of people who don't want anything less than a meaningful relationship from even trying anymore. I personally have gotten significantly more picky about not deviating from what I like in a woman, though that is pretty typical as men get older anyway.

ecfresh · Answer

Hasn’t turned me off completely but its more challenging because expectations have shifted in this tinder generation.

It seems like In the beginning of the relationship now there is more pressure to be sexual. And while i know the stereotype is the pressure comes from the guys, it feels the as a guy if I wait like I am used to (to get to know her) she will see that as odd or a red flag because in her past relationships the guys were willing to have sex within the first 3 dates. So the risk is her losing interest if she doesn’t see me initiating something sexual early on.

Does that make sense?

Katebfun · Answer

I still have hope and faith in the Divine plan. I believe we are puppets on a string and love happens when it is supposed to happen. Yet many of us, including my self have been on and off dating apps for a few years! I will not go back to them. Time waste for Time Wasters. Most guys have a motive, just to have sex. Most were lazy, flaky and immature, or full of themselves like crazy. I have been single for 3 years, took half that time off an focused on myself. I have been on only 1st dates, haven't even met a guy where we dated for a few months. I seem to be in this forever waiting room of love. I enjoy being single, but some days it gets me down.

TCredo · Answer

Will say I am glad I am not in the dating game these days with a pandemic/mask situation... plus the me-too movement which I believe in but I've wondered how that would work if dating - do you need to verbally ask and get verbal agreement - versus more of an overall feel for the situation and just going with it (I hope that comes across as intended... please note I said I believe in the movement - just am curious how it would be when in the early days of dating...) and the 3rd reason for being thankful is how it seems so much now is online based... not sure I'd do well with that :)

simplelikeme · Answer

LMAO let's stop and look at the people who are on the dating websites? They are all immature self-centered narcissistic people LOL there's your first problem. And then they think everybody owes them and that they think they're going to get something that they will never find, we don't live in Fairytale Land LOL. If you are not mentally and emotionally stable and comfortable in your own skin with your own company, then your ass should not be out dating LMAO that's the second problem 🤣🤣
I will pass on all that drama thank you LOL

David92506 · Answer

Yes, it has turned me off and I would like to give several reasons. This is for both men and women.

It seems like people are so self-absorbed and self-centered that they can't see beyond their own nose unless they want something from you.

People seem so toxic these days. One can say the littlest thing and the other person will explode.

It seems to me that people don't understand what "friendship" is. They view relationships as something to get.

Cherokeehp · Answer

Not at all. I’m in a very serious relationship. It’s a mess, but honestly it may be the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had with anyone in my life. Dating has pretty much been a breeze for me since I was 16. There was always a guy at my side. The hard part for me was just finding someone I actually had feelings for. I know a lot of guys only wanted me for my body, and I guess I was just waiting for someone who wanted all of me. And then I found that person.

jsincal · Answer

I’m not opposed to relationships. I’m really opposed to assholes (Yes, women can be assailed too).

I give myself a break after relationships end, so I can reflect. If anything it has refined my taste, in what I’m looking for in a woman.

Hooking up is fun and all but nothing beats the mix of emotional connection with sexual connection.

DizzyDesii · Answer

No. I’ll forever be hopeful. But it has made me rid my options faster. Like i used to wanna play around and get to know more than one person then go for the one who seemed more like me. Now it would be like talk to one at a time and throw that option away real quick when u realize we have no future goals in common

Reaperbot666 · Answer

hookup culture, social media and the internet in general ruined dating. seems like many people are never happy with what they have. so they continue to look for someone or something better. without working out the things with their current situation.

so I opted out years ago. figure if someone comes a long who shows interest in me. then I might consider dating them. but not going out of my way for nothing.

bodukem · Answer

There was a time when I wanted a relationship more than anything but considering how often people will date multiple people at the same time or have multiple friends with benefits or say they want a relationship but they just want to say they're in a relationship without doing anything that's actually part of being in one I have given up all thoughts on the subject and have decided to live that single life but if something should happen awesome though I'm definitely not looking for it anymore.

Jjpayne · Answer

To me, it's more about the modern dating process, it's much harder to do... Social media has made us much more comfortable with those close in our circle but being so comfortable we don't have anything in person anymore that's not started digitally first.

here's the thing. Girls have a lot of dating control now due to the digital options. They take no risks and only play the safe bets. But my theory is that while it keeps girls safe it also pushes away guys they could have married by now because of their perfect fit for them. Girls are so focused on trying to make matches so perfect that they lose their perfect matches that they never knee they were looking for

elisa_0 · Answer

I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it. But I think people take relationships too seriously which is why they end up getting hurt. I can’t speak for others but I take a very playful, light approach to relationships and dating, but I also try to be clear with my intentions so that I don’t end up hurting someone.

I think if you have other things in mind, you should be clear with your partner.

FatherJack · Answer

Yes a major factor , combined with any desire to go dating has naturally faded , one advantage of of getting older , the hormones are not screaming at me anymore... just a barely audible whisper now... plus I have less & less patience with people in general with each passing day !! Also , I am a single dad , so undesirable to women anyway... the dating market is a male heavy sausage fest , vast numbers of available men with no " baggage " .

MadBoy · Answer

Mostly. I'd still like to meet that special someone one day. But right now the only thing I can really think about relationship wise is actually keeping in contact with my friends and hoping to god they keep in contact with me. ... Kinda feel like a Social Link/Confidant in the Persona games, where I keep texting to meet up or chat with someone and end up with no response...

Porcelaine · Answer

The way others view relationships has nothing to do with me. :) I know they dont speak for everyone, and everyone is different. I have a pretty good judge of character, so I trust myself to choose a guy that is not a creep or a womanizer.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Ok. So after reading this most people complain about similar things. Thats how both men and women just use each other for sex in various ways.

Women stop opening your legs. Men will not date you if they perceive you to be easy. Men will like you, want to fuck you, want to casually date you... but not go further than that. So stop being easy.

Men. y'all are dumb. You can't make a ho a housewife. If she's being easy then she's never going to be your girl... even if she is your girl... id bet money she will cheat or dump you. So unless you want to share you are best to just move on and not waste time with hos.

JamesBlackDragon · Answer

What's up with people thinking it's these days it has always been like this the only difference is we have the Internet and we have the information and access to the information faster then people did back in the past cheating having fuck buddies friends with benefits has always been a thing

To answer your question no

Flower7 · Answer

The lack of ability to be monogamous is what has made me less interested in dating, more than anything.

PonyCarGirl98 · Answer

Yes, I think so. Feeling like you aren't the right "type" based on the socialization of men and women when they are growing up. Some men say 'women have control in dating' but I really don't think so. I don't know why people think that.

JackSmy · Answer

I don't care what others are doing, or thinking! I meet and date who I want, and sometimes it takes a long time to find someone I am really interested in, and we share things in common! Sadly, most of the ones I really connect with are on the other side of the PLANET! SO that makes 'dating' difficult, but sometimes it's good to share some connection, as best we can.

OlderThanILook · Answer

Yes. People require way too much nowadays. It feels like I'm applying to work at a mega-corporation when I ask a girl on a simple date. I can't deal with the contempt I get for being unattractive and untalented. I'd rather just stay single and bitter than sacrifice my pride and jump through hoops for a girl.

Anonymous · Answer

No. I have a first date with a nice lady tomorrow night.

pervertedjester · Answer

It hasn't turned me off completely, I just can't find a woman who's on par with the last one. But out of the last 8 years I've only been casually looking for a woman the past 2yrs. It's not something I'd rush into though.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Nope, I just have to be patient and careful and make sure the person I'm with is good and decent, a good fit for me and shares my same or similar views on the subject.

Avicenna · Answer

Rather than attitudes toward dating, I've found personal flaws to be much more of an issue. Mental illness is the biggest and most other flaws are derived from that.

potatoiswhoiam · Answer

Not completely but it's made me not seek a partner anymore. Just going with the flow and living my life.

Amanda2 · Answer

I just rush less people lie in the beginning so I wait on their actions to determine if I want to continue or not

Commander_Red · Answer

I gave up trying to find love. I only got 1 life. I'm not using up my time to play this BS. If I find love, I want it to grow organically, not because I had to play a stupid game.

Shark_61695 · Answer

Meh, there isn't any point. It seems no one wants to date these days... women claim men only want sex, men claim women only want sex. I just want to grow old with someone who I feel comfortable with.

KingdomForAKiss · Answer

It is definitely a turn off but not completely. I know there are some good people out there.

humanearth · Answer

With everyone with this "fuck and dump" mind set. If I was single I would rather wear a pink bikini and fuck and dump myself

es20490446e · Answer

When you want to get to know if a person is good as a partner, which do you think is a better way to do it? Before or while dating?

COMMODOREII · Answer

Nah im looking forward and getting back out there. 😎 Watch out ladies, the Elephant Man cometh. 😛😉😎

yenofed840 · Answer

Not real dating. It is timepass dating. Real love do not need dating. When it happens, your heart and blood in a vein will tell you. it is my personal experience

Be4rdy · Answer

Yea pretty much. I give up chasing women, sick of their bs sick of being ghosted like why can't folk just tell the truth even if it is by text it's better than being ignored

crmoore · Answer

No. It's only turned me off to dating those specific kinds of people.

GreenGold1992 · Answer

not at all, I believe there is always somebody for everybody, no matter how difficult the times.

Anonymous · Answer

Absolutely but it's not the sole reason.  I guess I knew I wasn't made to date at 16. It would almost alter who I am to do so. That's why my relationships never last long 😊.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Yep I dropped out of dating about 10 years ago and to this day do not miss it

Pighttussy · Answer

Relationships are too fragile these days. One small disagreement and people start exploring other options. "Till death do us part" weeps in its own grave. Also to mention women these days have become more and more materialistic and the nice guys still finish last. Thousands of men take their own lives after being heart broken.

I think the problem is that women don't know what exactly they want. I've seen them sleep with rich assholes who treat them like shit and reject/friendzone the men that'd treasure her and then writing paragraphs on instagram about how they can't find a nice guy.

At least men know what they want and it's more than just sex. They want to be hugged and feel loved. But apparently that's too much to ask for in 2020.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know. I’ve never dated. All I see if women complaining about men in the face of a wealth of a wealth of options and I don’t what to make of any of it. It just seems gross.

Never had the chance to experience it and figure it out myself. Apparently everyone is already far too experienced and jaded to have any formative romantic or sexual experience with. Feels pretty messed up.

CubaPirate · Answer

No because I'm in a very loving and long standing one

AdithyaR · Answer

Kind of Since I'm an extreme textbook romantic, i find it hard to find someone on the same wavelength.

cush_ebo · Answer

Turn off. I would rather tease in nightclub than try to date. ... too much work for me to go break my soul by now... unless we argue about goals.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

No. There are enough low-maintenance, manufactured drama-free quality women out there for me to continue trying.

cth96190 · Answer

It was the actions of women, both individually and collectively, that caused me to walk away.
A man can be rejected, used, disrespected, cheated on and experience a bait and switch only so many times before he concludes that the risk and cost exceed any potential benefit.
To express it another way, kick a dog often enough and it learns to stay away.

Ninjava · Answer

No I don’t care about relationships. I like only caring for myself.

Anonymous · Answer

Yep, the view that the man has to pay for everything.

The pressure from your S. O. to plaster them all over your social media.

Expecting to give up your privacy by sharing passwords etc.

Girls competing with other girls as to who has the best boyfriend.

No thanks.

mrgspoter · Answer

Yes for me it has or I'm just not lucky to find normal, seems to be a lot of lies n fake acting ladys.

supercutebutt · Answer

Yup. And i am not alone. Most people where I come from do gloryhole hookups instead of going on traditional dates.

888theGreat · Answer

I think it is all about me , and two can't be all about me and ever make three.

With the way people view dating/relationships these days, has it turned you off dating/relationships completely?

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Do you believe modern dating has lessened yearning in relationships?

With the way people view dating/relationships these days, has it turned you off dating/relationships completely?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Do you believe modern dating has lessened yearning in relationships?

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