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I hated it back when I was younger. Girls would be eager to go out with you and you’d go through several dates spending money and getting mixed signals. I always had to be careful with what I said or did as you would never know where you stood. It’s like they were waiting for this “sign” to come out of nowhere and tell them it was ok to have feelings for you. Then one day, you call them and they dodge your call. So, you ask their friend and they tell you “she likes you but only as a friend”. “You’re really sweet but she’s looking for something else”. Then you get pissed because of all the time and money you wasted.
Waiting some time is okay but there has to be some type of cut off. After a month im starting to feel things are going well, stop me before I start falling fast. The deeper in I get the worse its going to hurt
At one point the friend zone was terrifying it felt like doom and gloom but I've realized that its a perfect way to still have them in your life while you move on and search elsewhere. So I can take a friend zone with grace.
You are a gem 💎
Personally I have been surprisingly happy in the end to have been "banished" to the proverbial friend zone after having spent a great deal of time and learned what the person who I was initially attracted to physically actually revealed the type of woman she was in reality. We can only get the real story when residing in the friend zone. I'm just actually very happy to have the many female friends I have been blessed with. They are an invaluable commodity when I get close to being in a relationship. No better judge ever existed to give you the real story about a woman than a woman who calls you her brother.
How important is it for you to know this?
- Very important!
How much time can/will you give them?
- Depends on my love for her and how she acts with me after.
Is it better having some contact with them, developing a friendship with them, or waiting to see if they will develop feelings for you... or would you always rather know immediately, cut your losses, and not spend more time waiting or hanging out with them?
- It's better to have some contact with her. I that way she can see how she feels about me and I can also feel if she likes me or not. Even if I have to endure liking her and not be with her for that time.
-When is it worth the gamble, and when is it just annoying and a waste of time?
Do you always feel one way, that it falls one way, typically, or is each situation different/unique?
Will you ever be content with being just friends?
- After I distance myself for some time to gather myself sure.
Eh tbh I kinda feel guys put themselves there. Make ur move and let it be known what u want. If she reject u there two options. If the friendship worth it, stay but accept and take steps to move on and dont sit hoping she will return ur feeling one day. She told u no and maybe one day that change but for ur own good it's not good to hope for that. If the friendship not worth it leave and don't feel guilty. Just explain ur feeling and let them know ur sorry but what u want is a relationship and it friendship and u can't stick around for the friendship without the relationship.
Was recently talking to a lady, that told me after she finished my class she had a crush on me. So I played along, them it became cute "good night" texts. So when we had dinner, as I was leaving I asked "would you like to make this a regular thing?" She told me "I wanna be your friend, not date you. I want to focus on my kid" etc. Cool
Guess what? Those cute messages now stopped from me, and I'm going to see how much effort she will put into our "friendship". I'll start to push out the first text a few days, then a couple weeks, then about six weeks. If she won't make effort in the meantime to text first, guess we aren't friends.
It's a tough place to be... It's nice to be affirmed and to be given a source of confidence in my manship... To know that I could be a desirable partner...
I'd like a good friend but I'd also like that friend to help me to find a relationship if she is just gonna friend zone me, I might as well use her insight
I never liked women who played mind games or hard to get. If they weren't interested, they weren't interested. I at least need signs of interest and progress. If she can't make up her mind or is keeping her options open, I can move on and do the friendzone thing myself. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Plus, I was never one for "crushing" on someone just because of their looks. Their had to be a connection.
Yeah definitely after meeting them a few times I want to know if there is any romantic interest or spark. If not then no big deal but I’ll assume it’ll never change because wasting time on someone just prevents you/holds you back from meeting someone else or possibly even being OPEN to meeting someone else
I get friend zoned or denied all the time. Women want a man who is some one that will never exist. Every man has a few imperfections and they love to magnify them and dwell upon them and ask the man to change it. No matter what they are never accepted. in my opinion... FML
Yep.
It's stupid to not tell someone how you feel. If it will hurt them, then it hurts them but at least they can move on or you have given them a green light to do so. If you don't want someone misleading you, whether it be a person or your bosses at work, then don't do it to others. If I don't like you, I will let you know. I expect the same.
The what? Friendzone?
I'm not waiting. I will either go on dates with a girl or (much more importantly) I will keep making more money 💰💰💰.
And if I do neither? I sleep 12 hours long 😁
"But what if you want love and sex with women?"
That's why I keep making more money!
• getting closure is the most important thing for me
• depends on the person actually but for me I'd say lifetime :c
• losing a friend and the person you like? That sucks.
I'd prefer staying as friends if possible.
• its worth the gamble when you feel like it is can't really explain much here.
• its usually one way
• yes ofcourse, its her decision and ill be respecting it.
That doesn't happen to me personally but I've also been in a relationship for 6 years so I hardly remember what it is like to "get" girls.
I am going to say that usually, it means that you are everything they wish their future man to be. However, by calling yourselves friends, she won't have to ruin what you all have. Woman go for assholes by nature because they are attracted to alpha male persona. You must lack that characteristic which is why she remains afraid to commit to a nice guy. Because you l are not showing that side she thinks is "hott" "manly" etc.. show her that you are a man who is willing to risk it all to win her the big prize and show her you can give her that other half
Typically i will just ask people pit for coffee or lunch or somthing chill in a place they pick if i am interested in them, this is just so they can know me and I can know them better. And if they don't want to than i just take that as them not being interested, though i will still be their friend, i just will put any romantic idea on the back burner and try to be a good friend.
I believe girls can be tricky to read. I want girls to be more seductive and take what they want. After me too it feels good to know she is interested in you. If she shows you with physical approaches it’s awesome, because I just want to be nice and please her feelings.
I will notice when I approach her or at the very latest on first date whether she is romantically interested. If not: "It sure was glad to know ya... bye bye!"
I just take the pump-gun approach to dating: rapid fire with many bullets, one will eventually hit.
"I got the shotgun blues, shotgun blues. I can't wait here forever, I got too much here to lose."
Lyrics by GN'R. - Listen to their "Use Your Illusion II" album to get the right feeling...
I basically consider anything other then a yes as a no. Unless I get s direct yes from her, I consider it a rejection and walk away. Simple.
Simple. Done! 🎯
Yeah I'm really bad at reading people so I gotta keep it as simple as possible.😅
If you're seeing someone for a long time and you decide that you would like to take it further and she doesn't granted it would be hurtful but I would get over it
True.
But I was more referencing a scenario where you haven't even started dating yet. You like her, have approached her, maybe messaging some, but you can't figure out if she is interested in starting something or not.
In that case all you got to do is ask her the worst she can do is say no
She won't often say a straight 'no.' She'll avoid doing that. That's how females often think and act.
True and then if she avoids it there's a sign that says no
Ta da! Now that's how you decrypt that scenario.
Good job.
Thanks honey
It’s selfish to keep a friend who wants something more at arm’s distance. They obviously want something more. You have to tell them. I’ve had that a few times and I’m ashamed to say I let them stay that way for a year until they moved on.