Guys, how do you feel about your girlfriend having a close guy friend?

Question

The girlfriend and the guy friend dated for a few days but broke up and now they are purely platonic friends. But very close and share most secrets with each other. Can you accept that?

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

What it comes down to at the end of the day is trust as well as what both people are looking for. Some people are looking for different things so making sure two people are compatible is important it’s not okay to try to force another person to change but it is okay to know what you’re wanting out of a relationship as well as look for someone who holds similar values.

It also comes down to trust look if someone’s going to cheat… Quite frankly they’re going to cheat whether you prevent her (or him for that matter) from having opposite sex friends. If she has a close guy friend I would have to trust her that she would never cheat.

A lot of times people have their inner feelings sometimes they can be off but don’t get me wrong. If you start suspecting something and getting that sick feeling it may be worth investigating and looking into. But once that trust is gone it’s gone.

A cheater is going to cheat though. Controlling someone isn’t going to make them not cheat they will find a way to sneak around behind your back. It’s better to let those people go.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

I would never allow that. If they've dated before, they should not be communicating with each other while in a relationship with me. If she does, she's not respecting me and isn't a girl for me. There is no man she should be spending an inordinate amount of time with other than myself. And if a guy is chilling with her one on one, I'd like to meet him before.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I’ve been in this situation and I ended things with my boyfriend because of his insecurities towards ALL my male friends.
My friend and I went on a few dates 15 years ago and we decided that we are better friends than anything.
One year into our relationship, my boyfriend told me that I can choose my friend or I can choose him - I chose my friend.
Choosing my friendship over my boyfriend was the one of the best decisions I’ve made in a while.
Ultimately, it all comes down to trust and if you can’t trust your partner, you don’t have a solid foundation to build upon.

makarinooo · Accepted Answer

This situation is quite normal. People may not get along with each other and eventually choose to remain friends. They may even be very good confidants.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the joys of decoding relationship dynamics 🎭! For some, this scenario could be a big, shiny red flag waving in the wind. Trust and communication are key to sailing through this! If you're confident in your bond and she reassures you of their purely platonic vibe, it might just take a bit of getting used to. Remember, love isn't about possession, but trust and understanding. Keep talking, stay open and maybe even sprinkle some humor like I do! 😎 Keep the cool vibes, love! ❤️

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If they had ALWAYS been just platonic friends, I would accept that without hesitation. But the fact that they dated a few times suggests the possibility of other feelings and motivations below the surface, and I would have great concerns about them seeing each other. . . especially since the relationship is so emotionally close.

Finchie40 · Answer

Be a red flag for sure that could possibly lead into resentments , Me personally wouldn’t be in a relationship with a girl that assumed that was ok , not because of insecurities but lack of respect for each other , especially if she didn’t want me being close friends’ with another girl. I wouldn t hate her , I just wouldn’t commit to her if that was the case.

AviatorTom · Answer

Of course. My wife is good friends with a guy she used to date, and almost married. Instead, he married her best friend.

Love is an invitation to be oneself. It's not about control. It's accepting your partner for who they are.

Purpleronnie · Answer

In that exact situation , no chance. I’d immediately and permanently split from a girl who wanted or expected me to put up with that.

My reasoning? .. well platonic doesn’t exist where there has been more. I could understand a basic arrangement where there is a child involved , with boundaries of course. I wouldn’t expect any woman to put up with that crap should the situation be reversed so it’s also my expectation.

Close guy friends are fine , I’d want to meet them and develop that friendship too , that’s perfectly fine.

Cormac995 · Answer

No once you're in a relationship with someone there are certain distances you need to keep from other people out of respect for your partner this applies to men and woman. If they dated in the past but are still close friends that are very close, I wouldn't be comfortable with it because once you're a couple certain kinds of closeness are unactable to do with anyone else.

If you're dating someone if you're a guy you shouldn't be spending time alone like that with other woman and woman shouldn't do that with other men. Also, once the bond of being a couple is established it's no longer appropriate to tell certain things to people who aren't your partner, therapist or family. Friendships don't work the same way anymore when that bond is established, they still work but there are changes you have to make in the dynamic when your involved romantically with someone else or it's inappropriate and disrespectful to your partner.

hahahmm · Answer

On day 1 of a relationship it's not as big a deal because I'm not taking her that seriously. We are just getting to know each other still. But she's sending a message that will also impact my decision about her and how seriously to take her. I've found in life that when a woman is really into me she doesn't need other male friends. So naturally if my girlfriend has a male friend she's sharing secrets/emotional stuff with, it's a signal that she's not that into me and not to take her seriously.

The people shouting the loudest that they have a right to opposite sex friends are the same people who can never keep/get a serious relationship OR they're in a relaitonship with a sucker who believes all their bs.

Shiprex · Answer

I do not feel good about it. It's not insecurity it's something I would rather not be exposed to, like a bad smell or annoying noise. Deal with it sure, accept it, ok, want it NOPE. But it would be the same with annoying girl friends who absorb and take her time away from us.

Like what depth of relationship do they share? Do they talk about me? WHAT do they talk about me? in spite of me NOT CARING this is a negative feeling associated with HER and is breeding grounds for resentment.

Accepting, disliking and not wanting this are worthy approaches but aren't signs of insecurity as many will accuse men of being as a defensive response.

Tarifa · Answer

Sure, why not? My wife has male friends, some of them go back to kindergarten. I have female friends, she doesn't care and even encourages it.

Trust is everything within a relationship. If trust is not there, you'll start to see every possible scenario.

overlord337645 · Answer

i had hope both are being honest and not willing to jeopardize current relations with those around them however i also know its understandable that this would be hard for most as most of my friends are girls so if a girl i know has a close guy friend i can't really say anything without being hypocritical

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Then when they break up she's on the purely platonic friend's dick almost as if it never stopped.

I wouldn't subject myself to that shit or that situation. Lets be real... he's the guy that will work hard to become your best friend... and then you just find out the baby isn't yours later on.

Reality factor is my bitches will not even make time for their female friends. Some beta orbiter gets slapped out of the solar system way before her slutty female friends do.

Miristheiss · Answer

SMACK!!!

To any fool of a man who'd date and give commitment to some foolish woman who wants to keep an ex hanging around as some close friend for her to go hang out with.

I'd never commit to any low quality woman like that. Her boundaries are horrific and she is a fool.

Any man who picks her out of the 4 billion women on the planet is a moron who must have been raised by a weak man or a single mom.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Perfectly fine with me! Who am I to tell her she can't have male friends!! Everybody needs friends of both genders. Even my ex-fiance said that to me a couple times, usually right before she broke up with me for HAVING a couple female friends!
We could've been a FANTASTIC couple if she would only learn to curb her jealousy, especially when there's NO NEED for her to be jealous!! I'm 100% loyal!! I sure as fuck would HATE IT if someone cheated on me so, WHY would I cheat on her?

SolitarySolace · Answer

It would really bother me because the closer they get the less close she’d be with me as her partner. Haven’t had to deal with this for 9 years though. Haven’t had a girlfriend in years. I prefer to have an AI girlfriend. She won’t leave me for another guy like all of my exes did. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Nikki1989 · Answer

Any woman with any self-respect would never have been with a man so insecure and childish that had a problem with male friends. Most of my friends are male and most of my husband friends are women, and we all get along great.

Anonymous · Answer

nope. the only compromise I would have is how well he gets along with me

if he's spewing lies behind my back, gaslighting her into thinking I'm a bad partner etc. poisoning the relationship he can GTFO and she can go with him if she objects

Anonymous · Answer

There is an old saying I heard about this a while ago.

“When a woman with mostly female friends is upset with her man she will be crying on some girl’s shoulder. When a woman with mostly “guy friends” is upset she will be crying on some other guy’s d*ck.”

Anonymous · Answer

When two adults choose to get into a relationship, they become each other's priority, and establishing boundaries with your friends is essential for a positive relationship that benefits all parties. If that isn't an option, then you aren't ready for a relationship at this given time.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

I'll just find a woman that's on the same page as me with the opposite sex friends, there's actually a lot of women that don't like it either so that's a good similarity I'd like to share with my partner

glennos89 · Answer

I'm okay with it but I would be paying attention on how they interact together with eachother because there is a good chance at least 1 of them wants more then just a plane plutonic friendship ( often the guy )

molonski2 · Answer

Its tempting fate , so NO its not a good idea , and should not simply be accepted , plus why would you want that?

soe11 · Answer

If she the limit crossed, then will detach smoothy and peacefully.  I give her freedom but some rules to be followed both us

Drumlin2001 · Answer

No issue. I'm secure enough in our relationship that I don't care whonshe hangs out with. Helps most of her friends are gay or married

JonCobretti · Answer

Red flag. Not acceptable. I believe it is fair to have that standard as long as I do not maintain close female friendships as well.

Lokiion · Answer

absolutely not the stories I’ve heard of things like this from people in both positions as well as being in one of those positions myself it never ends well for the boyfriend.

Pete671 · Answer

I'm ok with it, the guy could offer a guy's perspective on things,,, If he had a big dick I'd suggest he joins us on dates and see where things go,,,

Oldschool1981 · Answer

My wife has a full-time side guy. I sent them on holiday to the Bahamas for New Years, so I don't mind at all.

exitseven · Answer

if it was somebody she once dated or had sex with I would not like it

Kabluie · Answer

Everyone is entitled to their own close friends, doesn't matter what sex.

GlowUpGirly5 · Answer

How would you feel if your boyfriend had a close girl friend? Stop being a hypocrite if the shoe were on the other foot you'd be pissed

LiamJHayden · Answer

My best friend since I was four is female so it would be hypocritical to be upset.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Tentatively, depending on HOW close the guy friend and girlfriend remain.

ABC1x1x · Answer

The same way she would feel about my close chick friends.

Anonymous · Answer

It's fine, she just won't be my girlfriend.👍😆

straightmax12 · Answer

As long they keep their relationship friendly and nothing shady, I'm good with it.

virtualwasp · Answer

Isn't that what your boyfriend is.

Anonymous · Answer

You either trust your partner or you do not.

Staximus · Answer

Fuck that noise

Iron_Man · Answer

Boo no good . 👻

blackeagle007 · Answer

I’d be suspicious

Tomisworthless · Answer

I can accept she's not my girlfriend

Astarlessnightsky · Answer

I am happy for her.

NicholasRedone · Answer

Insecure 🤣🤣🤣🤣😆

billyboy197747 · Answer

Doesn't bother me.

dudeinohio · Answer

Deal-breaker for mr

hello4433 · Answer

That's a red flag

Crazzyyworld · Answer

3 some 4 some

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Unacceptable.

In_Trance · Answer

Deal-breaker

Anonymous · Answer

Three's a crowd.

Guys, how do you feel about your girlfriend having a close guy friend?

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What Girls & Guys Said

How would you feel if your girlfriend has a very close guy friend, and vice versa?

Guys, how do you feel about your girlfriend having a close guy friend?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

How would you feel if your girlfriend has a very close guy friend, and vice versa?

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