Do women tend to overthink more than men when it comes to dating?

[Aliyahha]

[Brykuenzel]

“ girl brain” on a date. “ he’s so sexy. omg I wonder what our babies would look like? Do you think they will be lactose intolerant like their mother? I hope not. Cheese makes the world go round. Hopefully they love chewing gum as well. Chewing gum is great. I have no clue what this guy is even talking about. Good place to smile and insert a wink right here. But what if he thinks I’m coming onto him? What if I get pregnant tonight? We better stop by Walmart on the way to his place to pick up some baby clothes. Hopefully he has pizza. Pizzas great it really makes the world go round. I wonder if he has diapers of if I should pick some up when we stop for the baby clothes. Wait what was his name again?

[Xoxocutekitty]

Cause a lot of immature guys (and girls) would much rather do the minimum amount of pro relationship behavior to keep access to sex, companionship, and relationship benefits than cut a someone loose and be single, alone, and sex free.

On the receiving end, it comes across as someone blowing hot and cold, interested one day, not following up their word on another. This is paired with a stronger interest for a fleeting second to overcome the doubt and it's justthis sort of endless cycle. This is what causes the overthinking, the evasive communication.

Guys overthink too. And in reality, you want the kind of person who overthinks because it means they are thoughtful, attentive, and considerate of your opinion.

[Jamie05rhs]

Then you need to make a commitment to one another. Have more words of reassurance followed up by congruent actions.

[Mystic_Nova]

Yes, I think on top of it being bioligocal, due to selective mating habits, it's also a saftey habit.

Women are told very young to be aware of men, not just because people can come for you for financially, but we get told that men are wolves in sheep's clot ju ing and how weak we are compared to men and how men can overpower us. This has mahybwomen paranoid and subconsciously overthinking everything when in relationships and even getting courted.

[bluetoblack99]

In short yes. But the better answer is the person who has more interest usually overthinks more.

In the early stages of meeting an attractive girl a guy might secretly be very nervous about his approach. He knows he needs tight game and if she is so/so about him then any misstep spells rejection. He mind find himself overthinking it all.

However once she starts falling in love with him he can relax (a little) but in the early stages most women are looking for a reason to disqualify a guy. They are testing him. Much higher barrier to entry.

[AmandaYVR]

Interesting.
Quite honestly, I'm not sure the disqualification period ever really ends with women. They expect more out of relationships, where the guys tend to want to chill and exist without always having the ears pricked up/being on-call.
However I've also heard an analysis (from a guy) where once women are invested, they are reluctant to give up, and will also tolerate quite a lot. So I don't know, do those two theories cancel each other out... maybe.

[bluetoblack99]

@AmandaYVR that’s accurate. I can understand from a biological perspective why women are picky. They want someone to protect them and the baby.

But then you see so many of them falling for aggressive assholes. From an evolutionary perspective those guys are much likely to cheat, abandon, beat their mates and be shitty/abusive fathers. That actually negates that evolutionary entire argument on why women find these guys appealing. Think about it.

But it’s true that once a man “has her” we would like to relax a bit. We do NOT enjoy the early stages of the chase. Especially if we have been rejected multiple times.

[OlderAndWiser]

I think high IQ people - men and women - tend to overthink relationships.

[DiegoO]

Insecure people also overthink. In fact I think is more a sign of insecurity than high IQ.

[ElvenMr]

@DiegoO Maybe they are overthinking everything, because they have high IQ and are insecure as a consequence?

[DiegoO]

@ElvenMr it could be a combo, but for me it has to do with insecurity. Even a person with an average IQ can have insecurities in a relationship. 🤷🏽‍♂️

[jennifer_bloom]

In the early stages I think the man does more thinking but in the later stages I think it depends on who has the most power in the relationship - the person with less power does more thinking

[Linda5368]

You're absolutely right. That's precise.

[On_the_other_hand]

Yes. A girl can obsess over just one text from a guy all day. "What did he mea by that? He didn't use an emoji that time? What did he mean when he used the word "like""

on and on and on. That is why when a couple gets into an argument later the girl will say. "Well last week you said XYZ" and the guy will say no I didn't and then she will repeat it back to him word for word, because she has been obsessing over one off hand comment.

Not only that, sometimes she will tell him what he meant by it, when it isn't what he meant at all.

[worldscolide]

I dont know if women in general do, but most of my ex's did.. When she would ask what im thinking i would tell her, it ends up being something simple, and she keeps asking about it, and eventually i had to say things like "Thats it, there is no more to it, no more detail you can squeeze out of me" then she got mad at me and said i was abusive because i couldnt give her what she was asking for.. Im sorry, im simple, im straight to the point, Im honest to a fault, and some women can't handle that..

[Moonchild714]

Oh Yes!! Women Over Think Everything in Life!!! I remember when my Husbanb Proposed to me with his Son they both said Will you Marry Us? I sat there Shocked and trying to figure out if they really wanted to get Married or just saying what they thought I wanted to hear then I thought they know something I don't... 30 mins that went on before I finally said Yes!!! Women are Crazy Over Thinkers then We Often Act with Our Emotions more than Logic in Relationships...

[Sir_Glance_A_Lot]

Lol I don't know why but your story is kinda funny😂

[Moonchild714]

@Sir_Glance_A_Lot it is a funny story I'm one of the Crazy Gals

[Don-_-Don]

Generally it's hard to say, it depends on how much you value the relationship I guess. If yiu vakue it a lot then you'd naturally wouldn't want ti do anything to fuck it up, which can lead to overthinking on the smallest things within the relationship.

[90sVibe]

According to psychology studies YES. It's actually really normal for women to overthink more than men because of how they process, store, and perceive information. There's a lot of interesting studies out there that I've found ad a psychological major that people can easily access if they want statistical data on it. Women make more emotional based decisions as well as dwell on emotional thoughts more than men do.

[lucky840]

Omg yes women are sometimes their own demise when it comes to over thinking and over analyzing everything. But men can also take part in this. But if they are ment to be, they should be able to communicate and break through each other's walls. Because they are probably worried about the same things.

[MannMitAntworten]

I just responded to a post about self sabotaging because they fear unreciprocated love... I’d say this does appear to be a theme with the women I become involved with. Over thinking and self doubt. A complete 180° difference from how the relationships begin.

[triff]

I think this is a 2 way street if you have an intense relationship then your bound to have the jealously bug problems of this could appear from one of the couple or even both It does sound the relationship may be on a sticky wicked on the trusting side

[Anonymous]

Girls do, no doubt. Please if I asked a girl, hey lets go out on Friday night, ill pay for dinner, just chat and eat for 2 hrs max and you can head home. That seems like a game of cat/mouse for a few wks/few months, then she overthinks is this guy a freak or weirdo, what should i wear, talks to her gfs, contemplates even more... I mean sheesh 1) i dont need the advice of my guy friends, 2) i dont care what she wears as long as it's modest, 3) if girls/women assume a guy/man is a weirdo should i overthink and think she's some crazy b____?

[djmzes]

Simple

[JollyRogersbandaid]

At times yes, but men can over think things too. I have also found women do think about men cheating more so then men thinking about women cheating. It really depends on how comfortable you are with eachother

[KingJared24]

There was a post about a guy with a girlfriend wishing that another girl and her children stays healthy, saying congratulations to that girl for an award and said stay safe. The guy is friends with that girl on Facebook and I really don’t see how what he is doing is really wrong so yes women do tend to overthink more than men

[ThiccBoai]

In my case it's probably a no. I'm great at overthinking. My brain never stops thinking about stuff. New, old, doesn't matter. So if I'm nervous about something, I'm probably the one overthinking the most

[Anonymous]

No, just depends on the person, especially if you are a thinker. I overthink all the time and especially with women. I have far too many questions and tend to overwhelm women. I really dig into their motive and have difficulty deciding it which is very thought intensive.

[MDollarBill]

Guy's thoughts are much more linear. If anything, we may tend to UNDER think things. female thoughts, on the other hand, tend to take speculation, interpretation, nuance and second-guessing take a whole new neurotic level.

[luvstoned4him]

well for me, if am giving him my heart, I overthink, like love is serious business to me. I dont wanna be hurt or hurt anyone and I want something long lasting

[Madhatter920]

About the same, I think. Everyone is clueless, blindly stumbling around, but never willing to simply speak to each other so you can figure it out.

[Aliyahha]

Absolutely. This generation is content with toxic and has come to believe toxic is love and no one communicates anymore. Everyone just expects everyone to know what goes on in their head and what they’re feeling which ends with a lot of misunderstanding and miscommunication.

[Madhatter920]

Yeah, it's a real problem. I feel like a broken record saying it, but my advice anytime someone is having relationship problems always essentially boils down to "communication is key."

[Oeuvre]

hell yes.