Is it a turn-off to a guy if a woman is more successful than he is?

Question

ChurchOfSteel · Accepted Answer

TL;DR: This study showed that men like the *idea* of dating a smart (or potentially successful woman); but, in reality, they don't. Basically, do you think you can trust men's word?

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167215599749?etoc= \

I always tell people. If you wanna be good with the opposite sex, don't ask the opposite sex. If you wanna know if men like smart, successful women, ask smart, successful women. As humans, we can't really see the forest through the trees. We see others easier than we see ourselves.

It depends on the success level, in my opinion. It looks like most guys are saying no, but I'm not sure about that. I've seen studies showing.

Ultimately, however, I think this is a more concerning issue for women than men. If we can agree on the premise that women have more stringent requirements in their mating choices than men do, then going from here should make sense. Otherwise, we have to come to agreement on that premise.

So, if women have higher requirements (and men will generally fuck anything with a hole), then what happens when a woman obtains higher social status?

Her desires increase in the same realm. Women truly are complicated creatures (although, men are much more complicated than we're given credit for, as well). I could write several essays on the topic. Not to display my own hubris preemptively.

Back to women's expectations. As an example, height. Short men are consistently angered by the fact that women prefer taller men. "We can't change that! It's unfair!" Yes, well, life is unfair. That said, women don't necessarily prefer "tall" men. They prefer men who are taller *than them*.

If you look around, you'll see this principle throughout women's mating choices. If the man is better than her in some area, that is preferable.

Typically, we will get to a point here where some peoples' complaint is, "Well yeah, duh, everyone wants the best they can get." True. However, does men's behavior mirror this sentiment? I would claim no. If a man obtains higher status or income, his expectations in women do not therefore prevent him from being as attracted to a lower class woman. Granted, the difference can be slight, but it is certainly still opaque.

So. As a woman climbs the social hierarchy--just as if her height climbs--her expectations climb with her.

Now. My girlfriend is Ivy League with a Masters degree and a high paying job at 23 years old. I'm a 30 year old high school drop out bodybuilder who is almost done with his A. A. S. The thing is, this is a major deficit for most women. So, I have to make up for that failing in other areas. I'm highly seductive; I have a balance of badass-to-gentleman, not too much of either, leaning more towards dominant; big dick; exceedingly selfish or selfless in bed dependent on situation; understanding and compassionate. Basically, I have good qualities which make up for our difference in social value. The six pack and bodybuilding helps, too. And, of course, women factor the future more than men do, as well. As long as a man has an upward trajectory or is *aiming* at something, and is confident in that aim, that makes him desirable, too.

All this is to say that I think, in my view, it's the wrong question. The more effective question is, "Can women be satisfied with men who aren't as successful as them and in what circumstances?" Not to project responsibility, only that I feel this is a more beneficial question for the asker.

Regardless, whomever you are, whatever you are, "game" will beat out "type" every single time. So get good with the opposite sex, and it doesn't matter what you are. Do this and you can gain a much more valuable person than otherwise.

broken_heart_at_48 · Accepted Answer

Not for me but there are a lot of men that are insecure about such things. For me it's sexy when a woman is successful plus I would think it would push me even harder not in a competition type way but to make her proud in my success like I would be in hers

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

For one of my exes it was. He wouldn't let me help him buy anything and ultimately said he didn't feel like he could succeed while with me. He wanted to be single and get his paper up before coming back to me. Lame ass excuse but he meant it

RosePrincess · Accepted Answer

Yes to some miserable guys who thinks that women are not worth anything

Not_Average · Answer

Successful women typically don’t pay less successful men any kind. Typically, if you see women complaining about men feeling inferior around them and all their success... well in reality men are just put off by their rude and overtly aggressive behavior. Comes across as masculine and unpleasant. Nothing is more unattractive than a woman who thinks being a bitch equates to confidence and dominant. What makes them even more unattractive is that they convince themselves that they’re too great for them and that’s why they’re mad. It’s delusional lol. Strong, confident, and successful women don’t act like that and they don’t complain about these things based on my experience.

JSmuve · Answer

In a ways. Guys know that women want to date up. They want a guy who, at the very least, is as successful as her. So if she's more successful than him, then he knows that she won't be very attracted to him and will likely not be gushing about him to her friends and parents because she knows she'll be judged for "settling for a guy beneath her". She'll eventually grow resentful that he isn't as successful as her and move on to a guy more her level or higher. So its not the fact that she's move successful that's a turn off. Its more how she handles it that's the turn off.

bluetoblack99 · Answer

If the guy has to be dependent on her it’s a huge turn off. But let’s say the guy makes $150k a year working in tech and she makes $350k a year as doctor.

The guy can easily make it on his own and do alright. But if he’s married to her they can live in a huge house and take many luxury vacations. He doesn’t need her to survive. But her success is nice to have.

R3DthatDude · Answer

I really don’t mind. my goals probably blooms late and that’s Okay. I try not to compare myself to others. You’re just wasting valuable energy and focus that should be put into your dreams and goals. If you’re jealous of someone else’s success then you’re most likely don’t have goals or not working hard enough to accomplish the small steps towards them

Jjpayne · Answer

I would say no myself. In fact, I would hope that it might take the pressure off of the need to have support expectations and make it less about the money and more about spending time with him to get to know him about from that. So overall it puts less pressure on the couple to make it all about support. It's not bad for them to do doing something but it's less important if the job makes more money and more about how well do you work together chemistry wise

zeitgeist057 · Answer

Not to this guy, at least. I think it's kind of sexy, actually. I'm not incredibly ambitious (at least financially, I tend to put my energy into a variety of things), but I do alright for myself. If a woman is doing better than me, that means she is putting more energy in, and I think that's hot.

godfatherfan · Answer

Personally I have no issue with it. My exwife made a lot more money then I did. I cared about my family, not my career. I was happy to let her go to nursing school and have a career, because, it shouldn't matter right? you will be together for life. But then she decided to screw other guys and throw her family away. So now that has really hurt me now as I struggle to find jobs that pay enough to maintain my home and kids.

Volk_ · Answer

No, I've never had any interest in people's income/career. The turn-off is them starting to show off and flaunt their success, status and money. If I have asked a woman out, the last thing I want is getting an earful of how strong and independent she is and how she takes care of everything.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

My husband makes a lot of money. So, do I but more. It doesn't bother him one bit that I make more than he does.

Mickey9999 · Answer

I’d say no in most cases but when it comes to a guy with self esteem issues to begin with, it could be a issue. I always made more money than my late husband and in the beginning he’d always bring it up during arguments when he was drinking

xJeremyx · Answer

If i can score a girl who earns more, it means im a heck of a person. It mesns she looked past salary, purely into character. And i can congratulate myself. Removes the pressure of earning the majority of the household income.

CindyRuns · Answer

For some very definitely. At the same time, there was a simple solution. Find a guy who appreciates the fact that you're smart, strong and driven !!!

jamesgoldman · Answer

It doesn't worry me
I'll happily portray the downtown man in regards to an uptown girl

My 2nd ex loved Chanel and Cartier and had the money to back it up... she tried to buy me a £5,000 watch (I refused on principle of I wanted to earn it)

RingOfFire · Answer

It probably would be a turnoff, but I've never experienced it. Not many women are.

SuccessfulHornDog · Answer

Not usually. I know that some women try to push the narrative that men are intimidated by that but most men don't care about a woman's job. Many successful women find themselves without a partner but that is usually caused by their own criteria. Many women don't want a man with less education or income than their own

Oboemaster27 · Answer

I feel like it just hits better if you know that they can do just as good as you and beyond. It shows that they can be independent if they need to be and that they also have a work ethic which can allow for a equal and successful relationship.

JTGoat · Answer

My wife worked really really hard and we both have sacrificed a lot to get her at the income level she's at now. There's no insecurity, because we've both been the bigger breadwinner at times. It's a partnership, though, not individuals.

Hawner · Answer

If his ego is too big, it will probably be a problem; if he is a regular man, it shouldn't. You being more successful only brings more to the house if you get together. No reason to feel threatened.

BarryMcKohkner · Answer

No, just means I can do more of things I want to do and not have to worry about bringing home the money to make you comfortable. As long as you both are happy together, it doesn't really matter.

backdoorman · Answer

I don't think a woman being more successful is a turnoff to most men, but her life priorities might be.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

It's not a turn off if she's been resourceful in getting a good career. But it IS a turn off if she's arrogant about her success. Humility is generally attractive regardless of gender, age, or financial status.

fishlipsfriend · Answer

It's a turn off for me and I am girl. I like dominate powerful men they turn me on.

Dr_Sausa · Answer

It's not a turn off, but it does make me a little uncomfortable. Makes me feel like less of a man. Not saying I wouldn't get involved with her because of that reason though.

COMMODOREII · Answer

Nope id still date a successful woman and marry her if she wants me. 😎

Reaperbot666 · Answer

not really so long as she is got a stuck up prude about it. many women don't tend to date down when it comes to a partner. who makes half or less what they do themselves.

nodnol32 · Answer

It doesn't matter. I'm only suppised to focus on my thing because if im successful i can make a decent living or a decent career in my life. Her thing is for her.

worldscolide · Answer

No.. But statistically successful men will date women who aren't successful, where as women who are successful will not date men who are not successful. In most cases even successful women won't be with someone that makes less than them.

SunnySri · Answer

No mam, it won't be for me, unless she gives more time too her work then our relationship. Both require a proper balance. If we can manage that then no problem at all.

normalice · Answer

To insecure men, probably. But as long as the girl is srill obviously into the guy, most guys aren't going to mind for long.

GingerGuy · Answer

If it doesn't bother her, I don't care. But it all depends on her attitude. Sometimes success brings an attitude that is definitely unattractive.

BlueScorpio · Answer

Men really don't care how much money a woman makes cause most men don't try to compete with women.

JPrez · Answer

Not really unless his ego is too big that he can’t handle it.

Avicenna · Answer

No, it’s only a problem to the extent she doesn’t respect him.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

No doesn't matter to me, I am more than happy for her

RemoErdosain · Answer

No, but it is a big turn-off if she considers me a failure, or less than her

Dave31989 · Answer

I have a hard time with people being more successful than me, in general

Isac132 · Answer

No, only if she doesn't treat others as less "important". If she thinks that she is a better human just because she is successful it is a turn off. Like a biiiiig one.

David_Kek · Answer

That's just one of those myths that ugly women like to tell themselves to make themselves feel better.

AdithyaR · Answer

Not at all. If anything, a successful smart woman is. ore attractive. That's the kind of person I can grow together with.

Twalli · Answer

It is to most people. It takes a very secure guy to not have a problem with it. I don't, as long as she knows she is our primary breadwinner, so the money bv she makes is not just for her.

AD240pCharlie · Answer

Nope. It's not a turn-on and not a turn-off, it's not going to affect any potential attraction to her at all.

red324 · Answer

I wonder if that would mean I could continue my frugal life style and she would just mostly use her own money to buy things she wants.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No. That situation is only a turn-off to the woman. I couldn't care less what kind of job my wife has; I will love her the same regardless.

shortster · Answer

No, I think it shouldn't matter who is more successful in a relationship. Just that both people are contributing.

Guardian45 · Answer

It is not a turn-off, but financial disparity is ALWAYS a problem regardless of gender. It was for me.

krin_m · Answer

Of course not. Why would that be? On the contrary! For me, it is a huge turn-on.  I want to have a partner who is intelligent and successful. Who doesn't?

Tiffyk · Answer

I don't think so. I've always made more money than my boyfriends. They were proud of me

BeyondCuriosity · Answer

No. There are plenty of people in this world more successful than me. Why should I care that some of them are women?

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

Here we come again with the stereotypes men a thrown in and society pressuring us.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

Nope. I've dated attorneys who make double what I make. As long as both people are happy who cares?

Dchrls78104 · Answer

It can be, if he's radically insecure or she's a diva and rubs it in his face.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

It's not a turnoff unless she starts to look at men with contempt.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Not me. That trivial nonsense doesn't bug me at all.

JakeWinston7 · Answer

Complete opposite, an independent woman who has her shit together and future planned out without depending on another man, is way more attractive

CreamySeed · Answer

Makes me insecure and causes minute man ejaculation is penis not erect enough

007kingifrit · Answer

yea i worry she wouldn't want to stay home with the kids

Tstrbrainer · Answer

Not a turn off, but the guy will feel more insecure

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Not nearly as much as in my mom’s time

snowboarder720 · Answer

Is it a turn off? No. Intimating for sure though.

shu2905 · Answer

Depends on men nature

Is it a turn-off to a guy if a woman is more successful than he is?

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