Men, is it a problem if your woman is more successful than you?

Question

I've been in 3 failed long term relationships. In the 1st one he was always trying to make me feel less attractive and smart than I actually am, while obsessing about me and being jealous of everyone. In the 2nd he just lived on my income and lied about his income (while saving a lot of money). 3rd and last one he didn't want to make any sacrifice for me... I got him his current job through my boss (my boss didn't want to loose me); I'm changing jobs (other country) and new employer also offered to help him find a job; reply "I don't need your help!". A wise woman told me that all of this happened because I am successful and too intelligent, and man can't handle women that are more successful than them. Is that true?

Crapulux · Accepted Answer

> 1st one he was always trying to make me feel less attractive and smart than I actually am, while obsessing about me and being jealous of everyone.

Typical narcissist: in order to confirm their inner image of being "king of the world" the narcissist needs to put everyone else down. Avoid these types, they're toxic.

> the 2nd he just lived on my income and lied about his income (while saving a lot of money).

Well, don't date a moocher ;)

> 3rd and last one he didn't want to make any sacrifice for me...

Hmm... that one's weird, unless you were asking for a lot. But if you got him a job, I mean, he could give you a break don't you think?

> A wise woman told me that all of this happened because I am successful and too intelligent, and man can't handle women that are more successful than them. Is that true?

Your "wise" friend is making up this reason to avoid facing the truth: the problem is that she's attracted to the wrong men. Since she is unwilling to acknowledge this and thus date the nice guys, she will keep dating assholes, which will only further confirm that she's right and all men are assholes. "Where have all the good men gone?"

Don't fall in the same trap. Try to write down everything that went wrong in your relationships and try to understand why.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Not on my end, but it has been problematic on the other end. There is a slight role reversal in the area, and I learned how to maintain things in such a way I wasn't relying on her income for our survival (you HAVE to contribute equally to keep resentment at bay).

But I have found problems with some women that end up being self conscious being the larger earner in the relationship. They want to help earn more money, even if it means the person has to sacrifice their career in the process.. which is a huge no in my book.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

In theory, it's not. In practice, it is. I have seen it happen numerous times.

ZjJaja · Answer

changing country is a big one. really if they are not wanting to do it.. just the same as it was your choice to accept the change that is one of the most dramatic corners in someone life.
i deal with it all the time in overseas relationships... women who love the relationship and having all the fun with you.. dream of America but... then they are afraid to let go of their real friends... which i know at heart... it's not better in America for most of them. they have structured balanced relationships. personally i belong in other cultures... it is more rational that i would join their world... but in reality... i'm a rolling stone and will only love to keep moving and searching for the new experience... the new crowd.. how in the world would any woman follow? well... probably not an American. American women choose comfort, wealth and their own style of independence.

Marcoftheking · Answer

as long as she isn't one of those ultra competitive type who needs to win at everything or thinks she's too good for the majority of the male population, then yeah i wouldn't mind. simply put, if she wasn't narcisstic and had time for a relationship then id be happy for her. itd be cool having a woman who can work to get what she wants.

Shreyash108 · Answer

Okay first of the way ypu put all the three guys, i don't thonk any of them loved you all they did was just use you for there own greed... and forget only men but in general people use other people... Just hang in there , you will find the person who will be happy to see your success!!
And there are guys (like me) that are sapisexual well and not jealous of some ones intelligence!!

Soltek84 · Answer

#1 A man shouldn't lower her value and shouldn't be jealous. #2 Is a man that just loves you. He's a man that's going to love you that is familiar to him, that's comfortable to him. And he's broke, cheap, only giving half contributions to the relationship.
#3 Just a door mate hanging around to fit his needs with no contribution to relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

That's why cheerleaders are always with men.. or well, most are. They're actually really smart and of course very pretty, but, they lead it on that, they're not, playing the ditzy, blonde stereotype that blondes have, not all cheerleaders are blond of course, but, you get the point. In fact, cheerleaders are not just smart, most of them have at least a B average... I was mainly a C student, some B's occasional A. I would hate her degrading me just because I'm not as smart as her (the cheerleaders)

qwert1234 · Answer

No. Why would it be?

My girlfriend earns more than me (she has work + business, while I only got work) and I always encourage her to continue to do so.
I don't compete with her, I compete with myself. I must not to be a burden or a freeloader - to anyone.

Nik1hil · Answer

i don't care if she it making 1 Million dollars daily,
its all cool as long as i am one the one who is carrying her dirty and sweaty from bed after hot sex,
to the shower,
it shouldn't happen other way around..
I will feel Economically emasculated , but i will compensate it by , doing few other things that only a men can do in a relationship.

DonkeyRick69 · Answer

Bullshit. A wise woman (mother) once warned me that if you lie with dogs you get flees. Take an honest look at the guys your saying. My sister is like a very high flying success story but for all her brains and talent she is a poor judge of charcter. The problem in afraid is you and your poor taste in men.

Lultoki · Answer

It's not a problem, but I can understand it may be a problem for some men (they probably feel chellenged in their masculinity) If you're dating someone who can't handle it, you better get away from them.

manuelll · Answer

Thats not true. This keeps happening to you because you obviously have a bad taste in men and you seemingly can't tell a decent Person apart from a jackass. There are many forms of intelligence and while you may have an ambundance of one type you seem to lack in other departments

Anonymous · Answer

"A wise woman told me that all of this happened because I am successful and too intelligent, and man can't handle women that are more successful than them."

What a giant load of crap this ^^ is. She wasn't a wise woman; she was an idiot.

Men love good women. Being successful is a bonus. Women who have bad luck with men or have a way of attracting jerks tend to look for excuses like this to explain their problems. That's all.

Casey10101 · Answer

naa, all power to her, if she's more successful than me. like I would support her in her endeavour that she is so successful in.

RealDarkeyes · Answer

I'm fine if my future girlfriend/wife makes more money than me, as long as i dont have to be a full-time stay-home dad

Of course id like to make a lot of money but im not upset if they can get a better job

Djaaay · Answer

Because I've had a successful status all my adult life , I really don't anticipate that accually happening. But to answer your question , women with that much are not really good companions for guys. Then again , now days there's some stupid guys out there.

IntoTheFlame · Answer

I'd rather my woman be successful and intelligent. If she happens to be moreso than me, that wouldn't be a problem, moreso an inspiration for me to get myself on her level so we can both be ballin' 😂

Smegskull · Answer

Not strictly. There is an element of "I know what I get from the relationship, if she doesn't need me to provide for her, what does she get out of the relationship" though. Some men respond to that by grasping at reasons for their partners to need them. (Only I could accept this part of you, you are dumb and lost without me, etc.)

jjcousin · Answer

This is true. But not for all Men. Don't worry you will find a Man who is not salty about it.

Anonymous · Answer

The wise woman lied to you. You were a fool to fall for the same trick thrice just wrapped in different packages. You will likely continue to fall for the same trick if you don't recognize that it isn't your intellect and success but in fact your vulnerability and irrationality that is leading to the same result.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

No, it wouldn't be a deal breaker if a girl is more successful than me.

FakeName123 · Answer

There seems to be a common theme and that theme has NOTHING to do with your income. That woman giving you advice isn't wise at all, but just full of shit.

All 3 used you for their own advantage. Long story short, you are a pushover and they used you for exactly that.

aapunpred · Answer

Nope, I would be glad someone was actually catching a break.

YHL6965 · Answer

Honestly, I would only want good things for my partner. I'm a selfless kind of guy so I would be glad to help her, as long as she is not using me.

ThePetSquirrel · Answer

Not a problem at all. In fact I hope she is more successful, it'd be like a friendly competition.

pizzalovershouse · Answer

not really true the guys who have a problem with that don't know how to care of a girl not unless a girl tries to buy the guy every thing then he fills like a paid for sex partner

Blackmoonsns · Answer

Speaking for my self i like when a women makes more money then me, she won't ask for any of mine.

FemWorship · Answer

NO but only if my status is not demeaned at her business functions, et al.

winterfox10 · Answer

It wouldn't bother me, but most women like their man to be more successful... so if anything; it would be a problem for her!

Juxtapose · Answer

It'd be the opposite actually. I'd know she's not a gold digger if she makes more than me and doesn't beg for my cash.

Anonymous · Answer

yes but only if i have a decent job, i dont want to be a loser and work at mcdonalds or something and her be some crazy awesome person, it would make me feel too inferior.

Tony_1693 · Answer

I like some healthy competition in a relationship.

notcreatief · Answer

I like intelligent women, I don't know why.

cancan73 · Answer

Successful, intelligent women are are a turn on

Cammy137 · Answer

Nope

Anonymous · Answer

It shouldn't be a problem

Insanyx12 · Answer

I would prefer that

Anonymous · Answer

In life? No! In dating, Yes!

RedThread · Answer

Nah.

Men, is it a problem if your woman is more successful than you?

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