Does making a man feel masculine inherently attract them to you? Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I get it. It’s the 21st century. Genders norms are becoming a thing of the past, and society is becoming more globalized and fluid in all aspects of life. But hear me out or criticize me, I’ll take it 🤷🏻‍♀️

But I recently got back into the dating game after a four year hiatus, which got me thinking of things. My grandma always told me that men liked to feel like men in the end of the day. Society constantly makes them doubt their ‘manliness’ per say, and if they have a women that strokes their masculine side and acknowledges it, they are yours. Masculinity can be different things to different men obviously, but in the end they want to feel like the protector, respected and needed. Just for a little background, im In the west coast and in my early twenties.

I started kind of testing out this theory and the results are pretty spot on. I enhanced my feminine side more, wearing lipstick, showing off my curves. I genuinely acknowledged to the guys I was dating that I felt safer and protected around them when I’m out at night with them. This other guy I was seeing, I asked him to help me fix my bed frame and thanked him after that, and he looked genuinely happy after. I played the damsel in distress card on one guy, and asked for help and he was quick to try to help me out and go as far to reaching out after And seeing how it went. I thanked him a lot after and he was become so much more interested and keen to hangout with me after.

All I’m saying is, when I bring out my feminine energy more and make these men feel more, for lack of a better term, masculine, I saw an instant shift of more attraction and attention they showed me compared to the dates I’ve purposely acted super independent.

Feel free to disagree with me, as I always enjoy respectable discourse. But in the end, do stereotypes actually help dating? And do men in the end want kind of dependent women?

[NamerOfStars]

Here's the thing: gender norms aren't becoming a thing of the past, and barring some very specific genetic engineering, they won't (whether they SHOULD is a whole other question I don't know the answers to). What we're seeing is an increased acceptance of noncompliance with them. You're still expected to go along (even if it's not stated directly); there's just less of a penalty for not doing so.

Gender norms, like pretty much everything else in sociology, weren't created by some cabal of masterminds; they arose naturally from the basic facts of biology and economics of the world we live in. Evolution doesn't end at the neck, and while we may want to remove the barriers that demographic groups operate under, you're probably not going to see real parity unless you force it (and frankly, probably not even then). It's becoming increasingly normal for girls to ask guys out (a good thing, in my opinion), but I will bet you anything that the vast majority of dates still come from men asking (excepting lesbian relationships, for obvious reasons). Biology doesn't go away to suit a political narrative.

Now, it's unwise to use absolutes when it comes to dating; you're always going to have exceptions, but it's definitely true that there's a lot to be gained from playing to a biological role.

[Barbaric]

Gender norms aren't really changing, most people who say they support those things are either damaged and dysfunctional, or they're virtue-signalling. The differences between men and women and the things we're attracted to in the opposite sex are hard-wired. A couple of generations of social engineering can't erase hundreds of thousands of years of evolutionary history.

When women are masculine and dominant, obsessed with being badasses, it's a defense mechanism. They've either been taught that masculine men are evil, or they've had some kind of bad experience in the past with a more masculine man - because that's what they're naturally attracted to.

When men are effeminate and especially when they speak against gender norms, it's because they're weak and cowardly and can't live up to masculine standards. Instead preferring to tear them down. These are the kinds of men who, even though you just virtue-signalled about gender norms too, you don't want.

So yes, this does make a man feel more attracted to you. The most important thing to understand is the importance of masculine vs feminine polarity.

We all did the experiment with magnets in school right?
- N attracts S, S attracts N
- N repels N, S repels S
- The stronger the magnets, the stronger the POLARITY, the stronger the magnetism (attraction)

Same thing happens with men and women, with masculinity and femininity. You mentioned protection for example - a man is more likely to feel that innate protective instinct with a feminine woman vs a more masculine/androgynous woman. In fact to many men, since there are so many women on the "strong independent woman who don't need no man" bullshit, a feminine woman is like a breath of fresh air.

[FakeName123]

Thousands of years of evolution doesn't vanish simply based on a few decades of technological progress. We are a sexually dimorphis species. If we weren't, there would be no point in having two separate genders. This difference shows itself physiologically, but also psychologically. It is a fools thought to think that men and women are physically different, but mentally the same. It is also clearly disproven by the way the brain develops.

So yes, men want to feel masculine and prefer women that appreciate it. Ideally it being a giving and taking of course.

[Anonymous]

I disagree that gender norms are becoming a thing of the past. I think there is a push for that by some limited but vocal segments of society, but most normal people look past that in my experience.

But I agree that if you make an effort to accentuate your feminine side you will almost always be more attractive to heterosexual men. Likewise, a man who makes a woman feel comfortable with her femininity and shows appreciation for it is going to be more appealing to most women.

Most guys don't really go for the damsel in distress though. That's a bit over the top. But guys do like to show their love by doing for their women. I think that's true of most guys. And yes, just like women, men want to feel respected and needed. I don't know if dependent is the right word, but everyone wants to feel needed.

Women who purposely acted super independent are almost always a turnoff.

[In_Trance]

I think it does. People never forget how you make them feel