What would you do if you had an abhorrent admirer?

Question

Updates:

1 y

"Abhorrent" as in "creepy, unwanted, useless"

Answer 1

Ozanne | 448 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

I once had an abhorrent admirer, and he eventually sexually assaulted me. I don't even know how many times I told him prior to that that I wasn't interested, but it was definitely more than about ten times. He came over one night and asked me to let him in my apartment just to talk and to say goodbye. I thought (stupidly) that he was genuine, since that's all I wanted, and he knew it -- the goodbye part.

People are unpredictable and can be dangerous. My advice is to just ignore, ignore, ignore. Block if you need to, and don't give in to anything, even if you're "just trying to be nice" or "you don't want to hurt the person". And those people who are being harassed shouldn't tell someone to leave them alone, only to call *them* the next day - even just to check up on them and see if they're okay. NO. Just IGNORE them. Don't send mixed messages, and there is no need to lose control over it. Just ignore, block, and document it if it persists - because you never know if you have to make it a police issue. Eventually people tire of not being recognized as that's all these types of people want -- attention. If they don't get it from one person, they eventually move on to someone else to get what they need.

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1 Person

Jean-Marie_Céline

1 y
I'm really sorry that happened to you, but thank you for sharing your experience.
It must have been terrible.

Answer 2

Jean-Marie_Céline

I'm really sorry that happened to you, but thank you for sharing your experience.
It must have been terrible.

Answer 3

AlienParasite | 340 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

This has never happened to me, or at least that I've been aware. I suppose I'd ignore the person if it's possible. If it's not I'm unsure how to proceed, I guess I would adapt my answer according to how inappropriate their behavior is.

What is you admirer doing to be creepy?

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1 Person

Jean-Marie_Céline

1 y
I don't have a particular situation going on, just a friend that sends me some ten texts per night - positivity stuff and friendship images.
I've told her to knock it off since I'm taken, she stops for a while then resumes.
AlienParasite

1 y
I don't understand why she'd keep doing it after you told her not to do so. That's a bit odd. I'd probably ignore her and I'd only bother to give her an answer if she's saying something that is important or genuinely interesting.
Jean-Marie_Céline

1 y
Yeah, that's more or less what I plan to do.
Sometimes we go along pretty well, but as I said I'm taken and I don't want to do anything stupid.

Answer 4

Jean-Marie_Céline

I don't have a particular situation going on, just a friend that sends me some ten texts per night - positivity stuff and friendship images.
I've told her to knock it off since I'm taken, she stops for a while then resumes.

Answer 5

AlienParasite

I don't understand why she'd keep doing it after you told her not to do so. That's a bit odd. I'd probably ignore her and I'd only bother to give her an answer if she's saying something that is important or genuinely interesting.

Answer 6

Jean-Marie_Céline

Yeah, that's more or less what I plan to do.
Sometimes we go along pretty well, but as I said I'm taken and I don't want to do anything stupid.

Answer 7

Telekinetic-Potato | 645 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

I'd go right up to her and say "this is happening now, or it's never happening" and I'd take her into a hotel room and yoke her up. I'd have my fingers exploring her Panama canal, I'd have my thumb in her ass, I'd fuck her so good like she wasn't even expecting. I'd make the bitch feel like she were in a movie. We'd get food, we'd be watching the free movies.

And then I'd leave a hundred bucks on the counter and tell her I've had better and I'm pretty sure I'd never have to worry about seeing her again.

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1 Person

Ozanne

1 y
With some women, that might just earn you a stalker. ;)
Jean-Marie_Céline

1 y
I've tried this tactic already but I must have done something wrong along the way, since now we're engaged
Telekinetic-Potato

1 y
@Ozanne you don't think it would stop her if she was already the stalker? Cuz then it's like her fantasy been played out.
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Ozanne

1 y
@Telekinetic-Potato I'm half-joking. Sometimes if you treat someone like crap, they just come running back for more thinking they'll get you to change toward them. It's a warped, power-thing that people think they have. I know what you meant was to be funny :) but in all seriousness, I wouldn't mess around. You never know what kind of nutcase you're dealing with.
Telekinetic-Potato

1 y
@Ozanne haha I feel that

Answer 8

Ozanne

With some women, that might just earn you a stalker. ;)

Answer 9

Jean-Marie_Céline

I've tried this tactic already but I must have done something wrong along the way, since now we're engaged

Answer 10

Telekinetic-Potato

@Ozanne you don't think it would stop her if she was already the stalker? Cuz then it's like her fantasy been played out.

Answer 11

Ozanne

@Telekinetic-Potato I'm half-joking. Sometimes if you treat someone like crap, they just come running back for more thinking they'll get you to change toward them. It's a warped, power-thing that people think they have. I know what you meant was to be funny :) but in all seriousness, I wouldn't mess around. You never know what kind of nutcase you're dealing with.

Answer 12

Telekinetic-Potato

@Ozanne haha I feel that

Answer 13

MCheetah | 2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

No woman could be too creepy for me, unless he wasn't a "woman." True story: I once had some random skinny blonde girl, off her meds, get my number somehow, and wanted to stalk me, including sending me nudes and pictures of her genitals. I managed to creep her out into ghosting me in less than two days! :) In fact, I think this question can only apply to women and good looking/unavailable men.

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Answer 14

SphynxUK | 554 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

I have had a couple of these actually. Thankfully a few were online so I could block them and their endless new accounts, (repeatedly).

Another had found me online, and it transpired they worked in the same place as me. It was horrendous. I didn’t realise it was stalking until someone pointed it out to me. His behaviour was sickening despite me making it clear I wasn’t interested and never would be. Had to report him to my manager in the end. Even then it didn’t die out.

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Answer 15

InferiorElegy | 836 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Explorer

I don't believe females could ever be called creepy, I've never heard any guy refer to a girl as such, I also don't think I would do anything, I'd be lucky to even have this kind of admirer.

I've heard girls laughing at how creepy a guy is just because of his looks. I'm sure there are a lot of females if not all at one point in their lives have called a guy creepy just because of his looks and nothing more.

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Jean-Marie_Céline

1 y
Women can be as creepy and unsavory as men, if not more
InferiorElegy

1 y
I've never heard of such, I know women can be crazy and we aren't supposed to call them such because reasons but then the go crazy and destroy shit or viciously attack guys causing bodily harm but no they are the victims. So I don't think women have a creepy side, it's all just psychotic or not.

Answer 16

Jean-Marie_Céline

Women can be as creepy and unsavory as men, if not more

Answer 17

InferiorElegy

I've never heard of such, I know women can be crazy and we aren't supposed to call them such because reasons but then the go crazy and destroy shit or viciously attack guys causing bodily harm but no they are the victims. So I don't think women have a creepy side, it's all just psychotic or not.

Answer 18

Cherokeehp | 1.1K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

It’s happened plenty of times. I tell em to fuck off and if they persist anyway then I call my friends so I can have some back up.

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1 Person

Answer 19

dawsonnata

Xper 5

Nothing. I wouldn't give a single crap. I don't have time for nonsense

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Answer 20

Angelo75 | 159 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

Define what you find abhorrent in this admirer of yours.

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Angelo75

1 y
Seeing that you would define someone as being "creepy, unwanted, useless"...
I can't help to wonder how would you feel if someone thought or said that about you.
Jean-Marie_Céline

1 y
If someone thought that of me, I'd have the decency of getting out the way.

Answer 21

Angelo75

Seeing that you would define someone as being "creepy, unwanted, useless"...
I can't help to wonder how would you feel if someone thought or said that about you.

Answer 22

Jean-Marie_Céline

If someone thought that of me, I'd have the decency of getting out the way.

Answer 23

Fuentes | 2.3K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

I'd probably smash her then dipp out and block her only if she's baad but if she's ugly and creepy then I'd just let her like me from a distance lol

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Answer 24

loveslongnails | 2.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

I'd remake her into a beautiful creature and live with her forever !!

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Answer 25

msc545 | 2.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Sorry, can you be a bit clearer about what you mean by this?

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Answer 26

KayAsh

Xper 4

Uuuuh bud... if that girl looks abhorrent to you, you sure you like girls?

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3 People

zagor

1 y
Abhorrent doesn't mean ugly, dear.

Answer 27

zagor

Abhorrent doesn't mean ugly, dear.

Answer 28

lightbulb27 | 2.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

scare them off. that's just frightening.

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1 Person

Answer 29

Gwenhwyfar | 2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

How abhorrent are we talking?

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1 Person

Gwenhwyfar

1 y
It’s happened

Try and tactfully avoid them. If that fails block them.

Answer 30

Gwenhwyfar

It’s happened

Try and tactfully avoid them. If that fails block them.

Answer 31

Iron_Man | 13.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

I don’t really run people off

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Answer 32

Wise4myage | 4.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

Id ignore her and give off negative vibes.

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1 Person

Answer 33

Itsroxxie

Xper 5

That girl looks pretty...

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Answer 34

Doflamingo1 | 73 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 5

Nothing.

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What would you do if you had an abhorrent admirer?

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