Do you ever feel it's your fault that you were GHOSTED?

[coachTanthony]

Yes

No

Other ( um let me explain ) in the comments below

See Poll ( Casper is a friendly ghost )

[Cynicaldreamer]

Well I'm usually ghosted due to one of the following reasons:

• He found someone else he wanted
• I wouldn't sleep with him fast enough
• I wasn't attractive enough/his type

So to answer your question- NO, it's not my fault. Because if they wanted me badly enough, they would have made it work or not ghosted me in the first place. Better still, just say why they don't want to be with me instead of just disappearing!

I'll admit I used to get hurt and offended wondering why a guy would stop talking to me or ghost me... hell no one likes being ghosted! I would replay every situation or conversation in my head wondering what I said or did to run him off. But that only left me more angry, upset, and confused.

So I decided to no longer assume the fault of assholes that are not man enough to tell me why they ghosted me.

Cowards ghost people as a means to "protect" the other person or avoid confrontation. Ghosting is becoming all too common as well, which I cannot stand.
So the fact that they're taking the coward's way out instead of just saying they don't want to be with me, tells me I dodged a bullet.

[coachTanthony]

Dodged a bullet is right. imagine needing someone like that to actually know how to communicate if the FIT hits the SHAN while dealing with a crisis... YIKES.. . NO Thanks... I will pass!

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Lol once I would really like to see you why do you think you are not attractive I want to do somd myth busting 😝

[Account]

I voted Other, since it is not something I think about if it happens to me.
I just take it as it is and move on.
There is no reason to think about it or have ill feelings towards a person because of it.
For reasons unknown, our interaction didn't work.
In many cases it is no one's fault, it is just the fact that communication fails between us.

[Dongtai]

I haven’t been ghosted for a while. I used to feel like it was my fault until I read about it. If someone ghosts you, you’re probably not the first person they’ve ghosted and won’t be the last.


That’s how some people choose to handle their social confrontations (if possible). Apparently a lot of people don’t know how to handle it properly. I just don’t take it personal. But I make sure I don’t add to the ghosters. If I want to stop seeing you, I will tell you.

[jgokgotit]

HELL NO! Seriously, the person doing the ghosting is the one in the wrong (only exception is an abusive/violent situation). You are literally leaving someone hanging and questioning what went wrong. Some people argue "well it's not my responsibility to comfort an ex", but ghosting is different. Ghosting shows that you are too scared to face what you are doing so you ignore the situation.

[jgokgotit]

Let me clarify something: When I talk about ghosting I am talking about ending a significant relationship by ghosting. There is nothing wrong with it if you only went on a couple of dates. My problem is if anything has been invested in the relationship and the person is shitty enough to ghost.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Ghosted by who? I don't online date, and anyone I deal with in real life, end it with a convo... So never really been "ghosted" like that

[coachTanthony]

Well in this context it would be say... you and I met online (hehehehe) and after two weeks I felt as if we were not compatible... what I should do is just say hey Brains... I am not feeling a romantic connection here so I wish you the best in finding what you are looking for. However I decide you ain't worth the time so I ghost you.

Now when you get ghosted by me (ignored indefinitely) would you feel it's something you did or I am just a creep who cannot communicate well?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

just a creep who cannot communicate well lol

[coachTanthony]

Ha yeah exactly.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👍👍

[eileen_ruth]

Yes, I was talking to this girl for five months, though we had something, we we're flirting and I knew a lot about her and had some good conversations and she just stopped talking to me and I'm still wondering if she would still be talking to me if I was more interesting or assertive even though I carried all of the conversations

[Anonymous]

I was ghosted by an immature guy who wanted me to do stuff I wasn’t ready for. He did me a favor.

[coachTanthony]

I agree.

[psychoticanimallover]

I don’t really understand the whole ghosting thing. No one is entitled to attention from someone. Just because you agree to go on one date with someone, or because you decide to reply to a couple of messages, doesn’t mean you owe them an explanation for losing interest. It’s impolite, sure, but no one is obligated to be polite. Ghosting to me seems suitably named - it’s imaginary and fictitious and someone made it up just because they were confused by something that happened to them.

[MissGeorgia]

I think after one date, it’s pretty normal & acceptable. That shouldn’t be classed as ghosting... or if you’ve simply only been speaking for a short time. If you’re not feeling it, you’re not feeling it.
... but if two people have been in an exclusive relationship and one of them just decides to drop out without any obvious reason, no one could blame the person on the receiving end for being hurt and/or confused... I think if you’ve been getting along with someone for a certain amount of time ( meaning months or years, not days or weeks) and that person thinks it’s going well, it’s decent to tell them it’s not working for you anymore rather than just deciding they aren’t worth the conversation and leaving them to figure it out for themselves. That’s kind of cruel.

[psychoticanimallover]

@MissGeorgia Does anyone actually “ghost” their partner of a year though? I mean, if they do that’s obviously fucked up, but I’ve always understood the term to be applied more to silence after a few dates.

[MissGeorgia]

It happened to one of my closest friends. 4 years in he ghosted her, it was awful to see what it did to her... have you ever had a friend who seemed to be disappearing before your eyes? It was like that.
She just became a shell of herself. She’s one of those people who blames herself, and I don’t know what happened so I can’t reassure her.
I’ve seen that guy around and he obviously knows it was a shifty thing to do because of how sheepish he looks when he sees me.

Like you say, after a couple of dates, if it’s not for you, it’s just one of those things.
I think it’s when enough has gone on for there to be deep emotional involvement that it becomes traumatic for some people.

[Adam1978]

Well ghosting is almost always the lazy person escape method so no in that sense. Have I failed some of their laundry list that make them sort to this kind of inmature behavior? Probably.

[cth96190]

It has probably been my fault, but I am almost past caring.
The way that I look at the situation is that if the woman ghosts me, she has saved me time and money that may have been spent trying to court her.
I would prefer a straightforward FOAD, but because most people (especially females) dislike what they fear may become direct confrontation, I will accept ghosting as a realistic option.

[fashionguy17]

When I was in my early 20s, I used to think it was my fault and that shit used to eat me alive. However, when I get ghosted now, I really don't care. Things happen for reason. If they don't want to talk, that's fine. There are millions of women out there that will talk to me. Lol.

[Gosceewual]

Yes... she wouldn’t ignore me if I was attractive to her... so I did something wrong n turned her off somehow, we can pretend like it’s not our fault and these people are jus ignorant to make ourselves feel better... but the fact is... they’re ignoring for a reason

[Walamagicc]

If I said something offensive and they ghost me then I would get it but I usually don’t care if I get ghosted unless I’m in a relationship

[sheikalana]

I don't feel it's my fault but I wonder if I did something wrong.

[HawkPerception]

Well seeing as ghosting usually means that the person stopped being interested for a number of reasons, yes... I do think it's my fault that I'm not good enough. As unclassy as ghosting is, it still hurts the person it's done to.

[coachTanthony]

It does kind of hurt when someone disappears but we can't be everyone's cup of tea nor should we. You being good enough for everyone you come in contact with is crazy expectations. Don't put it on you... sometime we just don't mesh doesn't mean you aren't worthy.

[FictionalCharacter]

Yes, because I just wanted to open myself up to that person and express my thoughts and emotions. That *poof* they’re gone. Which makes me emotionally detached to people and guarded. Sorta like a zombie 🧟‍♀️ state.

[prince370]

You mean when I won't take her shit and she pretends it's somehow my fault?
Lol, you've got to grow some manliness to deal with being cheated and not destroy yourself.

[silvermoon84]

Yeah. When I was 25 I briefly dated this guy who I really liked. We weren’t dating long, but I think I’m to blame for that because I was a little pushy about getting into a relationship

[Guanfei]

It's always my fault. I'm an annoying, uninteresting, stupid little guy.
But I still prefer if people are upfront with it and tell me they leave.

[MoonNieve]

That is not true at all <3

[MissGeorgia]

If what you thought about yourself was true, they wouldn’t be attracted to you in the first place.
You feel that way because other people have caused you to.

Maybe you were simply out of their league... you had more to offer than they did and they didn’t know how to deal with it.

[Citizenkirk]

I don't know what that means, ghosted, but it is never my fault what someone else chooses too do. It's not mine too carry, so I refuse too try.

[yucel_eden]

Before, yes, it was my fault.


Why? I was too needy and felt like I was entitled to her because I loved her.


realised if you don’t care she’s more interested

[Slim57]

If multiple people keep doing it you can't really help but feel that way

[Just_Me89]

No, ghosting it 100% the person who ghosts fault for being totally spineless.
If you have a problem with someone be a grown up and say something.

[andypaul2490]

Yes too many love scammers from Nigeria.

[coachTanthony]

There are plenty of those out there! LOL