Do you feel guilty often? Do other people make you feel guilty and blame you for their own mistakes?

[menina]

This always happening to me. My father, my sister and my mother often try to blame me when they're the ones who are wrong. I end up feeling guilty and pressed even when I did nothing wrong.

Does this happen to other people? How do you deal with it?

[20yearsolder]

It doesn't happen to me because I don't allow it to happen. Fuck them. I don't care if it's your family or not. Evidently they don't see you as an equal so don't worry about what they think when you tell them they're wrong

[Grond21]

That's called emotional abuse. Therapy is a good place to start, and then finding real concrete ways from online psychologists to help you build boundaries in order to protect yourself

[menina]

Yes, I really need therapy. I'm working on that.

[Grond21]

Good. Because this will drastically hurt every area of your life if it continues.

[menina]

That's true. I had therapy when I was in college but then I graduated so I stopped seeing my therapist. Now I have to look for another one.

[Grond21]

Finding a good one can be tough sometimes, but it's so very worth it

[menina]

Yes and it's also costly where I live.

[Grond21]

Hmm, that is difficult

[menina]

Yes, it is but I must go, otherwise I'll never be ok.

[Grond21]

Precisely. And maybe you can find a cheaper option online

[menina]

I have to look for it, but I would prefer to find one offline.

[Grond21]

I completely understand that. But if there was a good one that was affordable it might be nice to have that as an option

[menina]

Yes, I guess it is. I'll see what I can find.

[Grond21]

Best of luck to you

[menina]

Thank you! :)

[Grond21]

Thank you for the MHO

[menina]

You're welcome.

[TJ1892]

Yes, I have a poor relationship or non relationship with my father because we are polar opposites and he chose not to be around or make the effort so now I do the same and I don't feel guilty because if people don't accept me for who I am why should I make time for them? Believe me you get thick skinned being a 5ft6orange who tops up on his fake tan daily and wears enough foundation to make a kardashian plush 😆🤣🤣🤣🤣 Don't be guilty be you be free be respectful be kind and be happy💪

[menina]

Thank you so much! You're amazing! 🤣🤣🤣

[TJ1892]

I try my best😇The trick is keep the tan on point and be happy

[menina]

Noted 📝📝📝

[YHL6965]

If I feel guilty, it's usually me making myself feeling that way, almost never others. When others try to feel guilty, it's usually because they feel guilt or shame and want to get rid of that feeling by putting it on you. Once you realize that, you can use it to point it out to them, to show them that it's THEIR problem and that you have nothing to do with it. If you're stingy enough while pointing this out, they might back up, especially if you sting where their shame/guilt is.

[menina]

I've never thought about this, but you might be right. I need to think about this and learn how to deal with them.

[LazerBean]

Nope. I had one person in my life who did that, but that went away once I cut them out. Pretty much everyone else ended up cottong her out as well. Nobody needs that in their life.

[menina]

I agree. I wish I could them out, but I can't. At least not now.

[andreasderjuengere]

I know it myself when I made a mistake.

In such cases I contribute to fix the issue. ''Feeling guilty'' is a waste of time.

[menina]

I get your point. But this happens when I don't make any mistake, when it's not my fault.

[andreasderjuengere]

In that case there's no reason to feel 'guilty'. Shrug it off - it's ''their'' problem.

[menina]

You're right, it's just that this is easier said than done.

[Bethany22]

Yes, happens often to me. At first I give in, but then because I know I've been tricked, resentment builds up. I wish I could take revenge but I don't know how

[Sixgunsound]

Either you did the thing, or you didn’t do the thing. I see no purpose for feeling guilty for things you did not do or could not possibly have done such as being born over a century after the event in question took place.

[menina]

"... such as being born over a century after the event in question took place." - Are you talking about an event in specific or it's just an expression?

[Sixgunsound]

In general. Anything that happened a century or really any amount of time but that seemed like a round enough number to make the point before I was born could not possibly be my fault therefore I have no reason to feel or let anyone make me feel guilty about it.

[menina]

Ok, I get what you're saying and I think I know what you're talking about. But that's not my point at all.

[Sixgunsound]

What was going on in 1886? Robber barons, industrialization, in my city George Eastman was making his push to get Kodak off the ground etc.

[menina]

I know nothing about that and like I've said that wasn't my point at all.

[Sixgunsound]

I didn’t actually have a point other than a really long time.

[menina]

Oh ok. Sorry, I get you.

[AndrésC64]

Other people don't need to blame me or make me feel guilty, I do more than enough of that on my own.

[menina]

I'm sorry you feel this way.

[AndrésC64]

Thanks. It sounds like your family is doing some pretty shitty things, if you will forgive me for saying so.

[menina]

You're welcome. Yes, they are and it's ok if you say so. It doesn't offend me because it's the truth. I'm not lucky in terms of family.

[AddylynnNightingale]

Sometimes, but it's me, not other people. I'm sometimes hard on myself.

[JonesT10Apr]

At work place usually happens, but getting over it and handle the situation not to hurt the way is key...

do like what you are doing... it's only key...

All is well just say to ❤️

[msc545]

I don't allow others to make me feel guilty.

[Anonymous]

Your parents don't know the real value of my menina you deserve to be loved & care.
Are you ok now? Hugs ❤️

[eagle1951]

People have tried to do that to me, but i refuse to let them

[Agape93]

Nope, I don't feel it nor fully understand it

[Jennz6]

Yes I am a naughty girl 👧 🥰

[menina]

That's not what I meant but ok...

[Jennz6]

@menina thank you ☺️

[menina]

You're welcome. :)

[Havthrills]

Not at all.

[pizzalovershouse]

Not really

[User3191989]

No, I don't