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Are women always looking for a better deal whenever it comes to having a partner?
For example if their boyfriend is an 8 out of 10 in terms of looks and makes 40000 a year would she dump her boyfriend for a dude that is a 9 out of 10 in terms of looks and makes 70000 a year?
If looks are all they are about, 9/10x that is the case. I don't follow that rating system. The problem is that if you are so fickle stay SINGLE. It is better than to ruin somebody else who deserves to be with people who desire to be with THEM. NOT for their material. Overall, men do need something to offer to a woman instead of expecting a woman to just get any guy because he is a guy. A woman is going to be with those who are compatible with her. The point that men do not bother to do is ask what a woman needs in a man, and really understand what that woman needs. Stop picking women you can't handle. If she needs a man with a certain amount, understood why she does. But women mostly are going to look at how they can pass on genes and make the offspring have a successful life. It's not wrong. It's the INTENT that may be wrong.
While 40K is not bad for a single. For families, you need more than that and women want to get married. You need money to survive and these men today, not all, feel like a woman just needs to be pretty, have sex, bear kids, doing everything, and that's it. That is all a woman's use is. This has been something that women experienced since FOREVER. And it's unfair and it's wrong. Reality is this:
Apartments cost about 2k or more depending on where you live. Homes at least is about 200k-300k and that is just the basics. You want more, you are just going to pay more.
Ah I have been making close to 150K for the last 4 years and I bought and fixed up a very nice place. I’ve also kept myself in excellent shape and have all my hair despite being close to 40.
I can tell you right now it’s more than money/career. It’s about a man knowing how to “push” a girls buttons.
The issue is your treating this material as to attract a woman. And that has nothing to do with that. You have to have the qualities beyond looks, materialistic things, and even your personality which can be found everywhere. The key is what are you offering other than that? You have your hair, okay. But your hair has nothing to do with it, though be happy you still have it. You make close to 150K that is excellent but again, when is the last time you build friendships and relationships with women period, and invest in them for them and not because you have all of these things? You being in shape for be for the sake of YOUR PERSONAL health. That has nothing to do with us. You think what I said was about career and money and it's not. What I had said was for men who naturally refuse to do the provision basic of what a woman desires and needs in a man naturally. You already have that, therefore it has nothing to do with you, but the intent with it. Otherwise, all your going to do is attract golddiggers. I can tell you as much as you make a good amount, have a place and such is great. Glad your trying to take care of your healt. But what about your sexual history? Your beliefs? Your standards? What are your desires and dreams for the future? How do you treat women? Do you want marriage or kids? Were you married before? You are not out of the woods yet just because you have only 1 basic down. You have to show the rest of that as do we women. The thing is, women around your age are going to expect more of you because you had those years to work on it. But no what about the absence of it? Younger doesn't always know better, and they tend to be more prone to wanting to not put in the work if all you going to do is chase them sexually even if they do get jobs and a place to live.
"Overall, men do need something to offer to a woman instead of expecting a woman to just get any guy because he is a guy". Absolutely agree. While it does feel kind of frustrating to be a man sometimes, and its frustrating that women do not appreciate or are aware of how hard and depressing it can be as a man, i do not condone whining and bitching and complaining. You are a guy, do what guys are supposed to do, even if it sucks.
"feel like a woman just needs to be pretty, have sex, bear kids, doing everything, and that's it. That is all a woman's use is. This has been something that women experienced since FOREVER. And it's unfair and it's wrong".
Are you saying you do not like the fact that little is expected of you. Would you rather be a man, and have almost everything expected of you? This is a genuine question by the way. I think most people enjoy to have little responsibilities.
I am a person. I did not asked to be treated that way be it as a man or a woman. Love and treat a person with respect regardless what is expected. You cannot survive on looks u less yoir being used sexually which women have always been. You survive by working Don't work you don't eat. We do appreciate you but you don't push it that's what we do because you think it's because you have to do those things for us that we owe you something and technically we don't. That's over what you're supposed to do as a man and many who do not want to do that because you think we have to owe you something more when we obviously do not. You don't do that to people who you do not have a desire to love you share that with a person who already want to share a life with you. But you do not make it out like you do this for me and I do this for you and not be that. Because there are plenty of people who can do that but not everybody can give love. Women only ask for one thing and it's love. We're not asking you to do all these things just so you can just do all these things for us. We ask to be loved. At that point we ain't going to care about who looks attractive or not as long a person treated with the love and respect that we deserve. Woman is more than the things that is listed just like a man is more than what is listed of you. Like excuse me what does any of that have to do with me as a person? Everybody has what's expected of them what is the intentions with it? It would have been no different if I was a man. If I have no intentions with a woman that my business is not to be with one. You still have to work whether you have one or not. Are you not a person. What are you living in this life for if you have nothing else to offer than what you were saying? When a man thinks of a use of a woman is like that what he's saying that she'd less of a person she's just so used because she's simply a woman. That's if she's not her own person.
“ That means you overcompensating for something you naturally lack.”.
That extensive rant above is exactly what the problem is.
If you have a higher standard for the person you are dating than you have for yourself than ultimately everybody loses.
What are you talkin about? I know not to date a stranger and somebody I find compatibility with. Somebody who I already know personally and who's already doing what they got to do what I'm talking about is not compensation for myself because I already do what I need to do and I know what it takes to do that. When are you men are going to wake up and actually have some balls instead of expecting a woman to do your job? Unlike you men I can live without sex. I'm a virgin, never been involved with a man, and I am more happier alone then I am thinking about being involved with a man please tell me where am I missing anything out? It's only a problem because you men don't want to do what you got to do. At the end of the day I know my place is as a woman and I'm not going to wait for you to make up your mind. I could have been mad at 18 at least. But lot of you men don't want that you want to play the field just like the women. I ain't having no whore for a husband. I ain't looking for rich but I don't want lazy.
So I'm not losing anything. At any given time if I want to get married I can. If I want to be with somebody I can't. But either way whether I'm with somebody or not, if you're going to waste my time please vamoose. I never once chased after a man. It's always a man asking about me. If I am so much not worth the effort then why do you bother continuing trying to get me to date you? I mean really? All I ask is to live my life in peace. Not be with somebody's going to bring heartache and pain. At least I can say I was born in the wrong Century. But a lot of you men are just so ridiculous it's not even funny. When you get a good woman invested in you you don't care. If you get her you don't treat her right, if she's involved with another man over sudden she's a hoe. You meant are not stable and your mentality is just flat-out backwards. We are not asking for much. Just love us, cherish us and be responsible. Somebody has to work. And if you don't work you are not going to eat. As my father would be saying. You will be eating air. It is not Medieval Times anymore. So unless you've been dealt a really ugly hand, there is no excuse about why you cannot take those opportunities. Especially when you're younger. But if you want to be selfish than do not expect a woman who is selfish going to be loyal to you. But don't expect loyal woman to be one of the dealing with a man who's selfish and then she wasted her time energy and effort trying to love a man who doesn't want to be loved back!
I don't care if you work in a warehouse. If it offers 401K, you get a good pension, you did a good signing bonus, do your job! If your construction worker, just be clean when you get home and provide something. I don't care if you work at Walmart. Do something. Because when you get someone pregnant, when you got mouths to feed, either you go back to school and get a certificate or something, or you're going to have to find another job. Because I Don't Need No Man to tell me what my job is as a woman. I do whatever I got to do to make sure my family eats. I'm in school for a reason so I'll be able to provide for myself. Any man who shames me for doing my job as a woman is no man at all.
This is my problem with you men. You want to have sex, you want to party, you want to have all the fun in the world, but you don't want to take responsibility! Could you have a choice. You can be out there like a dork and don't get involved. You can be by yourself and do all you can by yourself without worrying about a woman. Or you do what you got to do if it means that you're going to have a family and a future with somebody. Your choice. Life is about choices. I have more respect for the disabled than men who think that you're bougie to do anything.
@Amazingworld92 What the hell is WRONG with you. You are to love the person, not their age or if they get fat! People change and if she isn't happy and God forbid letting go it is a reflection of the relationship. Not the person. You lose teeth, somebody may lose a limb. Should a woman leave you once you're not getting it up anymore and dying out? You better seriously wake up to the real world.
Stop assuming every person is ugly. That includes you also. Everybody ages, everybody changes. That doesn't stop you from living. If a man is getting fat that may have to do with me. If he is depressed, what is the problem? Does he have a genetic disorder or trait that is changing his body, like hypothyroidism? I'm going to leave a man who I can try to help and support whom I love? You never stop loving a person. It gets tough. That's life. But you help each other. As long as they aren't deliberately impacting your life, you work TOGETHER. Don't get a partner, if you can't handle it. Like a pastor has said: "You can't have cows without, poo. You don't like poo, don't have the cow." I had to clean up a major sorry for TMI, diarrhea mess for my large dog. It is a LOT, to disinfect, clean, and take of him. I have to take care of him. Can't handle a pet? Don't have one. People are not your pet project.
Most of you don't need relationships, to BEGIN WITH. Very hypocritical of you people who say this then when somebody abandons you, they're the worse person on earth. Why is it okay to treat people wrong, somebody does it to you, your the victim? I would NEVER. That's like complaining you can't handle the disabled but then you or somebody you love suddenly have 10K+ worth of bills you have to pay out of inseurance. You going to support them, or leave them?
Jealous because we man love younger woman and not old ones like yourself lol I am laughing so hard right u funny.
@Amazingworld92 Jealous? I am still young. I know for a fact you do not love women, you don't love anybody regardless if they are young or not. You don't even love yourselves. You don't even know what love IS. Love is not what you're talking about. You just want sex. I am a virgin and I avoided creeps like yourselves who have nothing to offer and you prey on girls with low self-esteem. I am not stupid. SICK!
I look 13. I don't care. I don't want manwhores and neither do any of these women who wants men who can't handle real relationships. You called "incels" for a reason. Your not even incels, your just looking for a come-up because no woman in her right mind wants you. Period. Only naive ones with little to no experience do. How foolish can you be? I avoided you pervs at 16, I told you off at 19, I warned my parents about you creeps at 21-23. And my father protected me from creeps like you 2 years ago. You only prey on women who don't have male stability. PERIOD. And you suckers tried that on my late mother who was sadly already abused and had low self-esteem. I even protected her AT 8! Looking at married women, others daughters. Sickos.
You 13 lol 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I'm pissing my pants of laughter 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Fathers! Start protecting your DAUGTHERS. Girls, listen to yoru parents, most guys like this ARE Dogs! I believe my late great-grandfather who have said men are dogs. I have more respect for him then creeps like you seeking a woman to mold and shape her to your sexual desires because something is psychologically isn't RIGHT in your head! There were men in their 40s who knew better to respect my youth and never made sick passes at me. And any of you sickos tried that, they at least told you to step off and tell me to let them know if anybody bothers me. You do that to any woman you want to harass and pressure. You do this to any woman of any age. Someday that woman is going to be 30, you use up women as women use you. All SICK. It's one thing to form natural relationships with somebody with a large gap which is rare. Everything else is cradle-robbing and sex. PERIOD. As the old saying goes. You can tell a lot about a person by who they got on their arm. A man who got a young woman like that on his arm is looking for payback for everyone who rejected him. Signs of possible mental issues unless the girl cheats on him. There are good men out there that is very much interested in being with them. Your not as mature as you claim, your not looking for kids as you say, you don't want marriage or families. You want a bedwarmer. Not a PARTNER.
There is no way u look 13 You are a liar we know dam well I ain't 13.
That's the beauty of Green tea, less sugar, exercise weight lifting, running, no McDonalds or other junk food, sleep and staying away from makeup and other toxins, plenty of water, and no toxic people. Does WONDERS for your health. While you are getting wrinkles! While other kids are having sugar, I drank WATER and exercised!
I know all woman ur age are getting fat wrinkle and old. Why do woman ur age all r turning into Karen. Look all woman ur age care about is Work career church and all woman ur age turn into Jesus Christian freaks. Woman ur age r no fun at all. I want fun
@Amazingworld92 A mailman asked me for my parents. I had to show the man my ID! I am also below 5'4. ANYBODY will assume that! People in my college thought I was at least 18. I had to remind them at the time that was 8-9 YEARS ago! I have nothing to prove to you low lifes! My age or physical apperance is NONE of your damn business!
Dude, I have no wrinkles except for having migraines all my life. I am barely 100 pounds.
"Look all woman ur age care about is Work career church and all woman ur age turn into Jesus Christian freaks. Woman ur age r no fun at all. I want fun" So go be a dog. Maybe the people who eat dog will do justice if you die out there if you want "fun". Because that is what will happen if STDs don't get you. Nobody cares, troll. Get a life. Because you have none. And you want a woman! Dude, she'll leave you for somebody who is doing something for himself. Not a loser.
I have no doubt all the BS you say to me is everything YOU ARE. And if that is the case? LIVE and DEAL with it! Stop blaming women or "Karens" for your problem. Do you know why people are "Karens" Now? They're sick of society's BS while you shoot, drink, and kill others to death? Breeding degeneracy. And I am not "breeding" with a degenerate MAN. BYE BYE!
STOP telling stories. Woman ye age r all Karen u r funny by the way.
You r a weird strange woman how do people live with u? No wonder u still single at 28 yup I will be a 40 year old with 20 cats 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🐾🐾🐾🐾🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐯🐯🐯🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈
*YOU!
Are you black?
@Amazingworld92 Goodbye loser. People live with me because I'm human. Not inhuman like yourself. Goodbye. I love cats and all animals. Nothing strange about me. Your just a jerkoff who can't get anybody stable. I honestly don't care. No. I'll be 40 with a mansion while your basement-dwelling self will still be asking your parents for money. You're a joke man. Move on.
What do women bring to a relationship besides sex? Men provide finance and security.
@Floppy2112 And what did God say a woman is? A helpmeet. Judge women as you do, your judging God for whom he made. He didn't have to make Eve for Adam. But he did. You are called to love. Not hate. If you don't want a woman to only bring sex. STOP CHASING US FOR IT! We owe you nothing. I asked for courtship and intimacy by enjoying my time with a person. Not sex! A woman cannot have sex with a man without love. Any sex she does without love is toxic sex and somebody gets hurt. I'm a virgin for a reason. I know what God called me to do. To honor and follow what he commanded. Not man.
I'll tell you what God tells me. "You are not single because you are being punished. You are single because no man has shown and proven to deserve me. For now ON, Any MAN who desires you will have to go through me FIRST. You are free to marry if you choose. You are pure! No man has ever touched you. I condemn you NOT."
God's order of HEADSHIP: Is him, Jesus, Husband, Wife, CHILD. Where are you being obedient GENTLEMAN? You disobey God and his commandments and yet you ask for a WOMAN? This is why most of your prays for a woman isn't getting ANSWERED. And you're left for silence due to disobedience! You literally do so by your actions. As Jesus's had said. You flatter me with your lips but your HEART is FAR FROM ME.
Whoa, you talk too much! Holy crap.
And here comes the ad hominems.
You are a bad human being. I am blocking you.
@btbc92 Most men recognize they need to bring value in order to attract women, I don't think women understand they need to bring value in order to keep a man.
Yes and no. Women, like men always think about whether a situation could be changed for the better. Women more so, cause men are able to find contentment more easily.
But once a woman loves a man (has a strong bond of love and understanding), all other men falls out. at least in my experience.
Problem with today is the strong bond is broken because most sleep around and don't sacrifice anything for eachother. Sacrifice build commitment and helps you stay together through hard times instead of giving up. History is important in a relationship cause if you haven't given up anything for eachother, you can easily come to the conclusion that the marriage ain't worth the fuss once conflict arises. People get married when they have everything settled, instead of staying together when things are rough.
Women also don't value their chastity anymore, it doesn't become a sacrifice cause they gave it to some random dude in their teens who never got evaluated by their father. It isn't an incentive to stay with a man and make it work
Hahha thank you! A good analogy is the tape. The more objects you stick it to, the less it'll stick eventually.
salute
Hypergamy is a very real thing, only not as strong in every woman. If you, as a man, don't slack off in ambition, don't become lazy, still take care of your physique, know how to please her in bed, lead in the relationship, are in tune with your masculinity and still know how to provide, the chances are much more slim for her to seek someone elsewhere or start to develop interest in the next dude.
Yet, often the most successful people get cheated on regardless. This goes to show a woman's loyalty changes depending on her mood and conditions. Conciously and unconsciously, they are comparing other men and other women's men with her own. And when you as a man don't have your shit together and she isn't emotionally attached to you, you've increased your odds significantly of getting cheated on and/or going to be dumped.
Hypergamy is serioiusly kind of deperessing when you think about it. Your girlfriend will only "love" you for aslong as she respects you and looks up to you. It sucks to think that your beloved girlfriend only values what you have to offer. I like to think when i meet some girls that they are not like that. But then i fear i might lose them so i just accept the harsh reality of being a man and keep doing what a man does. Unfortunately it goes to the extent where i dont even feel confident expressing certain emotions.
Nailed it. You've done well. :)
Just look at what the military wives do when their men go on deployment. [rolls eyes]
If you get sick or injured, or lose your job, your chances go up exponentially that she'll shut down sexually, cheat or bail. It's just the sad reality of the female brain.
Men love idealistically.
Women love opportunistically.
They're all in, and stay all in, as long as their feeling is that their needs are being met. Lord help you if her feelings change.
@SngBirdy - Yep, don't over share. And never put your whole stock into ANY woman. It's a sure-fire way to get shot down.
It's very hard to get the younger studs to understand this - they've been fed a line of bullshit from every woman in his life, mother, teacher, grandmother, aunts, sisters, they're all the same. Mostly the guys won't wise up 'till some bimbo rips his head off and shits down his neck hole. :)
@Browneye57 I agree , Also I have seen these behavior in all woman once they get old fat and ugly the complain about us for wanting a much younger woman. My wife bitchs all the time for the music I play.
@SngBirdy it’s sadly true that respect is so integral when it comes to female attraction towards men. Sometimes it’s a good thing (being attracted to a so so looking good who is badass in other aspects) and other times is a real shitty thing (friendzoning a good looking “nice” guy)
Men can usually separate this more.
Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. Women get off on a man being successful. The woman could have the 40k/year boyfriend and when that boyfriend makes a big sale at work or closes an important business deal she'll get hot for him. It's not really/simply about money. Maybe it's some primal thing from back when the dude would return to the village with food he killed himself. It's something to celebrate. I bet the guy who killed the best & biggest animal got more attention from women than the guy who came back with a basket of apples.
It's about how she feels. That can be complicated. The best thing for you to do is have life goals that don't revolve around women and be the best you can be for you. Everything will work out.
And yes, the bazillion years of biological programming is at play here. Where she chose best suitor to defend her and her offspring from saber-tooth tiger and roaming tribesmen. Women just don't introspect. Period. It is ALL and ALWAYS about the FEELZ.
Opinion
70Opinion
No because not All women see a man as a deal... Some of us actually see a man as a person, a best friend, a lover, someone to be with in good times and bad, to get through the ups and downs in life together. Not all women are chasing a man's wallet or looking for a provider. In A relationship, you provide for one another... And this whole system of judging people in a # scale is ridiculous... What you think is an 8 might already be her 10...
@Brainsbeforebeauty You were a part of the last good generation.
I do not think that women are "always looking for a better deal", however, I do think they seek growth and both professional and personal Improvement within the relationship. If the woman does not feel and see that she is having positive effects in your life then, yeah, you may assume she is wrong hearted and shallow. It always is a 50/50 so if this is happening to you then step back and figure out your role in it and "fix" those things for the next time around.
u I don't think most women are that shallow.
One question to all men who believe in "hiiting wall" and prime time of women/men. So according to these men women are in their prime when they are before 30s aka young and men are in their prime when they are successful and have their shit together. This means that woman's "prime time" is limited due to her age while men's depends on his success. So why should a woman in her prime should not get the best man to marry before "hitting the wall"? So if you as a man believe in "prime time" and "hitting wall", then you can't be mad at women in her prime who only want men in his prime time. Why should a young woman in her prime time accept you, while you can't accept a woman who is not in her prime although you are also not in your prime.
I wish there would be a time travel machine so i can go to the future, try to attract men while i am not young anymore and see who accept me, and then go to the present and marry this man, when i am young lol. I personally would prefere a virgin young man over a non virgin wealthy man.
Yes i also care about looks. I have to be attracted to him but that does not mean he should be a model. Just average looking man and if he is tall, then it is a huge bonus.
I personally would not leave my dream guy just because some guy has more money/looks.
Hello sexy
I dont think anyone disagrees with you. I dont think anyone is mad about women being women and liking things that women usually like in men.
What frustrates most guys i think is the fact that guys love women unconditionally, while women only love what men have to offer. I guess its comparable to the feeling that a woman has when she realizes that a guy only wants for sex. It feels awful, doesn't it? Im not a woman but i can imagine how awful that must feel. Well guys have that too, but in a different sense. We think that you only love as aslong as we can provide and give, and if we ever any shortcomings or we get into difficult times, you leave us. Thats what OP is referring to with his question, thats what hypergamy is. Its the constant fear of being in the spotlight, of having to deliver. Its like working a job where your boss is constantly watching over your shoulder and when you get too slow, you are fired even though you've been in the company for 5 years already.
I understand my role as a man and when a woman doesn't want me, i blame it on myself. Obvioiusly not all guys are like that. a lot of guys dont have anything to offer but they think they deserve a pretty young woman. Those are the men you are refering to. Yes, they are wrong.
@SngBirdy i personally dont believe that men love women unconditional if they believe in such concepts like prime time since they would not want their women if they were not in their prime. I can understand your frustration. i have seen many women who even dont leave their eveb though their husbands cheated on them or even if they dont provide their women abymore. Therefore, think hypergamy is just an instinct that you can control like polygamy. Men also dont cheat on their women although they are polygamous according to biology. So dont worry that much. You can dm and i like the way you think. We can discuss there
Also this is why i dont really believe in gender roles. You should be for your man even if he loses his job, he can stay at home and do household chores, while you work and vica versa for example. Or both should do the best to look attractive to eachother but that does not mean, you should leave your partner if she/he get fat. You can motivate him/her to loose weight. I personally dont understand why you would leave someone for this like wtf. This is all excuses. You only should leave someone if he/she is become physically/mentally abuse you.
@hi_it_is_me123
Unconditional isn't the right word i guess. Guys do not love without conditions. I guess its a relative thing. Guys have a lot less conditions than women do, i guess. I never see these endless lists of nit-picky requirements from men. Thats what people talk about when they talk about hypergamy, or they say "she isn't your girlfriend, its just your turn" or when men complain about a lot of women having "backup boyfriends"which is a true phenomen.
"Therefore, think hypergamy is just an instinct that you can control like polygamy". You are absolutely right and its one of the first steps to realize certain "gender-flaws" exist in order to resist them. While hypergamy is real, it doesn't mean you have to cater to it. Thats a good quality about a woman. Polygamy in men is real too, absolutely. Men want to be with as many women as possible, have as many children as possible, and they dont want to dedicate their life to a single woman, as evil as they may sound. But does that mean thats how men should behave, thats its a good thing just because its "natural" for us? No. While i do accept and know the polygamus nature within me, i resist it, i fight it. Thats what i think is the right thing to do for me as a man.
To some women like you perhaps, questions like this thread may sound stupid to you. Just like how i can't understand men who cheat on their girlfriend because they met a younge or prettier one. But unfortunately, a lot of men and women will cater and not resist their gender-flaws, and simply give in to these "instincts".
What is your conditions? I personally would prefere that men have more physically preferences rather age preferences. It feels lie shit to know that therr arr people who see you as leftovers above 30s although you can't change your age. I dont know.
I personally would love it if people reduce me on my success rather than on my beauty/youth that i can't control. I dont know. At least success is a personality trait while beauty/youth means physical traits. I want to be reduced on my personality not just on my beauty/youtz which means nothing
Do you think that some women can cheat on men due to hypergamy?
Uhh, the basic ones i guess and my own unique ones. It makes us men look like we have low standards but thats just how it is. We dont expect women to be successfull, to have hobbies, to be confident, to lead conversations or be funny and protect us. Its all relative and everyone is different but there's a pattern in most guys preferences. We want simple things, some of them vain, some not.
Obviously most guys want a pretty girlfriend. Thats just the truth. Girls know that, thats why they put so much effort into their appereance. But thats not hard to do. Men find women pretty in general, and women are born quite pretty to begin with.
And something a lot of men also want which women probably dont realize is kind, warm and nurturing behaviour. Men are sorrounded by men. Men are mean to each other. We fight each other, we are competitive to each other. We measure up to each other, put others down, try to better than each other. We dont give compliments to each other, and most times jokingly insult each other. When i have a girlfriend, i dont want more of that. I want to be able to relax, to hear a compliment for once in my life, for someone to grab my face and say "its okay" with a kind voice. I might sound like a bitch but when having to live with the constant pressure of being strong, tough, confident and having your shit together, i just want to escape that from time to time.
I think the absolute worst and most unattractive thing in a woman is to be rude and cold. Its disgusts me.
This is all very complicated though and im just one individual. For example, i lose all my interest in a woman when she doesn't open her mouth and just nods and smiles to everything i say. Meanwhile my friend says he doesn't care, he just wants her to be pretty and "silent". He also doesn't care when a girl is rude or bold in her tone of voice and behaviour. Very different from me.
Then there is also a lot of guys who literally only care about your appereance. Like legit its the only thing they look at, nothing else matters.
" I personally would prefere that men have more physically preferences rather age preferences". I think age and appereance goes hand in hand. Young women are considered desireable because they are prettier, not because of some number. But thats just a guess. If you were 50 years old and looked 20, i dont think anyone would care.
Someone who loves you would not leave you for no reason such as hypergamy lol. We dont live in a forest like animals. You should not worry much hypergamy. I dont know anyone who left someone as soon as she saw someone better looking. This is so stupid' cause there is no end. There is going always someone who is better looking, more successful etc. than you. I personally think a woman who especially have kids can't just leave her husband/boyfriend. I dont know this sounds so funny to me since every would have single/divorced parents.. i think you exagerate a little. Women are not that bad.
By the way i think women have it harder. You have to work so a woman like you which is just a personality trait while women can't change the way they look. You just complain that you have to fight/compete with other guys for your girlfriend while your girlfriend dont even have that choice and she is relied on beauty/youth which dont last forever. I dont know
@hi_it_is_me123 You should come to America and you would see for yourself. Most children do have single or divorced parents.
Jamie what? I dont understand what you mean? Most children have single parents because majority of the people make kids without thinking or make kids before marriage. In my culture there is no way you divorce if you have kids 'cause you live for your kids and kids deserve parents who are not divorced except there is serious physical abuse. The moment you get kids, you loose the luxury to think about you. The problem in america or in any other western country is not waiting till marriage or not having a serious relationship. So if you have a partner, he/she can be the potential mum/dad and it does not matter how careful you are-you still can end up being preg. So many western people should stop having 'fun' with many people without thinking about consequences and then being suprised about being single parent. Seriously it should be forbidden to have kids before marriage lol.
@Jamie05rhs there are also many immature women who date badboys and reject nice guys aka end up being single parent. But i also think i have the luxury to have strict conservative parents who loves me and cares about me. Many western women who date badboys have no father figure etc and i kinda feel bad for them. I understand better now how important it is to have a father. I heard that America kinda discriminate dads/men when it comes to marriage and custody. So i hope it gets better for you guys
@hi_it_is_me123 Yes, it is true that some American girls just get pregnant and have babies from hookups. But some also get pregnant and have babies from dating relationships, and then the guy does not stay; he leaves them. But in addition, one huge phenomenon here is the U. S. is women who actually get married and have babies with their husbands, and then they get tired of their husbands and divorce them, so then they become a single mother by choice. Just because they didn't like their husband.
And yes, I agree with you that children deserve parents who are not divorced. But people don't think that way here in America. They only think of themselves. They think that their happiness is more important than their kid's happiness. (This is a very narcissistic society.)
Yes, I completely agree that Western people should not be so promiscuous. And I have been preaching that here on GAG, if you have seen my comments.
And yes- I totally agree about the immature girls who date "bad boys.". They are extremely foolish.
And I am proud of your parents for teaching you well, and I am also proud of you for being wise and listening to their teaching.
And yes. Thank you. ❤️
There is a big difference between what women say and what women do. Women say they don't do that shit. But they do it all the time.
Women are looking to trade up in a heartbeat. The second the 'Wooo' of the relationship wears off, she will take the highest bidder.
It's the same with nice. You know how women say they like 'nice guys' but almost universally go out with the 'bad boy'? Yup, same thing.
That's why I tell men not to ask women for dating advice, because they lie. The advice is not for you, they want the guy they think is unattainable to act that way to them. They are not interested in the average Joe. 80% of women want 20% of men.
How is it that the numbers of sexual encounters for women have gone up drastically in the last 20 years, BUT the number of sexual encounters for men have simultaneously gone down in the same time period. How does that math workout, when if one is getting more the other should be getting more too. But that isn't happening.
What is happening is that most of the women are swapping around the top 20% of men. So you have a small minority men with extremely high body counts and the 80% having little to none. But the women are having sex more than every, but with that same group of men, who are happy to service as many women as will let them.
My guess is girlfriend and boyfriend, most westernized women will probably ditch the 8/10 guy for the 9/10 guy who earns more money. Wife... maybe... maybe not. But keep in mind, 70% of divorces initiated by women. If they're college educated, the chance of the initiating divorce is much higher.
I'd like to not believe it, I'd like to believe women still go for love even if the guy is a bit of a shlub, etc... but I think that's pretty much on it's way out for the most part. From what I have personally seen... even in church culture, women of a certain generation will tend to look for whatever is the best they think they can get (guys will do that to a lesser degree). There are no qualms about ditching a slightly less successful guy for a more successful guy (provided both aren't horrible dudes) if they think they can do better. Either they will more happily put up with the late nights and sudden schedule changes because they get more money (and maybe they don't have to put up with him), or they'll leave him/cheat because he's "unavailable" (but they probably make more than it would be to divorce the 40k guy).
For a guy who is a 6/10, earning less than 35k... and is "boring" (but is otherwise good husband material) - good luck finding (and keeping) a woman who will stick by a guy like that (in most westernized women under 40). You may luck out and get a few months, but she'll eventually drop you the second she feels she has what she thinks is better.
I would say more than half of them but not all of them. I was once used as a “placeholder” years ago. She left without a word and two weeks later changed her FB status to being in relationship with someone else.
There was no argument or disagreement between us before this happened. She didn’t show up to a date a week earlier (we were dating for 2 months) and the next day I asked her what happened. She apologized and said she would “make it it up to me”. She f*cking made it up to me alright.
I didn’t say a word to her or anyone else (for a few months) but internally the lack of respect gore me up. I also was competing in combat sports at the time and i had a fight coming up.
During training (which is often grueling) I was cutting weight and getting beat up. After sparring hard one day my assistant coach pulled me to the side and yelled at me to go harder. I was kicking shin pads as hard as I could. I told him I needed to stop.
I then got down my knees and in complete humiliation started crying (hard). It was the training or the stress of the fight. But the training tore away my ability to stay emotionally balanced. It was about her. I ended up losing a fight I should of won.
Bottom line is don’t do that shit to people. Guys might not say anything and try to save face. But unless they are socio/psycho paths it’s going to hurt them.
Questions like these are pointless. Both genders are extremely fluid when it comes to personalities and desires. You can’t ask questions like this and assume all men/women are like whatever that group said because 10 or 100 said a similar answer because you’ll find 10 or 100 who go against that answer.
Some women will leave their men for what they perceive as better if the opportunity presented itself and some women won’t. There isn’t one universal answer for questions like these because human beings are extremely complicated creatures. They’re similar in some cases and different in others but never ever exactly the same.
No I’m not always looking for someone better. I found the guy I want to be with for the rest of my life. Besides, I can make my own money so I don’t consider a guy’s income as something that makes him more attractive or appealing. For me, the attraction and chemistry, his personality, long term values and goals, in addition to who the guy is as a person are more important. How much the guy makes is never a factor for me but it’d be a great bonus if he’s doing a job or career that he loves or is working toward it. His happiness means the world to me and I’d do what I can to make it possible for him.
No. Not unless she's using him , just so she's not single.
I don't agree with using a number scale to judge someone's looks. I don't look at one guy and view him as a 10 and another guy a 5 etc etc. He's either good-looking or he's not. There's no inbetween. But just because I find a guy good-looking, that doesn't mean I'll automatically want to date him or get to know him more. I'm not attracted to every good-looking guy I see.
I need to be physically attracted to a guy I'm in a relationship with, but his appearance isn't the reason why I stay in a relationship with him. That's too superficial. You can't build a happy long-term relationship built on looks alone
I had a good looking guy and yes I want another good looking guy. But I'm not shallow enough to want a overtly good looking guy like I did have why, simply because he's everyone else's. The guys I'm used to dating are men with character and they are charismatic this guy wasn't charismatic at all. The more I think back I liked that he was good looking and was bashful around me. I was it, for him. But when he started to achieve financial/career goals he turned into the nastiest sack of crap. Despite how understanding and considerate I was of him.
I was always considerate of his downfalls and encouraging him. Where he cut me down..
Any man that comes along and treats me even 20% better than he did would be an upgrade trust me.
I'm ashamed to say I dated such a hideous insensitive person.. I hope he grows up!
Nah not me. I’m not that practical I am an emotional fool. I have had one boyfriend since I was 15.
And no he isn’t wealthy at all. He lives with his mother and tells me I will have to aswell when we get married. I have never thought about going for someone rich who can upgrade my life or anything.
As for attraction, I am picky as hell and wouldn’t be with someone I wasn’t 200% attracted to in the first place. It isn’t fair on the person. I don’t want anyone who isn’t extremely physically attracted to me to be with me. I don’t find anyone more physically attractive than him and I expect it to be mutual.
Some women are actually like that, but not all. I lean towards voting yes though, I just can't vote because there was no "sometimes" vote. We have terms like "alpha widowed" because they'll do things like judge the shit out of their current man because Chad from back in the day did something better.
At the same time though, this is something I'm noticing... these chicks that have all these ultra-high standards... I'm just noticing they tend to get ran through by men, but they really suck at holding down a long-term relationship. Just something I'm starting to notice. I mean maybe I'm wrong, and I just keep seeing the same thing.
Yes.
That said. The "better" deal for a lot of woman is getting their man to grow and improve, rather than looking for a new man who happens to be farther along.
When you hear girls say they're okay dating a guy at the bottom as long as he has some ambition. They're saying that he'll be a better and better deal over time.
It's an old trope but remains true. A guy picks a girl thinking she'll stay the same girl over time. A girl picks a guy expecting him to change over time.
This is where problems arise lol.
It's nothing so simple, kiddo.
It's all about "needs" and "wants". You could get a woman who wants very little in terms of looks and money. but needs sex and a loving man. Obviously she'll cheat when you can no longer match her sex drive.
But on the other side you can get women who want you for you and need you to build a life around them. These tend to be the more stable types and less likely to cheat. But you need to ensure you are on a stable path yourself.
To put it simply. Get a wife for your life, not lifestyle, as she'll only last as long as the latter.
Often enough, yes.
It's called Hypergamy and Briffaults law.
"Hypergamy is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person marrying a spouse of higher caste or social status than themselves."
"The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place."
No. Women want security. If we have that we will not look for it because we already have it. If our 8/10 makes us feel like our relationship isn’t secure or like we have to doubt it, we will want to leave and find the better option. But I’m our minds, Better=Secure. We would not automatically think a man is better because of looks or money but because of how we can fit into his life and if he can give us that which our last relationship lacked which is security. Most people don’t prefer to downgrade and so if we felt that it’d current partner is more financially stable and more attractive we wouldn’t prefer to seek someone who isn’t as financially stable/attractive BUT before both of those comes security. So it’s possible to lose a girl if you don’t make her feel secure
A man could be financially sound but beat the shit out of you and the kids. You’re trying to tell me finances would make that okay and make you feel secure? Okay next.
@Orangesareyummy I didn’t say anything remotely like that
Oops that wasn’t for you...
Oops again that wasn’t for you. I even took off my downy vote.
No, sorry you’ve met some really shadey women :/ but trust, there are really great women who will love, be loyal, and value their men such as myself. Hope you change your lenses and find someone who will appreciate you.
It would depend on personality,
If he’s a nice guy treats her with respect and it a always treating her like she means the world to him and is loyal she wouldn’t leave but if her boyfriend is disrespectful. , cheap with her and isn’t loyal and she should obviously leave for the better option.
Let me be honest. There are some materialistic/ gold-digging women out there. But the rest are not looking for a the next best thing while in a relationship. Worst case scenario: the relationship is going to hell and she may consider ending things to pursue other options.
You will always come across women on both sides - those who chase money and looks, those who chase a connection.
I think the majority of women chase a real connection - someone who loves them, would love their child... money isn’t everything.
A woman who chases money isn’t interested in a long term meaningful commitment. Go for the girl who is happy you brought her wild flowers you picked off the roadside on a Tuesday “because”.
Then u woman get fat old and ugly you neglected ur apperence. I would not waste my time on a woman ur age when there younger 18 year olds out there
The day I acknowledge it is appropriate to treat human beings as commodities like automobiles, to be traded up or down, at the whim of the unscrupulous slave dealer or car dealer, and you don't worry buyer this day, I call it quits on our relationship models for human beings and say that people just don't play nice with each other anymore.
Not likely. Money trumps looks, easily.
What you're referring to is hypergamy. It says that a woman can and will dump a perfectly good man if she can snag what she thinks is a better one, in terms of power, money, looks, etc. It is their free right to do so. They can and will fuck any guy, any time they want, any place they want. Just ask them!
that's not necessarily the case and I love my boyfriend and it also depends on his personality and if he treats you well , so I'm not gonna leave him to be with someone else if I know he's the one for me and if I've had feelings for him for a long time
Yes, until they feel they've been properly taken off the market. A lot of the girls I've dated have been with other guys when I met them. In fact, most top-quality girls are with someone already, simply because they're so desirable that they don't remain single for long. Most girls who are just dating will dump their current boyfriends if a better guy comes along. That's why they call it "winning" a girl. It's a competition, and everyone is out for the top prize.
Not really - it's just that commitment is not a given, so unless she feels secure, she might just look for a better deal.
It is bizzare, since girls get taught both that they are disposable/never enough, and that, on the back of that, they should keep on the lookout for their next 'best mate'/new husband.
That stuff gets marketed as 'economy of experiences' (or of (sexual) fantasy).
Women are weird if the guy looks like a super model but has a crap attitude and no job. They think they can fix him.
On the other hand if he's rich but looks ass ugly. Then they would say looks doesn't matter or age is just a number.
But... If she can get a guy that improves in all categories why wouldn't she trade up?
Cause she loves you? Oh please... This is the country where we popularized getting divorced.
Let's not kind ourselves. Guys and girls both look for the best deal they can get in a partner. Once they are in a committed relationship that doesn't mean they will cheat, but it's normal to search for that "best deal" when you are in the partnering stage.
Being honest depends on the women. My ex was ugly but I admired him for his talents and it made that I loved him. When we were together I didn't have eyes for other guys (even when they were good looking and very independent economically).
But on the other hand, I saw girls that have a checklist about what they want for a guy and hear that if they find someone better they could change their couple, but for the moment they were their best option.
Both yes and no. On one end you have women who don't stop looking for the next oerson that they think is better. On the other end you have women when they do find a truly wonderful person to be with they stop looking. Others are somewhere in between. Same goes with guys.
I think many do when they’re young without even realising it. You don’t know who you are yet and you’re trying things and figuring out what you do and don’t like. Plus it’s rare people have developed any required skills at that age for a good relationship. I’d say that is he age of the learning curve for everyone.
And when I say many, that implies guys too.
Isn’t that kind of a shallow measurement? Sure, they’re definitely pluses when we first meet, but there’s a LOT of other factors that matter. As a woman, I want security- physically, financially, emotionally.
But but but you don’t want masculine men...
A woman's whole entirety is how much she's loved above all else or anyone. And then what she can obtain along the way. Her journey becomes navigated through emotions or thevlack of. Her respect for a guy depends on how she receives that wonton love she feels. She's driven by who shows her the love she's yearning for. Always on the road for that perceived love..
64% of men in your poll think that women would do that and 82% of women say that they wouldn't and I am one of them. There's no reason for me to dump my boyfriend for someone "better" because there's always going to be someone better. Guys are the ones who always want "newer version". I'd only dump him for serious reasons that cannot be changed.
No. Only specific women are like that, just like me looking for a trophy wife/girlfriend
Most girls are with a guy because they like them as they are and feel safe with them
I’d only dump him if we are too different in terms of goals/mindset/beliefs/etc
I think thats a yes then.
@kingofthellamas you based it on money/looks. I’m basing it on commonality. I do prefer someone i have more in common with
No, I based my responce on that you said goals/mindset/belief. It's still looking for a better deal.
@kingofthellamas well it is what it is then. Never settle for less
Hypergamy is real, my friend.
It is your duty to accept the reality of it means to be a man, and do as you are supposed to. And when you do that, your girlfriend won't leave you.
Women are always looking for a better man.
It is called hypergamy.
I don't look for "better" deals. I just look for a deal. Or The Deal, I don't just pick someone to be temporarily be with. I look and wait until I found that person so I don't have to look for deals ever again.
Not all women. The ones that do that are usually the ones posting pictures of themselves on instagram and covet more affluent lifestyles. They use their looks to try to trade up to a man who can give them a lifestyle that they can't give hemselves.
No. Not true. I mean some women do that but so do some men, if the guy is really shallow and the girl is hotter or more popular than their current girlfriend.
Not if she actually loves the guy, but if the relationship itself wasn't going well for her, I'm sure she would weigh out her choices, anyone would. So yeah lol.
i'd say everybody wants the best, but different people have their own expectations from a relationship. For example, my sister only dates men who could provide for her, and I prefer handsome guys.
Depends on woman ofc, I'd say, maybe if she's a golddigger or isn't that much in love with previous dude, she would.
Not it there is love. Your boyfriend could be a 5 in both departments (objectively) but if in your eyes he is a 10 and you love him... Henry cavill could come along and you still wouldn’t want him 😂
I´d go for no because if something doesn´t click in the relationship both partners will look for better options.
Mostly, but some girls can actually form emotional attachment and love a guy, so even if there’s a better guy should would prefer t stay with him
its jus rare cos most girls are materialistic these days, despite what they might tell you
Generally, no under the conditions you gave, but if a woman can find a man who makes a lot of money, looks good and treats her well then she will most likely leave the other man if the difference is too great.
It's human nature.
Some do others don't.
I assure you a 8/10 guy doesn't lament all too long if a woman leaves him for rich 9/10, but he doesn't take her back if her strategy goes wrong. It's dignity and you should have it in both options.
Looks fade, if someone were always looking to upgrade... they'll find it harder in life later on when they themselves fade with time.
She'll first demand that the guy who make's 40 a year make 70000 and try to look like a 9, and when he doesn't do those, she'll dump him and her excuse will be that he wasn't making as much effort as she was making in their relationship. She won't admit she's a gold digger.
It depends if u really like the person I personally would still w my boyfriend but if I didn’t really had feelings for him or realized he couldn’t take me anywhere i would break up
Hey beautiful
She might and answer to such questions are not simple and just two faceted thus is multi faceted thing. Probably lot goes in here. It varies person to person. Dizzi had some good pointers to start with.
No, I care about the person, not their looks or material wealth.
Because like most humans, we always want to be on top of everything and have the best of everything.
To me if she was like that she not worth being with in the beginning… it’s all about the money….
So she is the one who is using…
So it’s a no from me sorry …
I think most women are boring, so if I love her personality then chances are I'd stay with her. She doesn't have to be a super model but I do need to find her hot physically in some way.
Empirical data > emotional responses. PEOPLE will almost always drop a 7 for a 9.
What's the deal with these questions? Are all people the same? Do you really think all women think and do things the same all over the world?
So u don’t want people to look for an upgrade from their ex? that’s what the better deal is😭
Do you know what my thoughts are on this question? Did I give an answer to this question? No. Also this isn’t about your exes this is about leaving your current boyfriend/husband for something that you deem as better. Please read the question correctly shitty opinions girl.
Not that “shitty opinions girl”😭😭😭👋 I’m ctfu u must’ve thought that I was gonna be hurt by that but damnnn sorry I’m not💕 and people can break up and leave whoever they want for who they think is better that’s not my cup of tea but people can do what they want
Never said they couldn’t. I asked a question and you again I might add are getting offended over a hypothetical situation.
Not getting offended over anything honey😌I answered the question and that’s it thnx tho👋
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