Is he stringing me along?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been talking to him for months. He finally came to ÇA where I live... he lives in SD. The first night I hung out with his friends and it went really well and not just for me, for him too because he kept asking me when I coming back to hang out because I’m fun. A few days later we went to my friends birthday weekend but it was off because my friend and I aren’t on great terms right now. I only went because she expected me to be there and he had planned to go and hang out with us for this weekend for 3 months. It honestly sucked. We all went to dinner and he bought my dinner but he made sure to add that it was because I picked everyone up and drove them to the airbnb. He didn’t really touch me that much either outside of sex. He held my hand coming back from dinner and would sit next to me when he all hung out but didn’t initiate much more. Then when I left the day we checked out of the airbnb, I asked if I’d see him later that night and he gave me the old, “I don’t know because I don’t know what time we’ll be back”. Aka I’m not that into you. I was for sure that’s what it meant at least. Then he went back home and had continued to talk to me. I don’t know if it’s just he would feel like a jerk to ghost me or just habit to talk. We talked last night and he asked when I was coming to visit and I said “oh I didn’t realize you wanted me to. I thought you weren’t interested”. His response was, “false I just know that living multiple states away would be really difficult”. I’m still skeptical. I know it would be hard, I’m not negating that but also if you’re really interested you’d still try. Right?

[FlirtWithMeeee]

I was scrolling along in unanswered questions when I came across your post. I see that your post is 28 days old. How are things? Are you still with this guy? I decided to respond to this because, well, we both must be nuts. Why are we expecting some sort of miraculous long distance romance? I’m in ….(was? sigh...) in a similar situation, questioning a long distance relationship, except mine is in another country! (Interestingly, I’m also in California, Southern California. What part are you from?)
In your case, I’m curious as to what happened. My guess is either it ended, the indication being his comment, “I don’t know because I don’t know what time we’ll be back” (you’re right, to think an aka there) or you are still talking to each other, but not because you are really into each other but because, well, it’s someone to talk to… In the second case, you would both be stringing each other along. I have found in my long distance relationship, an agreed sense of direction and our relationship, kind of helped us to focus on things. Establishing multiple connections is also a must. The lack of those connections should really make you consider if this relationship is really what you want.

[Asker]

Thank you for the reply! Yeah he talks to me here and there. Is flirty when he does. Asks me to come visit but when I ask him when that would be he offers weekdays instead of weekends because “he usually is busy and always has plans”. Incredibly off putting that he wants me to travel all that way when he won’t even clear one weekend for us to hang out. I think that’s my answer right there.