If my gut is telling me she isn’t interested in me, is it most likely correct?

[Anonymous]

[NathanDavis]

most likely correct, could still be 100% wrong, just saying.

[Asker]

Combine your gut with the signs it usually is very clear

[NathanDavis]

signs are open to interpretation... but what are the signs?

[Asker]

I mean her text are formal
She doesn’t initiate calls or text
She flakes on plans

[NathanDavis]

what about signs of interest, have you seen or heard any.

[gangbang101]

According to those signs, no she doesn't like you. move on.

[Asker]

We work together and the only sign that I saw early on was she would come around me a lot. There weren’t many signs but people would say that she likes me.

[gangbang101]

if she flakes on dates and doesn't reach out, it means she has no interest in you. You dont need to look at the positive signs.

[Asker]

You’re right. I don’t want to make excuses for her but she canceled because she had to babysit her nephew. She said his daycare was closed. I don’t know whether to believe that or not but she hasn’t talked about hanging out since

[NathanDavis]

if she flakes on plans... how much are you planning, and how are you presenting your plan?
Maybe you're not assertive enough and she's not into that?

I remember my ex-girlfriend did not like me to ask "where would you want to eat?" "what do you feel like having?" it seems indecisive... she either liked to tell me, let's go out, because she wanted to go out. Or she liked to hear it from me becuse I actually wanted to go out with her, so.

Maybe, it could be something like this, maybe you have to plan it exactly, and just tell her you want to take her out tomorrow, or on the weekend, say you will pick her up at whatever time at her door, or anything, sometimes you have to make things happen, that's what it takes... and if you try this, and she still says "no thanks" well then... you will be 100% sure she's not interested.

[gangbang101]

if she cancels and doesn't follow up or tries to reschedule then clearly she is trying to let you down easily. She is scared to outright reject you because she feels it will create a toxic environment.
Keep it cool and friendly and move on as far as dating with her unless she asks you out. You did a big move and asked her out and thats already a good thing.

[Asker]

I called her up on FaceTime and asked her to get brunch on Friday. She said yes and sounded like she was up for it. I think like you said she is trying to let me down easily. I just have to take the hint because obviously she won’t tell me directly. She doesn’t want to create a toxic environment at work because when I’m quiet she thinks it’s about her. She comes around and I could tell she feels bad and I hate that

[gangbang101]

just keep it cool. The ball is in her court, if she asks you to hang out then make plans but dont cancel any of your plans you have for her...

[Asker]

So at work just keep it cool and spark conversation?

[gangbang101]

Yeah. Act like it didn't bother you and be friendly but dont ask her out again. Also be professional, don't flirt with her or anything like that. Dont go out of your way to initiate anything with her. Be responsive and friendly.