Why do guys judge girls off there past experiences with women?

[Juicyred921]

[wankiam]

we are not all like that. i treat every girl i meet as an individual and maybe you are guilty yourself of not doing that with guys given the tone of your question, i dont know.. what i would say is anyone can learn from experience to recognize potential traits

[Juicyred921]

My guy is scared to get into a relationship with me cause he has trust issues due to past girlfriends. I I keep telling him I’m not going to hurt him but all he says is “ we’ll see”

[wankiam]

well then he needs to grow up a bit

[hellionthesagereborn]

Because every human being does that. You do that with past experiences with guys and guys do it with past experiences with girls. The reason they do it is because we find patterns and try to use that pattern to discern possible outcomes in the present and/or future.

[OlderAndWiser]

Are you asking why guys judge girls if the girl has had lesbian experiences in her past?

[Juicyred921]

Umm no

[OlderAndWiser]

Oh, "their" refers to the guys' previous experiences with women. Got it.

As we gain experience in dating, we accumulated some information about the opposite sex and we tend to organize that in a way that allows us to anticipate how the next partner will behave. Of course, part of that experience is realizing the diversity in how members of the opposite sex conduct themselves, and understanding that women (or men) are not entirely predictable.

But some people are just not that advanced with their understanding of human behavior. That's hy we see questions on this site such as "Why do all guys do this?" or "Why does every woman want _____?"

[Juicyred921]

I just wanna find a way to get him to trust me and know I will never hurt him

[OlderAndWiser]

Trust is something that take time to build, especially is a guy has a bad history in previous relationships. I don't know of any shortcuts.

[Juicyred921]

Well.. he can trust me cause I’m only with him and I only talk to him. But I have a hard time trusting him. I know this girl keeps blowing his phone up and wants to be with him. But he says he doesn’t want her. And doesn’t wanna tell her to fuck off cause he doesn’t wanna be mean. He says we’re basically exclusive.. but I can’t help but be jealous of her. Even though he’s with me all the time.

[OlderAndWiser]

So is it a problem with your relationship or is it a problem with you?

[Juicyred921]

I dono. My friends think it’s me. I’m very insecure. He tells me I have nothing to worry about. That he has no feelings for her and she can’t compare to me. But I’m scared I’m not good enough for him. Not pretty enough. The other girl is prettier and has bigger boobs.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. There will ALWAYS be girls who are prettier and who have bigger boobs.

2. Not every guy wants a girl with bigger boobs.

[Juicyred921]

I’m just scared I’m not enough for him. We’re not in a relationship. So if he wanted to see other girls, I can’t stop him. but I only want him. He says he doesn’t care about seeing other girls.. which is weird for him. He says he’s very content and happy with me. But why do I feel this way?

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe you need to have The Talk with him.

[Juicyred921]

He says right now he’s focused on work and getting his life together. But every time he talks about the future.. where he wants to be.. I’m in this future plan too. Like he wants to buy a property one day and build a house. I said “that’s cool”... thinking he’s talking about himself.. then he says “ it’s just gonna be the two of us so we don’t need that much room”

[OlderAndWiser]

It sounds like you two are solid. . . in his mind.

[Juicyred921]

Then why do I feel so unsure.. so jealous that this girl is texting him.

[OlderAndWiser]

Do you sometimes think that you are like an impostor, afraid of being discovered that you are pretending to be someone who you are not?

[Juicyred921]

No.. never.. that’s the one thing about me.. I am who I am.. I can’t change it.. and I won’t for anyone

[OlderAndWiser]

Do you have a past relationship that involved your partner cheating?

[Juicyred921]

Yes.. my ex and I were together for 15 years. We had sex once a year. Usually when he was really drunk. He cheated a lot. And made me feel very ugly.

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you talked to your current boyfriend about this part of your past?

[Juicyred921]

He knows. But he’s not my boyfriend. He says he has intense feelings for me.. which scares him. Calls me his best friend and lover. But not girlfriend

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe that is part of the insecurity?

[Juicyred921]

His or mine?

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe that fuels your insecurity.

[Juicyred921]

I’m insecure cause of how I look. I’m not a pretty girl. The other girls he’s dated and talk to are way prettier. I’m nothing. I’m nobody.

[FilmGuy93]

Is there something else you would prefer we do? We do that because we are trying to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again. If you have life experience of getting a particular bad outcome when the same circumstances happen multiple times; you're going to look to avoid those similar circumstances so that you don't have another negative outcome.

[boggboss]

Guys don't people do its somthing both genders do as to why because we like to belive we learn from our pasts but many use the past as a way off treating there new partner not understanding people are more complicated then that

[ZackBan]

Because once you're stabbed once you'll make damn sure to put on a thicker armor this time.

It's not fair to judge but taking precautions and moving slowly is not judging it's due diligence

[Browneye57]

AWALT. As in, ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT.
It's not the judging honey, it's the getting to know what women are really like. Yeah, they're on to you, you can't keep bullshitting them forever.

[Juicyred921]

I’m not bullshitting anyone. I told him how I feel about him. And that I’d never hurt him. And he just says “ we’ll see”

[Browneye57]

Well, we all know it is ALWAYS and ALL about the FEELZ. Which are subject to change at any given moment. So yeah, 'we'll see' is just the reality of it all. You ARE an admitted WOMAN after all. The hypergamy and solipsism are built in. Deny it at your peril.

[friendzoned4life]

We guys go trough a lot to be able to date a girl.

So when that trust gets broken it is only logical that we analyse every step the next woman takes to make sure she doesn't have the same Patterson and we can actually trust her

[Juicyred921]

How long does that take?

[friendzoned4life]

Until we notice that you trust us and don't have the same Pattern

[es20490446e]

Because there have been many.

But personally I don't attribute that to all women, just to a non negligible amount of them. Also I assume that with guys is the same.

[genericname85]

well cause that gets the job done well xD thinks you can actually remember are more effective than fantasy.

[fred_durst]

people do that , you can find tons of that posts here , anons got hurt by their SO , and decided to attack opposite sex strangers here , to make them feels better of themselves

[exitseven]

It is like the first time you touch a hot stove and burn your hand.

[Bklynbadboy12]

I don't know why but I definitely wouldn't do that I can't be mad at you over something you did before we even met that sounds crazy

[zagor]

What else would they go on? Their experiences with pets?

[Wiredone]

I don't judge anyone and I don't care about their past experiences. I care about now and the future

[jasco]

I don't just girls off their past to much, but depending on what they did may i judge them.

[KrakenAttackin]

Because past behaviour is a good indication of future behaviour.

[jahaims]

Because that is what judgement is. Making a decision based on past experiences

[Shy_Steve]

Because we usually don't know how you interact with every Woman.

[Pogi-Paddy-2]

I don't judge anyone, it isn't my job to judge anyone.☯️

[Anonymous]

Human nature is to judge anything on any experience you have of it

[Anonymous]

For the same reason that women hate all men based on their poor choices in douchebags they fuck.

[DaMack999]

They got low self esteem real men don't do that.

[Juicyred921]

He did say he had low self esteem

[Wise4myage]

I could see inexperienced guys doing such a thing.

[princeofromance]

We are guys. We are very judgmental.

[lycanthrope3]

They do, but not really fair to anyone