1. A mercilessly sex-obsessed modern "education" racket that increasingly cares only about grooming - and about destroying Christians before they can form credible resistance to groomers. (And ignores every other group that has a problem with it.)
2. Hollywood and MTV going to extreme lengths to destroy healthy friendships, similarly due to an absurdist mindset of worship of the next orgasm as the "highest good." As a consequence, gals cannot simply have gal pals. They must have lesbian inclinations. Dudes can't be buds unless they're gay. And gals must necessarily see all guy pals as potential f*k-buddies.
If you don't perceive someone as having high sexual value under this insane mindset, then they are incapable of being your friend, and you cannot be theirs. This same mindset is drilled into children who are victims of trafficking: your human worth is entirely reduced to only your perceived sexual value.
Years and years of this going unpunished, as the worst of the worst are defended rather than punished by the very agencies we set up to punish them, has led to a culture of pure cynicism. If guy and girl are alone unsupervised for more than three minutes, it's just assumed that they are bumping uglies, unless video proves otherwise.
Likewise, even when minor crushes develop, it's assumed that the crush-holder can never simply want to pursue anything innocent, or settle for anything innocent, with the object of desire.
Instead, the minute a guy smiles at a girl because he likes her, third parties now just assume that in his head, he's ramming her like a snow plow, while scheming to use the back door on the first given opportunity.
And if the girl winks and waves at the dude, it can never be that she admires how he puts the napkins away, or knows what to say to cheer up her day. No... it can only mean that she's chasing that D. That she wants to hold it like a potter making a clay pot. That she wants to lick it like a beer-battered brat. That she wants to guzzle what comes out like it's a bottle of Gatorade.
The sexually greedy, when allowed to hijack education without serious life penalties, eventually create a culture that destroys innocence and friendship. One that, over time, reduces everything to sex, and allows nothing to not be sex.
If it comforts you, at least in Europe, I've never been judged for that, and I would be a big target because during all of my life I had only (and many) male friends, with exceptions of 2-3 female "friends" who weren't really close, more like "friends of friends". And I'm not a lesbian, also, I'm good looking and I had around 5 relationships, more or less serious (while still having all the male friends in contact, yes, and it was never a problem), and some hookups. My orientation to male friendships happened because I'm a very technical and rational person who has attitudes that bring to have approaches to things and hobbies that are usually very strongly typical to males-only. I guess this can contribute to the reason I never been judged for this, because I guess everyone "senses" I'm a kind of person that "makes sense" to have mostly male friends. However, I have to say I never seen "regular" females being judged for this, around me. The only thing that is simlar to a judgement (indirect) is when some older generations mean "friendships" between males and females as "dating", and this is the reply to your question: it's because their generation is grown with gender roles being very distant to each other so they can't see points of connection between men and women, beside romantic/sexual interest, and they lived generally a poor sexual life because of taboos and social norms, so they are probably used to see any female as a sexual target and they think it's the norm for everyone else. This is very clear when some older men try with me and propose a "friendship" but actually mean something else, misusing the word, or that ask me if a friend of mine is a "boyfriend" just because I'm going to meet him (hahaha, if I had to imagine all of my friends as potential partners or sexual buddies...). Still, even in a context of old people who misuse the term "friendship" and don't believe males and females can be just friends, there is a leap between this convinction and "judging". Some can just think you have lot of potential partners but simply never commit to them or that you have a high sexual appetite but this doesn't necessarily mean they're judging you "negatively" for that. Of course old people tend to be also ultraconservative regarding gender roles (and so, female repression) so it's -likely- they might judge you in their heads, but not mandatory. And still the benefit of the doubt can give you some tolerance, with them.
Worth mentioning also poorer cultures who can't even conceive a woman -talks- confidentially with a man without romance involved (and so, she would be strongly judged for having male friends if she even manages to have genuine ones), and situations of a strongly possessive/jealous boyfriend who sees risks anywhere because he doesn't trust you at the foundation (and this is the actual problem, not your male friends).
In conclusion: I wouldn't be concerned and I tend to think that even in the US the judgement is lower than what you think (at least about younger generations). Maybe you were judged once or twice and this makes you expect that most of people would do the same, in their heads.
@rcljr Absolutely never, neither left any of them "because crushing on another". And in case I will crush on someone else, before cheating I would -anyway- break with the boyfriend first of all because I'm not such a loser and I can take basic responsibilities...
Also I was talking about male "friends", not "friends with benefits"...
My ex relationships ended because of issues between us and no jealousy involved. I am good alone anyway so it wasn't such a loss for me, and anyway before opening to others I always waited some long time. None of my exes was one of my male friends, no... All of my exes were guys I met, shortly had hookups/sex and long conversations, then became together. I can't really imagine my friends as potential partners and mind that we even go to each other's house alone or go eating in restaurant, go around with car, I mean, we do activities but it's all like when you talk to your relatives and there is a border which shall not be crossed regarding physical/affective things. Some of them also have a girlfriend but it's ok for them, none of them ever complained as far as I know, because I think they can clearly see my friendship is quite "male-styled", with them.
(This is mutual anyway, I never kept someone hanging around me with obvious signals of attraction, without rejecting them already if I didn't want them).
It’s normal to have friends of both sexes, and unless you like live in an Islamic or gender segregated country it shouldn’t be an issue. Anyone who is judging you for having male friends has serious issues and is incapable of having platonic relationships with the opposite sex. It’s a super heteronormative and stupid belief that assumes the worst of you. That it’s automatically a sexy friendship...
And even if things do turn out to be sexy friendship It’s ok , some people have sex with their friends. And this happens with people who aren’t straight too. Your friendships and wether you fuck your friends or not is none of their damn business , and you should avoid those people at all costs.
Because we're sexual beings and many times aren't even fully aware of how much of our actions are driven by sex or interactions that are sexual I nature. You probably don't keep a lot of guys around to potentially have sex some day
What is very very very common tho are girls keeping around guys for the self-esteem boost, because they know that they could have that guy if they wanted to, but he's safe and not going to try anything. So it's like she has a dick in a box. She can get the good emotions of being wanted without having to do anything
Girls wanting to be considered attractive is an innate primal drive. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that. With full sincerity. The vast majority of men and women that call eachother friends are not actually friends.
The highest chance of a guy and girl being genuine friends is when neither one finds the other attractive, but you guys get along so well from a personality standpoint. That's a straight up genuine friendship because you wouldn't fuck them
If you can honestly say that any one of your guy friends individually would not f*** you if you call them up to ask for one night of no-strings-attached sex, then that guy is just a genuine friend
If you can't say that about any or most of your guy friends then sorry. There's some element of sexual interest in your group. It's just a matter of circumstances that allow for something to happen. Or disallow it.
If you can honestly say that you have never considered and would never consider dating any of your guy friends, and at the same time what I said before about calling them up for sex that none of them would say yes. Then okay you're just friends
Opinion
53Opinion
Next to the fact I actually made a detailed Take about this: Why it’s almost impossible for men and women to be “just friends”
It so happens that there are a lot of girls who happen to have male friends do so out of their own selfish reasons. Many of them KNOW their guy friends want to fuck them, but because they themselves don't have the same desire, they still enjoy the free attention and validation from the so-called "male friends". It is also quite known that these girls use these male "friends" as a fallback plan whenever the guy they ARE into doens't come around. Should I even begin to mention that some of them even get jealous or mad when their guy friends gets in a relationship? So in the end, it is an indication of possible insecurity and constant need for male validation.
Because this is so common, girls are being judged or at the very least are questioned whether they are that type of girl or not.
I love how certain comments judge people who see cross-sex friendships and potential red flags when in all seriousness time has proven again and again that such friendships are often "risky" and non-platonic. So they resort to shaming tactics to those who oppose this because of their major cognitive dissonance.
Many people that end up cheating had opposite gender "friends." Whenever the relationship has disagreements, that is who they go to and get comforted by so they often develop feelings. Then they cheat. Or the friend develops feelings and gives them advice and comments to sabotage the relationship over time.
I think there should be two rules in that situation.
1. No discussing their relationship disagreements with their opposite gender friends.
2. No NEW opposite gender friends once in a relationship.
Well, I think you think the relationship among you and your male friends is platonic, but based on science, it’s most likely not platonic from their point of view. I think women are judged for having male friends, because it is clear that men and women cannot just be friends, specifically, men cannot. Studies show that women can be just friends with men, but not the other way around usually. Women are judged because people feel as if men and women cannot be just friends, which they are correct, so when a woman has a lot of opposite sex heterosexual friends then many think she’s looking for too much attention, sex, etc.
Call them and ask them to come over and bang you. If they say yes they’re not actually your friend. If they ask you what’s wrong maybe you’re fine. Do this experiment. Otherwise the just friends rhetoric comes off as self serving.
That is, self serving if you have any interest in a serious committed long term relationships. If you just want to date around and have flings, fine. Do that.
But if you want a boyfriend, it’s just totally annoying for guys to deal with all these male friends hanging around when you insist on dragging them in to your relationship with him. It’s just poor form that will nearly guarantee disaster for your relationship. No amount of Shame, insult, guilt tripping will change it. Don’t trust me, go out and try it. See what happens.
Because nobody can mind their own business and usually this stems from jealousy. I wouldn’t let it bother you because whoever is tripping like that isn’t your friends and if it’s family like you’re mom or sister then they’re more likely to just be worried about you as misguided as it might be you just gotta look past their shit unless they’re doing it out of jealousy. If that’s the case you might want to have a sit down with them any non family passing judgement just ignore them because they don’t matter anywsys
Honestly it’s mostly do to jealousy and the fact that men know each other a lot better than women do. Most guys simply don’t want their girl stolen out from under them. It’s kinda like with wolves and how they are protect their pack. I am not saying your a object, what I am saying is that some men out their are wolves in sheep’s clothing and some people may not be able to spot them as easily as others can due to experience. Men will worry about other men because men know what other men want and they want sex. Some by any means needed. In short it’s fear and jealousy that causes men to act this way and maybe lack of faith in your judgement but even you can agree that their are men/women who are capable of doing incredible things with words alone.
I know what you mean and girls and guys should not be judged cause they have a lot of friends of the opposite sex it just makes no sense, everyone has their mind in the gutter and thinks wow she is meeting her friend Peter tonight wow I bet she's getting laid well that's not the case and people need to mind their own business and stop
judging people
As irritating as it can be, focus on the friendships. Some people will either jot understand or even think it possible. That's how it is.
I would shrug it off and go: "whaddya gonna do?"
Pretty much, dismiss what they say.
Either guys have massive insecurities (thinking that every guy your friends with or hang out with will get inside your pants) or girls that judge for this either are extremely easy themselves (so they picture you being the same) or they are probably jealous cuz they like one of the guys. in my opinion.
It's tricky because without knowing the guy friends beforehand, the guy the woman is dating might think one of her friends could secretly like her. The male friend will already know a lot more about her too. The guy friends might be protective of her towards a guy she's dating.
As for the concerns you mentioned sex wise, some guys wouldn't even bother with a woman knowing that, well I wouldn't. To assume that at 1st is going far lol.
I have it the other way, the vast majority of my friends are girls.
for some reason guys assume if you have girls as friends you want sex with them, which is really immature and points to lack of experience.
It depends what world you live in because in some groups, it shouldn’t matter if you have guy friends. Though if you’re mainstream and watch tv and movies etc etc all that pushes sex hookups. There are no morals being pushed. And it seems like the answer for everything nowadays is sex. People have been brainwashed to think a certain way. I would steer clear from those kind of people.
I remember when I was in my early twenties I hopped on Facebook and tried to message girls I knew from high school to hang out as friends and such. They pretty much all said oh my boyfriend wouldn't be happy if he found out I was hanging out with a guy. I always said oh that's okay no problem. Instead I should have said something like sounds a little possessive or sounds like quite the healthy relationship you guys have there.
Dare I say it?
Men think women are having pillow fights in our panties when they're not around too. Sex is just the denominator in pretty much everything that goes through their imagination.
Because some people can't handle you having friends of the opposite gender. People always like to assume things and jump to conclusions
exactly. i can't count how many times i get told im a simp for sticking up for women or having women friends smh
@Still-alive Yeah I know. I don't know what's wrong with people. But it's not just about standing up for women but standing up for people in general
Everything revolves around sex because most men in America are extremely sexually repressed. Nothing wrong with having solid friendships in your life, and tbh if people are judgmental it's probably cause they are lonely and jealous. At the same time it's important for you to acknowledge that many of your male friends are probably attracted to in sexual way and are trying to get closer to you, with the hope that they can one day smash... That's just reality buttercup.
It’s a trust thing, and there’s no guy alive that doesn’t get jealous or even angry if his girlfriend has mail friends. Reason being is the only difference between a “ friend” and a fuckbuddy are a couple of drinks.
@rcljr. "The only difference between a friend and a fuck buddy ks a few drinks"... that is spit on correct and puts a fine point on the issue. I hope you don't mind if I use this in the future.
@KrakenAttackin , have at it my friend.
@rcljr Thank you sir, I know wisdom when I see it.
Because we all know that the guys want more they’re putting up a fake front
Men typically don't make friends with women unless he is attracted to her and thinks he may have a chance.
You think all the "male friends" would think that? How many of them do you think would bone you given the opportunity? You think any of them would turn that down because you're a great person and a "friend"
I love how girls act so " clueless " about their guy friends.. So innocent and believable
Maybe because it is true that lots of guys don't involve sex when it comes to friendship. I love how guys who can't speak for themselves act so "clueless" about that situation.
@Aiko_E_Lara you're so angry you couldn't even put it together well lol
oh lol let's just resort to that "you're so angry" when anyone just gives a counter argument. And what about you? Like really calling someone angry while angrily doing it. What a hypocrite
So I'm angry for giving a response but you're not angry for disagreeing with guys who say they're friends can be with women. If you're not angry, why such hypocrisy?
@Aiko_E_Lara hey man you took it too personal like i was talking about you and then started talking about me and how I can't speak for myself and stuff, if I was angry i would do the same... and when did I say all guys can't be just friends? It's clear I'm talking about the overwhelming majority and not every single guy on the planet.. Kinda like, you know... Everything else?
Actually no. I'm just giving a response like the opinion you gave. It's more like you're talking a reply so personally by just calling someone angry if they do without even considering yourself one. It doesn't even matter if you're speaking for yourself or not because I might also be doing the same thing. So when did I even tell you to speak for yourself?
If you're talking about the majority, here's a fact. You've never met most guys in the world. Just saying. No need to take this personally.
Because men who how other men think. We know exactly why they're hanging around the girl.
Some ladies may be intimidated by me hanging around with a group, of single, ladies. I wouldn't blame me being judged in that role reversal.
Because most people think men and women can't be "just friends".
Best way to deal with this is to text the male friend and ask if he wants to fuck. That will answer the question.
"I have many male friends"
https://imgur.com/gallery/ZYtKNfv
@rcljr Very well done! Just imagine how mentally drained you'll be when dating such a person... One thing she did well and that is showing her true face early on. You dodged a bullet
@TruthBringer , yes indeed, forewarned is forearmed.
People do think it is a safe sex or friend with benefits. But it is when a third party gets involved that either you or him is sexually attracted too. Them you are third wheel or he may feel why him not me
Fuck, this has been hashed over soooooo many times on GAG lately.
Quit a "coincidence" after I made a Take about it LMFAO
@TruthBringer Agreed!
@TruthBringer LOL
I swear it seems like I hit a nerve with the G@G snowflakes. One of them even decided to make his own Take out of anger of being blocked because he was pulling a bunch of red herrings and other logical fallacies such as strawmen on my Take. And now we have this. Just watch the next one come up soon 😂
Same reasons guys are judged for having female friends.
I can say because I was one.
Because girls with male friends suck too much D. I remember my next door neighbor light skin black girl who had a lot of guy friends and I used to hear her at night moan. 😂
Its sad but who cares what they think just live your life with your friends and who ever don't like it too bad tell them to kiss your ass and keep it pushing
It’s really because Guy’s are out there that wanna get in girls pants then the habit of saying your guy friend is really your x and u still do things with him and it shows right away with the way your voice changes sorry 😰🤭😥
Because humans are a judgmental lot, and will always see what isn't there.
Something is having friends, another thing is to have a very good friend. The latter is less likely between men ane women's.
All too often women do use guys, which is why so many assume that with you. At lot of women like that attention and use their male friends for it.
My best friend is female, we were once romantically involved because we were dating before deciding to become just friends. It going extreme well we are bros!
You can thank all the women and their friends with benefits for that
doesn't matter what you think you’re keeping them around for, if they’re single then sex and relationships are on the table. That’s the issue, not whether or. Or you’re interest in it.
people always judging , nothing can be done to change that
many people judge men who have many female friends are players
I do not know, but happens to guys with girl friends too lol. People just love to flock like sheep's hating on silly things.
It is the caveman brain in both sexes.
And everything does evolved around sex in a man's brain for most of their life..
I used to get called a hoe, a lesbian, or a “bro” for having guy friends more than females. People truly were assholes lol
People are just weird. I think it’s okay for a girl to have male friends, whether or not she is in a relationship.
People judge cause (not always but most of the time) girls hang around guys for the attention, and men hang around girls (again not always but most of the time) cause they want to smash.
I don't believe in friendship between men and women. Maybe just texting but not real friendship.
Only idiots assume that. That tells more about them than it does about you.
There it is. The downvoting degenerates thinking women are sex toys.
Biologically men and women are meant to fuck, not hang out!
same as you folks judge a guy for having female friends
Because of men is always going to want to jump in your pants no matter the friendship
I think it's important for friends of any gender in my opinion.
Maybe it's because they are or can't be trusted with one male friend
That's complete stupidity, everyone should have friends from both genders.
women are bigger whores then men
they cheat more then men
and are less trust worthy
SO YES its a big deal
I've never known anyone who judges women for that
Because immature highschool menality bullshite.
I've never heard of that happening.
Because the think they are ficking each other
It can often mean they love the penis
They're not! Those who are do are narrow minded
Are you a Keys Cow?
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