Would you date someone without having sex?

Question

Alyssa11 · Accepted Answer

For me, sex is a really big part of a relationship. Bad sex is a deal breaker. I won’t be able to feel that I’m connected to my partner on a deeper level if i don’t have sex with them. I also express my love for someone through sex, I’m a very sexual person naturally.

Having said that, I’m not the type of woman to have sex straight away with a guy i just started dating. Establishing a platonic relationship first is really important to me. The sex won’t be great if the emotional connection isn’t established first anyway. I can’t imagine letting go and being so
vulnerable around a guy who won’t even text me back the next day...

I’ve been through relationships without sex a few times. And I’ll tell you this - it is really fucking hard!!! I don’t know how long I can last for and my main love language is touching. When Mr Right comes along I’m gonna have to figure out how long i can truly wait.

With my ex, I wasn’t able to wait at all because i was madly in love and the platonic relationship was established. Though being long distance amidst a pandemic helped lol. With my ex before that, i waited lasted for over a year. And the ex before that I could barely last for two months... it all depends...

Ammi_goldie806 · Accepted Answer

Yes I absolutely would. A relationship is not all about having sex with them is as he trying to get to know the person and see if you guys vibe well together then asexual relationship. I feel like if people stop thinking about sex all the time and start thinking about who they actually are dating they'll stop being a lot of cheating and a lot of backstabbing in a relationship. When you stop thinking about sex all the time you start actually thinking about the person and you actually have fun with that person, and you're only focus should not be about sex or anything sexual it should be about you and the person dating each other and trying to actually figure out are you guys even meant to be together. People who are mature would know that sex isn't always the top priority in a relationship is mostly about communication and loyalty, also how great you guys are together.

Twinrova · Accepted Answer

Yes, and here is the logical argument for it:

because unlinke the people who say "no" to this question, I date for love. What does everyone agree love entails? A willingness to sacrifice. You can also measure one's love for another person by the amount they are willing to sacrifice for them. Think about movies where a mother dies to save her child, or where a husband dies for his wife. When we see these aforementioned scenes, we think of them as grand displays of love, because the person dying is making a grand sacrifice. This is to establish the point that if you love someone a lot (most people express this sentiment about their s. o), then you will be willing to sacrifice a lot on their behalf. If you are willing to make such sacrifices, then you will be willing to sacrifice sex on their behalf.

And so if you agree with the premise that: 1) to love a lot is to be open to sacrificing a lot, and; 2) that you love you s. o a lot, then you must conclude that you would be willing to sacrifice sex until marriage for the aforementioned s. o.

MasseurDeMojo · Accepted Answer

Going out with someone, and not having sex with them is not that hard. It all depends on how much you desire to be them as a whole. A person who wants to date, and get into the mind of the person, is not looking to get into their panties. A person who is more concerned about the physical, and how that person feels to them will date to get into their panties, because what is in their mind and heart is not their priority to know. They decide if they want you base on sex. The other person decides if they want you, based on what they have found out about you through conversation.

It is noted that couples who had sex after they had had many long conversations, and learned a lot about each other, and had decided we are going to be together forever, once they had sex for the first time with each other; it was mind blowing for both. Because they knew so much about each other, they knew how to make the sex great for the other. They tended to get married for life!! Note: Some of those couples waited till their wedding night!

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I would if we had an emotional connection but he would have to kiss and hug me and hold my hand and put his arm around me.

MrOracle · Answer

No. That would be a complete waste of my time.

There are 5 or 6 essential things I need in a romantic partner, and sex is one of those things, but if ANY of them are missing, then the relationship isn't going to work.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Are you asking would I date someone who wanted to save sex for after marriage?

Kaneki05 · Answer

Yep. sex is great and all. But if that's bases of why you cannot love and be with someone. To me that person don't actually understand love.
It's funny how a horror game taught me this but it did. A good example why love is more important than sex, If the one you love becomes ill she's dying she cannot have sex, she cannot look after herself. Are you gonna leave her? Because sex is needed to love that person?
Or you gonna do what love is actually about and take care of her.
Respect to Silent Hill 2 for making me realize this as a kid quicker than most and other's who may never learn. That love dominates selfish needs.

jasmine_0603 · Answer

It depends... If you mean waiting till marriage, then probably no because marriage is just a paper to me and it's the feeling that matters. If they gave me a really good (non-religious) reason, then I could agree. However, if you mean never doing it then the answer is hell no.
I think it's important to get to know the person really well before having sex - love and commitment need to be there first, so waiting for quite a long time is not a problem. The marriage doesn't change anything for me though - being in a loving committed relationship for 30 years vs being happily married for 30 years is pretty much the same in the end.

KneeDragger · Answer

There is a couple I am friends with and they are like me, a conservative Catholic. They met and dated in college, but they never slept together. In fact they didn't hold hands of even kiss. They kept the physical side of the relationship to zero, yet they got to know each other really well while they finished school. After graduating they got married and the husband works while she stays home and raises their kids. They currently have nine kids with one on the way and they are a very happy couple when I first asked each of them.

That is something I wish I could have done, but history doesn't allow me to go back and erase mistakes. However I am blessed to be married to a great woman who converted to the Catholic faith.

Bright_blue_eyes · Answer

I’m surprised & disappointed to read some of the girls answers to this. I get that some girls fear sex, but to say they could date someone long term without sex, I would suggest that view is a bit naïve. Yes.. I would date someone without having sex for a short period of time, but not long term. If you think about it realistically, the natural progression of a relationship leads to physical intimacy. Maybe not right away, but at some point. It wouldn’t be dating at that point, it would only be platonic friends. I believe that works for women, but it doesn’t work for most guys. We’re not wired that way. Don't be naïve. Despite what the pop-culture fools want us to believe, men and women are different, and we experience the world differently. Not go or bad, just different.

HiveBee · Answer

That's silly. Why would my girlfriend not want sex? Impossible.

she's the horny one! y'all females are horny as fuck I dont know why you always asking this question. So many girls ask this question.

It's not that you dont want sex. I think girls are upset that men want sex, and wouldn't want you if you didn't want it. Even though you clearly do.

What asilly strange way to be. This insanely horny female yet upset that men want sex in arelationship. As if love doesn't exist if a man won't stay with you without sex. You must be defining that as not love.

Well I say you're wrong if that's the case.

And women are just the same. Would you stay with a guy if he's a broke bum? Hell naw. I guess women dont feel love than. Because y'all want men to have all these qualities or else they can't date you. What if you fall in love?

Am I right? Or nah?

Paolaa988 · Answer

I couldn’t do that. I mean sex is an important aspect in a relationship and romantically to see if you got that chemistry and passion. Intimacy is important to me as I’m a sexual girl, it’s not everything to me but very important and I refuse to marry a guy let alone get engaged unless we’ve had sex and know we’re both compatible in bed.

Azura_88 · Answer

OFCOURSE. That's the reason we should date or be in a relationship in the first place.
Sex is for the one who will be forever with you.
I just find the idea of people licking, sucking, drinking from or inserting each other's private parts gross, sinfully greedy, disrespectful and very disgusting.
Ironically my sex drive is only high for the one I want but the idea of having sex with others makes me feel YUCKKKK.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

I would for an upfront agreed time if that makes sense.

I could probably keep it in my pants for 6 months, so I know the person is serious, but I don't think I could date that way without having that upfront conversation - I'd be wondering why he's not attracted to me and not going for it 🤔

sixxx · Answer

Surely this will only work if the woman is not really attractive physically or not beautiful. Suppose she is not good looking and doesn't look attractive but somehow when I talk to her, I feel convenient and comfortable then I might consider her become a close friend relationship without any romance or sex to her.

If the woman herself is too hot or attractive and so beautiful, it's almost impossible for a man to have a relationship without romance or sex.
Unless the man is gay there's no way a man could date a girl without sex.

Eventually after dating several times , you will most likely do it. Or some of them wait till marriage for their first night, that's also fine. But in the end it's inevitable to have sex in a relationship with a girl.

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

That's a hard one, pun intended.

I'm a virgin and whilst I don't consider myself to be desperate for sex, the fact is, if I were in a relationship with someone, assuming I were living with them, I think sex would more than likely happen at some point.

If I really liked the person though and thought they were the one for me, then I think I would, assuming I were allowed to take care of myself sexually, if required.

msbrightness · Answer

I agree sex is overrated as the most important aspect of a relationship.
I'd much rather be with someone I enjoy spending time with, talking, cuddling, sharing goals and views and things we both enjoy and have an average sex drive/experience - than have great wild sex with someone I don't get along with on an ordinary daily-functioning level.

loveslongnails · Answer

No, and NO !!
I already have platonic relationships - they're called friends! LOL
The whole point of dating someone and getting close to another person IS to be intimate and surpass what I have in my friendships, hopefully mentally and emotionally, but definitely physically. I won't even date a woman if she tells me that sex is a really low priority. It doesn't have to be a top one, but it can't be a bottom one, for sure.

Pasiton5 · Answer

Yes, I enjoy love sex but taking a woman out in a date didn't mean she's obligated to engage in sex with you and as a man should not even expect to women are under enough pressures don't need to feel like just because this dude is paying for the date and talking all nice sweet she had to perform, that's immature shows always respect the wishes of a woman we are supposed to have self control use it

Prezzi3 · Answer

I could go a couple of months (5 months) without sex, but anything longer than that I would not be able to do. Sex is one of the ways to get close to your partner, so not having sex at all would be detrimental to my relationship.

InventorofWarp · Answer

Yep. Done it.
24-year-old virgin still waiting for the right girl.
My pants aren't easy to get into. I carefully guard my innocence and I'm not about to just into bed with someone. I want something real with someone who actually loves and cares and about me and respects me. Someone I can care for. It's not easy to find though. And sometimes I fear I may never find it.
But, we'll see.

jmr2191 · Answer

I would say no. Sex is one of the major differences that sprites those that are dating or in a relationship from really good friends. However, that's not to say it has to be immediate. My current girlfriend was a Virgin and a bit nervous about her first time, so she took gradual baby steps, which did take awhile, but we got there. If there was no evidence we were moving in that direction at all, it might be turned out differently.

jaybee281 · Answer

I would if these are her values - As in she's keeping it for marriage - Then not only I wouldn't mind I'd actually take her more seriously - But if she's been around done this with x and x dude - Then she's a hypocrite - And arguably a whore - No sex no relationship in this case - it all goes back to who she is as a person

nawtee_me · Answer

If she is a virgin and wants to wait until she is married I have no problem being in a relationship with her with having sex. However if she just wants to be in a committed relationship and not have sex even though she has had it before then nope, can't do it...

Miristheiss · Answer

Sure and... no way.
If you mean would I have waited... she wanted to wait until marriage... she wants to wait until we've been going out a long time and are committed... sure.

If you mean she doesn't like sex or doesn't want to have sex... ever... of course not.
No way.

Dragonpurple · Answer

I did for years, on several occasions... dating in general was not meant for sex to me, it was meant to get to know them to decide if one day we could be married, have sex, start a family and all that.

There are lots of people out there that are waiting until they get married.

kyleelyn199723 · Answer

Me personally no. I think intimacy and sexual relationships are important. Most people have sexual desires and yours needs to match your partners otherwise it isn’t going to work

Anonymous · Answer

Considering one of the main reasons I want to enter a relation is for sex, probably not. I did talk to ONE asexual girl I would have dated. She was like the only acceptation, but I also know if I dated her, it would be frustrating because I'd eventually want good sex.

Floppy2112 · Answer

It's going to have to be a virgin and there has to be a commitment. I think at your age, you should wait until marriage. It's an opportunity most women don't have anymore. And there are always risks with sex.
The good news is people who wait, tend to get and keep their men sooner and for longer. The engagements are short and the marriages are long. If you have a mind to, wait. I think a lot of women who are older probably wish they waited longer for their first sexual experience.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

If there was a good reason not to, that we'd discussed. Me n OH have only had sex once in 7 months. She's pregnant and we've had doctors orders not to. So not having sex in a relationship is possible if for the right reason. I'd expect it to return to normal a few months after giving Borth.
I like sex, I think it's important. If someone was against sex then it would be difficult to be with them

Dontaaa · Answer

No, tbh.

If I'm going to date someone them I expect them to be sexually attracted to me, and with that I also expect sex at some point.

I don't care that if we don't have sex right away, but like if we don't have sex at all then we might as well stay as friends.

I bet that sounds bad to some of you mOrAliStIc sounding gagers, but hey, I'm just being honest.

HugoThe2nd · Answer

No, I wouldn't.
I don't see the point of such a relationship.

If I'm allowed to have sex with other people, then I would maybe consider it.
But to pay the price of commitment towards someone for nothing in return, that's just not something I can emphasize with.

exitseven · Answer

Yes, and I have. Sometimes when you really love somebody sex is not the most important thing anymore.

Anonymous · Answer

I think I would have a sexless relationship before marriage if I decided that he was worth it. To me, I value an intellectual connection more than a sexual connection. However, I would still want to be physical and do other things assuming only penetrative sex was the only type of sex not desired. However as for after marriage absolutely not. I have needs that must be met. I can wait for a little bit if it's his religion or beliefs or something but after marriage, I would not.

iseekpinetrees · Answer

Hell no. That's called a friendship. And they can absolutely STAY MY FRIEND as i go fuck my partner.

Twilight_Angel · Answer

I definitely would! As long as he can hold me, kiss me and show me affection then I'm happy 🙊🙊

Libbers · Answer

I think eventually you need it. It’s like the natural next step. It’s pretty much expected anymore. Isn’t it.

SweetTay · Answer

I have before we dated for a few months. But honestly it just was so boring he even refused oral so things just didn't work out

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

I did for the longest time.. every relationship ended cause I didn't want sex... I was waiting until marriage but unfortunately I didn't get there yet..

Daniela1982 · Answer

To me it's preferable. I'm not one to hop into bed on a date. I would prefer to see if it's going anywhere before I'd even consider it.

rachel776 · Answer

not for a very long time but for a few weeks or months maybe

dtweed1996 · Answer

Depends who if it is a real date then I expect that at night when our date goes inside for the night while if it is a pity date then it is just a date high, bye, and maybe we could talk later I did this before with two different girls a cute native American girl and a messed up Italian girl

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

Of course I would. You both can still get off without having sex. Mutual masturbation, oral, 69. It’s mostly all in the head, especially having Chemistry. You can get off from just dry humping.

But yeah I could if she kept me active in other ways. Go hiking, swimming, biking, travel, scuba diving, etc

MissRomantic · Answer

Yes, sex is not needed until marriage for me. No point in having sex if there’s no solid commitment from your partner.

Quaintrelle · Answer

I would prefer knowing the person as they are for couple of months or years before indulging in sexual aspect.

Screenwriter · Answer

Well, unless you're asexual or some such variation, I would think no sex at all would be the end of the affair.

Laciandmaci · Answer

yes of course I would I am the "I wait until marriage type" So of course I could.

NathanDavis · Answer

I did go into a relationship with this terms and idea, yes. But then she changed her mind and feelings about it, over time... but technically, yes I did.

MrCommodore · Answer

Yeah if I met the woman of my dreams, and she didn't want to have sex until marriage, I would give it ago. It would be a fast engagement 😃

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

I guess i can handle that. The emotional bond along with intimacy and kinky stuff that doesn't necessarily have twin home sex is kinda enough for me to stay with her. Also i can always fap at her. The funny thing is so many girls hates the fact that sex is a "must" for guys judging by the downvotes here yet so many of them also care about dick sizes so much.

razelove · Answer

If she was paying for every date, and took me wife out as well, sure. Though that would be hanging out with a friend, and not a romantic relationship. If we ever did have sex, then it could have the possibility of romance, without it, nope.

fonduegirl · Answer

"Alan, if you don't want to have sex with her just tell her! There's no need to marry her"

Minahh · Answer

Yes I would. Penetrative sex is overrated af. I couldn't be without intimacy and some type of bonding like cuddles tho.

Iamcoming · Answer

Yes already this is not true a thing before married

just_a_potato · Answer

Funny enough I'm not planning to have sex in a serious relationship. Unless they are living with me or they propose to me they shouldn't expect sex from me. If they leave then they don't love me ig lmao.

kitty71 · Answer

Go out, be with someone in a relationship instead of dating that is what I was looking for with a guy I was attracted to but for my bad luck and unfrotunately it never hapened

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, sex is a needed release but can always be done solo if my partner didn't have interest ill support their choice.

Anonymous · Answer

never ever never? not even after a few years of dating them in a serious relationship? no... i like feeling close to my partner, and that is one way to do so.

Nikola321 · Answer

Tbh yes, I would. Because I don't really care about sex :D

JDavid25 · Answer

Without sex ever? Probably not.. Without sex at all for a temporary period of time? Absolutely.. Especially if I really liked her and her company..

Asmir1999 · Answer

I would not be in a relationship with someone without having sex. I could tolerate an inexperienced partner but, no sex at all? That has to be a no for me.
To me, a relationship consists of Intimacy, Boundaries, communication, and respect. If one of those is lacking then it ain't it.

JackieofWhite · Answer

Sex happens after marriage so yes i could date without haveing sex. But, would i want to would be the question?

MyNameJames · Answer

Personally I'm somewhere between asexual and demisexual so my priorities aren't sexual and I've already gone 20 years I think I could probably stick around without sex so long as we're happy in the other departments

Would you date someone without having sex?

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Could you date someone without having sex?

Would you date someone without having sex?

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Could you date someone without having sex?

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