Friend is telling me to sleep around?

[Anonymous]

she says I need to go on a bunch of dates and sleep around to rush and find a partner. I’m not in a rush to settle.

Updates

+1 y

This is actually my older sister who told me this, but I was embarrassed to say it here.

[Miristheiss]

That is horrible advice.

You know in your heart this isn't "good" and a healthy thing for your future.
Make good decisions.

Have a plan and long term outlook and goal for your life. Learn, study, grow in knowledge and wisdom, learn a skill... something you are good at that will put you in need in this world... you'll be sought out because you are skilled and knowledgeable in this talent/skill/trade... whatever it is.

Set your relationship/family goals and set out to make them happen. If you want a long term partner, a marriage, children and a family... set out to finding men that have your same values and goals... people who want to find someone of similar interests and values, whose company they enjoy and follow that path.

Drunken, sexual intercourse with relative strangers who you don't know at all... that will leave you feeling hollow and used... possibly left with diseases... possibly pregnant with a child you weren't planning for... possibly being a single mom and maybe bound for life with this guy you don't really care about or even like much.

Be wise. This person doesn't sound like much of a friend. She isn't telling you what is really good for you... good for you for 5 years, 15 years... all of life, it sounds like she just wants you to be like she is so she'll have some company in the lifestyle she has chosen.

[Asker]

Thank you so much 😊

[Asker]

This is actually my older sister Who told me this, but I was embarrassed to say that here.

[TommyMountainFigure]

What possible reason could your sister have for getting you to sleep around? The smart thing to do in your position is ask her WHY? What does she get out of you sleeping around with lots of different partners getting sexually transmitted diseases?
M advice is go at your own pace, and do what you want with whoever you want. Don't be swayed by ANYONE

[Asker]

She doesn’t like me. And she has a history of sleeping around. I remember as a child seeing her hurt and going to get multiple abortions. I guess she could be jealous I didn’t have to go through those things.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I suppose the old saying "You can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family" really does apply here.

[AmandaYVR]

Noooooo. What kind of advice is that?
Does your friend do this, and she wants a friend along with her (same behaviour, not same time) to normalize and justify her behaviour and life choices? I bet that's what it's about.
Or she is getting a great thrill out of being desired/having sex with so many different guys. (Maybe she's a thrill-seeker, or she's quite insecure underneath her bravado.)
She has probably yet to figure out that you are not more desirable, the more people you sleep with. Many guys will sleep with whomever says yes to them, or shows any interest. It's not such a high bar.
Don't rush, don't settle. You do you.

[Asker]

Thank you 🙏

[Cynicaldreamer]

Your "friend" is an idiot. What kind of friend encourages you to sleep around with random guys and risk getting STDs or pregnant? Wow.

It's fine to date different guys you like, and get to know and meet new people.

It's NOT okay to sleep around just for the sake of doing so. That's how you get hurt... and a bad reputation.

[Asker]

She says I can go on a bunch of dates and not have sex. And I told her some guys can get aggressive about being turned down and I can find myself in a bad situation

[Cynicaldreamer]

Well she's right to an extent. You can go out and not have sex with a guy. You are NOT obligated to sleep with a guy just because he took you out: EVER!
If you feel uncomfortable or he's going to pressure you into sex, let him know you're not ready. Better still, always take your own transportation on a date or go out with friends to be safe. Have your friend send you a text, or call you at a certain time during the date as a "I'm okay" or to come get you if you think he's trying something you're not ready for.
And never go back to a guy's place alone... EVER. Especially on a date. Nor should you take him to your place.

Because I get it, some guys can be aggressive if they think you "owe" them sex. But that is still no reason to sleep with them- always remember that.

[kyleelyn199723]

Your friend is an idiot. Tell her get get for STDs if she is influencing her lifestyle on you, and I’m being serious. STDs are more common than you think.

[kyleelyn199723]

Tell her to get tested*

[Asker]

She says I can go on a bunch of dates and don’t have to have sex. I told her that some men are aggressive and become angry if you aren’t willing to have sex. I think I would expose myself to a lot of dangerous situations if I do that

[kyleelyn199723]

What you need to do is feel out someone’s vibe and then further decide if they are worth going on a date with.

[Asker]

Yes thank you

[kyleelyn199723]

Not every guy deserves your time 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 and you are 100% right. Giving many different men chances puts you in a situation where you can run into a guy that doesn’t have your best interest/ won’t keep you safe.

[Asker]

Thank you for the good advice ❤️ Sometimes people around me make me feel out casted because I haven’t found a partner yet.

[Nobodyherebutme]

Yeah what a fucking great plan that is. Just sleep with the whole town until you find someone you want to stick with. I can't stop laughing. I trust you'll find someone else to take dating advice from.

[Asker]

She says just because you go on dates doesn’t mean you have to have sex. And I told her but some men can be very aggressive and become angry if you are out with the wrong person who just wants sex

[Nobodyherebutme]

Serial dating isn't a great idea either because like you said you're gonna run into your fair share of creeps. Be selective and just go on a few dates with people you have good instincts about.

[Asker]

Yes thank you 😊

[Wise4myage]

Nonsense, follow your own path and never rushed into anything. Dating is fine, because it will help you decide what you want, but that doesn't mean you have to sleep with a lot of guys.

[Asker]

Thank you

[Wise4myage]

You’re welcome u

[Anonymous]

Idiot friend 🤪

[Asker]

I just found out that she has been saying bad things behind my back. I don’t think she likes me.

[RealMarek]

You don’t need to sleep around to find a partner. When you want to find a partner, start dating and you can find a man who is interested in you enough to date you without having sex for awhile.

[ItsTheNephilim]

If your friend (s) keep on insisting you to do stuff that you don't wanna do, it's time to get new friends or at least ditch the current ones.

[Leavesbound]

Do what is right for you and only you know what that is. Friends mean well but are often wrong.

[Tstrbrainer]

You need to follow your intuitions.
Following her intuitions might not do good for you

[Tstrbrainer]

It's alright. Still you should follow what works for you.

You might not share the same interest and traits as your sister

[zagor]

Sleeping around is not settling. Not being in a rush to settle would seem more a reason to sleep around.

[abc3643]

Your EX-friend is an idiot.
Get better friends.

[Anonymous]

Sleeping around is not how you find long term happiness

[Princess__Serene]

If it's not something you want to do, you need to get better friends.

[kkirk4442]

She is giving you bad advice.

[Shredder666]

Your friend is a hoe.

[Serenityy]

And that's how you catch an STD or Corona!

[jahaims]

That isn't a question

[SpaceGalaxy]

Once a whore, Always a whore!

[JesseJayNeak]

Sleeping around is not a good idea