Does she want to be more than friends?

[Anonymous]

Hi,

So, I have a collegue at work that I am in love with (She is 21, I am 24). I think about her constantly. But I don't know if she feels the same. Let me explain why I am so confused:

Why I think she likes me:
- For a couple of months we have become very close, learning a lot about each other. At the office we drink coffee and talk together (just the two of us) several times a day, and we both enjoy it.
- We have a lot in common, and she think's I am funny
- We have gone for long walks in spare time, talking, eating ice cream and so on.
- We have a lot of eye contact at office, and I think I can see something in her eyes.
- Last Friday I was out celebrating my friend. She came by and said hello and I followed her home afterwards (I have followed her home couple of times). The day after she asked if I wanted to go for a walk, which we did. And we have agreed to do it again.

Why I am not sure:
- Generally, she is a very popular person with a lot of friends and she is nice to everybody. She also likes to socialize and meet new people, so maybe she just wants to be friends. Maybe she stopped by last Friday to meet some new people and not me (although my friends said they could see in her eyes she likes me).
- Sometimes she replies very slowly on social media (it could take 24 hours) and other times starts the conversation herself. On social media she feels like another person.
- I know that she has been on a date lately, and I feel like she wanted me to know. I don't know why.

I am very confused and I don't know what to do. Is she just a nice person or does she like me? We have agreed that I have to show her around in my neighborhood soon (on her initiative). I told her that I would plan a nice trip, and she replied that she would be looking forward to it.

Hope you can help me. Maybe you can see signs that I don't.

[RawrBot]

Does she want to be more than friends? Probably.
You yourself have listed reasons why. As for the list of why you're not sure:

"she is a very popular person with a lot of friends"
Yet at the office you two talk together (just the two of you) several times a day, and you both enjoy it.

"my friends said they could see in her eyes she likes me"
Well, there must be a reason why they say that. Or else they wouldn't be saying that.

"Sometimes she replies very slowly on social media (it could take 24 hours) and other times starts the conversation herself. On social media she feels like another person."
There are many reasons why someone could take a while to reply. Texting anxiety, being busy, etc.
But the fact that she starts the conversation herself is a really good sign

"I know that she has been on a date lately, and I feel like she wanted me to know. I don't know why."
Maybe she wanted to see how you'd react, perhaps to see if you'd get jealous.
Maybe she's hoping that you will take action.
Maybe she wants to know how you feel about her or see what you'd do.

Well, all of that is just my guess. But one thing I can say, I think you do have a chance. For sure. She thinks you're funny, she enjoys talking with you, and she's looking forward to the trip that she herself asked you to give her.

[RawrBot]

As a dense guy myself, I didn't realize that a girl was flirting with me until she told me she was flirting with me, even though it should have been obvious. Sometimes, we second-guess ourselves too much

[Iron_Man]

I want to ask her tomorrow how do you feel about me?

[SueShe]

That is why nature and evolution gave humans a voice.

If you are not certain whether a person is attracted to you, then you simply ask. Also, you have body language that can tell you whether the attraction is mutual. The only problem is that you have to be able to interpret this language and not be misled or to make the wrong analysis.

The problem with our society is that it does not communicate properly anymore but just with onomatopoeia, grunts or texting. People fail to talk properly because society is becoming so retrograde.

If you want to know something, just ask and you should have your reply. In your case, what prevents you from directly asking her whether she is interested in you or not? Why is it necessary to always beat around the bush rather than to go up to that person and ask?

People create problems where there are none. All you risk is a decisive "NO". That is not the end of the world.

[Asker]

I totally agree with you, but it's easier said than done (I think). When I go for walks with her, we are getting closer and closer. Should I continue with this, or do I risk we just become friends? I would like to ask her out one day, but I thought I would wait a bit..

[SueShe]

What is the worst thing that can happen if you wait too long?

She will think that you are not interested and slowly move away, perhaps finding a person that is more direct and asks her out. You have to weigh the pros and cons of being undecisive.

[jennifer_bloom]

If she went on a date with another guy than she is either a player or not serious about you. I usually spend 2 months flirting with a guy exclusively before meeting him for a date.

[Asker]

Yes, that's why I am confused. If she is dating someone, why would she show interest in me that way?

[jennifer_bloom]

I can explain that - sometimes you commit to one person and during that time you begin to realize you like somebody else more but the fact is, she was already flirting with you when she agreed to date the other guy. She sounds like a player.

[Asker]

You are probably right :(( And I don't even know if she is flirting or just being nice.

[Siren777]

Why not just ask her out and see her response? So many people waste their times on silly dating games when they can be upfront and know now whether to proceed or move on. She clearly likes you but her action shows she isn't sure you don't feel the same.

[Asker]

I really should ask her out. Could you please let me know why you think she clearly likes me?

[Siren777]

Read your description to your question. You spend lots of time with her.

[Asker]

But couldn't it just be that she wants to be friends?

[Siren777]

🤦🏻‍♀️ Love, if you don't ask her out you will never know. It's better to find out and put this to rest. You have all the reasons why you "think" oppose to why you don't. If you want to continue this friendship then say nothing and watch her move on to someone else while be supportive. I am a firm believer in taking a chance no matter the outcome. The worst , she could say no and you can move on to someone who the feeling is mutual or better yet if it's mutual then there you go be happy but don't live in a state of limbo. Good luck.

[AmeerX]

Just tell her