Should we rush into a relationship?

[Anonymous]

So I’ve been talking to this girl now for 4 months. Next month we make 5 months talking to each other. We both live in different states. We met each other online. Gonna get straight to the point. I told her about how I felt about her and everything. But she has yet to tell me about how she feels towards me. We’re still continuing to get to know more about each other still. Should I bring this up again when we make 6 months? Or should I just let this happen naturally And go with the flow? What should I do?

[Interstate]

If you told her your feelings and she hasn't reciprocated by telling you how SHE feels, she may either A. Not be ready yet, or B. Doesn't know yet. If you have only been talking for four months, a relationship at this point is WAY too fast. You should be talking and being friends for AT LEAST two years before committing to each other. But at the same time, the fact that she has yet to tell you how she feels is actually a good thing. She is taking her time and spending mounts of time getting to know you first before generating an overall profile of her feelings towards you. DON'T MENTION TO HER AGAIN OF YOUR FEELINGS. You told her how you feel, and if you mention them again, you stand a good chance of making her feel pressured, and in the long run she will disappear into the sunset. Keep talking and getting to know her for as long as you can.

Not to mention... when was the last time (generally speaking), did somebody tell you it was a good idea to jump into anything? Now normally I would include, "that's what she said" after that, but I want you to think about this carefully. When in life is it EVER a good idea to RUSH?

[Asker]

Thank you for the strong and kind advice. And yes I know this going to take a lot of time. Only because we met online and we live in 2 different states. Maybe if we were in the same state things would happen faster But since we are distant All we can do is continue to get talk And make the time for each other. And I will take your word on telling her about how I feel again. When she’s ready she will let me know. But for now we just have to continue to get to know each other and take things slowly

[Interstate]

😁 👍 👏

[Screenwriter]

Five months isn't RUSHING into anything. You've been talking a long time. But the problem is no matter how long you've been TALKING, it's just Talk.

Rationally, you know nothing about her. You've never spent time with her, you don't know if you have quirks that get on each others' nerves, or if you'd enjoy each others' actual company for extended periods of time.

That takes in person dating. I'm sure she's reticent about saying anything about how she feels about you because she knows you in such a limited sense.

If you can't date each other regularly, you should let this simply be what it is: an unconsummated, long-distance relationship with many limitations.

And as nice as this person might be, isn't it far more rational to invest time and energy with someone who is nearby? Though there are plenty of fish in the sea, choosing a fish in Oregon when you're in Florida is a waste for both of you. Sure, keep talking and keep your friendship, but have friends and family introduce you to people in your city or town.

[Asker]

I’m keeping our location and information private thank you. She’s the only woman I want to be with. I’m not attracted to woman where I live. We both share the same interests. Yes we still don’t really know much about each other. It’s a work in progress. And for a long distance relationship, if it is what it is, that’s just what we have to live with for the time being until we’re both ready to take the next step and move in together etc

[Screenwriter]

OK. You've made your choice. Good luck.

[Asker]

I did But thank you for the strong advice Really appreciate it!

[dumazzs]

She might be dating someone

[Asker]

She’s been single for 8 years, As I been single for 9 years. We both had problems in our past relationships. We’re both just focused on our careers

[dumazzs]

I see

[Iron_Man]

I’ll take it slow

[Asker]

I was thinking the exact same thing, thank you.

[Iron_Man]

👍 Good job