Should I get into a relationship or not? I seem to be at a complicated situation at least to me?

[lightninghunter]

To understand the complexity read through

I was in a one-sided love situation where all I was given was hope and recently was completely shattered by a girl. It took me months to move on, and now I will say that I am less of an emotion-oriented person. Which has done me good ofcourse.

Then, few weeks back, I saw this girl, she is quite good, has a nice body, and I seemed to be attracted to her. I always knew I had a good game, and I texted her, played along as I was feeling it and now I am at a point where I know she likes me for sure, and now I am in a problem.

I don't want to end up using her for moving on, which I think somewhere in my mind that is why the attraction is. Initially I didn't feel like it but now I feel that I might end up using her, but again she is a very nice person. I am scared of getting into a relationship and ending up breaking her because I know that at this point it would take a lot of time for me to emotionally bond with people on that level.

We are quite close at this point, to the point where I can say that if I propose her right now she will say yes for sure. That is where I am hesitant about, this will be my first relationship then, I have been in situationships before but never an actual relationship.

What do you think I should do? I don't wanna break her, but I don't wanna let her go just like that without trying either.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that's a real tricky situation. On one hand, you don't wanna lead this girl on if you're not ready to properly commit. But I get not wanting to bail either without seeing if there could be something there.

A few thoughts:

- Be honest with her about where your head's at. Explain you've been burned before and it'll take you time to fully open up again. See how she feels.

- Take things super slow and keep things casual at first. Like make it clear it's just hanging out, having fun. Don't put pressure on it being an official "relationship."

- Pay attention to how you actually feel when you're with her. If you start to really like her company and she makes you smile, that's a good sign.

- But also listen to your gut - if you feel yourself detaching or using her to not be alone, pull back ASAP to save her the hurt.

- Maybe go on a few dates first before deciding. Getting to know each other more could help you both figure out if there's real potential here.

Ultimately man, just communicate openly. Be real about your past and go at her pace. As long as you're both honest with each other, I don't think you need to totally bail yet. See what happens!

[BadApple69]

Stop thinking so much about it. So you’ve been hurt. Learn from it, suck it up and move on. You said your are attracted to her, and that she is a good girl… enough said… go for it. See what comes from it. You might fall for her or you might not… you don’t know till you try.
Most importantly, stop over thinking things.

[Miristheiss]

Is she girlfriend material?

Set the boundaries you will and won't accept to get your commitment and if she is good girlfriend material and honors your boundaries than go for it.

Don't commit to girls who expect to keep acting single and who advertise themselves sexually on line.

No sex workers, strippers, OF girls (even if they've quit), no getting drunk, going out to bars/clubs and partying, doesn't have IG with tons of sexy bikini shots and a public page where guys get to DM her all the time, no women who have ever cheated on any past mates.

If you commit to anyone like that then you are a fool.