Am I good enough for him?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend and i have been together for about a year now, I am 19 he is twice my age i am aware of the age difference but love is love. now we work together but we were dating/talking before we started working at the same job, so i see him outside of work and at work. im starting ton think i am not good enough for him.

he compliments other females more than he does me, there is the pet names he has for me like "holy moly" or "big bird" its ridiculous. I have asked him repeatedly to not call me those names and he does it anyway not sure if he is just joking but they make me feel bad.

i do not feel comfortable eating in front him or undressing in front him, i put in effort when it comes to my appearance, of course when i can you know, priorities but i know i can't always have my hair done or nails done to impress him and in order for me to even get a compliment i have to complain about how he does not compliment me and when he does its just "you look nice' or "you look good" but other females get "damn baby" only time he makes me feel good or when he is not picking with me is, when were being intimate he says the things i want to hear but not sure what to do anymore, i feel like im being controlled i pamper him makes sure he eats rub his back and feet everything a man can possibly want but i have only met the mother no one else and we dont really go out on that many dates i just feel like i am out of his lead financially and appearance wise maybe he deserves "TROPHY WIFE" because i do not feel like one. am i doing something wrong? what is wrong with me?

[neeeeeeeko]

It sounds like you're insecure in your relationship and rightfully so. You're not doing anything wrong, you're beautiful, supportive, and caring, that's everything a guy could ask for. But what he's doing is inadvertantly making you feel horrible in the relationship by the way he interacts with other girls and the way he takes no regard in the things that make you feel uncomfortable. The way he interacts with other women is not appropriate for a man in a relationship, and this also contributes to how you feel. The fact that he calls you stuff you don't like and only makes you feel better when he wants sex from you shows me that he only takes your feelings into consideration when it furthers his own goals.

I recommend leaving this relationship, he's manipulating you and ruining your self esteem to make it easier for him to manipulate you. You're worth so much more and you deserve better.

[Asker]

thanks for the advice.

[JustinTimberlegs]

O God I thought you said he's 19 and twice your age and I was like... You're a 10 year old dating a 19 year old? Thank goodness I'm just blind

Anyway it sounds like you've tried to talk to him about this before. You deserve so much better. Don't ever worry about being good enough for anyone, you'll never be happy. Put yourself first, you deserve it. I hope you find someone who makes you feel like the queen you are.

Wish you both the best!

[Asker]

thank you for your kind words. can i ask you something? he's also selfish he doesn't want to let me go i do not know what to do, i literally just finished crying i hadn't been to sleep i just logged off for a bit. my question is how do i leave someone alone when they won't leave me alone, can't really change jobs right now, and he knows where i stay.

[JustinTimberlegs]

Hey, yeah it's hard especially when they won't take no for an answer. I remind myself that they don't really want me, they just don't want to lose me. You are right, it's very selfish.

It's complicated because you work together, but if he doesn't leave you alone you might have to report it to someone higher up than him, it is inappropriate conduct. If he won't leave you alone outside of work you might need to get a restraining order.

I'm sorry things are so hard right now and your heart must be in a hundred pieces. Try to be kind to yourself, go to the spa, get a massage, be with people who support you. I'm sending you the biggest hugs. Hang in there! You will get through this, I believe in you ☺️

[Asker]

thank you its good to know that i am not alone in this, i just want to be loved and feel wanted you know. i dont have the money to do those things barely making it with the bills i have to pay but im sure i can find other ways to relax and take time for myself.

[JustinTimberlegs]

No problem. We all deserve to feel loved and wanted, and I hope you find someone who will see you as the previous gem that you are. You definitely deserve better. Best wishes!

[Avicenna]

if you don't have a relationship of equals, you need to find someone else

[Asker]

no one else wants to be bothered with me and if they do it's only for sex, i guess im just not pretty enough to be seen with or be called someones girlfriend, now that i think about it im always introduced as the friend when meeting his friends or his relatives, only his mother knows that we're in a relationship.

[Iron_Man]

TThe age difference is not a problem I just hope it really works out for you

[Asker]

thank you i hope so too after this i give up

[Iron_Man]

Be positive you’ll do well

[In_Trance]

Yes, but not in your eyes