Guys: how did it feel dating single mothers?

[TessCasie]

Details would be appreciated

[Qdbrown]

Dated three, all bad experiences. There is no spontaneous dating. There is often no drinking while the kids are there. You always have to work around her schedule. You can feel her pushing her kids to be closer to you. Some I liked, others not so much. Sex was often muted when they were there. Fun sex was on their dad's weekend.

Then one mom thought nothing of me paying for her kids dinners on outings, and the kids ordered big meals, expensive shakes and deserts. We are talking expensive family night. And don't forget you will be on the hook for Birthday and Christmas gifts, besides hers. At least they don't get offended if you forget their birthdays, and will often hint weeks before. If you intend to go on vacation, get ready...

Then upset baby daddies. I had one that came in wanting to see his kid on an off night drunk as skunk. That turned into police and a long upset night. I had one send me a letter to do a background check stated in their decree, allowing him to pull using my SSN and DOB. I had one baby daddy who made regular drivebys to see what was going on, still reeling from the divorce. I always wondered if getting shot was looming?

Then one older teen had a breakdown and we spent the night trying to find him when he ran away from home. Weekend destroyed.

I had one who was autistic. Never again. That's for parents. Not for strangers. Lots of research and effort on handling kids with special needs.

One boy was a spitting image of a young Jeffrey Dahmer. I still have nightmares about that kid. Just creepy weird.

And I didn't understand the bigger picture then, but all three of the moms were responsible for their divorces. They started making bad decisions early on to have bad mating choices and all the other impechous decesions they made on a daily basis that would become my liabilities had I wifed any of them up. In short, all were bad long-term investments. All pretty much had extensive body counts. One more than a 100. And that took getting her drunk and being silly while she was on the otherside for the truth. She told me 19 about three months in. All were in debt. The best was only $19k in debt. The most was $148k with a home and student debt. Most went to doctor regularly. Most insisted on new cars, and wanted larger homes for their kids.

It's not just dating a single mom. It's also a lifetime investment in children that are not yours. Some guys don't care, but if I am going to pay more than $10k, it's going to be for my gene pool. And I really like helping kids, but it's not my job as a guy on the dating market.

[TessCasie]

Why did you even consider dating these women is it cause the sex was good?

[Qdbrown]

All were two to six years out of my divorce. After 40, it wasn't easy finding women who didn't have kids in their late 20's and 30's.

Two were average in the sack, but the freaky 100 girl was way off the charts. No girl I have been with could keep up with her. She believed no man should go to sleep or wake up without a quality bj. I am talking 15 minutes, clean with her tongue after you blow girl. I hit the sexual jackpot, and she had all kinds of tricks and claimed she was always in the mood. You would think what's the problem as a guy with that? She was still seeing a number of guys that she didn't tell me. And I turned her into a booty girlfriend, not serious because I liked her sex so much, but I found why. She had been taught by some guys how to please a crowd. She had done porn, swingers clubs, been a pro for a short time, and was a sub. I came up with this painful sensation down there. Thought I caught something. Fortunately not, and then she was told she might have been exposed to HIV. So I called it off. It was too much. I was beginning to see reasons why you don't go to bed a hoe. Definitely worth the experience. But not worth going long with. I realized a normal girl was the way to go. And I also dated childless girls. They often had mental issues. So... It has been an adventure.

[TessCasie]

We’re they very skinny body wise or fat?

[TessCasie]

Don’t you think your sex addiction costed you to deal with low quality women?

[OlderAndWiser]

When I was in my second year of law school, I was 30 years old and I started dating the girl who cut my hair. She was sweet and very cute. She had a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old son and their father was marginally involved in their life.

She would get a babysitter for her kids but I spent some time with them when I went to pick her up. I very quickly got attached to her kids, especially her son. A few months later, she broke up with me and I lost my relationship with her and with her kids, and I suspect that her son was upset as well.

LESSON: Do not meet a lady's children unless and until you are at the point of seriously contemplating making a relationship permanent.

[Maria99_]

Dated few single moms my last ex didn’t end well they leave kids with parents go party. I’m a party girl to but I have no children.

[Maria99_]

Thank You For mho.

[have_a_good_day]

I wouldn't do it. The chances of you finding the exact right combination of mother and child that fits well with you and doesn't have all the extra add-ons such as a father who's an active part of the kid's life, that will only end up confusing or hurting the child in the long run with the new "family setup", is not good.
Most good mothers will always put ALL the needs of their kid ahead of any of your needs. So much so to the extent of causing you to feel excluded or disconnected or frustrated.
Everything has its place and if you go into a relationship with that type of dynamic, you better go in with pure intentions and a level head. Otherwise you'll end up with molehills turning into mountains and you'll just fuck up their lives as well.

[Browneye57]

It's a giant fail. For a LOT of reasons.
And a single mother has no business dating in the first place. Whatever she has left after working and running a household by herself, she OWES to her children. That's the VERY LEAST she can do after screwing up their lives with a broken home.
After the kids are grown and gone then MAYBE she'll be in a place to dip a toe in the dating pool again.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Browneye57 BINGO! As a single mother you should forfeit your "YOLO", "Go Girl", cock carouseling until your kids are on their own.

[ChattyGuy43]

I tried dating a single mother, i was smitten for a girl I talked to over the phone, she came to my place one day, we made out in my room first of all, then I went back to her place but once I met her daughter it dawned on me, that it wasn't going to work, I didn't want to be put in that position of trying to take over as her dad and she kinda knew it wasn't going to work so she drove me back home again. As hot as she was & this girl was hot, it just wasn't going to happen so I never tried after that

[Hairylegs222]

It felt unfair since I have no children of my own. I no longer date single moms. Had bad experiences with the ones I dated too. I didn't make the mistake of having kids with a partner than it didn't work out. If a couple has kids they better make sure that guy or girl they're with are 100% going to be together forever. Having kids on accident excuse is irresponsible and wreckless in my opinion.

Having said all that, kids themselves are a blessing no matter how or what family. I'm a hard ass on the parents though.

[ohshee]

I have dated single mothers before. I love it when the mother is engaged with their children's life when they are the priority and not me I've warned both of those shoes and the girl I was dating made me the priority and I did not like that I tried to explain to her kids come first no matter what I tried to explain to them that there's going to be guys that might come into their life and they're going to want all the attention if that's the case then they are not going to treat your kids very well I never understood the reasoning behind that but I think it's some sort of jealousy bulshit being a single parent is hard and you have to have everything balanced to succeed do you make your kids succeed and become better than you are good night hope all mothers that read this I understand your kids must come first no matter what and not in a negative way in a positive way always

[ToastyOats]

Unless she's willing to have children with me its not an option. I've tried and after to get to know both of the moms I dated i felt that they just had terrible taste in men or were unwilling to make it work. The one with bad taste I had to dump and the other was so crazy, hot and cold
I was never sure if I could be the Father of the household or not. Id get blamed for being to allowing and chastised for interfering also. I assume she did that with the biological father also. A man who wants a family wants his own, A man who doesn't will not want the drama and be unhappy and is much more likely to be an abuser. Across the board, it has been statistically proven to just be a bad idea raising children not blood related. More bad outcomes on average. If I could have told a younger me to focus on women without kids I would have.

[Tunasub]

It felt like dating anyone else except I knew that her child came first which I had no issue with. I think a a lot of people struggle with not being the priority, and why they stay away or feel that it's a bad idea to date a single parent.

You'd think that it would be a characteristic that people look for, but it doesn't seem to be that way. at least from what I read on this app.

[ChrisMaster69]

Dated before, was relatively okay.

I have a daughter, so was not a huge effort,

they problem arose in that she wanted pretty much a direct replacement for her previous husband without the cheating it.

the thing is we are all different people and you need to adjust to each new person.

She was not able to, which meant the relationship was doomed and it was my ex wife that spotted it first lol.

[Dchrls78104]

Never have and never will. I've seen men marry single mothers but it's not something I think I have what it takes to get involved with.

[TessCasie]

Were they successful marriages?

[Dchrls78104]

Two I know were; some others weren't.

[TessCasie]

Why they weren’t?

[krin_m]

It was very fine when I dated single mothers in the past. You just have to make sure that you include the kids very genuinely in some of the family oriented activities.
Dating is more than just sex in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, sex is an important part but you do not have to compromise that to be part of each other's lives.

[The-Wise-Phoenix]

Been there done that. Way too much trouble.
I do not date single mothers anymore.

[TessCasie]

What happened?

[The-Wise-Phoenix]

I dated a few single mothers and the problems are too long to list.
Single mothers are notorious for flaking at the last minute. And there is always the baby daddy lurking in the background waiting to cause problems.
It the last one that made me say never again smoked a joint while her 8 year old daughter was in the same room only a few feet away watching cartoons.
I know that many people don't consider marijuana to be a big deal but to do that in front of your own child is just wrong.

[Prideful]

You avoided a bullet.

[TessCasie]

Wow 😯

[boggboss]

Have heard from friends it can be frustrating when the father is still in the picture involving himself in her life and the commitments she has for her child makes daring and building a bond hard

[Wisdom-Strength-Love]

when you're kid gets older like 12+ , it is a lot easer and creates more opportunity and possibilities.

if you're kid is infant - to toddler - you better be on board for having a 2nd baby daddy

[Anonymous]

It's really tough, especially when they have great kids. The mother quite rightly worries about her kids getting overly attached to you in case of a break up, but one thing that is never considered, and that is the attachment you might have to her kids. Taking them to theme parks, museums, swimming bowling etc. I ended up missing that more than her.

[worldscolide]

the one time i took that risk, it was the most emotionally painful experience of my entire life.

[TessCasie]

Oh really? What happened

[worldscolide]

We broke up because I found out she was alienating the father..

[TessCasie]

That’s sad

[worldscolide]

Agreed. It was worse because the kids really liked me and it broke my heart to tell them I would not be there any more.

[IDontBelieveIt]

It was alright only had 3 months so not long enough, but I felt more grown up I wanted to support her but also be a dad to her daughter.

[Anonymous]

There just sex toys. Don't take them serious unless you old and wanna trick money off on them.


If your a simp blue pill beta your gonna raise someone else leftover seeds.

If he didn't want her why would you

[thathonestman]

Oh yeah it’s every man’s dream to raise someone else’s kid.

[TessCasie]

Lol I know you’re being sarcastic lolll

[MudRucker]

Two issues.

First, the kids may not like the fact that man is taking daddy's place.

Second, as a guy I don't what to be a third wheel. A good father would take care of his kids which means he would spend time with them. I have no need to deal with the ex.

[NibirX]

Good...

bit of nervous as they're grown up and may have bad days...

After all I will like if she is my kind of lady...

Also a bit of being naughty in speech** is expected...

I would have sympathy for her

Everything is normal , I Think...