Why is it to hard for guys to commit?

Question

I find it crazy how the majority of this generation prefer not to be in relationships. Just casual dating, talking and seeing where things go. It’s a waste of time.. it’s very hard to find a boyfriend. Not sure if I’ll ever be able to experience what it’s like to be in a relationship. I know my worth and I know I don’t want to settle for less.

hellionthesagereborn · Accepted Answer

Lets put it this way, how willing would you be to have casual sex IF the guy was not willing to wear a condom and if you got pregnant he would haven't to pay you anything and could just walk away without any kind of responsibility to you or the child?

That is basically relationships for men. Women want a man to commit i. e. they want a traditional relationship where the man full fills his traditional role BUT women refuse to be traditional. It is "sexist" to expect a woman to not have had sex before marriage, to cook, to clean, to be submissive and to obey her husband but its absolutely reasonable for women to expect a man to shoulder all the responsibility, to provide and protect her to lead her (even though he is not allowed to tell her what to do he is still expected to lead some how) and commit to her.

So he has to give up everything and she gets everything while he gets nothing out of this. Then on top of all of that, she can at ANYTIME, divorce him and take away half of his belongings no matter how rich or poor he is, take away and restrict access to his children and he is helpless to stop her. IF he divorces her, the same exact thing happens where he loses everything.

So under those circumstances, why would a man commit? Well, the only way he would commit is if he is totally ignorant of the law and culture and thanks to the internet and how bad society has gotten most men know plenty of guys who had their lives completely destroyed, in many cases it wasn't even his fault she just grew bored (or cheated on him and took everything from him).

Commitment ONLY works if both parties are equally commited, equally invested, and equally liable if things fall apart and that is simply not something that is happening right now. He gives up his resources and his life for access to her reproductive potential. Currently she gives up that reproductive potential to anybody she meets (fuck buddies, one night stands, casual relationships and long term relationships). He does the traditional masculine work and she . . . gives access to reproductive potential that was given up to anybody she meets (and only if she is in the mood because while all that he gives is a guarentee (he will never kick her out of the house, never stop providing for her and never stop protecting her, the only thing she gives in return is completely conditional and given only on whim).

Now obviously this is not all women, that should be a given, but it is a great many women and men know this. That is the issue, your basically asking a guy to trust you enough to put a loaded gun in his mouth and no sane person will take that chance.

So if you want a relationship, you have to do the exact opposite of what society is telling you to do (and maybe you do in which case great, your already half way there), you need to be feminine, you need to be nurturing (he protects her from physical threats, but she is his emotional outlet, its the balance which is sorely lacking in todays society), you need to cook and clean if your not working full time like he is, you need to not be promiscuous and not give up sex to just anyone (statistically the best situation is waiting until marriage but in our day in age that isn't really realistic (people are not marrying in the early twenties like they use to), so at the very least keep it to long term relationships only), and do things of that nature.

If you do that it will make you more likely to be seen as a long term partner, some one worth commiting to. However its going to be harder because so many women are not that most guys have been burned or seen others burned and don't want to be in that same boat. So your going to have to work harder to show that your not like those other women.

In short if you want traditional commitment and traditional relationship you need to be a traditional woman, anything else is just hypocrisy and a bad deal for a man.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Same reason it’s hard for girls to commit , it’s sad to say but I blame a lot of this on social media and how the society is today , people have become brainwashed off of shit they see or hear off of tv and internet , every guy is a fuck boy and every girl is a whore , people have chosen image over actual hearts , people don’t really trust each other these days , they are afraid to give their hearts to someone to be shitted on. Or lied to. Nobody wants someone a 100 percent , cuz they are afraid that person is lying to them and knowing they have a list of other’s standing in line for them , Trust in people has diminished , People’s expectations and preferences lare way too long , if someone doesn’t match up to their list they instantly lose interest and move on to the next , Most people just like the convenience of each other these days , cuz when things don’t go their way they move on to the Next instead of trying to fix it like most of are parents did in the past , Divorce rates has climbed over Marriage rates , cheating and affairs has climbed as well compared to the past, To find true love these days is like playing the lottery sadly to say because people’s expectations are through the roof , no one really cares about someone’s heart these days it’s more about what’s inside their wallet or how they look , I just found out how much these Girls are making doing Only Fans and premiums and it just blew me away , just goes to show what this world has come to , this pandemic has screwed up a lot of things as well but all in all people just don’t trust each other these days , it’s harder to give your heart to someone that has a lot of other options to choose from , After my divorce and entering the dating world again , I was blown away on how people are today compared to how it was before I got married , I lost my marriage cuz my ex got sucked into the social media world and she ended up having a affair with a married coworker, that was. secretly flirting with her over the phone , behind my back , Thank God for Gut instincts that I knew something was off on how she was acting around me. I ended up busting her and kicked her out and filed for divorce , After her I met a great girl , she made me feel like I was walking on clouds to find out after 6 months of dating that she was secretly married and playing me , The list goes on , so when it comes to me committing again to someone and taking the chance of getting my heart stomped on is a long shot and a huge part of me doesn’t feel like taking that chance again , Being single and content has seemed so far the better option for me

alice55 · Accepted Answer

bécasse they don't want to have someone who bother them and stop them from doing what they want to do. Being in a relationship is boring because you always have to be careful of what you do and say, you cannot do everything you want because if you do the other person will be annoyed you have to make sure your partner is ok with what you do and nobody want this when they're young, healthy and full of life.

Too there's some guys who want real relationship and all but usually if they're really young like under 25 then I would say be careful cause they're usually the insecure, clingy, possessive and jealous one. My sister is used to this kind of relationship (she's only 20 but started dating since she's 16 and only want to be in serious relationship but she always end up in shitty relationship with controlling guys that speak of children and wedding too fast).

So if you want a real long serious relationship you can have one.

jillybeanns · Accepted Answer

Well it depends. Are you speaking about guys your age or younger? You’re not going to find very many 20-25 year olds that are ready for commitment. That’s just the truth.

On the other hand, it could also be the fact that the men you are interested in just aren’t interested in committing to you specifically. Doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s something wrong with you (I mean it could but I don't know you). Honestly, you should stop seeking commitment and do a lot of introspection if you want to find the true root of the cause.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Reliance on digital communications, instead of actually talking to each other, had increased to the point that many of your generation are not developing the skills needed for relationships. They don't want to admit that it's a date but they call it "hanging out." They ask for a date by sending a text instead of talking to you. They won't "become official" until you are on the way to the hospital tp deliver your first child. They break up by sending a text. Happy news isn't shared and enjoyed within the relationship; it must be plastered all over social media.

Then you get that text that says he wants to break up and you wonder why you never felt any real closeness with him.

MalesGOD1 · Answer

Its not crazy its sanity for men. And it wasn't always this way but its been this way for 50 years and since it started its gotten worse by the day for women. Men everywhere are choosing to avoid women in one form or the other to entirely. Men are choosing to avoid women in ways to deny them access to their money and semen, to protect their freedom and not go to jail/prison because of a woman's lies. Men now more than ever and getting larger in number by the day are aware of the dangers of women and most of all are admitting what happens to other men over women can happen to them. No longer are the days of "It won't happen to me". Recently boys are becoming aware and accepting.
The problem deep down into the root cause is unfair laws against men brought on by feminism. Feminists starting in the 1970's after realizing that they could bend men to their will on their own they turned to the legal sector to bully men into submitting to feminism. Since then unfair law to men after unfair law to men have been created. Now once women successfully get men into court they almost always get their way/win and the men had almost no chance in winning and or defending themselves. For most men just knowing/accepting that innocent men are accused of rape, found guilty and go to prison all the time is enough to scare men away from women. Even if you say that example is rare... and it isn't... its scary enough that it just takes one proven example where it did happen.

VanillaSalt · Answer

Well I know my worth as well. I know that 53% of marriage ends with divorce of which 80% is initiated by the woman. I know that in court next to a woman my voice might as well be silent. I k ow the cost. I also k ow that 20 years in an ltr is the exact same thing as marriage - the government.

I won’t marry because it’s a fucking trap for men. When a woman can leave the agreement at any time and is almost guaranteed to get you for alimony but if a man leaves he… still pays alimony. It’s unbalanced and not worth it. Until laws change and divorce is either frowned upon again or the punishment for divorce disappears I won’t marry. It’s the only thing men get a real say on in the relationship. Don’t give that up for nothing guys.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree. I feel our generation is becoming a joke when it comes to relationships. I personally don’t like the hookup, just talking and casual dating culture. I don’t want part of it. If I’m dating, I’m looking for a relationship and to be committed to someone. I feel that’s how it worked at some point, but not anymore. Even if I was up front with what I’m looking for, I feel a guy would still waste my time. I’m 25, a virgin and decided not to date due to working on myself. I’m ready to start dating but based on where our culture is at, a lot of guys answers on this question and how guys view dating in general, I don’t want to step foot in the dating scene.

Rab1901 · Answer

I think most guys actually really want to commit but only for the right person because as many people pointed out, there are many girls who just aren't loyal and/or not worth having a relationship with. Guys want sex because it feels good although the pleasure of sex is overly fueled by the power of imagination and porn which further fuels imagination. But deep down men know that promiscuous girls such as the ones in porn are more likely to be unfaithful and this is further confirmed by statistics. However guys see porn so often that they think that all girls are like that. Not saying promiscuous girls can't become faithful but it's not likely according to their own admission

ohshee · Answer

See what you have to understand is guys your age you are two or three times more mature already than they are most guys your age do not want to commit because they don't have a job you don't have a car they're always broke and the guy just does not want to even be with somebody if they can't do it right or they don't want to be embarrassed about it or they don't want to embarrass themselves so most of times they don't commit most of times you're very rude people because they turn it around so it's all on you you're the bad person that's the reason why by blah blah I can tell you right now just by reading your post if there's a lot of guys they're missing out on a very beautiful very down-to-earth person on the inside who has a heart of gold so I know for a fact that somebody will find you or you will find them just because of the energy you put out you're very very beautiful person it will happen

Browneye57 · Answer

You don't know your worth, and it's inflated in your little head beyond what it is.
Guys your age are not ready to commit. Hell, their brain doesn't even fully form till about 25. So they have no business making any life-changing decisions in the first place.

Your total focus is on YOU. Consider what you'll DO for your man - and be able to articulate that, before you even THINK one will commit to you. What exactly do you bring of high value to a relationship? You need to be able to explain this, cuz a high value guy will expect it. And no, it's not your empathy, or your golden vagina - common to ALL women.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because we don´t like to dig very deep. The problem is that some of us guys don´t understand girls and what they really want. When young people nowadays talk about what they want they go for pretty common attributes like loyalty/love/humor/patience but we´re less willing to fight for it because it is way easier to leave when hard times go than to go through together.
Many guys want a relationship but when hard times come they realize that they are not ready for a relationship because that´s a part of it they haven´t thought of.
It´s a phenomen that´s part of modern day culture and I don´t think it´s only something guys do.
I get the problem you have with it because it took me some time when I started dating that I might be not ready to commit so I´m not dating at the moment.
It is a problem that will become stronger in the future because everybody wants a relationship but no one wants the responsibility coming with it.

tuvwxyz · Answer

It's like finding a girl who constantly says, "lets leave our phones at home (or at least turn them off) and spend time focused on each other, without distractions"... today's relationships are, often, little more than constant competition, for attention, against everything else in someone's life... why would anyone want this in the first place, you don't even take relationships seriously enough to leave your phone at home, and regularly give a man undivided attention (I know you don't because this is near universal among young women).

Sonorous · Answer

At the core, it's because monogamy isn't an innate value. And even when we've been taught to value it, we still have intrinsic motivations telling us to not be limited. which has its effects in different ways. And since we're all independent entities, it's gets even more complex. So, the specific reasons could go on and on and on. But there are general overarching themes that can explain those general reasons in fewer but still essential parts.

And they're probably out there in Wikipedia somewhere or some credible psychology website. So I suggest going to them if you really wanna know. And you could even go to manosphere related places and hear the men out to find commonalities.

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

Because they're normally still enjoying their youth. You date older for relationships, because they usually have their "partying days" behind them & focusing on the rest of their lives. But early & mid 20s is the height of the "fun period", and it isn't just guys, it's gals too.

Adam1978 · Answer

I think it's because of the imbalance in relationship. People expect way to much to fast. Which means guys must either fake it or not date. Women doesn't release that their worth is created during a relationship, it's not something they gain for free by being born with a pussy. So they have removed everything of their table, except perhaps the pussy and still expects the same or even higher price from men. That is pricing themselves out of the market. And guys will just window shop not commit to a buy. Because they guys that match the ladies by removing as much from their table isn't seen as a commiter. A bad deal will always mean few takers.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

Guys typically only commit to what they think is the 'best.' Now best is subjective, but it's usually a trade off of how pretty/hot, how chill, how sensible, how similar lifestyles etc., they can get with their bit in life. Unless it's clear she's the best he can get, he's probably going to consciously or subconsciously keep looking. His maturity level will dictate whether he leaves behind a string of spurned or satisfied lovers.

Women are much more likely to commit to someone who they believe treats them well. They are much more accepting of picking someone less physically attractive and someone with different lifestyle habits, as long as he is relatively affectionate, confident, stable, and above all willing to commit.

I do think women are faster to commit and I do think women are more likely to break up over lifestyle differences, who does what and is it at home or out?

Alyssa11 · Answer

Girls too. It’s not exclusive to guys. If someone doesn’t want to commit to you it means they don’t like you enough to choose you. They think they can do better and don’t want to limit their options so quickly.

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t think it’s usually guys. A lot of guys are willing to commit and will perform heroic acts of commitment. Whereas it seems that women would have no problem with manipulating or abandoning a guy just to get the dick she wants.

Think about guys that are suddenly sprung with divorce papers and have half their shit taken from them or even their own damn house that they pay for and have to have their ex wife and boy toy live in.

It’s not that guys have a problem committing it’s just that the guys you want don’t want a relationship with you. You should try being the type of woman a guy wants to commit to.

Floppy2112 · Answer

Because you females scare the shit out of us. As we look over the landscape of ruin of what used to be marriages and family and the fact that 80% of the time, women leave the relationship and take the resources of the man, there is little motivation to commit. Sex is just an internet search away or a tinder swipe away.
So sex, technically, is easy to get (if you have no standards it is because you can always get a hooker) and commitment can cost a man everything, men tend to be a little gun shy.

Hanrej · Answer

"I know my worth and I know I don't want to settle for less"

That there is the problem and why it's hard for you finding a relationship. You've allready made it clear to anyone reading that a relationship in your oppinion should be to your benefit. Not one time in your post did I read anything humbling like "what am I doing wrong? " or "what does it take to win a guy?"

This onesidedness is something I've found to be the standards in dating women and why I'm so glad I'm bisexual. If I want somthing out of a relationship I date a guy because women don't feel any sense of actually having to be of any use in a relationship.

JSmuve · Answer

Because when a guy commits, he's saying that he won't try to get with other girls and that he'll invest his physical and emotional efforts into one girl. Unfortunately, a guy can't know if a girl is worth the effort unless he has something to compare her to, which means dating around. Also, a lot of girls aren't worth committing to. They have emotional issues, drama, they sleep around, they're addicted to their social media and all of the attention that they get from it. A boyfriend to them is an accessory. I wouldn't want to commit to someone like that because they're not good long-term partners.

tata1993 · Answer

You’ll find the right one at the right time. It’s good that you don’t settle for less than what you deserve! Keep doing that until you meet a like-minded person

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

Nice guys want to commit, but the majority of women see them as pussies even though they are just trying to navigate the harsh world of feminism, and the rest of men, well some of them are the bad boy types who will never commit to anything but themselves and the rest are simply smart men who did the math and realized that marriage/kids/etc is a terrible, life-destroying risk. 80% chance of being divorced and financially plundered isn't the life anyone wants.

Anonymous · Answer

The amount of bitter guys in this comments is astonishing!
Is true that today, with sex being more easy to get, both guys and girls want to settle down later.
But you are 22. You still have lots of time to meet someone to build a solid relationship with don't worry. Keep putting yourself out there, pay attention to the red flags and sooner or later you will find someone.
Don't mind the gibberish that many idiots left here.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

You can't condemn a whole generation!  You may not have found anyone suitable yet, but there are plenty out there who want the same as you.

TexasRed95 · Answer

I think it is because of the current age of technological advances. We are so used to getting what we want right when we want it that no one wants to put time into anything anymore. People want to talk one time and expect it to be a perfect relationship with no issues. That's why you hear about people breaking up over little things instead of talking them out.

Hairylegs222 · Answer

I'm always ready for a relationship. Depends of course if she's right for me. Getting to know each other dating for awhile at first, then eventually she's my girlfriend.

hahahmm · Answer

Thank feminism. They wanted to destroy the traditional ways and that means guys have fewer and fewer reasons (women worth it) to commit to. The deck is stacked against a guy in the legal system too. A woman can lie and say he assaulted her and he can go to prison for 9+ years with zero evidence. Even if she admits to lying about it later there's close to zero chance she'll be punished. A guy is crazy to even talk to women these days.

Qdbrown · Answer

It's easy to point at guys. But it's really both. Not just guys. So many young girls will give it up, why would anyone want to commit, when so much is available and free? The guys are not causing that.

rienna888 · Answer

I think deep down we all want to have something serious. Sometimes people are just afraid, maybe they want to explore their options

KrakenAttackin · Answer

It is not hard for a man to commit but it makes no sense for him to commit.

With all of the Tic Thots begging to be fucked silly, why would an attractive man have just one?

If you stop chasing Chad Thundercock you will find plenty of men who are willing to commit.

Hypnos0929 · Answer

Because women don't understand that men have feelings.
That's pretty much it. Pretty much every guy learns to give loyalty sparingly because some women only want what they want until they have it. I've yet to see a guy just "fall out of love" for no other reason than they just aren't feeling it. Many women would rather blindside their long term partner than communicate, especially if she thinks she has another option.

m33lad · Answer

Because woman are married to Tiktok.
And man we’ve realized that.

On a serious note is because women are extremely annoying And extremely argumentative social media has destroyed them they don’t wanna do anything feminine and yet they want to demand limitless bullshit stuff from the guy.

There’s no peace being a relationship with a woman.

Oddi_211 · Answer

It‘s not hard. If a person (guy or girl) doesn‘t commit, he is just not on the same level as you. You need to accept that he does not want you as much as you want. Don‘t waste your time. Find a guy who wants you and commits to you because you are important to him

TheFlak38 · Answer

Meanwhile women make up the vast majority of cheaters and initiate more than 70% of break ups. And if men don't want to commit it's exactly because of this reason. All you have to offer is a vagina. A man on the other hand offers everything he has but just like that she can dump him and pick one of the other ten thousand penises waiting in line to fuck her. The game is rigged and you dont play rigged game because you can't win.

DWornock · Answer

"I know my worth and I know I don’t want to settle for less." That is the reason. The guys you want, will fuck you, but they don't want you for a long-term relationship because they can do better. Guys are very willing to commit if they think they are doing well.

Bakcula · Answer

Women made it like this. You see when a woman screams rape the moment you try to put your arm around her, or just being alone with one in the same room puts us all on edge. A simple phone call and the police throw us in prison no questions asked because in the world of the M2 movement where the man is always guilty even without a trial and the woman's word is absolute.

Blame your selves ladies this is what you created, as a result we cannot trust women.

Djaay · Answer

Women these days always are looking for all the good men. Maybe its time for women to take a deep kook at themselfs of what type of women they really are in the dating pool. Because of all the recent feminism hate bashing and so forth , you all really think men are there for you now? Better u women put yourselfs in deep check and realize why your choice to hordum isn't really much of your own choice. Before you all think I'm personally having issues of this sort , think again.

Anonymous · Answer

Let's be honest few women of any at your age want to commit other are just into pump n dump. Also if the guy commit the girl May lose interest and look for Chad these days dating is total headache unless both sides are good people and kind. I quit dating because woman play games and what makes things worse they say If man have no game he's a loser.

Katebfun · Answer

Because humans not just men are not programed to be monogamous. I've been cheated on by past 3 boyfriends. That's my conclusion.

Juxtapose · Answer

I'm not the one who initiates most of the breakups so I don't know what you're talkin' about lol. A lot of women are drunk on their ability to have sex anytime, anywhere with almost any guy.

serious · Answer

Well there are multiple reasons and one of the reasons is their inability to believe that a woman can be loyal to them.

nolabels · Answer

I made a commitment. I've stuck with it. It was the biggest mistake of my life.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Because you want your cake and eat it to. You want commitment. But you want it from the guy YOU choose. Life just seldom works that way is all.

Anonymous · Answer

I think it's hard for most people to commit these days. Just that social media and dating apps always means you can find someone else so people hold out.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Thats because only guys commit. Women can pull the rip cord whenever and guys are the ones stuck with the bill.
You want guys to commit again then you ladies need to reacquaint yourselves with a word called loyalty

Anonymous · Answer

It's at least equally as appropriate to ask why you're too eager to commit. It goes both ways.

Also this "I know my worth and I know I don’t want to settle for less" is a very unattractive thing to say and is a red flag for me.

EaterPeter · Answer

There does not seem to be real benefits for guy in there. Like committing to something and pay month after month for your whole life like never ending loan with ever increasing interest rate. And there is no easy way out.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

I know my worth too. No hymen no diamond. Waste of time. At least have a body count under 3, be fit and healthy and treat me with respect or you're not even worth a casual relationship just fuck and dump anything else.

Alexam2300 · Answer

Because, believe it or Not, those who are hard to commit, were hurt the Most. The simple act of remembering trauma or fallout from a breakup makes them close in even more. Try asking for reasons and Talk hin through it. Show him that you care

magiusX26 · Answer

look at how many in your generation fail to even show any signs of being worth a relationship anymore

heytakeiteasy · Answer

Younger people usually want to enjoy their youth, date around. Not always the case, but usually. Maybe try dating someone older

Shy_Steve · Answer

I think most of us do not know what we are committing to, So most of us are scared we might get stuck in something worse than we are in now and we won't be able to go back.

red324 · Answer

Why is it hard for girls to commit? 2 or 3 dates and they get wishy washy? Just as we begin to get to know each other which in my opinion is the fun part?

Zygum · Answer

It depends upon the culture, in Asian, Middle Eastern and in Muslim families, you will get, sincere, loyal and very loving boys, who will stick on their commitment, try, you will get your ideal boyfriend

Isitweird997 · Answer

Cos guys ain't interested in relationship... what's the point? seems pointless... we jus like sex... Were not emotionally or socially dependent... Were fine being alone... If you want a relationship get a pet dog

crazy8000 · Answer

You most likely going after wrong kind of guys just like majority of female's.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

It's not. Most men are able to commit to a relationship just fine.

TheOracle10 · Answer

I'd say its a bigger problem with women, most of the modern teen girls of today are whores or ewhores, who don't want children or a family.

007kingifrit · Answer

its not hard for guys to commit. its hard for 22 year old guy to commit. you're probaly dating too young

Malik00 · Answer

Because women go into a relationship with everything to gain and nothing to lose. Men go into a relationship with nothing to gain and everything to lose.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Depends your age. If you're young and you desire men around your age, then those guys typically are "playing the field" having sex with lots of different women and not ready to get married yet.

rcljr · Answer

Because we know the second we get married the sex stops, the fun stops and the nagging begins.

Why is it to hard for guys to commit?

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Why is it to hard for guys to commit?

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