“I’m gonna dump you if you don’t let me fuck enough” Is that nice and what you should say to your lover?

[Natcha]

Yes

No. It’s not something you should say to your lover

Updates

+1 y

(My boyfriend said that to me before and It’s really stuck in my head like forever)

[abc3643]

Dump him.

Now, I have to admit, in 1989, I dumped a girl and one reason (but definitely not the only or even near the most important) was that she said "You want it too much." We were 26 and in an LDR, so, yes, when we got a chance to be together, fucking was important to me because I wasn't going to cheat.

Anyway, I had been having doubts about this girl who was not very attractive, but, when she said that, that was the last straw and I grew cold while she was staying with me and, about 2 days before she flew back, I told her that it wasn't going to work out. I felt a little bad, but, I dodged a bullet with her, thank God.

[NamerOfStars]

"I want more sex, and it's a vitally important part of a relationship to me" is one thing; “I’m gonna dump you if you don’t let me fuck enough” is quite another. Give the matter and the guy some thought, and ask whether this is the inconsiderate thoughtlessness it appears to be, or just inarticulateness. Moments of stress, anger, and frustration can make people say things they do mean, but in poor ways. Is that what's happening here? Your grievances don't become illegitimate just because you're not a poet.

It's also possible that he's just being a jerk; examine the situation and think it through.

[Natcha]

So you’re saying I should just forgive him if he said it because he was stressed out or frustrated?

[NamerOfStars]

Not quite. He said something that you took offense at, and rightly so- it makes it sound like he's just valuing your relationship for its sexual element. But there's nothing wrong with saying you want more sex to the person you're in a relationship with; he might have just expressed it badly. I'm suggesting you consider the situation and ask yourself whether he's the kind of person who doesn't appreciate you beyond your body, or who does, but made a poor choice in the words he used, whether out of ignorance or strain or lousy vocabulary.

If he's otherwise a good guy, it may have just been something said in a moment of frustration that overpowered him- that doesn't make it a good thing to do, but we're none of us perfect. And if you were to respond to that kind of stressor by making a rash decision- like, say, breaking up with him on the spot- you'd be doing the exact same thing. Take a breath, then take a mental breath, and try to think it through. "I'm willing to discuss our sex life, but what you said hurt my feelings; it made me feel like you only value me for sex" is a a hard thing to say when you're freshly insulted, but it can make it clear that you're willing to be reasonable, but he was out of line- an important thing to be able to do in a relationship.

[Daniela1982]

I would say help him out the door and get himself a call girl and he can have sex whenever he wants it.

[Natcha]

That’s what I said to him lol But he came to apologize and said he could have worded it differently. But I can’t just forget that fucking terrible things he said to me 🙄🙄

[AmandaYVR]

What a piece of shit.
On behalf of good people everywhere, kick shit like this to the curb.

[OlderAndWiser]

Let's condense that statement to its crudest but most honest form. "I want your pussy, that's the only reason we are together, and I don't care how you feel about it." How's that sound?

[Natcha]

Fucking terrible

[ArrowheadSW]

Back in my late twenties, a lady who I was dating said something along that line to me. The issue was that a lot of the time after working a long day with the public, if I had a rougher day than normal, I just wanted to go home and not socialize. She never "got it" with that and said stuff like this. Needless to say that didn't last long. That was so demeaning. Not the kind of thing you say to someone to get your way that's for sure.

[FlutteringFeelings]

You’re not an object and if he wants something to that extreme then he needs to find a toy. A man that loves you will be gentle and makes sure that the both of you find pleasure in the moment.

[007kingifrit]

your question is wrong. its not nicely worded but the sentiment itself is understandable. even commendable considering the alternative is to cheat.

people need to be satisfied and sometimes they aren't getting it enough. that means they might have to go elsewhere. if you can't do it as much as he wants then that might be a problem

[Natcha]

I totally understand that point. But is that what you should say to your girlfriend? It made me feel like I’m nothing to him but objects for him to fuck. He should have worded it differently and nicely

[007kingifrit]

the wording you describe here is very bad yea

[Bee-Hatch]

It's reason enough to ditch him. I'm sure he will get on better playing with himself and regretting being a dick.

[Subarugirl]

It would be better if you said something along the lines of, "This isn't working because my needs aren't being met. I want to end the relationship."

[slatyb]

It’s crudel expresses but it’s honest. Pretty mush the same thing as “I don’t think this is going to work because our sexual desires don’t match.”

[Natcha]

I understand. But he could have worded it differently 🙄

[slatyb]

I completely agree. It's very poor to try to get sec by threatening to leave.

[James_Likes_PPL]

Guys literally need sex every 72 hours. It’s like eating for us. We actually need it as in it’s a requirement for survival.

[Coulis]

That's being generous every 72 hours. You and I both know it's much more frequent than that. 😉

[Twalli]

@Coulis 24 to 36 hours if possible

[ChrisMaster69]

You don’t say anything, just point at that door.

Or walk through it yourself and wave.

[Twalli]

Sex should never be used as leverage. You shouldn't withhold sex because you're mad or to get something from him. He shouldn't threaten to leave you unless you have sex with him.

[Fireguy17]

Time to move on, doesn't sound like he is a very nice person.

[anylolone]

Not with that words. Something more like "we are not maintaining enough intimacy for me to be feel valuable as a partner."

[WowwGirl]

I'd say:" Tag in your brother on your way out the door, bye"

[Anonymous]

Maybe you shouldn't be so stingy with your booty? A quick BJ is all you need to give.

[Anonymous]

Had a girl friend tell me if I didn't start giving her more dick she would get it elsewhere

[SnakeBoop]

its manipulation and a shite ultimatium.

[Ninjazzed]

Sounds like something I’ve heard from most guys.

[Louquin95]

Move on he’s not worth it

[Anonymous]

Someone who say it should actually get dumped

[Fuentes]

Sounds childish