The upvotes to downvotes in the comments just prove that despite women's protestations about wanting equality, they still expect a free meal from guys. 😐
That said, I'm actually happy to front the bill on a date, but I resent the notion that I'd be negatively judged for suggesting 50/50 split.
In longer term relationships I've often alternated who picks up the bill on dates, as we both were trying to make ends meet. But for at least the first 2 or 3 dates I think it's wise that the guy pays, if only to demonstrate that he's WILLING to. Though I do wonder how many guys pay out of legit generosity, versus paying out of fear of being viewed as a "loser" or "tightass". Women's judgements of men are constant and fairly unchanging. I'm glad to have dated girls who weren't so precious that they couldn't pick up a tab once in a while. But if we're being really honest, a lot of women who claim to be "financially independent" actually end up resenting men who don't pick up the bill every time. Seems feminism means having your cake and eating it too.
I used to date this guy from work. He would not be seen at a restaurant with me. We would always do drive through and i would always pay. He supposedly worked with me and at Microsoft and owned two houses but he was always at my house and i was always cooking for him. One time he got angry at me for making his eggs too runny. I got even more angry and told him i never wanted him over ever again. He treated me like i was his slave. Good bye. Then he lied that his house had bug spray and he had to come over. I said no. Then he made a Facebook page and tried to message me. I blocked him. What a loser.
... they usually hate it, much less me offering to pay or even split it. However, if I'm out with a man I like, I have no issue paying for a date! If nothing else, it's just polite to offer, especially if you asked him out.
there was one date i had that i thought was really cool. we were talking about how i was looking for a strong, emancipated woman that is "my partner", not my "subordinate that i need to take care of"... she basically said that's the type of relationship she wants too. when the waiter came, she wanted to split the bill but i just payed for her before she could..
after that, we went to a bar and ordered some drinks. when i went to the restroom, she just paid for my drinks. that's exactly the sort of woman i'm looking for. too bad things didn't work out with her.
@Iron_Man guess she was way more ambitious than i was with her life. i found it she works in a leading for Porsche later on linked in. we both have similar levels of education but i personally just want a chill middle class life, no stressful high profile career. so i guess that's where things didn't fit.
Many times. Have no idea how many. It's normal here, so never thought to count. I'll usually pay if it's my idea and I insist on a place, if it's their birthday, or if we're celebrating something they've accomplished like acing exams or getting their license. Any other time we usually just pay for ourselves.
Yes. My husband and I dated for 5 years, were engaged for 2, and have been married for 3 years. During that time he has never had an income. He starts his first job on September 1.
I've paid for everything for the last decade for us. No hate - he was going to school. I don't judge him for that, it's just how it was. He starts work on the 1st though and I know he's super excited to start to contribute financially.
So... yeah, I've paid for a date or two in my time 😂😂😂😂
No, but that's just because I have never asked a man out. I think the person who asks out is usually the one to pay. I once had a date whose card was declined, then I had no choice but to pay. That was awkward 😂. I have taken my man out and paid when already in a relationship.
I had a card declined BUT the manager KNEW me from nutrition class, hahaha, nice! I was trying to help another date out and I got my card frozen in the process on the weekend so no money from the atm or nothing. I should have asked the manager out but she was already with somebody, damn yo!
My ex paid for most of our dates once she found out how little I actually got paid. I was a very low rank in the military struggling to pay off debts. She came from a family that was well off and her college was free since her dad was a professor at the college she attended. I paid for the dates for the first three months. I kept using credit cards to pay, not being fully aware how credit cards actually worked (nobody to raise me as a child so I had to figure life out on my own, before the internet was as big as it is now). Eventually I got too far over my head. I attempted to call off a date, one she knew I had been looking forward to for a while. When she asked me why, I decided to tell her the truth. Funny thing is instead of the date we were supposed to go on, I ended up cooking for her. We still had fun but she took the time to teach me a few things about loans and credit cards. When she saw a military pay chart, it pissed her off how little we actually get paid.
No, because I haven’t ever asked anyone out due to being very reserved. I’ve always been asked. I’m not interested in dating currently, but if I asked someone out, I would pay. I doubt anyone would let me do that though. I have tried to pay for outings and such, but most men refuse to let me, and get funny when I am adamant about doing it. My ex husband was the only one to let me pay for things when I wanted to.
Yeah I have before. I prefer not to in the early stages because I like to see how much the guy likes me and if he is a gentleman or not. So if a guy asked me to split the bill or pay for the date during the “getting to know you” phase, I probably wouldn’t go on another date with that person. but in a serious relationship I like to treat my boyfriend for special occasions or if we’re celebrating something he did, or even to do something nice if he’s having a rough time.
When i was dating, i always offered to pay for my half of the bill, especially on the first date. If they picked up the check for dinner and we went for coffee or desert somewhere, i'd pay for that, or do my best to.
Yes I have several times, that's pretty much all I know so I'm at the point now at 37 that I'd rather stay to myself. Men assume because I have a lot going on for me that I can and will take care of them. It has taken a huge toll on my self esteem.
I did get a few drinks and some food paid a few times I think. In fact, most girls prefer to buy you a drink when genuinely interested than to get one from you. For some reason I haven't gotten together with one after she was willing to pay for something... except with a bar owner who skipped charging me for them often
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I'm sure it happens but no girl has ever offered. They always just smile as I pull out the cash or card. It would be nice if they at least offered but I don't want to just ask. I actually hinted at it once and she still didn't offer. She didn't want a second date, by the way. Lol
@Moimaris Is she not trying to impress him? By that logic, why doesn't she pay?
There is no valid reason why men should still be the ones who are expected to do and pay for everything, and no valid reason why women should not offer to pay their share.
I have never had a woman pay or offer to pay for the dates. Usually we go out to a cafe where we talk and each pay for our own respective drinks. no harm, no fowl. If things go well we go out for dinner and pay 50/50, Or if the bill is cheap enough I'll pay it. If things go well, on the next date I'll cook a nice fancy dinner and we watch a movie, binge a series, or even co-op video games.
I think a couple of times when I was younger. Sadly, my lesson was - the more you give a guy, the less interested they become. If he pays, he instantly becomes more interested. It's weird, but it is what it is.
A male friend loaned me some money and he required interest on the loan. I had to take him out to lunch and pay the bill once a week until the loan was paid. Anything over $10 he would. Other than that, no.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I’m old school I prefer the guy pay first time.. however if we start dating longer than yeah we share or i pay he pays it depends than
That only happens month 3 or 4 and we’ve been exclusively dating and not seeing other people. I won’t randomly offer to take a guy out in the beginning stages and pay the bill. Not happening.
Yes once, but it wasn’t planned. I didn’t find out until after we had finished our meal that he didn’t have any money with him.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Happened to me twice, although I was the one to suggest going somewhere. I loved it. Felt like a woman actually fancies me and it feels good to be desired, knowing a woman really cares and doesn't view me as a wallet on legs. We decided to share the expenses :)
Unfortunately for both it didn't work out and went our separate paths.
