What would you do if you were crushing on someone and someone else asked you out?

Question

Purely a hypothetical question. Just curious.

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

Had this Happen twice both really crap situations and both were friends of the girl I fancied each time.

first one was school, I really fancied this girl and was making it really obvious, I likely spent too long chatting to her friend (who was also really lovely).
on a school trip to Isle of Arran (Scotland) I decided I would ask this girl out, however on the bus journey their her friend pretty much made a pass at me and we ended up snogging on the back seat, to a lot of cheering…kids…

the other was a bit later in life lol.

I was out with friends and one of the girls I had been interested in for a while, however I had just come out of a fairly bad phase of stuff. Anyhow, out on this night out, restaurant meal and sitting chatting, I was saying how it was weird being single (2 weeks) and I was having to look after myself, hinting towards this girl I liked.

I then said, I really must get a girlfriend and this girls mate just said ‘fancy going on a date’ , I was like rabbit in headlights and by reflex said yes.

GoldenAxer · Accepted Answer

Ultimately fair game as I see it. I think it's disrespectful to a best friend who you know is crushing on someone to ask them out without some conversation first, but I think ultimately the onus is on the person crushing to accept that they don't own their crush. If they see people as beings capable of freely choosing their partners and have that kind of respect for them and not see them as a form of property, then there is no concept of "stealing" especially in the context of someone who only secretly desires someone else without even bothering to promptly ask them out.

VIVANT · Accepted Answer

I know for a fact I will say “I'm sorry thank you for your interest and directness but i’m seeing someone”. It will be untrue but I will not be lying. I will feel like I mean it. It’s dumb but when I like someone- and I only like someone if I REALLY like them- I will feel as if we are dating. I do not mean I become delusional. I understand we are not together and very well may never be, I just mean my heart is occupied fully as if I’m already taken.

‘Temporarily lacking full capacity to accommodate dwelling seekers’ 😌😛

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

On paper, I would reject the guy who liked me and ask my crush out.
However, in real life, I knew that my crush had a girlfriend so I accepted the date and ended up becoming his girlfriend. I couldn't forget about my crush though so that was very unfair for the guy. I ended up breaking up with him because I just didn't see him that way.
I would suggest not dating anyone you don't like, at the very least physically because then you will subconsciously start disliking everything they do which isn't fair to them.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

I wouldn't go out with someone that asked me out if I was interested in someone else, that wouldn't be good for either of us.
Not good for me if I'm not with the person I really want to be with.. And not fair to the other guy, cuz he deserves to go out with someone that "wants" to be with "him" and not "someone else"..

Robin83 · Answer

Sexual attraction comes from the brain chemistry making you want to mate with her. That’s basically it. There is no such things as «the one» like in disney films. If someone asks you out, ask your self. « Could this be someone I could live a great life with?» Look for her qualities and if you like what you think, give it a shot. She can be your new crush if it matters to you, but it shouldn’t. Having a crush just lasts for a short time, true love is built over time.

Youryeodongsaeng · Answer

If someone random just asks me out, out of the blue, I'll just be friends with them to see if I'll develop feelings for them.
My crush... Only one of my crushes has asked me out and the others... I just stopped having crushes on them when I came to the conclusion of if it ever gets out, I'll be a laughing stock, so I just bury the fact that I even had a crush on someone who doesn't even like me back and doesn't even acknowledges my existence.

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

Take the person you want out of the equation. Could you be happy with the person that likes you? Is he what you have been searching for if so give him a chance if not let him know your flattered he likes you but you dont feel the same. Your sorry he's a great friend but you need someone more out doorsy for example.. by your side.

cloudspy · Answer

Asked you out as in just a date, if I found them attractive then I would go on the date and see how I felt after that. If after a date or two I still liked the crush more then I would consider asking them out or at least making it more obvious that I liked them in the hope they would notice and ask me out.
Essentially, I would still date other people even though I have a crush.

Jlegacy · Answer

Turn down the person when asked. Life is a bit tricky. You'd be tested with several love before you find the one. If you are not true to these test love, you may never find the love worth having. So not because your crush is the one but because you have to be the person who is true to their lovemeter to find the love worth having. Turn it down.

15_Debo · Answer

well I get what I want usually
If I have a crush on someone I will/would make them like me and then booom
and in the mean time if a guy asks me he'll be in a waiting zone if I start to like him then yes or no
That's it I guess😗

igaveyouanickname · Answer

If you're not committed to anyone, it makes no sense to wait around celibate in the desperate hope of one particular person maybe noticing you. If you miss someone great that you don't notice for an idealized notion of someone who actually turns-out to be a nothingburger, then you've just lost out by being inflexible.

You have to explore all potential options to the depth you know the certainty of incompatibility before abandoning a choice. First-impressions aren't 100% reliable.

Jake99999 · Answer

Okay so you are crushing on someone and it’s going nowhere? And then someone else asked you out? Well do you like the person that asked you out. Are you willing to give it a try? Then go out. What have you got to lose.

rjroy3 · Answer

I've done both and recommend going out with the person. If you're interested of course. Don't lead anyone on, but also don't wait for someone else unless

1. They know you're waiting for them to decide
And
2. That you can't wait forever, so if they take too long you're moving on

Anonymous · Answer

I DATE for a very long time before entering a committed/ exclusive relationship so I nearly always say yes to a date as long as they have
1) a car
2) a house/ apt of their own
3) a job
4) the intent to pay for the date
5) can maintain my interest

itsmicaelaxo · Answer

If I found them attractive I'd give them a chance. I mean, crushes might never develop into anything else because the other person might not even be interested in us. You might be missing out on someone for someone who might not even give you the time of day. And this other person who you don't really know might be fantastic. You're not married to your crush, so you don't owe them any loyalty

ohshee · Answer

You have to turn them down ,, well I would have to, because I know the moment did I said yes and the moment we went to wherever we were going the first person I would run into would be the person that I'm crushing on it and I just don't think it's cool no matter how you look at it if you really crushing on that person then you have to be committed to almost if you want that person

stupidgirlllll123 · Answer

If I didn't know them, I'd say no but only because I'd want to get to know them better. if I did know them I'd tell them I'd think about it.

ThatNoUVAtYourEyes · Answer

Ooh, that's tricky.
I skipped, for the longest time, any attention _except_ of the person I was interested in.
Strangely, it worked fabulously - I always got exactly who I was interested in, unmistakably.
It only stopped working with a person who lived some 400km away and I got to see only during holidays. As it happened, that experience was so traumatising I still haven't gotten back to what I know works (and it has been 30 years now).
I did recently on purpose go on a date with someone whom I was not especially interested in - it didn't help me with the person I fancied at the time. I did feel good about doing it since there was no wasted time or opportunity.
Weigh it up.

SpiderManFan2002 · Answer

I’d probably say no, because I either fall really hard or not at all- there’s no in between lol

SLRK3 · Answer

If I was crushing on someone and I knew I had a chance or close to have a chance with them I would turn down the person who asked me out! But I was crushing on someone and there wasn't really a chance I would possibly say yes to that someone and keep crushing with the other guy but that is just a bad way to be because it could have either bad or good affects on how it could affect the crushing..

molonski2 · Answer

Go with them , show you are sort after , never waste opportunity , it may even assist with the one you want , appreciate its a hypothetical , but go , go , go..
You can't sit around waiting , that would be crazy , you need initiative in life , the person asking you out has shown his colours and taken a chance.. GO.

thomasmore · Answer

You can waste a lot of time crushing after someone that does not care about you, or you can enjoy your live with someone that does.
-if you think you can get together with your crush, make the first step: ask him out.
-if asking him out didn't work or you don't think it will work out, drop that idea and look
elsewhere.
-if you like the person that asked you out and you can image to get together, just do it! go on a date with him.

pink_and_inlove · Answer

Be honest with them and how I feel in the nicest way possible

Anonymous · Answer

That's actually happened to me before. I rejected the girl who asked me out, and then the girl I liked rejected ME, so I ended up with neither of them. It was a huge mess, and I was angry, but what was I supposed to do? I can't force myself to like someone I'm not at least emotionally attracted to?

abc3643 · Answer

That's basically what happens when you are on the rebound.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I would go with the person who asked me out. Never wait for someone to come around; they will just waste your time and waste your life. I learned that the hard way too many times.

12 years ago, I would have said the opposite. I rejected probably about 5 total girls (or maybe more) because I was in love with one girl. A girl who didn't like me at all. Never again.

Flower7 · Answer

I would go out with the new guy. The thing with the crush might never even happen!

clampfan101 · Answer

“No thanks. Want to be friends?” If things didn’t work with who I was crushing on and the the girl that asked me out had been a good friend, I’d consider asking if she still wanted to date.

JC1981 · Answer

I would say no to the guy that asked me out. It's not fair on him or you when you have feelings for someone else.

dustybiker · Answer

I would have already approached the crush, so I would have my answer. Also be completely flattered toward the person asking me out though.

SerenStone · Answer

Well, depends if the one asking out is a good person, yes.  I don't even know if the person I'm crushing on will say yes. I'd just go out with that "someone else", you'll never know

Dog87 · Answer

I'd have to pass that up. If I like someone and feel like it's mutual I don't even consider anyone else. Being in like is way better than just going out or hooking up

es20490446e · Answer

If I was crushing on someone I would ask that gal out as soon as possible. If the reply wasn't a clear "yes", then I would forget about the girl and instantly open myself to meet someone else.

BCA6010 · Answer

I think that would depend entirely on whether or not I thought the asker had potential.

kcb97 · Answer

I would probably reject them. Its not right to lead someone on if you like someone else.

Apulu · Answer

I will not accept it as I don't want to fake my love. I will be a toxic relationship too.

JBlade · Answer

Depends but if I like that person too, I'd at least go on a date to see if it works. If I don't like them enough, I wouldn't want to waste either of our time.

AdithyaR · Answer

I'd tell them I'm flattered but I would have to decline. The continue to not ask out my crush cause of my introversion.😂

Anonymous · Answer

I would kindly say no. If they ask why, we’ll, be honest but don’t say who you’re crushing on. They don’t need to know it full detail.

Bluemax · Answer

I've actually had this happen. I said yes, but wound up regretting it. I generally am attracted to one person at a time. Ultimately the girl who asked me out regretted it, too.

bowenw · Answer

If the person you're crushing on doesn't have a crush on you, I'd go out with the other person.

ChiPaPa · Answer

I'd go with the person that asked me out. Why? Because in every instance that I liked someone, they didn't.

GingerGuy · Answer

Being I've never been asked out, this is really hypothetical lol. I would also consider that other person if I was attracted to them. Them having the confidence to ask me is very attractive.

Grubhub · Answer

Depends if I liked the other person or not. I’ve rejected tons of women and had rumors of being gay for it. And these were unattractive women spreading these lies

EmbraceThePain · Answer

I mean, it depends on that someone who asked me out

spartan55 · Answer

Why would I limit my options just because I like someone else. That's self sabotage hence stupid.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Go out with person that asked me out if I find th attractive.

Better_off_here · Answer

that is just a darn shame if that happens, well i guess i would tell myself not to wait so long i would rather be rejected and hurt than to not at all of tried.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I would definitely say not cause I'm crushing on someone else that unfair to that person don't want to set them up for a let down

anon1903 · Answer

Polyamorous. Not a problem. Although the partners might have one. 😂

Cherry234 · Answer

Usually I turn down the person who has asked me out when I have a crush on someone else. I kinda regret it because I didn't give the other person a chance to see if there could be chemistry

Rab1901 · Answer

I would've asked out my crush already and took it from there. If we didn't connect then I'd be open to going out with another person as long as she seems like a quality human being.

hahahmm · Answer

Crushes don't count. I always had high standards tho. If I don't like something about the woman asking me out I'd say, 'no' without hesitation.

Starwitch23 · Answer

I would go out with someone if I find him decent. I crush on people but never get obsessed. I like to crush from faraway.

LavenderLuna · Answer

Depends on if I like the person who asked me out. I wouldn’t date someone I want interested in, and most of the time I only like one person at a time.

KellyKOO · Answer

If I'm crushing on someone I have a legit shot with , I would tell the person no becuase I don't want to jeopardize my chances. If it's a general crush , I'll be open to the date, if I was attracted to the asker.

chanelmakeup · Answer

I would say refuse to go out honestly. Unless I knew for sure my crush doesn't wanna date me then I might give the other guy a chance if I liked him a little bit

j2002babe · Answer

I would go out with them, to explore my options. Remember you don't own your CRUSH anything.

sionic99 · Answer

Depends on how things are with my crush. If there's a chance I might be able to go on a date with my crush Id reject the other person. However If there's no possibility of me and my crush to become a thing Id go on a date with the other person.

Hulk30 · Answer

go with the other person because to me a crush is just sexual attraction it dont mean romantic interest

libsaretards · Answer

I would compare what I know about both and pursue whichever was more compatible, assuming my crush is even an available option.

Fuentes · Answer

Smash the one asking me out and go after the crush next

_Clara_ · Answer

I would say no to both. lol

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