If she cancels a 3rd or 4th date with excuses, does sending this reply kill any chance you might have had?

[Anonymous]

“No worries, thanks for letting me know. Hope you find what you’re looking for in the end. X”

her reply was “Thank you, you too! X”

Yes that text has killed any chances and her reply confirmed it

Not necessarily - it’s still salvageable

[Interstate]

Its for the best, my friend. If she can't just give a, "Thank you for your company the past couple of dates, but I'm afraid I'm just not feeling it." (that's what she said), then you don't need somebody this disrespectful.

[Asker]

Is that what she meant do you think? She was really enthusiastic after the first date to the extent she contacted me to thank me for a great time and arrange a second date.

[Asker]

She initially said this but I wasn’t sure how to interpret that so I just assumed she lost interest as she was keen up to the point she sent this message. “Hey, sorry for the late reply! Things have gotten really busy at work and had some other stuff going on. I'm sorry I don't think I can make Thursday any more. I'm going away this weekend on the boat trip so not sure when I would be able to meet up. Really bad timing at the moment! Sorry to mess you around x”

[Interstate]

Lets analyze a few pieces of her text, shall we?

"I'm sorry I don't think I can make Thursday any more." & "Really bad timing at the moment!".

The part about timing gives it hope. She took the initiative to say "at the moment", which means "just for now". If it were a dead issue, she would have just said she couldn't do Thursdays anymore, and the sentence would have dropped off there. The best way to find out for sure is to text her back and say to her that if she feels up to trying again for a third date, to let you know. At this point, one of two things will happen:

1. She won't respond AT ALL
2. She will respond saying, "thanks but no thanks", or something to that affect.

[Asker]

Interesting. I guess all I can do is try in a couple of weeks time just to start another conversation with her. I can’t know what she’s thinking or read her mind. So I won’t assume it’s over unless she says so.

[Asker]

I was thinking of just starting a conversation with her in a couple of weeks time along the lines of “how are you doing?”. And then if I can get a conversation going just leaving it with “do let me know if you feel like a third date at some point. :) I really enjoyed the first 2.”

[Interstate]

I should have mentioned there was a number three on my list. And it would have been that she would respond saying she would like to see you again.

Sorry that was my bad. But your second message (the one where you used the smiley) was good. REMEMBER, don't force or press anything, PARTICULARLY the third date inquiry. Throw it out there so its known, let it rest and keep going. She will respect you for letting her go through her paces.

[Asker]

Or how about just “ Hey, how are you? I just wanted to get in touch to see if you’d still be interested in meeting up again for a date when your schedule is a bit less busy? I enjoyed the first 2 dates and it would be good to see you again. x”.

[Interstate]

You don't want to push the subject of a second date, or that will turn her away. Should she respond, get into conversation then say, "Oh by the way, I just wanted to mention that I enjoyed our date. And I would be interested in going on a second one when things calm down with you. But in the meantime, feel free to make contact with me if you feel like chatting."; She will appreciate that. That will tell her that you don't only care about dating her again.

[Asker]

It’s a third date.

[Asker]

How about “Hey, hope you’re well. I just wanted to get back in touch to say that I really enjoyed the first 2 dates and it would be good to see you again when your schedule is a bit freer. Do feel free to contact me if you feel up for meeting up again or if you just want to chat. x”

[Interstate]

AS I SAID... leave the mention of another date until the very end. And say to her what I quoted in my last message at THAT time. If all you text her is about another date, she will think that is all you care about. But judging by your posts, you apparently do.

[Asker]

I am getting conflicting advice. What are your credentials?

[Interstate]

I had said in the prior message from yesterday about NOT pushing the mention of another date. Then you replied with, "How about “Hey, hope you’re well. I just wanted to get back in touch to say that I really enjoyed the first 2 dates and it would be good to see you again when your schedule is a bit freer.". And this is AFTER I had said to lay off of it and let her get in touch with YOU.

But it is coming across to me as though this has become an obsession. You don't want to drop it until you hear her say, "yes" or "ok". Have you stopped to think about what you will do if for some reason she says just the opposite? Yes it is good to feel the excitement of hearing her give you the green light, but there is no guarantee. It would be a good idea in the meantime to get out there and meet other Girls/Women.

[Asker]

You didn’t answer my question from my last message.

[Anonymous]

Sorry about that. At least nothing horrific happened right? Maybe next time you'll find the right person. 👍

[SnakeBoop]

yes, thats pretty done and closed.

[Asker]

So if a girl flakes, is it generally salvageable?

[SnakeBoop]

not with this kind of response. You're basically killing it off. You also can stop spamming this same question now, you should have plenty of dang answers.

[Asker]

So you think if I casually start a conversation with her in a few weeks time, it won’t go anywhere?

[boggboss]

Yeah its over

[Asker]

So if a girl flakes, is it generally salvageable?

[boggboss]

It is as the excuse could be true strange shit happens or somthing else that she is not comftble saying plus passive aggresivly ending it makes u look weak

[Asker]

Was it passive aggressive?

[Asker]

I didn’t intend for it to come off in that way

[boggboss]

By essentially telling her she was not intrested so you hope she finds that in someone else

[Asker]

Is that passive aggressive though? Surely it’s just polite?

[boggboss]

No because u are saying essentially I know the reason u gave was bullshit so I'm sorry I was not good enough when you may not have been the issue but somthing else

[Asker]

Oh damn. I didn’t look at it that way.

[Asker]

So you think if I casually start a conversation with her in a few weeks time, it won’t go anywhere?

[boggboss]

No it will look like you are wither playing games or are desperate as u already acknowledged that she didn't want you
You have burned that bridge mate

[Asker]

She initially said this but I wasn’t sure how to interpret that so I just assumed she lost interest as she was keen up to the point she sent this message. “Hey, sorry for the late reply! Things have gotten really busy at work and had some other stuff going on. I'm sorry I don't think I can make Thursday any more. I'm going away this weekend on the boat trip so not sure when I would be able to meet up. Really bad timing at the moment! Sorry to mess you around x”

[Asker]

I have nothing to lose though from getting in contact again since she’s a stranger and we have no mutual friends. If she ignores it or responds negatively then I have my answer.