If someone rejected you but later on wanted you would you reject them or be with them?

[Anonymous]

Tbh I'm on the fence cause I'm petty like that.

[Cynicaldreamer]

They're lucky if I'm still talking to them if they rejected me once.
I'm sure as heck not going to date them after they already turned me down once... no! I have too much respect for myself.

That's called being someone's second choice. They want you AFTER the fact. Or the person they originally wanted to be with didn't work out, and you're their backup choice.

Don't do it.

If they like you, they wouldn't have passed you up the first time. Or had to "think it over."

[Jfranco12]

That’s not always the case though, there are plenty of reasons for a rejection, sometimes it’s not even about the person. It depends on how they rejected you and for what reason I suppose.

[HollyK21]

Definitely not, they had their chance lol and I feel like people who reject you then want you back aren’t being genuine. 9/10 it’s because you got more attractive, you’re a last resort because they can’t last with someone else/find anyone else, etc., and I’m way better than that.

[Asker]

I hate it too, whoever rejects me is gonna pay the price

[HollyK21]

Yep!

[jennifer_bloom]

It depends why they rejected me but I think I would give them a chance.

[btbc92]

The question is was it REALLY a rejection or was you upset they didn't want you then?
Secondly, I wouldn't date a person I am not friends with or compatible with, let alone if it isn't anything mutual. you can tell if there is something mutual. It is MUTUALLY shared, even when not verbally shared.
If they actually told you no because they don't like you or want your period. Why should you now? That is the question. I only reject men with who I didn't have a connection with, to begin with. If I wasn't ready for a relationship, I would just tell them that and tell them for us to continue to be friends and get to know each other along the way. So if they reject that then that is not my fault and I would not bother with them again. It is as simple as that and I am not getting my feelings hurt.

[HollyK21]

Not trying to start anything, I’m just genuinely curious, how is someone not wanting you not rejection? Because by definition rejection is refusal/dismissing. So if someone knows you want them, but they don’t want you back, not interested in the idea, etc, isn’t that rejection?

[btbc92]

@HollyK21 Because people's feelinsg change. And unless a person says they will never want to date you, you never know in the future. It is people who assume and tend to be selfish and thus, miss out on relationships they claim they wanted. Other's people's definition does not have to affect my desires of what I want or not want. This is why you communicate, why you hold no bias, and make sure you understand what the person actually wants. Agin, especially if you too young, it may not be smart. And besides, its all the more reason you date a friend, NOT a complete stranger. And you would avoid this 99.9% of the time. But, I cannot tell others how to date. I gave plenty of men chances, they didn't want to wait. they came back still seeing if I was a virgin still. I think that says a lot. They didn't listen to me. Now they learned the hard way.

[HollyK21]

I definitely agree with all of that, I mean my feelings for people have changed over time in the past lol. But at the time that you know they like you, but you don’t like them back, that seems like rejection. Even if down the road you changed your mind, in the time they were interested, you weren’t..

[btbc92]

You must DEVELOP first. You can't just want people. You don't even know them? How can you want somebody you don't know? Then when you have hell in your relationships and marriages, you wonder? I don't. It's common sense. I never like to rush. I rather take 4 years to know a person before deciding if dating is a good a idea. If the person really wants you they would wait for you. If they don't wait, they never wanted you ENOUGH to try to keep you. You learn a lot of relationship skills without even getting in it. I never dated ever for this reason. I am glad I never did. How people date today is abnormal. I ain't putting myself through the wringer because the guy isn't sure if he is serious or not. You never rush for these reasons. It's why I have my dating rules so strict. Again, people change. Isn't relationships about discovering the romantic aspects of things before marriage? If so, remember, not everybody is ready for serious relationships otherwise, you would get hurt if you get involved. I never try to date a person who I don't already share that connection and know. You have to KNOW. Because if not, you're going to be stuck in a relationship that is one-sided.

[btbc92]

@HollyK21 That doesn't matter. That childish thing. To assume that you miss out on something. That is the past. In the past, you were not always mature. When you are more mature, you have a different perspective on relationships. For some people, they never mature and if you have people who hinder your growth, then you end up heartbroken. You know, everything in life has a purpose. And you got to have a purpose when dating. You cannot just date everyone. Feelings or no feelings. The feeling has 0 to do with your choices. OR ELSE you end up making grave mistakes that could be avoidable. if a guy assumes that I rejected him when I specifically made it absolutely CLEAR as DAY, I am not READY. That's his fault. I never said I wasn't interested. I said I wasn't READY. So unless the guy is deaf in one ear or something, he heard what I said. He just didn't like the fact he couldn't get into my panties. That's how I can weed out bad suitors.

[HollyK21]

I could see that for sure. I don't know, it just seems rare that this is the case. So often they’re basing their decision on looks and other vain reasons, and them saying no to someone’s advance isn’t because they don’t know them or something. I do agree that not everyone is ready for a serious situation, but asking someone out for coffee isn’t like asking for their hand in marriage lol we can’t foresee or mentally lay out a future plan with someone we don’t know. So I definitely agree with your thought process in proceeding with someone, but regardless of how you lay it out, at the end of the day you’re still saying no to them in the moment they’re asking you out. Even if you have great logic behind that no, it’s still a no.

[HollyK21]

Thanks for taking time to elaborate on this a bit for me though, I wasn’t really getting it

[btbc92]

Like I told the guys, it is not my fault you went out there. I told you I am not having sex before marriage. So anything that I could have had with them in the future, is already gone. they made their choices. They can't come back to me all these years sleeping with 4 women and then want to know am I still a virgin and still never had a boyfriend. While I forgave that man, and he apologized to me since a child. He said I was right, all while he called me a religious prude years before, and that he should have WAITED. That is not my fault because he wanted to shame my decisions and 4 bad relationships later still want to see if he had a chance. Because of his damning words, I no longer wanted to be involved with a man on that level. I still don't. Now others who may be innocent, they have to deal with me breaking their heart because I can't open myself up to a man. And I feel sorry for them. Because now I'm at fault for their pain. That's why you never assume. You have to really know. And if you already know, then you owe that person no explanation of why you say no to another chance. They had their chance years ago.

[HollyK21]

Yeah, I hear you with that for sure

[btbc92]

@HollyK21 Asking for coffee is no different. Do you know why? BECAUSE it is an experience. IFor me, it is important that that precious romantic experience is only shared by a man I already desire to have for a husband. I cannot just date every man, I don't even drink coffee. But I get attached. Spending time with one person multiples is not good on my heart. And I don't need confusion. That is unhealthy and then you can't let go and then another wants to try but then you're stuck with one or more and now you can't make up your mind. And yes you can foresee if your given sight to see. I can see that far. Which is why I always told them no. 99.9% I was correct. They weren't for me. And let's say I DISCOVERED a lot of things I would have regretted had I dated them. You got to know for sure. It requires spiritual wisdom to know. So if they felt it was a no, they weren't for me and I dodged a bullet full of heartache. Every decision I ever made so far when men were the right choice. I don't regret not dating them. Though I pray they are happy with whoever they are with. If it is called for me to marriage, then God knows who that is and that is according to his timing. Not my own.

[HollyK21]

That’s all good things, like I understand your logic behind saying no. My point is that you’re still saying no, and no is rejection.

[btbc92]

@HollyK21 I never had to reject them. I and we wasn't ready for that. They just wanted an experience. Not a relationship. And because of that, I in the end got hurt.

[HollyK21]

That’s an even better reason to say no, like I completely understand and respect your reason for not venturing down that road. It’s smart of you to avoid a person that you know isn’t well intended. But even by definition, rejection is dismissal, refusing of a proposal, idea, etc. So even tho you’re saying no for all the right reason, plainly put it’s still rejecting that person and what they were trying to do to you. I guess I just don’t understand what else no could possibly mean...

[btbc92]

Well I'm going through all of that nonsense with people for nearly three of my life. I kind of find out no can mean many things. I learn especially regarding men on that level, do I see it, the words are just words. That's why I rather believe God's words than over anybody else's words. And besides. Into the person actually know you, they can't say what it is route to knowing who you are unless you already reveal who you watching them and they still don't like you. I come to realize you can't please people.

[btbc92]

I've been going through all of that most of the people for nearly 30 years of my life*

[HollyK21]

I completely get where you’re coming from, girly🙏

[ohshee]

Well that's really kind of silly when a girl rejects you it's for a reason did you happen to ask her what her reason is it could be anything maybe she's not ready maybe she was dating somebody else maybe one of her parents are sick and she had to take care of them and she couldn't do both things at the same time you respect her if you like somebody if you love somebody you respect her that was her choice and you have to respect whatever reason that was

And now whatever that reason might be it's over with and now she can focus and being the type of relationship she wants to be in and you want to play a game you did it to me so I'm going to do it to you it makes no sense to me look at the whole picture and stop thinking about yourself I think about her

[magiusX26]

unless some sort of extreme circumstances are involved, not a chance of anything dating related gonna happen. more likely (assuming we even still speak) "i have not changed, you have not changed. so why you intetested now? your othet option/s leave you? you had your chance, you chose not me, live with the concequences of your decision now." or something to that effect.

[m33lad]

Nah man the chase game finishes.
Especially if they rejected me in a fked up way.

[ChiPaPa]

I'd probably reject them, unless they gave a good reason to not be with me earlier.

[Waldoe]

not enough background information to even begin to guess

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Hmm…….. i think we could take a wee peak and see if it can work

[Shy_Steve]

Probably be with them if I was still single and wasn't really interested in anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Same tbh I’m do petty I promised myself I would date nobody frm my city😂 lol like nope

[Hangry06]

Ofc be with them

[Asker]

Nah, I'll set her up with my trash can because really they belong together

[whatfor84]

i would reject

[888theGreat]

depends