If a person who had rejected you years ago asked you out, would you accept or reject them? I saw this question on quora, and a guy answered saying it's immature to reject cause you're just being bitter. According to him, people change over time and so do their preferences, so not giving it a chance now shows you can't forgive people and are holding a grudge.
I don't believe that, if someone didn't like me then, I'm pretty sure they won't like me now and are most probably trying to settle for me which I won't accept. Your thoughts?
Would you reject someone who rejected you years ago?
Would you reject someone who rejected you years ago?
I agree with what you say man... she/he rejects you, looking to other "options" and when those options dont pan out the way they were fantasizing... they turn back and look at you, lol... settle.. thats the perfect word right there. This topic does make me a bit conflicted because people have to kind of find what they like. so maybe it wasn't time yet? I don't know... i guess it depends.
Friend of mine told me some girl turned him down saying she wasn't ready for a relationship... but like not even up to a week later she was dating mr popularity... and mr popularity was popular and used his popularity God knows how many times with other women... and she came back and started flirting with my friend and he rejected her, quite rudely too and explained his reason... and then she started crying talking about no man wants her. lol... but my friend did at a time... but greed is a bitch.
I have some years ago I had a accident and broke my back they said I wouldn't walk again after about 6 month my wife left me she said she didn't sign up for this lol 18 month went past with loads more opps and loads o physio I started walking again I bumped into my ex she said we should get to gever some time I told her to dream on
I don't hold grudges against guys who reject me but I have a problem with guys who don't respect me. If a guy was respectful and polite but didn't want to date me - and later he did - I would say - yes IF I stilled liked him. If a guy was rude and inconsiderate and wanted to date me - it would not be something I would consider.
They could have changed their taste and what they want in a relationship. It is not all abou physical beauty. Someone may have nit wanted a relationship in the past, or they may have been after different personalities. Also, even the physical prefernces may change during our teens. I see that often.
To reject them on the basis of them just rejecting you a long time ago seems silly because depending on the time frame that could be a totally different person. Not to mention you will be too!
I don't want them. Period. Nobody is entitled and he is very much wrong. Accepting somebody to be a MATE is not forgiveness, is being foolish. Because 1, if they really wanted to get to know you, they would be your friend. And if you are not compatible as friends, how are you compatible as lovers? 2, dating is supposed to be to see if you're compatible for marriage. Since so many people are NOT waiting for marriage to have sex, therefore, you are requesting for a SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP. You cannot be sexual with everybody and your only supposed to have 1 person married. And if you couldn't keep the marriage or the spouse died, you still only be with one person at a time. The fact that he even said that is ignorance. As you said, it's settling because people change drastically. They may have been infatuated, which is exactly that if not lust. As you get older if you weren't mature before, you've matured some at some point since then, if you allow life to teach you. But a lot do not mature. The guy sounds so desperate for somebody, anybody to just accept him. The world is not here to accept you. And he has to grow up and understand that nobody owes him a relationship. He owes it to himself to learn from his past so that he can be stable for somebody else in the future.
I think it depends on the situation like boys when i was younger weren’t into me but then i changed my appearance and lost weight and over all looked better and then they were into me. I just hated that it was based on looks and i don’t think no youngster should have to go through that. If it’s a realization then i think they deserve a chance because they are looking at your personality but if it’s because you look better than you did before as a level of attractiveness then no :(
It depends on the circumstances. For example if they rejected me because they thought they were too cool for me or me not cool enough I would definitely tell them to get lost.
In some cases people don't deserve chances they weren't willing to give you.
Yeah rejections are final. It makes me livid when girls that rejected me have the audacity to try and interact with me later. If she makes a wrong assumption about me and finds out that she actually does want to get to know me later, she still doesn't get to just take back her actions and start over. Rejections go both ways for me.
Are you the exact same person now compared to 1 year ago? 3 years ago? 5 years ago? No your not, so he is right and you are wrong. But that also means they have changed, they might not be the same you fell in love with back then.
I'm still the same person I was before and will be dame person. Plus once someone rejects me, I lose interest for them so later if they ask me I won't be interested.
If she didn't like me when I was "nerdy and too nice", had friends, and had a secretive boyfriend who all treated me poorly while she sat in the sidelines. Then couple years later, I meet her again with a full set of kids without a dad to take care of them and she would gladly love to start a love spark with me over again and/or she hits the wall.
Depends on why they rejected me to begin with. If he was arrogant and insulting then no, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with him. If it was a polite rejection (with or without explanation) then yes, I'd give him a chance.
So you think you'll be the same person on 19 years time? You'll still want the same things, think the same way? So if someone you really clicked with now turns you down (maybe they're not ready dor a commitment, or are off to uni or are still a virgin and afraid of the next step so shy away), but you meet again years later and still have that connection you dont think there's a chance of seeing where it may go?
Depends if I still find them attractive. But normally when someone rejects I'll bury that attraction in the deep dark corners of my mind so it can slowly rot and I don't have to be head over heels for someone that doesn't like me.
It would depend how and why they rejected me and how much time had passed since. Example I asked a girl out in high school, and she said she was taken, but she was very respectful and nice about it. I had never felt so good about being rejected before. She didn't make me feel bad in any way about being asked. So if I were to meet her again today and she was interested, I'd absolutely accept.
But generally speaking, I believe if they rejected you before, that was their true feelings about you (ie, they had/have no real interest) and it probably hasn't changed (ie, maybe they're "settling" for you), in which case, no.
That's kind of happening to me right now. I'm making her work for it. I give her just enough to think i'm going to make a move then i pull away and start talking to other women. When we talk again i'm really sweet and then when she gets close i pull away again. The best thing is from the past I feel nothing for her. So if she finally gets pissed and gives up. No loss at all emotionally to me. But if i can break her it feels oh so righteous!
Maybe you didn't ask twice last time or didn't try hard enough and took rejection too easily, but if the rejection was a public humiliation - now that's different 😉 don't go back
If there's one thing is respect about people, it's their right to say no. So if someone says no, I'm not going to pester them, there's no try harder or pursue. And there's nothing called taking rejection too easily.
That really depends on the person, if there was a reasonably reason for them rejecting you before, like maybe they wernt ready for someone or maybe some family problems. Then i wouldn't reject them. But if they were just settling, then thats a deff no. Because as soon as someone "better" come along, they would leave
This recently happened... I used to have a crush on a guy that was 19 when I was 14... he said it was the age difference lol... but now he is trying to date me... but I have a boyfriend
Lol to my poor little 14yo heart it was rejection devastating! I thought I was in love... n he knew i liked him... he gave me attention n would wink at me but when I told him I wanted my first kiss to be with him, he said he couldn't. I thought i was mature lol n age shouldn't have mattered ( clearly, I was dumb) 😂😂😂
Depends on how long ago. If we randomly meet up after years and spark a flame then I'm down. If she contacts me then that's a sign she's thinking of giving me a chance, which I wouldn't accept.
Lol no, i actually get my own personal revenge by stringing them along. Thinking they will have me but they won't. So its a technical rejection, just in a way that screws with them physchologically.
Generally speaking I see a person who rejected me in a different light afterwards. So if they were to have a change of heart several years down the road I'd probably no longer see them as relationship material.
Depends on how things went before. If she rejected me nicely and tried not to hurt me or not. On how our relationship was after that. And if I like her now of course.
no, if she was good with me i wouldn't (and if she wanted to trick me into something trust me i would find out and we would break up) except if she was a feminist then i would... actually i would reject every girl that is a feminist to be honest...
Most likely I would not accept the invitation, because that boat has already sailed. I don't tend to stay interested in past girl friends, even if they are the one's that ended the relationships.
I'd more likely reject a girl who rejected me years ago, but rather for the reason that she ruined my feeling of safety around her, like she became quite weird.
Depends how she is now and if her reasoning was justified then. Maybe she rejected me due to drug problems or other things that I no longer battle and she is leased with the changes I've made.
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Anonymous
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I would reject them because I lose interest in those that reject me. Once I've lost interest in a person it's almost impossible to get it back.
Because it's like you do it out of some stupid reason such as to revenge or "ha you did to me this, I'll do it to you too" ... Just grow up... But if you really moved on from it then yeah, it's fine, reject them
you're actually the first woman I've seen in this website thats not immature!! i wish you good luck to everything you do! you restored my faith in women!
My justification isn't that. Once someone rejects me I lose any interest bi had for them, so I wouldn't be interested in them later. Plus if she didn't find me attractive then I don't believe she will now, so I'll reject her. That isn't revenge. Revenge is to be us in other places.
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